“So your pride won’t allow you to go back, even though you say it’s the perfect workplace?”
I chuckled. “Touché.”
“On Monday, I’ll talk to the reporter who called me the other day. I’ll see if they’re still interested.”
“Okay, and I’ll call Danny and tell him I want back in even if it means cleaning the fucking toilets.” I really hoped it wouldn’t mean that. “Who knows if he’ll listen though.”
AROUND MIDNIGHT on Saturday night, Alyssa’s phone rang. And then kept ringing. It took a moment for her to wake enough to reach for it. The ringtone shut off seconds before her groggy voice whispered, “Hello?”
A second later, she sat bolt upright and threw the covers off. Her voice grew panicked, but I was still too sleepy to understand the rushed words as she moved around the motel.
She threw some clothes at me before wiggling into her own.
“Get up, we’re leaving,” she said to me before turning her attention back to the phone.
I did as I was instructed, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
While I struggled to wake up fully and get my pants back on, she dashed around the room packing everything back into our bags. Her hands moved constantly, throwing the items into haphazard piles.
After another moment, she disconnected the call and threw her mobile down onto the bed.
“What is it? What’s up?” I asked, my voice deeper than usual because of the vestiges of sleep clinging to my vocal cords.
She threw my keys at me. “It’s Phoebe.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: FULLY SICK
WITHIN TEN MINUTES of the call waking us, we were in the car heading back home. I left the motel room key in the after-hours box, together with a note to explain our speedy departure and leaving my number in case there were any dramas.
“She’ll be okay.” I reached across the car and placed my hand on Alyssa’s knee before giving it a small, reassuring squeeze.
“I know. I just hate it when she’s sick. I worry it’s going to be the one thing that sets her back. I can’t lose her, Dec. I just can’t.”
“What did Ruby say was wrong?” I hadn’t been able to get that out of her yet; all she’d said was that Phoebe needed her and we had to go home.
“Phoebe’s been vomiting for the last hour and her temp is close to forty.”
“And forty’s bad?”
“Yeah, Dec,” she snapped. “Forty’s pretty fucking bad.”
“She’ll be okay,” I said again.
“You can’t know that. I shouldn’t have left her. I shouldn’t have gone away.”
It was clear Alyssa wasn’t in any position to be reasonable. “We’ll be home soon, okay?”
For the rest of the drive home, I whispered reassurances to Alyssa. I was sure she didn’t want to hear them, but I couldn’t let the time pass in silence either. Especially when she was panicking. I just wished I was enough to cut her panic in half the way she did for me.
The instant I pulled the car into my garage, before I’d even killed the ignition, she was out of the car and running for the house.
Leaving our bags where they were in the boot, I followed her inside. I found her at the top of the stairs drawing Phoebe into her embrace.
“Mummy, I don’t feel good.”
“I know, sweetie. Aunty Ruby called me and let me know, so I came straight home. Where do you hurt?”
Phoebe’s response was to hurl over Alyssa’s shoulder. Seeming to sense my gaze on her, Alyssa turned to me. “Can you get me some towels and a wet face washer?” When I didn’t move instantly, she huffed out a breath. “Please?”
Not knowing what else to do in the face of an obviously sick child, I followed her instructions. I was running the face washer under the tap in the bathroom sink when Ruby found me.
“I’m sorry for cutting your weekend short,” she said, with something that almost resembled a friendly smile gracing her lips.
“It’s okay. You don’t have kids of your own so I guess it would be hard to know how to cope.” Fuck knows I didn’t have a clue.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” She yanked the washer out of my hands and snarled at me. “Alyssa packs a small chemist for Phoebe everywhere she goes. Between that and what’s between my ears, I have all I need to look after a sick child. But if I hadn’t called and Alyssa found out Phoebe had been sick, I would never have heard the end of it. That is the only reason I called her.”
She stalked off before I could say anything more. I wasn’t sure what had caused her turnaround, but all niceties had been wiped away in an instant. “Well, fuck you very much too,” I muttered as I grabbed the dry towels from the linen cupboard.
By the time I got back to Alyssa, she had Phoebe lying down in my bed with the wet face washer over her forehead. When I walked into the room, Phoebe hurled again. She sat up and aimed for the container Alyssa had, but still managed to coat the bedding and mattress in vomit. I tried not to think about how expensive the carpet in the room was, or how much the deluxe mattress had cost, and concentrated instead on the sick little girl leaning into Alyssa’s embrace.
I offered the towels to Alyssa, who took them and made a little shield around herself and Phoebe.
“How are you feeling?” I asked Phoebe.
When she turned her gaze to me, the sight shattered my heart. Her doleful gaze and small pout made her appear like a completely different child from the one I knew.
“Her temp is coming down,” Alyssa said. “Ruby gave her some Panadol before we got home. Hopefully her stomach will settle soon, and I’ve got some Hydralyte in her bag for her to sip on once it has. Ruby’s making it up now.”
I nodded. “Is there anything I can do?”
Alyssa shook her head. “Not at the moment.”
Feeling like I was intruding, even though it was my bedroom, I stood to leave.
“Where are you going?” Alyssa asked.
“I just thought you’d want to be alone with her.”
“You’re not going anywhere, buddy. You can lie down with us. That’ll make her feel better. Won’t it, sweetheart?”
With her lip still pouted, and quivering slightly, Phoebe met my gaze and nodded. Climbing onto a bed with vomit on the sheets wasn’t exactly something I wanted to do—even if it wasn’t the first time I’d done it—but because Phoebe needed me, I shifted onto the bed on the other side of her, away from the towels covering the puddle that still needed to be cleaned up, leaving her sandwiched between us.
“This won’t make her too hot?” I asked.
Alyssa shook her head. “Just give her space and she’ll be fine.”
Using the wet washer, Alyssa wiped Phoebe’s brow. Phoebe whimpered and cuddled into her a little more. Feeling useless that I couldn’t do something more, I just rubbed my fingers along Phoebe’s arm and whispered to her that I was there as well.
Even though it wasn’t anything life-threatening—at least I hoped to God it wasn’t—I felt helpless. More than anything, I wanted to have some magic cure that would make her better. I marvelled at Alyssa’s strength once more. She’d dealt with Phoebe in hospital, with her practically on her deathbed. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how constantly terrifying that must have been. How would I have coped if I’d been there? I wasn’t sure I would have.
Within a minute, Phoebe was dozing. Once she’d drifted off completely, Alyssa towelled her down and removed her wet clothes before slipping her into a fresh nightie. Watching her work, doing so much with only one hand because the other was still tucked around Phoebe, I was amazed. She was some sort of fucking natural at it all.
“I’ll change the sheets in a minute too,” Alyssa said.
All I could do was nod.
When Ruby brought in a clear sippy cup filled with an orange liquid a few minutes later, she didn’t say anything. She slammed the cup onto my bedside table. With her eyes narrowed, she gave me such a glare my dick shrivelled away to protect himself fro
m the beating promised in her ice-blue stare, before leaving the room again.
“What did you say to her?” Alyssa whispered.
“Nothing. Why?”
“Something happened when you were getting the towels to put her in the foulest mood I’ve seen in . . . well, in a very long time.”
“And you think it’s something I said?”
“I’m just going from history, Dec. She’s never been your biggest fan. Although, I had thought you were winning her around.”
“She just apologised for interrupting our weekend.”
“And?”
“And nothing. I said it was okay because she couldn’t expect to know how to deal with a sick kid when she didn’t have any.”
“Are you serious?” Alyssa’s gaze flashed with something not entirely dissimilar to the glare Ruby had given me. My hand dropped to protect my balls because I was sure they were going to be ripped off or kicked or something based on that look. Especially with two out of the three other people in the house giving it to me.
“What?”
“You can’t say things like that.”
“Like what?”
“Saying that she doesn’t know how to be a mother just because she doesn’t have kids.”
“But—”
“She’s been there for Phoebe from day one. I couldn’t even count the number of nights she came over to take a shift in Phoebe’s room and forced me to get some sleep.”
“I—I didn’t know.”
“And she and Josh have been trying for a baby for years. It’s not by choice that she doesn’t have children.”
“Oh.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I considered what Alyssa was saying, and the repercussions of my thoughtless words.
“Yeah, oh. It’s no wonder she’s so upset.”
“I’ll try to make it up to her.”
“You can’t tell her I told you about not being able to get pregnant.”
“So I have to apologise for something without telling her what I’m apologising for?”
Alyssa chuckled. “Something like that. Can you take her for a moment?” She gently coaxed Phoebe to roll into my arms.
Once I had our daughter wrapped in my arms and settled again, Alyssa got up and expertly stripped the dirty sheets off most of the bed without spreading the mess that the towels had covered. With a few hand gestures and nods, she directed me to move just right so that she removed the sheets completely without having to get Phoebe out of bed. A few minutes later, she brought in another clean face washer and wiped Phoebe down once more. On her next trip, she brought up a blue-and-white box of white powder.
“It’s bicarb. It’s for the smell,” she explained.
I wondered where the hell she pulled it from, but figured it was probably something from Christina’s supplies. She sprinkled the bicarb powder over the slightly damp patches on my mattress before laying down another fresh towel and putting a fresh set of sheets down. I had to lift Phoebe out of the bed to let her spread them out, but I was able to do that without waking her.
“You still all right with her?” Alyssa asked as I laid Phoebe down again.
I nodded.
“When she wakes, have her sip on the Hydralyte.” Alyssa pointed at the cup. “But just sips. We don’t want to overload her stomach.”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to check on Ruby and then have a quick shower. Call me if you need a hand.”
“Sure thing.”
At some point, I must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing I knew, Phoebe was calling to me.
“Daddy.” One of her hands pushed my shoulder. It wasn’t enough force to shift me, but it roused me from my sleep.
I grunted, trying to figure out where I was and why she was rocking my shoulder. After a few blinks, my eyes had adjusted to the darkness. When Phoebe met my gaze, her eyes sparkled through the darkness. Instead of the pout which had been present before she’d fallen asleep, her lips were curled into a little smile.
“How are you feeling?” I asked. Sleep still strangled my voice so I cleared my throat and started again. “Better than before?”
“Little bit.”
“Mummy wanted you to drink a little of this,” I said as I reached for the cup, wondering where said mummy was.
Taking the handles on the cup in her hands, Phoebe took a big gulp of the drink.
“Just little sips. You don’t want to get sick again, do you?”
She shook her head and offered me the drink back again.
I took the cup off her and put it back on the bedside table.
She snuggled against my chest. “I missed you, Daddy,” she murmured sleepily before settling back to sleep again.
I fell asleep again soon after and the next time I woke, the muted early-morning light crept around the barrier of the curtains. My arm was above my head with Alyssa’s hand wrapped around mine. Between our bodies, Phoebe lay on her back, fast asleep with her mouth hanging open a little.
My gaze slid between my two girls. Despite the interruptions during the weekend, it had been helpful. It had helped solidify a few things for me—namely the lengths I would go to in order to keep my girls happy, safe, and healthy. I would walk to the ends of the Earth over broken glass just to make either of them smile.
I would do any job, take any role, if it meant I could provide for them the way I was supposed to.
Taking care not to wake either of them, I climbed out of the bed and grabbed clothes to change into.
After I’d showered and changed, I headed downstairs for an early breakfast. Sitting at the table, with a steaming mug of what I assumed was coffee in front of her, was Ruby. She glanced up at me as I approached, but didn’t say anything.
“About last night . . .” I trailed off because I wasn’t sure what to say or how to word it. “I didn’t mean what I said. It was thoughtless.”
With a wave of her hand, she tried to tell me it was okay, but I wouldn’t be deterred.
“I mean it, Ruby. I know you’ve been there for both Alyssa and Phoebe when I wasn’t. I won’t ever be able to thank you enough for that. The entire fucking support network she had makes it a little easier to forgive myself for the shit I did to her.”
“Do you really think you deserve forgiveness?”
I wasn’t sure whether she meant for the unintentional hurt I’d inflicted with my words or for my misdeeds in the time after Alyssa left. Either way, my answer was the same. “I don’t know, but I’m willing to do everything I can to earn it.”
“Alyssa told you about Josh and me. Didn’t she?”
I could have denied it, pleaded innocence and possibly avoided dumping Alyssa in the mess, but for all I knew, they’d had a deep and meaningful conversation last night and Ruby knew all the details. I was damned either way. “She mentioned something briefly, but no details.”
Ruby nodded.
“Are you upset with her?” Seeing that I wasn’t in any immediate danger of having my balls cut off, I moved into the kitchen to make some breakfast while we continued our conversation.
She shook her head. “No. How else could she have explained my reaction? I know it wasn’t entirely rational. But . . . I don’t know. It’s a little hard to explain to someone who’s never been in the situation. It’s just something that I’ve wanted for the longest time. To fail month after month would be like you getting kitted up for a race, event after event, and every time you make it to the car you’re called back to the pits and told that this isn’t the right race for you. That maybe you’ll get your chance at the next event.”
A bark of laughter ripped from my lips as I pressed down the toaster.
In response to my chuckle, she frowned at me and tilted her head in confusion.
“Did you just describe bumping uglies with Josh as an event?” I asked.
She joined my laughter. “Well, it fits.”
So that the image her words called to mind didn’t stick, I concentrated on my memory of
Alyssa in a race suit. With that picture in my head, and no more laughter on my lips, I started the conversation again. “Look, I don’t know anything about making babies.”
Her laughter grew into a howl and I realised what I’d inadvertently said.
“Wait, I take that back. I know plenty about what it takes to make babies, but usually I try to avoid making babies when I do it.”
Her nose curled up and her lips twisted as though she’d just tasted something unpleasant. “When did we get to the stage that it was okay to discuss our sex lives?”
“Sometime between vacations and vomit, I think.” A smile grew on my lips as I buttered my newly popped toast.
A fresh chuckle slipped from between her lips. “I’ll deny it if you ever tell anyone, but I actually don’t mind this new you.”
After spreading a thin layer of vegemite over the butter, I turned around and met Alyssa’s questioning gaze. She had a sleepy but seemingly better Phoebe in her arms. I nodded to let her know everything was okay.
“You won’t be able to deny it,” I said to Ruby. “There are witnesses.” I indicated Alyssa and Phoebe.
“Witnesses to what?” Alyssa asked, winking at Ruby.
“Oh, I see how it is. All the hens in the house ganging up on the lone cock.”
“Rooster,” Alyssa said the instant after the last K sound crossed my lips. “They’re called roosters in our house.”
Phoebe peeked her head out from where she was hiding against Alyssa’s neck and crowed like a rooster.
“And that’s why they’re roosters,” Alyssa said.
With things mostly squared with Ruby, I sat with Phoebe on my lap and ate my breakfast while Alyssa prepared some plain toast for Phoebe.
“Did you tell Declan about that cow?” Ruby said.
Phoebe made a mooing sound, but I didn’t pay much attention because there was something in the way Ruby asked her question that made me think there was something Alyssa had intended to tell me during our weekend of truths that we either hadn’t got to—or she’d chickened out and not said it.
“What cow?”
“That girl,” Ruby said.
Decipher (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #3) Page 17