“I’m sure Eden will be thrilled that you said that.”
A look of genuine fear crossed his face. “You wouldn’t tell her.”
“Nah, not yet. I’ll wait until I need something first.” I smacked his shoulder as I passed him to grab some food for the trip.
“Fucker.” He chuckled.
After I’d finished packing the car and grabbing enough snacks to get me most of the way, I placed the keys for my Monaro in Morgan’s hand. “Check on her every few days, won’t you?”
“I knew you couldn’t leave her completely alone.”
“And make sure the house doesn’t burn down or some shit, hey? Christina will still be coming by to clean up like normal, at least until Christmas, but there’s a house key on that key ring if you need to get in.” I might have trusted Christina, but I wasn’t a complete idiot to give free run of my house unchecked to someone I had effectively fired.
“Sure thing.”
“It also means you can let yourself out.”
“Anyone would think you’re in a hurry to go.”
“Hey, I got a hot woman with a wet and ready pussy waiting for me at the end of my trip. Who wouldn’t be eager to start?” I climbed in the car.
“Don’t let me stop you.”
“And you’re still okay, for that other thing?”
He flashed me an evil grin. “Looking forward to it. I’ll text you the details once I get them sorted.”
“Awesome. Catch you on the flip side.” I stuck my key in the ignition and started to reverse out before realising I’d forgotten the most important thing. Something I wanted to give Alyssa before we came back home. “Shit!”
I leapt from the car and raced into the house. Less than a minute later, I had what I needed and was back at the car.
“Is that what I think it is?” he asked. His eyes widened to the size of saucers as he glanced at the velvet box in my hand.
I lifted one shoulder in response. “You know me. Pussy-whipped. And what a fine fucking pussy it is.”
“Whatever, it’s your dick that’s going to suffer from disuse once you slip that ring on her finger.”
“You underestimate the quality of my dick.” I started the car.
“I really don’t want to think about your dick.”
“Sure you don’t. Now it’ll be all you can think of until I get back.”
I laughed as he flipped me the bird.
THE DRIVE up to Brisbane wasn’t as comfortable or as fast in my Prado as it had been in my Monaro. True, then I’d been driven by the ghosts of the past, whipping me into a frenzied state where I couldn’t stop unless I had to, and now it was just my own desire compelling me onward.
By the time I hit the Gold Coast, the sky was stained with pinks and purples. The big black clouds and increasing humidity hinted that a storm would roll in before long. I could only hope to make it to Alyssa’s before that happened.
As I continued north, the clouds overhead grew thicker and darker in the fading light of the day, casting an almost apocalyptic shadow over the world. When I turned onto the motorway just fifteen minutes later, the clouds had opened up. Even through the heavy rain on the roof, I could still hear the near-constant rumble of thunder. In the distance, lightning flashed, illuminating the area around me for fractions of a second at a time. It wasn’t the sort of weather that was good for driving. In fact, visibility was down to almost nothing, but that was typical of a November storm.
It slowed me down as I drove to match the conditions. All I wanted was to be back at Alyssa’s side. Between her telling me not to come and the weather delaying my arrival, it felt ominous.
I shoved aside the worry that it was a sign of things to come. Instead, I worked to convince myself that none of the shitty things really mattered. Alyssa’s family would either come around or they wouldn’t. The lingering threat of the paparazzi and gossip columns would ease if we didn’t give them anything to focus on.
Almost an hour later, long after I’d promised I would show, I pulled up in front of Alyssa’s house. After I’d stopped the car, I hid the ring box in the back of the glovebox, but left all my other bags where they were in the boot. Unpacking could wait until after I’d said hello.
Fuck, it could all wait until the morning if it needed to.
I practically ripped the door off its hinges to get to my family. The first breath I took outside the car was filled with the still air, heavy with the heat of the day trapped by the clouds overhead.
The rain had paused momentarily but was gearing up to fall again. Hopefully it would bring release from the cloying humidity.
Glancing through a small gap in the curtain, I saw Alyssa sitting on the end of the couch chewing on her thumbnail. I wondered if she knew I was there and was just restraining herself, or if she was still unaware of my arrival. As if feeling the weight of my stare, she glanced up and met my gaze. The grin that crossed her mouth was fucking worth every kilometre I’d driven.
She was at the door and pulling it open before I could knock. With a gentle tug on her arm, I pulled her outside for a moment of alone time. I didn’t even say hello before taking her face between my hands and guiding her lips to mine. The sheen of sweat that had burst across the back of my neck in the warmth didn’t deter her as she gripped my hair and pulled me close in response to my kiss. My lips melded with hers, and my eyes sank closed as I fell into her.
Knowing that there was someone else I needed to say hello to, someone who was likely needing to head to bed soon, I pulled away from Alyssa.
“Hi,” I murmured before resting my forehead on hers and planting one more open-mouthed kiss against her lips.
“I’m glad you ignored me when I said not to come.”
I slid one hand down to her arse and pulled her hips against mine. “I’ll be coming all right, and so will you, just as soon as Phoebe is asleep.”
She flushed red and gave me a playful shove, but the need in her gaze told me that it was a false protest.
“Speaking of . . . I should probably say hi to her too.”
“She doesn’t know you’re here yet.”
“Okay.” After one more kiss with Alyssa, I headed in through the open door.
Phoebe looked up as I came into view. Almost instantly, her gaze dropped back to the book in front of her, but then lifted to mine again.
“Daddy!” She squealed the word and the sound of it made my heart explode with joy.
I knelt down to her level and opened my arms for her. She was across the room and in my embrace in a heartbeat. The force of her flying-leap hug was almost enough to knock me on my arse.
“Hey, baby. I promised I’d come up as soon as I could, didn’t I?”
After she’d finished hugging me, she stepped back and fixed on a frown that could have melted even the coldest heart. “We should stay together.”
“We will, baby. I’m here until you guys are ready to move into my castle.”
“Good, ’cause Mummy is sad when you’re not here. And I don’t like it when Mummy’s sad.”
“I’ll let you in on a secret,” I said, moving closer to her ear while looking up at Alyssa. “I don’t either. Mummy has spent enough time being sad, hasn’t she? From now on, I only want to make her smile. And I want to make her laugh. Is that a deal?”
Phoebe nodded and then squeezed my neck again. “I liked it when Mummy laughs.”
“Me too, princess. Me too.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: FAILURE AND FATIGUE
THE FOLLOWING DAY Alyssa contacted Phoebe’s day care to give them notice that her last day would be the following Friday. Her name was already down on a waiting list at a couple of highly recommended centres in Sydney, but because I was in town until the move, Alyssa and I agreed to take her out of care. It had the double benefit of letting me spend some time with her while also saving Alyssa some money in the short term.
Because Phoebe was still booked in for care the next day, and Alyssa still had to work, I had some f
ree time. I spent the day alone reminiscing about our reunion as I followed the directions Alyssa had left, helping her to start sorting and packing one of the rooms.
Even though she said thank you at the end of the day, I was certain I’d fucked up more than I actually helped. Some of the stuff I’d packed in one of the boxes was discreetly rewrapped and moved into a different box. Regardless, it was all pushing us closer to the day when she’d be in my house.
Our house.
Each time I peeked out the window, the paparazzo was hanging around out front. At one point, he caught me looking and waved. I gave him the finger in return. Unfortunately for him, he was too busy gloating that he wasn’t quite quick enough to catch it on film.
Two days later, Alyssa and I were up to our elbows in boxes after Phoebe had gone to bed. While we were going over our plans and timeline again, she broke some slightly unwanted news to me.
“I’m not having the garage sale like we talked about,” she said over a pile of boxes in what was once Flynn’s room. Instead of the usual two piles—stuff coming with us and stuff going—she was creating three. The third was all the stuff to go back to him.
“Why not?”
“Because we’ve got another option now. A better one. Well, an easier one at least. We just need to hire a truck and take it over to Mum and Dad’s. Dad wants to put the stuff in storage.”
“Really? Why?”
She grimaced and looked away.
“Why?” I asked again, my tone making it clear that I wouldn’t take silence as an answer.
“Dad wants me to store everything. Just in case.”
“Just in case?”
“You know, just in case I need it again later.”
“Just in case I screw things up, you mean?”
She gave me a sad smile and a shrug.
“And you agreed to go along with it?” I stared at her impassive expression, which confirmed my words without any need to speak. “Because you think I’m going to screw things up too.”
She zipped the tape across the top of the box she was working on. “Dec, it’s . . . it’s not like that. Not really. I told you I trusted you, and I do. But Dad didn’t give me much choice.” When she looked up at me, her expression called to me, begging me to understand.
“Here I was thinking that we were past this bullshit, Lys.” I shoved the trinket I’d just finished wrapping in newspaper into the box a little harder than was probably advisable, but I couldn’t shake my irritation.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “We are. But Dad is going to buy the furniture for double the price I’d ask for it at the garage sale and then pay to store it. And we don’t have to put aside a whole day to have people rummaging through all my stuff. Plus, there’s no guarantee that what I have would even sell. With the cost of day care and the fact that I wouldn’t start work for a week after we get to Sydney, we need the money.”
Even though her words were meant to reassure me, all they did was dig the knife in further. Everyone thought I was going to fail her, and I already was because I couldn’t afford to tell Curtis to shove his offer up his arse. The fact was that the wage I would be bringing home would barely cover my mortgage payments and Alyssa’s would barely cover the day care and other expenses. That meant we’d need every extra cent we could get. I hated it. I’d failed them both before we’d even left Brisbane.
As the money issue swirled anew through me, it occurred to me that by taking the lower-paying job as an apprentice mechanic, I’d probably signed the sales notice on at least a couple of my precious cars that were stored in the back shed. My decent collection of classics, the one I’d added to over the years whenever a beauty I couldn’t resist came along, would soon be decimated. Between rego and insurance, it cost a significant sum each year to maintain them. I couldn’t even begin to consider which ones to get rid of first, though. That was like asking me which limb I wanted to lose the least.
I taped up the box I was filling, and noticed the writing on the outside— “going.”
Or fucking not, apparently.
With a growl, I shoved the box to the side and pushed myself up off the ground. Alyssa gave me a look that was halfway between a question and an apology. It made me feel worse. More than anything else, I just wanted to leave. I wanted to climb in the car and drive, but I had the wrong fucking car. I needed my Monaro or one of the classics in the back of my shed for thinking. Regardless, I left the room without another word.
My jaw was clenched tight so I didn’t let loose the stream of curses that was on the tip of my tongue. Alyssa didn’t deserve the harsh words, but they danced on my lips regardless. I didn’t stop until I’d found my way to the kitchen. With my fingers curled around the laminate of the counter, I leaned heavily against the bench, took a handful of breaths, and tried to force out my frustration without making any sound.
Alyssa followed me. “I worried you’d react like this.”
I twisted my head to cast her a look, but I couldn’t look at her for long without all the emotions bubbling in me again. “Like what, Lys? Like the fucking failure I am.”
She stepped back in shock. “Failure? What?”
“What else would you call it? You feel like you have to do a special deal with your father just to put food on the table. Six months ago, I had a contract worth more money than you could imagine, and now I’ve got Jack and Shit and even they’re thinking of leaving.”
“That’s not true, Dec.” She moved closer to me before running her fingers up along my spine. “You’ve got a house.”
“And the fucking mortgage to go with it.”
“You’ve got a job.”
“A low-paying, shitty job.”
“You don’t know that. You might love it.”
“You don’t get it, Lys. I’m the man. I’m supposed to provide for you guys, and I’m failing.”
She wrapped her arm around me and rested her head on my shoulder. “Says who?”
“What?”
“Who says you have to provide for us? Because you know what I think? I think that’s patriarchal bullshit.” She ducked under my arm and I moved back to allow her to come between me and the bench. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and she smiled the sweetest, most heartbreaking smile I’d ever seen her wear. “We need to provide for her. That’s what’s important. And in that respect, we’re not failing. She doesn’t need a fancy house, or a pile of expensive junk, she just needs our love. She needs food and clothes, and the rest doesn’t matter.”
“But what about—”
She placed her fingers over my lips. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll find a way. We’ll manage.”
Instead of responding with words, I moved my hands from the counter and wrapped them around her waist. “When did you get so wise?”
She flinched away from my words.
Fuck. My stomach twisted as I saw the flash of heartbreak over her face. What a stupid fucking question. She got wise when she fucking had to, arsehole.
With a deep breath, she wrapped her arms around me. She hadn’t slid the mask she sometimes wore back into place, which I was glad of. If I was being an arsehole, I wanted her to call me on it, not mask her feelings and pretend everything was okay.
“About Dad, I just thought it would be easier,” she said. “It’ll make him happy if he thinks I have a backup plan. It’s easier for us if he’s happy.”
“I don’t plan on fucking this up, Lys. You have to know that. I need you both too much.”
“I know, Dec.”
She’d stopped a panic spiral dead in its tracks with nothing more than her presence and a few key words. I didn’t think she fully appreciated that. But I wasn’t going to argue with her anymore. “C’mon, let’s give packing a rest for the night. I’ve got something I want to unwrap instead.” I grabbed her hips and lifted her legs around my waist and carried her to the bedroom.
AROUND SPENDING time with Phoebe and Alyssa, I managed to watch most of the Tasmanian race. Alyssa even sat
with me when Phoebe had her nap. Seeing Morgan rip up the track made me almost excited to be in the pits the next year. Almost.
“Are you looking forward to being there next year?” Alyssa asked as I shifted forward on the couch when Morgan went into the pits.
I shrugged. “It’s not exactly the dream. But it’s good enough for now.”
Not long after Sinclair Racing had won the event—and almost secured the championship—Morgan called my mobile.
“I’m all set for next weekend, and have sorted those things you wanted. Do you think you can arrange your part?” he asked after some preamble and my congratulations.
“I’m pretty sure it’ll be a cakewalk, but I’ll let you know if I’ve got any problems. Where are you going to be staying?”
“Edie’s booked a room for us at the Suncrest.”
Eden and her fucking Suncrest Hotel obsession. “Okay. Keep in touch, and I’ll let you know how I go.”
When I saw Alyssa coming closer, I ended the call.
“What are you planning?” she asked.
“Boys’ night with Morgan to celebrate his win.”
She rolled her eyes. “Ugh. I know he’s your friend and all, but I just don’t get the appeal.”
“He was looking out for me. We’ve both had to deal with crazed stalkers in the past, and he didn’t know the truth about us.” Even as I said the words I tensed, ready for the fight.
Right or wrong, she was still pissed about his interference with the email. It seemed unlikely that she’d ever find a way to get past it. On one hand, I could understand that it had hurt her. On the other though, I’d agreed to try when it came to her friend, and I didn’t see why she couldn’t extend me the same courtesy. It wasn’t like he knew our history and wanted to deliberately hurt her.
“That doesn’t change what he did.”
“No, it doesn’t, but I can’t turn my back on him for trying to help either. It doesn’t have to be a boys’ night,” I said, deciding to make a bluff and hope she didn’t call me on it. She couldn’t come because I didn’t want her involved in the plan for the moment. She might tell me not to do it. “We could leave Phoebe with your mum, or Ruby, and go to see him together.”
Decipher (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #3) Page 24