Dare had a sudden painful image of Andrea the way he’d seen her at chapel when she was all of what—thirteen? fourteen?—in that ridiculous, frilly dress. Had she been trying to please the father who could never be pleased? Had she given up finally, burying the hurt deep inside, and gone her own way, thinking she couldn’t please any man, that she was a failure as a woman?
He had no difficulty imagining Andrea even younger, five or six maybe, with her freckles and pert face, being hollered at because she was dirty, or because she’d been playing with the boys. Because she wasn’t Charlie Burke’s notion of a female.
“Andrea,” her name came out hoarsely, torn from some place deep inside him, “you won’t disappoint me.”
“You don’t know that, Dare.”
“Sure I do.” He tried to keep his tone light enough that she wouldn’t pull away from the depth of the feelings she’d just drawn out of him. Rolling onto his back, he pulled her with him so that she lay on top of him and hugged her so tightly she squeaked a protest. “You can make me mad,” he said, “and you can make me hurt, but you can’t ever disappoint me.”
Andrea told herself it was because she was so tired, but tears sprang to her eyes and dropped onto Dare’s chest.
“Andrea, honey, don’t cry. You’re worrying me.”
“I’m just tired,” she said, sniffling forlornly. “It’s one of those stupid female things I do sometimes.”
What could he say to that? Not knowing what else to do, he kissed her soundly.
“Now sleep, darlin’,” he said, once again tucking her securely into the curve of his large body. “I’ll wake you in time to get you back.”
Andrea woke at the first sound of Dare’s alarm clock in the morning. Still tucked against his shoulder and side, she waited while he cursed softly and felt around his night table. The buzzing stopped, and he relaxed back into the bed with a sigh.
“Andrea?” His voice was hushed. “Time to get you back.”
“What time is it?”
“Five.”
She snuggled closer. “How about a quickie, cowboy?”
“I was going to feed you breakfast.”
“I’ll eat at the O’-Club.”
“A quickie, huh?”
“Very quick,” she said, nuzzling his nipple. “I can’t believe I climbed into bed with you last night and slept. Not when all I’ve been able to think about all week…”
With a growling laugh he rolled over onto her. Moments later he was sheathed in her moist warmth. “That quick enough for you?”
Andrea rolled her hips suggestively. “Not quite, cowboy. You forgot the rest of it.”
“The rest of wha—” The words died in a groan as she tightened herself around him. “Now you’ve done it, woman,” he growled. “Now I’m going to—” He whispered the rest of the words into her ear, very earthy words. Andrea might have giggled except that he was doing exactly what he’d threatened, and it felt so damned good….
“You can talk dirty to me any time you want, sir,” Andrea told him breathlessly a few minutes later. “Just as long as you follow through.”
Dare was still chuckling when he drove her back to the BOQ.
Nickerson knocked on her office door almost before she settled into the chair behind her desk.
“Oh hell, what now?” she asked on a sigh as she watched him close the door and come to stand in front of her.
“The fire marshal called me at three this morning, ma’am. I thought you’d want to know what he said.”
Andrea was silent, thinking the only thing she really wanted to do was curl up in some cozy corner and enjoy the glow Dare had left her with. He always left her feeling good, she realized with a dawning sense of wonder. He always made her feel good about herself.
“Ma’am?”
Nickerson’s voice called her back to the present with a thud.
“Sorry,” she said. “I guess I’m not really awake yet.” Looking up at Nick, it suddenly dawned on her that he had probably tried to raise her as soon as the fire marshal called him, but she’d left her radio on her desk because Dolan had taken the command, and she hadn’t been in the BOQ to answer her phone. Her cheeks began to heat, and the oddly wooden expression on Nickerson’s face didn’t help.
“What did the fire marshal say?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t notice her rising color.
“The fire was definitely arson, Captain. Merle says it was started by a homemade electronic fire starter that was hidden behind the instrument panel in the cockpit. He also said that whoever built and hid the ignition device has a fairly sophisticated knowledge of electronics.”
“You could say that about half the airmen on this base, Nick. This is the high tech Air Force, remember? Anything else?”
Nick shook his head. “That’s the big development. Not real helpful.”
“I’m beginning to think this is one case where we’ll have to make our own breaks.”
“Ma’am?”
Andrea waved her hand dismissingly. “Just thinking aloud, Nick. Never mind.”
When Nick had gone, she found her thoughts straying away from business again and back to Dare and the warm glow he’d left her with. Maybe she was in love with him.
The thought trickled into her mind almost casually, forming fully before it really registered. When it did, shock caused her heart to slam. Love? Why that, of all things? In all her planning and dreaming for her future, that was one contingency she’d never considered, one possibility she’d never reckoned on. She didn’t want to be in love, for crying out loud! But the more the word turned in her mind, the more realistic it sounded.
If she was in love with Dare now, then she had certainly been in love with him even before Christmas. Maybe, she thought with a reluctant smile, ever since the moment he’d come marching up to her at gunpoint the night her cops had brought him in for loitering near the weapons depot. Maybe since the moment he’d told her that he would be grateful if she wouldn’t go around addressing people as “cowboy.” Certainly at least since he kissed her at Thanksgiving, because after that he’d begun to seriously preoccupy her thoughts.
And what difference did it make exactly when it had happened? There was a deep certainty in her that it had, happened and for the worst possible person at the worst possible time. Her departure for Minot had been looming unpleasantly for some time, but now it yawned before her like a step into a black pit. She didn’t want to give up her career, and she wasn’t certain any longer that she could give up Dare.
What now?
Dare spent the day in a considerably more optimistic frame of mind. SAC might be breathing down his neck for a resolution to the problem, OSI might be crawling into every nook and cranny on the base, but his night with Andrea had persuaded him that he was winning on that front. She had finally confided her fears to him, a sign of trust he valued fully. She’d wept in his arms, slept in his arms, and played this morning with a blossoming confidence in her womanhood. What more could he ask?
A commitment. The word nearly made him break into a cold sweat, and his confidence took a sharp dip. She’d certainly given him no indication that she no longer considered their relationship temporary. For all he knew, she was still planning to leave for Minot free as a bird and without a backward glance. How could he possibly persuade her that he was capable of giving her the freedom she needed for her career while nailing her down to permanence in a relationship?
Because he wanted that kind of permanence. All his life long he’d wanted it, except for a brief spell after his first marriage. He could have had it a half-dozen times over, too, except that he was particular about things like companionship and friendship. And love? If the day ever came when he was sitting in a rocker and leaning on a cane, he wanted to be with someone he liked, not someone he tolerated. And, by God, he liked Andrea. There wasn’t a shadow of a doubt in his mind that she would still be zinging him when he was ninety.
It was too soon, he decided with a sigh, to press for a
commitment from her. For now he’d better stick with persuading her to let him visit her out in Minot on weekends. Then, when she saw he was willing to commute any distance to be with her, maybe she would consider more. Maybe all she needed to know was that they could make it work whatever the difficulties.
With that thought, he felt a resurgence of optimism, and he was still feeling pretty good when he closed up his office and headed over to the Security Squadron. It was the weekend at last.
“Hi,” Andrea said with a shy smile when Dare appeared in her doorway.
“Hi,” he replied, stepping inside and closing the door. “It’s Friday.” Why did she look so shy? he wondered. What had happened?
“So it is,” she agreed. “What are your plans?”
“Our plans,” he corrected gently. “How about options, instead? There are a number of places we can go.”
She bit her lower lip, lifting her eyes hesitantly to his. “Would you—would you mind very much if we didn’t go anywhere?”
Dare wouldn’t have believed he could plunge so far so fast. “What’s wrong?” His tone was sharper than he intended, and he regretted it instantly when he saw her head snap up and her chin thrust out.
“Nothing’s wrong, sir,” she replied coolly.
Dare started backpedaling immediately. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, Andrea. It’s been a long week. Has something come up?”
Little by little her chin softened and the flare in her green eyes died. “I just don’t want to be out of touch this weekend. I need to be accessible if something happens.”
Well, he thought, here’s your chance to prove you can let her career come first. It didn’t thrill him. “All right. Maybe we can squeeze in a little time together.”
Andrea gnawed her lip and darted a couple of uncertain looks at him.
“Andrea, is something wrong?”
Only that he hadn’t even argued with her, she thought miserably. Her feelings were so new, so fragile and so frightening, that she needed the reassurance of knowing they were returned, at least a little.
“Actually,” she said after a moment, then cleared her suddenly dry throat, “actually, I thought maybe—if it wouldn’t be too much trouble—that I could—that is—”
Dare couldn’t stand it another minute. His hopes for the weekend were dashed, and now Andrea was acting like she was afraid of him. Damning the consequences, he rounded her desk, pulled her up from her chair, and kissed her soundly. When he lifted his head, her green eyes looked glazed.
“Spit it out, Andrea,” he coaxed. “If what isn’t too much trouble?”
“Can I stay with you this weekend?” The words came out in a breathless sigh.
He couldn’t help it. He kissed her again, then tucked her head against his shoulder. “You can stay with me any weekend, every weekend, and every night in between if you want, honey. You don’t even have to ask. But someone might find out. I thought that bothered you.”
“Nobody will know.” She lifted her head and looked up at him with eyes so soft that Dare felt his heart turn into instant mush. “I just have to be reachable by radio.”
“Done.” He brushed a stray tendril of strawberry blond hair back from her forehead. “Do you want to come with me now?”
“I need to pack an overnight bag first. I’ll walk over later.”
“Andrea, sweetheart, it’s twenty-three below outside.”
A smile rose from her lips to touch her eyes. “That’s okay. I’ve got the gear for it. Besides, nobody will ever recognize me all bundled up like an Eskimo.”
Dare shook his head. “Uh-uh. I’ll pick you up in front of the base library at seven. You’re not going to walk more than half a block in this.”
She tilted her head. “If you’re going to come out anyway, then you might as well pick me up in front of the BOQ.”
“Aren’t you worried there might be gossip?”
Andrea shrugged. “Let ’em talk. I’m leaving in just over a week.”
A cold fist clenched Dare’s heart. She sounded so damn cool that it hurt. “Yeah,” was the only reply he could manage. “Yeah.”
Chapter 13
Dare’s romantic streak showed that evening. While a polar air mass moved in, sending the temperature ever lower and obscuring the world with blowing snow, he and Andrea ate by candlelight in his dining el. Afterward he put a tape on the stereo, and the sadly haunting strains of “The Tennessee Waltz” filled the room.
“Dance with me, Andrea.”
“I can’t dance,” she protested, feeling shy again.
“It doesn’t matter,” he coaxed, his blue eyes as warm as the candle flames. “Just lean on me.”
She ought to be wearing some beautiful gauzy creation, Andrea thought, not jeans and a sweater, but it ceased to matter the instant she stepped into his arms. She felt as if she were floating, and as she relaxed it became easier to follow Dare’s slow movements. Before long they were waltzing slowly around the room.
With a deep sigh, Andrea rested her head on his chest and gave herself up to all the good feelings. Through the soft wool beneath her cheek she could hear the steady beat of his heart, and she was surrounded by the soapy, musky scent that was particularly his. He felt so strong and solid against her, made her feel so secure and cherished when he held her. It was going to hurt badly when she left next week. She sighed again.
“That sounded sad.” Dare’s voice rumbled deep in his chest.
“I guess it was, a little.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
Tell me it won’t be all over in twelve days, Andrea thought. “Not really,” she said.
Bending, he pressed his face to the top of her head. “Just let it all go, Andrea,” he murmured. “Don’t think, don’t worry. Just be.”
It was a tempting invitation, and Andrea tilted her head back, seeking his mouth with hers. Finding it, she kissed him with every bit of longing in her heart, pressing closer to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.
Dare felt her desperation and wondered at it. Her kiss, however, was evoking thunder in his blood, and he didn’t feel like thinking right now. Reaching down, he cupped her delightful derriere and drew her snugly up against him. Slipping his leg between hers, he pressed against her and felt her thighs tighten around him.
Andrea leaned back a little and smiled hazily at him. “You always manage to teach me something new.”
He flexed his thigh again and smiled when she drew a deep breath. “I like dancing with you, Captain.”
“Is that what this is? Dancing?”
Dare tightened his grip on her, rocking her suggestively against his leg. “Maybe it’s flying,” he said. “It sure feels every bit as good.”
Andrea buried her face against his sweater. “Maybe we should go fly in the bedroom, Colonel.”
“Not yet.” He drew his leg from between hers and began again to move in time to the music. “Right now, Captain, I just want to enjoy holding you and dancing with you. We’ve got all weekend.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I don’t get to hold you enough, Andrea. I don’t get to be with you enough.”
He expected her to stiffen, to withdraw in that subtle way she had when she was uncomfortable. Instead she seemed to soften even more against him, and Dare began to really relax.
“I remember you at Mather,” he told her. “I used to see you in chapel. You had a pink dress with flounces and ruffles all over it.”
Andrea groaned. “I hated that dress. I hoped there wasn’t a living soul who noticed me in it.”
“Why’d you wear it?”
“My father made me. He told my mother to get me something feminine to wear to chapel so I wouldn’t embarrass him. My mother had terrible taste.”
“Maybe she just knew what your father considered feminine.”
“That’s entirely possible. It used to drive me crazy, the way she always buckled under and let him dictate everything.”
“You’re ce
rtainly not the type to let anyone do that.”
She looked up at him, a teasing glint in her eye. “And here I thought I was the model of an obedient subordinate officer.”
“You’ve never been insubordinate, Captain. You have other methods.”
She dropped one of her hands from his neck and slipped it up under his sweater, finding the soft mat of hair on his chest. There was no way, she realized, that she would ever get her fill of touching him.
“Are you into my chest hair again, Captain Burke?”
“Yes, sir.” She curled her fingers, giving it a playful tug. “I don’t suppose I can persuade the Colonel to ditch his sweater?”
“What’s wrong with my sweater?”
“It’s in my way.”
So he ditched it, and while he was at it, he ditched hers, as well. And he discovered that Andrea could still blush when he looked at her.
“Save the blushes for when I remove your bra, Captain.”
She looked at him from beneath lowered lashes. “And when are you going to get around to that, sir?”
“Soon, Captain. Very soon.”
But he continued to dance with her, holding her close and stroking her back from neck to hip. Andrea pressed her cheek to his chest and closed her eyes.
“Tell me about where you grew up,” she said.
“My dad has a ranch near Kalispell, Montana. A few years back I bought some acreage farther west, closer to the mountains. When I retire, I hope I can spend more time there.”
“You want to ranch?”
“No.” He kissed her temple and cuddled her ever closer. “I just want to spend a little more time enjoying life. I see it more as a vacation place.”
“What’ll you do with the rest of your time?”
That’ll depend on you, he thought. “There’s always a market for retired generals,” he said. “I’ll see what develops.”
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