by Lena Hart
She was finally free of him. He’d said he wouldn’t return to prison and he had fulfilled that promise. She’d never have to face him again. She’d never have to testify, to recount everything that had happened that night in the apartment, or that night, long ago, when he’d sent the car careening over the rail.
He was gone.
It was over.
Chapter Eighteen
Three weeks later…
Judith’s sharp cry pulled Carlos from his sleep.
She pushed at his chest and cried out again. He stared down at her, the low distressed sound tugging at his heart. He turned on the bedside lamp. The light usually helped to calm her when she woke.
“Judith, baby.” He kept his tone low. “Wake up.”
Her eyes flew open then widened as they focused on him.
“It’s just a dream, muñeca.”
She lay rigid beside him, her eyes haunted. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“Don’t be. You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
It’d been weeks since the incident with Tate and even after his death, she had been plagued with these occasional nightmares. They didn’t come often, but when they did, they were enough to bother her—and worry him.
He laced his fingers through hers and brought them to his lips. “What were you dreaming about?”
She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes.
“Tell me, baby.”
She stared at him silently for a moment. After a while, she smiled softly. “I was dreaming about us,” she murmured. “At the ranch house, eating chocolate, and drinking apple cider. And this time my chicken tamale casserole was perfect.”
His lips quirked at the image. He needed to tell her one of these days how much he hated chicken tamale casserole but not tonight. Tonight, he wanted to slay whatever demons still lingered in her mind and haunted her dreams. He wanted her to share it with him so that he could carry some of her pain and stress, but she clearly just wanted to forget so he would let her. For now.
“Were we naked?”
She laid her hand on his cheek and slowly ran her fingers along the trim hairs on his jaw. “Yes. Very. In the big bathtub at the back of the house. There were red rose petals scattered everywhere. And about three big candles.”
He lazily rubbed his hand down her back. “Only three?” he teased.
She smiled softly. “Okay, maybe six.”
They fell silent for a moment, both wide awake. He was glad that her happy memories included him, but nights like this, he didn’t know what to do to take away the darker ones that still plagued her.
He felt helpless and he hated that. Hated it as much as he did the panic that filled him every time he thought of her and the baby.
Though their baby growing inside her thrilled him like nothing he’d ever experienced, Carlos couldn’t pretend that the risks she was taking in carrying their baby didn’t exist. So far, she and the baby continued to do quite well, but he still found it difficult to share in her blind faith and optimism that everything would be okay.
He was terrified. For her. For their baby.
He, however, didn’t let her see it. At least he tried not to. He wanted to shield her from any worry or doubt that may come from his fears. He needed to shoulder the burden alone and be strong for her.
Like she was doing now.
Carlos froze as it dawned on him that was what she had been doing. Trying to shield him from her pain and fear so that he wouldn’t lose it. They hadn’t spoken about Tate since they’d received news of his death. While Carlos was content to imagine the bastard forever roasting in hell, Judith still struggled to put it all behind her. Something she was trying to do alone.
If Carlos wanted her to be vulnerable with him, to share her pain and fears with him, he had to stop keeping his own from her. No matter how much he wanted to shield her from any more hurt, he had to trust that they would be stronger without any more barriers between them.
“I asked Tristan to find your birth parents,” he said quietly, still rubbing her back. The silence that followed was so long he almost wondered if she had fallen asleep again.
“Did he?” she finally asked. There was a certain alertness, a hopefulness, in her tone that tore at him.
“Yes,” he admitted. He tried to put the words in a way that wouldn’t sound harsh. But in the end, there was no perfect way to tell her. “They’re both deceased.” She stiffened against him. “Your father died a long time ago, a few months before you were born. And your birth mother passed a few years ago.”
She was as still and silent as stone. Carlos tightened his arms around her.
“I have the file if you ever want to know more about them. I wasn’t planning to tell you, at least not tonight, but I didn’t want to keep something that important from you.”
She nodded but said nothing for a while before she finally confessed, “I think I wanted to find them just to ask why. Why didn’t they want me?”
He’d once asked the same question of his own father, a man who’d abandoned him and his mother before he could even speak and her words tugged at a deep feeling he’d long since learned to let go.
“I can’t imagine getting rid of our baby,” she continued, “and a part of me hopes that it had been hard for my birth mother to give me up.” She ran her fingers along his chest, absently tracing the outline of his tattoo. “But I’m starting to realize that it doesn’t matter. Not really. I was fortunate enough to have been adopted by my mom. We were a family of two, but she was always there for me.”
Carlos placed his hand over hers and squeezed it. “And now you have me and my family. Don’t ever forget that.” His aunt and uncle always made him feel as one of their own and he wanted Judith to know that she never had to feel alone or unwanted again.
She took his hand and placed it over her middle. “And soon, we’ll have our own.”
He gently rubbed her belly, fierce love and possessiveness once again assailing him every time he touched her there. He looked into her eyes when he finally confessed, “I’m scared. For you, for the baby.”
It hadn’t been that long ago that he’d tried to convince her that fear wasn’t a sign of weakness, yet he’d worried that the words would take away from his manhood. But they didn’t. Every night he told her he loved her. And by sharing some of his fears with her, by allowing himself to be this vulnerable, he hoped he was showing her how much.
Her brows pulled together and she tightened her hands over his. “I know,” she whispered. “I’m scared too, but my heart tells me everything will be fine. We’ll both be fine. I know it and I’ll make sure of it.”
He knew she would. She followed everything her doctor told her and was taking it easy as they’d ordered.
“There are nights that I dream about holding our baby,” she added, staring at his chest. “We’re both together in bed, looking down at her while she sleeps in my arms. I can’t quite make out what she looks like, but in the dreams, I know it’s a girl and she’s beautiful. She’s perfect.”
Carlos blinked, his throat tightening from the powerful emotion her words brought up. He could picture it clearly, a baby girl with tiny dimples, that was a blend of them both. It rendered him speechless.
After some time, she spoke again. “But there are nights when I dream of Ken and in those dreams he’s taking me away from you and the baby, and I’m alone again. With him.”
His arms tightened around her. “No one is taking you from me,” he murmured. “He’s gone now and you don’t have to be scared anymore.”
Carlos couldn’t keep the hard edge from his voice. He still remembered her pain and shame when she told him about her past. Still remembered the terror in her from that night in her apartment. And the blood on her face… He closed his eyes, trying to rid himself of the images, but those were memories that would probably never leave him.
“I know I shouldn’t be relieved anyone is dead, but I am,” she said quietly. “I’m glad he’s
dead.”
Carlos said nothing, not knowing how to respond to that. He felt the same way, but he would neither encourage nor reproach her for it. Those were her honest feelings and he was just glad she was comfortable enough to share them freely with him. She was opening herself to him again and that was all he cared about.
She and their baby were now part of his present and his future.
He leaned back and tilted her chin until her gaze met his. “I love you, Judith. And I want you to marry me.”
She glanced away but he understood. He told her he loved her every night and only recently, she’d been able to return the words. But the damage Kenneth Tate had done wouldn’t be fixed overnight. She had been engaged when she’d endured much of her abuse and Carlos didn’t want her to associate their union with what she’d experienced from that bastard’s hands.
“I know you’ve been through a lot, but I want you to be my wife, not my baby’s mama or my girlfriend. I want you and our baby to share my name.”
She stared up at him searchingly. “Carlos, you know I love you and I’m happy with the way things are now. We don’t need to be married to be a family.”
Keeping his movements slow and deliberate, he leaned down and kissed her brow, then the tip of her nose before he moved to the underside of her jaw.
“I’m not asking you to marry me, muñeca, because ‘no’ is not an option.” He traced his finger along her lower lip. “Anything worth having is worth waiting for, right? So I’ll wait. However long it takes, I’ll wait. And when you’re ready to become my wife, I’ll be here.”
Her lips trembled, but she smiled at him through unshed tears. Before they could fall, he brought his lips down to hers and kissed her—kissed her with all the affection and tenderness he held for her, until there was only lightness and love that filled her memories.
Epilogue
“Are you ready yet?”
“Yes!”
Carlos came up behind her and gently wrapped his arm around her middle.
“No you’re not.”
She caught his eyes from the reflection in the large bathroom mirror as she slid on her earrings. “Okay, I’m almost ready,” she clarified, flashing him a quick smile.
He grinned and moved his palm on her lower belly, pressing the soft chiffon dress against her small bump. “How’s my baby doing?”
She placed her hand over his and leaned against him. “Fine.”
“Yes, you are,” he said, a wicked gleam in his eye. He placed a quick kiss on the side of her neck. “And how’s my other baby doing?”
Judith shook her head, but couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her. “She’s also fine.”
They stared at each other for a moment in the mirror as he gently massaged her slightly protruding stomach. They didn’t know if they were having a girl or a boy, but it became a habit for them to refer to their growing baby as she.
Judith had purposely chosen the red, floor length A-line gown, knowing it would conceal their growing baby. According to her doctor, she wasn’t out of the woods yet so she and Carlos wanted to wait another month or so before they made a larger announcement.
“We don’t have to go,” Carlos offered.
She patted his hand. “I know, but I want to. Besides, you still work for him and I can’t hide from the man forever.”
Carlos’ worry for her having to face David Carrone again was touching, but she had to remind him that it was unnecessary. Coming back to the casino resort had been a long time coming. Three months, in fact. And from the charity dinner invitation David extended to her and Carlos, he obviously wasn’t holding what she’d done to his company against her. Apparently he’d understood her situation and focused his efforts on the blackmailer instead of her. But Judith couldn’t continue to hide behind her excuses of fear and blackmail. Tonight, she would get a chance to face David Carrone and apologize for her actions.
“Okay,” Carlos said, looking at her intently. “But the minute you start feeling tired, you let me know.”
She nodded to ease his worry, but that wasn’t going to happen. Though she hadn’t seen the project through completion, being able to see the end result of the new Queen’s Palace made her a little giddy with excitement. But the past few months, Carlos had been overly worried about her and the baby, and to alleviate some of her “exertions”, he’d reserved a room for them at the resort so she would have a place to prepare before the gala and to rest after.
Judith was going on faith, and a fierce intuition, that she and their baby would be just fine. However, her constant reassurance that she felt great didn’t stop Carlos from asking her every chance he got. He was more anxious than she was about the pregnancy and she wished she could do something to ease his worry.
She understood his concern, however. The doctors had warned her that she would lose their baby within her first trimester, but she hadn’t. The doctors’ many warnings had created an overprotection and panic in her, Carlos, and the immediate family who knew about her pregnancy. But the procedure to close her cervix had been completed without any complications and their baby grew safely inside her. She felt better, and stronger, than she had in a long time.
She turned in Carlos’ arms and gave him a quick hug, then helped him fasten the small gold and ruby red cufflinks Gil had given him, which he’d given to Carlos for “encouragement.”
Once Judith finished securing them to the cuffs of his black dress shirt, she stepped back and admired him as he slipped on his charcoal gray suit jacket. He wore a matching vest underneath with a black tie that blended well with his dark shirt. He looked beautiful—the embodiment of style and sophistication—and he was all hers.
“You know, if being sexy were a crime,” she began, trying to contain her grin, “I’d lock you up and throw away the key.”
He laughed, his eyes taking on that familiar glint. “We’re locked in here now,” he said, resting a hand lightly on her waist. “Why don’t we make the most of it?”
She smiled at that. She had recently been cleared to have sex, and though they were still as hot for each other as before, he held himself back for fear of hurting her. And she was starting to miss the passionate beast that lay dormant inside him.
“Well,” she drawled, placing a hand on his chest, “if we had the time…”
His eyes flashed brilliantly. “Oh, we have the time.”
She ran her fingers down his lapels. “Hmm, but do you have the energy?”
His eyes widened, then he laughed again. She liked to play their silly game of who could come up with the silliest pickup line. The fun part for her was the delight in his eyes when she managed to one-up him. Seeing him happy made her happy.
It hadn’t been overnight, but she had finally found peace. There was an inner joy in her that was flourishing—a joy she hadn’t felt in a long time, but had managed to attain these past few months. Though part of it had come from knowing Ken was permanently out of her life, a bigger part of her newfound serenity came from having Carlos in her life, and having his unconditional love.
He had brought back joy and love into her life—sharing his family with her and giving her the chance to start one of her own. She loved him for everything he was and for all that he’d given her.
She’d planned to wait until after the gala to ask him, but suddenly she wanted him to know how much he meant to her.
Reaching for his hand, she clasped it in hers and held it tight. She ignored his questioning gaze and blurted out what was in her heart.
“I love you, Carlos.”
His eyes darkened. He lifted her hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. “And you know how much I love you.”
“I know,” she said. “But I want you to know how much you mean to me, how important you are to me. The moment you came into my life, I started to really smile again, and laugh.” She let out a nervous giggle. “I tried hard to protect it, but you still came and stole my heart. And I’m so glad you did because I know now what
I would have been missing.” A small quiver invaded her voice on her last words but she couldn’t help it. “I love you, Carlos Moreno. Will you marry me?”
Something fierce yet warm flashed in his dark eyes. It was filled with a love so intense, she reveled in it.
“That’s my line,” he growled playfully, then pulled her into his arms for a slow, tender kiss.
They pulled apart, breathing raggedly and grinning at each other like besotted fools. She ran her thumb over his lower lip, removing the faint smear of her red lipstick.
Taking her hand in his, he lifted it, palm open, and ran it over his chest. “Feel that, muñeca? Do you know what material this is?”
She bit her lip. “Let me guess,” she said, smoothing her hand over his chest. “Husband material?”
“Damn right.” His dark eyes flashed with love and amusement before he swept her in his arms for another kiss—one that literally stole her breath.
♥
THE END
FROM THE AUTHOR
Dear reader:
Judith and Carlos’ story has been a roller-coaster ride for me and I truly hope you enjoyed all the highs and lows as much as I did! Please check out the Bonus Features at the end of this story for a peek at one of the deleted scenes and a recipe for chicken tamale casserole.
And be sure to continue the saga!
Who is Rachelle Silva? Find out in His Diamond Queen—the fourth and final story in the Queen Quartette series.
Best,
Lena ♥
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