by Diana Palmer
“You wanted me to leave.”
He let out an angry breath. “All right, maybe I did,” he said shortly. “There are so many obstacles….”
“Yes, there are,” she agreed at once. “Missy’s just your style, uncomplicated and sweet. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together.”
“As happy as you’ll be with your boss?” he asked harshly.
She turned at the door. “Mr. Cranson is in love with someone else,” she said. “I like him very much, but I’m not romantically involved with him.”
He was surprised at her lack of guile. “You seemed affectionate with him.”
“I like him,” she repeated. “I don’t like you,” she added with a venomous look. “Not one bit.”
“I could work on that, if you’d let me,” he replied.
She avoided his eyes. “You don’t want me here,” she said perceptively, bringing a fleeting surprised look to his features. “Maybe you were flattered by what I told you, about the way I used to feel toward you, but you don’t want me here and it shows. You needn’t feel guilty on my account, because of an old crush that I’m over. You don’t owe me anything.”
He scowled faintly.
“For God’s sake, you don’t even like me,” she said heavily. “You never have. You said you knew why I went away to work. That explains it all, doesn’t it?”
“You were seventeen,” he recalled, “when you went to college. I knew it was to get away from me. I just didn’t know exactly why.”
“You were dating Liz Mason,” she replied sadly. “We all thought you’d probably marry her.” She moved one shoulder. “I wasn’t pretty like Liz, and I couldn’t talk cattle. It was no surprise to me that I rubbed you the wrong way. You picked at me all the time. I left because it hurt too much to be around you.”
“It wasn’t because I didn’t like you,” he returned.
She managed a smile. “I understand that now,” she said with what dignity she could muster. “You wanted me, didn’t you?”
He nodded, a curt, angry nod of his head.
“And you still do,” she said with gathering misery. “Maybe I should be flattered, but I’m not. Bodies are cheap, a dime a dozen.”
“The sort of chemistry we have together isn’t all that usual,” he remarked. “In fact, it’s quite rare.”
“I want more than a few nights in bed with a man who has nothing but desire to offer,” she said honestly. “That’s why I’ve never been a rounder. I’m much too serious for lighthearted affairs.”
His chin lifted and he didn’t even blink. The intensity of his gaze made her heart race. “I could take you to bed anytime I liked,” he said quietly. “That was true when you were seventeen and it’s true now. I’ve always known it.”
She flushed. “You arrogant…!”
“Oh, hell, don’t fidget,” he muttered. He stuck his hands into his pockets. “I haven’t done anything about it. And if I’ve antagonized you, it was for your own protection. Just how much will-power do you think I’ve got? If you’d ever thrown yourself at me, neither of us would have had a prayer.”
She stiffened. “I don’t throw myself at men.”
“Good thing,” he replied. “Otherwise, you’d have found yourself standing in front of the nearest minister I could produce. I don’t play around with women who don’t know the score.”
“I’m not some ignorant schoolgirl!”
He drew in a long breath. “I know exactly what you are, Sandy,” he said quietly. “It hasn’t made things easier.” He searched her face. “If you’re determined to leave, I won’t try to stop you. Maybe you’re right. We’d both have a lot of adjusting to do. I don’t know if you could really settle for a middle-class life, and I’m not the sort to give up my job and live on my wife’s income.”
“I don’t want to get married,” she said through her teeth.
He saw through the pretense, but he didn’t say anything. “Have a safe trip,” he remarked, and turned away.
Sandy watched him walk off, her heart down around her ankles. She didn’t know what he really wanted, and he wasn’t going to tell her. As usual, he was going to force her to read his mind.
“I hate men,” she muttered to herself.
She climbed into the car, started it and drove away. All the way to Victoria, she kept the radio playing as loud as she could stand it, just to stop the thoughts that plagued her. She shouldn’t have left, she should have stayed and let things take their course. But she was afraid of being hurt. Jobe couldn’t guarantee her that they’d find anything more than desire in each other’s arms, and desire wasn’t enough.
But she’d never know what he was offering. She’d been too afraid to risk her heart with him. Now she was going to pay the price.
* * *
Pay it she did, for two solid miserable weeks, trying desperately to put Jobe to the back of her mind. But he wouldn’t stay there. He kept popping up all the time, especially in conversations with Coreen.
“He won’t even talk to Missy lately,” Coreen mused over the phone. “He’s so morose that one of the men asked if he’d had a relative die or something. It’s strange, you know, for Jobe to be anything but pleasant and easygoing.”
“Maybe he had bad news,” Sandy said stiffly.
“Oh, no, it’s not that. He’s been this way since you left.”
Sandy’s heart jumped. “Pull the other leg.”
“I’m not kidding,” Coreen told her. “He misses you.”
She didn’t say a word. After a minute, she changed the subject and Coreen didn’t say anything else about the ranch foreman.
But two days later, Ted called.
“We’ve run into a snag with the computer,” he told Sandy. “The files won’t come up, and I have to have them for a production sale. Can you come down and have a look?”
“Okay. I’ll be home first thing tomorrow.”
“Good girl!”
He hung up and she considered the workings of providence. Fate was taking a hand. She wondered what would be waiting for her in Jacobsville.
She packed her case and left early the next morning, refusing to admit to herself how much she’d missed Jobe, how much she cared for him.
He wasn’t in the office when she went to have a look at the computer, but Ted was.
He glowered. “I never did trust the damned things,” he muttered while Sandy checked files on the hard drive. “Now see what it’s done, it’s eaten my damned herd records!”
“It hasn’t,” Sandy replied. “They’ve been erased, but I can recover them. Just stop cursing and give me a little time to do it.”
He made a rough sound. “Are you sure you can?”
“Yes.” She ran through the files. “How did it happen?”
“Missy was upset and hit the wrong keys, or so Jobe said.”
She looked at her brother curiously. “What upset her?”
“I don’t know,” he replied dryly, “but I think it was because Jobe didn’t want to go with her to some party in town. She bought a new dress just for the occasion.”
“Why didn’t he want to go?”
“Ask him.” He perched himself against the desk. “He’s been hell to talk to lately. He snaps, no matter what you say to him. Irritable as all hell, since you left that day. Odd, isn’t it?” he added with a cool smile and narrow, intent eyes.
Sandy colored in spite of herself. “We both agreed that we’re better off with the status quo.”
“In other words, you’re too scared to take a chance on him, is that right?”
She stopped working with the computer and whirled around in her chair. “We’re both scared,” she replied. “He doesn’t think I can settle for a middle-class life, and I don’t think he’s capable of any feelings that aren’t physical. Does that put things into perspective for you?”
Ted chuckled. “I thought it was something of the sort.” He folded his arms across his chest. “But sometimes you have to take a chance,” he add
ed gently.
“You’d know,” she replied, remembering how hard he’d fought Coreen’s influence. Her eyes softened. “I guess you and Coreen had to make adjustments when you decided to get married.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” he replied, tongue-in-cheek. “We were explosive together. Well, we still are, but not quite in the same way.”
“I get your meaning.” She studied her hands folded neatly in her lap. “I ran.”
“I know.”
She shifted in the chair and crossed her long legs. “Actually, I think he ran, too. We’ve spent a long time at each other’s throats. It’s hard to make peace.”
“Especially the sort of peace he wants to make?” Ted probed gently.
She flushed. “Yes.”
He took a long breath. “Honey, I can’t tell you what to do with your life. I can’t promise you that things would work out if you and Jobe put your differences aside. But I’ve been alone and I’ve been married. Believe me, married is better.”
“I don’t think he wants marriage.”
His face hardened. “He’d better.”
“Now, Ted, don’t start playing big brother.”
“Don’t you start with lectures on modern morality, either,” he snapped back. “This is a small town in Texas.”
“And you’re going to tell me that women don’t live with men if they aren’t married and that all kids are born in wedlock here.”
He made a face. “Of course not. But you’re family.”
“Yes, I am. I think you’re terrific, in case I haven’t said so,” she murmured. “But I’ll live my own life, whether you like it or not.”
He glared at her.
She shrugged. “Actually I’m not much on loose relationships, either, which is why I ran. Jobe isn’t a marrying man.”
“All men are, with the right woman,” Ted replied.
“I thought Missy was the right woman.”
His eyebrow jerked. “You wouldn’t think so if you’d seen her light out of here yesterday, madder than a wet hornet.”
“Everybody argues. Usually they make up.”
“Why don’t you?” Ted returned.
She studied her hands again. “He isn’t around.”
“Yes, he is.”
A soft sound in the hall caught her attention. She turned just as Jobe came in the door. But not the man of her memories. This one was cold-faced and looked as hard as steel. He barely nodded at her before he turned to Ted.
“We’ve got six horses in the road. The fence broke out on Jasper Road.”
“How?” Ted asked, all business as he stood up.
“A truck had a flat going the speed limit and ran through it. I’ve got men out looking for them.”
“I’ll go and help. Sandy says she can get the files back for you,” he added, nodding toward Sandy. “You can help her while I see about my horses.”
He left, and Jobe cursed under his breath.
“I don’t like it any better than you do,” Sandy said with a speaking glance in his direction. “But we seem to be stuck here together.”
He paused by her chair, watching her fingers race across the keys. “What are you doing?” he asked, diverted.
“I’m using a program to recover files. If you wipe something out accidentally, most of the time you can get it back if you know how.” She went on to explain about temporary files and the manner of their storage, and the use of the recovery program.
“That’s incredible,” he said.
“Yes, isn’t it?” She smiled. “I grew up watching ‘Star Trek’ reruns. I wanted to be a computer expert, just like Mr. Spock.”
“A lot of kids did,” he agreed, smiling back. “You make this look easy. It isn’t.”
“I’ve been doing it for a lot of years. Practice improves most things. Look how good you are with horses and cattle,” she added, punching more keys. “Because you grew up with it.”
He stood behind her, watching the screen. His lean hand touched her hair lightly. “I missed you,” he said suddenly.
She caught her breath. “Did you?”
“Ted said he was on the verge of firing me,” he continued. “He knew what was wrong, I think, but he wouldn’t put it into words.” He paused. “How’s your temper been, while we’re on the subject?”
“Not much better than yours, according to my coworkers.”
He drew her up from the chair and pulled her into his arms. “Then I think it’s time we made some decisions,” he said.
“What sort?”
He smiled and bent his head. “This sort,” he whispered against her warm mouth.
It was like coming home. She pressed close, savoring the muscular warmth of his body in the silence that followed. She hadn’t a protest left. She followed where he led, eagerly, without reservation.
When he lifted his head, she looked up at him with her heart in her eyes.
He looked oddly hesitant, his gaze intent and a little worried.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
He touched her cheek. “Cold feet,” he murmured, chuckling.
“I know how you feel.” She sighed. “But I’m miserable, just the same.”
“We know each other pretty well by now,” he remarked thoughtfully. “God knows, we aren’t kids. Let’s just take it one day at a time and see how it goes.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
He bent and kissed her again, lightly this time. “No heavy stuff, either,” he murmured against her lips. “We could be in over our heads much too quick.”
She sighed and laid her cheek against his chest. It felt familiar, safe. Her eyes opened and she studied the office across his patterned shirt.
“Remember when my puppy died, and you found me crying in the barn so Ted wouldn’t see?” she recalled.
He chuckled. “You didn’t want me to see, either.”
“Nothing ever seemed to bother you and Ted. I felt like a sissy. But you picked me up and held me until the tears stopped. Remember what you said?”
“That tears healed a broken heart,” he murmured. “Do they?”
“You wouldn’t know. You never cry.”
His hands linked behind her waist. “I did when my father killed himself,” he replied. “He was a good, decent man, but he wasn’t smart enough to suit my mother. She said she needed a man with a proper education, with the mind of a genius.”
“Do you know what happened to her?” she asked gently.
He stiffened. “No.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s all right. I didn’t mind the question. I lost track of her after he died. I suppose she’s still doing research in some top-secret lab somewhere. Maybe she’s even found a man smart enough to suit her, but I don’t imagine she stayed with him. You see, if he was too smart, she wouldn’t like the competition.”
“My mother wasn’t all that smart, she was just a rounder,” she volunteered. “It warped Ted, really badly. If Coreen hadn’t come along, I doubt he’d ever have married.”
“She’s a peach,” he agreed. He looked down at her with a tender smile. “So are you. Under that hard exterior and that computer brain, you’re a sweet woman.”
“Is that a compliment?”
His mouth brushed hers. “Oh, I think so,” he murmured. His breath whispered across her nose. “I’ve spent years trying to pretend that you were just another career woman like my mother. But when I see you with that little boy of Ted and Coreen’s in your arms, you don’t look much like a hard-boiled career woman, Sandy.”
She searched his pale eyes curiously. “You’ve never talked about children, except once,” she recalled, and looked uncomfortable. “You told Ted that you didn’t want a bunch of little computer experts…”
He put a long forefinger over her lips. “We all say things we don’t mean,” he told her. “I didn’t mean that. I’ve been fighting a losing battle with you for years. It’s hard to stop.”
“I know. I thought my life was e
xactly as I wanted it. Then I’d come home and see you…”
He nodded. “I understand perfectly.” He drew her closer and bent to kiss her again, softly. “This feels nice.”
“Mmm, doesn’t it, though?” She chuckled. She closed her eyes. “Eventually I should do something about Ted’s files.”
“They can wait.”
“I suppose so. But…”
The front doorbell rang. They looked toward it. Mrs. Bird went to let a visitor in, and they both frowned when they saw who it was.
Jobe let go of Sandy as Missy approached. She looked very cool and pretty in a yellow sundress. She had her purse and a file folder in both hands.
“I thought you might need these herd records,” she said with a sweet smile at Jobe. “I accidentally took them with me when I left.” She glanced mutinously toward Sandy. “I guess you came to look for those lost files?”
“I found them,” Sandy said smugly.
Missy looked uncomfortable. “I didn’t think you could recover lost files.”
“Where did you train?” Sandy asked pointedly.
“It’s a good school,” Missy said defensively, flushing. “They taught us how to recover stuff. I just forgot.”
“Bad business,” Sandy returned coolly. “Especially when so much depends on stored information. Fortunately for Ted, I knew how to get his herd records back. There’s a production sale this month, as I’m sure Jobe must have mentioned.”
Missy smiled. “Well, I guess he did, but then we didn’t talk about business all the time, did we, honey?” she asked Jobe.
He looked very uncomfortable. He’d made it seem as if he and Missy were involved to protect himself from Sandy, and now it was going to get him in serious trouble. He could tell from the expression on Sandy’s face that she still had doubts about him and Missy, and he didn’t exactly know how to dispel them.
CHAPTER FIVE
Missy saw Jobe’s uneasiness and decided to let her remarks sink in for a while. “Well, I’ll be off now. See you Monday,” she told Jobe with a flash of dark eyes and a secretive smile.
“Sure,” he returned.
Missy had left the herd records on the desk. Sandy glanced through them. These were the missing ones that Missy apparently thought she’d successfully deleted. She must have had ideas of spending today inputting them again in Jobe’s company.