Stroke of Sapphire ad-8

by N. J. Walters

  “You sure?” He pulled out the chair next to her and sat, his gaze still on her.

  She nodded and reached for a piece of pizza—the vegetarian side. Jake grabbed a slice from the other side and took a big bite. She watched his strong jaw chew and his throat ripple when he swallowed.

  Heat crept up her cheeks and she lowered her head and took a bite of pizza. Honestly, she had to stop looking at him as though she wanted to nibble on his jawline, to lick his stellar chest and washboard abs. Her nipples tightened and she bit back a sigh.

  She had a lot of questions to ask, but was reluctant to break the companionable silence that existed between them. Still, she’d never been a coward and wasn’t about to start now. “I did some research online today.” After she’d gotten home from her meeting with Topaz, she’d done some digging around on the internet, trying to come to grips with what Jake had told her. She’d seen some strange and slightly disturbing things while researching BDSM websites.

  “About what?” He finished his first slice and started another. His gaze was steady as he watched her. Sapphire picked up her wine and had a sip, letting the fruity flavor tickle her taste buds before sliding down her throat.

  “About the whole control in the bedroom thing.” She took a deep breath and blurted out her question. “Are you into the whole BDSM thing? You know, with leather and whips and stuff?” Because she wasn’t sure she could handle anything that hardcore.

  He set down the slice of pizza he was holding. “What gave you that idea?”

  She frowned at him. “I suppose it was your whole lecture on needing control in the bedroom and me not being able to handle it.” What else was she supposed to think?

  He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Hell no. Not that there’s anything wrong with it if it’s what people want, but I don’t understand the attraction and, frankly, I wouldn’t get any joy out of it.”

  Sapphire was totally confused. “Then what did you mean?”

  Jake’s chair scraped back and he stood. He held out his hand and said nothing. Slowly, she got to her feet and slid her hand into his. He scooped her into his arms and carried her into the living room, bypassing the sofa and heading straight to the disreputable looking chair. From the sad state of this particular piece of furniture, she could tell it was his favorite.

  He sat and settled her comfortably in his lap. His jaw was dark with beard stubble and she reached out and ran her fingers over it, unable to resist. The rasp was an erotic caress against her skin. He captured her hand and kissed her knuckles before setting it against his heart. The beat was steady and strong. Comforting.

  “I’m not into the whole BDSM scene,” he began, and she found herself relaxing against him, releasing a low sigh of relief.

  “Then what is it you want?” She truly wanted to understand him and what made him walk away from her the first time. She had to know if she was going to be able to give him another chance.

  They might have been intimate the other night, but it took more than sex to have a relationship. It took understanding, respect and liking as well.

  He ran his free hand up and down her thigh, momentarily distracting her. Sapphire was glad she’d worn pants and not a skirt or she’d probably be in danger of forgetting about this entire conversation. His hand on her bare skin always felt so good.

  “I spent twenty years in the army, and a good chunk of that time I was in hostile territory.”

  “I know.” She was glad she hadn’t known him then or she wasn’t sure she’d have been able to handle the stress of knowing he was in constant danger. She didn’t know how military spouses found the strength to deal with it day after day. She had a great deal of respect for them.

  “There’s a lot of things out of your control during a mission. So you control what you can and plan for all other possibilities.”

  Sapphire nodded but said nothing, not wanting him to stop talking. She’d thought a lot about what working as a sniper all those years must have been like. And she knew her imagination couldn’t come anywhere close to the truth.

  “I lived minute to minute, second to second. Sometimes never knowing what was going to happen. I learned that being in control of myself and my surroundings helped me deal with things better.”

  She could understand that. She rubbed her hand over his chest, wanting to comfort him in some small way, knowing this conversation was the turning point in their relationship. Dread and hope warred within her, and she had no idea which one was going to win.

  He laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “I’m what you might call a bit of a control freak. Great for a sniper, not so great in a relationship.” He briefly closed his eyes. He seemed tired and she wished she could do something to help him, but she knew letting him talk was the best thing for both of them.

  His gaze captured hers and she sucked in a breath at the torment she saw in his eyes. “I need to be in control in order to relax enough to enjoy sex. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

  His confession shocked her. “You mean you can’t achieve orgasm unless you’re in charge in the bedroom.”

  He nodded. “If I feel out of control, then my need for sex disappears and it becomes all about regaining control.” He gave her a rueful smile. “There are some women who find that kind of thing a turn-on the first few times, but they get tired of it eventually. I’ve been called a control freak and just plain scary by a few old girlfriends. I stopped dating before I even left the military.”

  Sapphire knew her jaw was hanging open. To imagine a man as virile and wholly masculine as Jake going for months or longer without sex was unbelievable. “You mean, you stopped—” She couldn’t figure out a good way to ask him if he’d stopped having sex.

  A quick grin flashed across his face before disappearing. “You should see the look on your face, babe. I won’t lie. I’ve had a few one-night stands along the way, but those left me cold and I eventually stopped. I haven’t had a woman in my life full-time for about a decade.

  “The last time I tried it ended badly. She tried her best, but couldn’t handle what I needed from her.” He sighed and a deep sadness seemed to engulf him before he shook off the memory. “I heard she ended up in therapy. I figured I was better off alone.”

  “But…” She still couldn’t wrap her mind around what he was telling her.

  “Don’t be so surprised. I’m disciplined, especially after spending so many years in hostile lands far away from women. I can use my hand when I have to.”

  His blunt assessment of the situation didn’t surprise her. This was Jake, the man who did what needed doing. She’d trusted him with her life and would again. But he didn’t totally trust her. Whether he realized it or not, his issue was really about trust. He didn’t trust himself with anyone. Could she live with that?

  She wasn’t one of those women who were stupid enough to go into a relationship thinking she could change a man. That way led to heartache. If he changed somewhere down the road it would be because he wanted to, and odds were good that he would never change. He was forty years old and knew his strengths and weaknesses well, maybe even better than most because of everything he’d lived through.

  “Sapphire.” He caught her chin and lifted it until their gazes were level. She lost herself in his pale-blue eyes. They were usually clear and emotionless, but not tonight. Tonight they blazed with longing, with need, for her. “Will you stay with me?”

  She knew what he was asking her. If she stayed tonight, she was agreeing to let him have control of her, to do whatever he asked of her, whenever he asked it.

  She nibbled on her bottom lip as uncertainty ate at her. “Only in the bedroom, right?” She needed to understand the parameters of this thing before they started.

  His fingers stroked through her dark curls and he pulled her face closer to his. “I love your independent spirit, your creativity, your light. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you, Sapphire.”

  “But?” She could hear the
unspoken word.

  “But sometimes I can be a bit overbearing and pushy outside the bedroom too.”

  “Nooo,” she teased. “Not you.”

  His lips curved into a sheepish grin. “I guess that comes as no surprise.”

  She leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. “Jake, you were my bodyguard for weeks. You’re autocratic and overbearing at times.” He tensed but she ignored it and continued. “But you’re also kind and funny and sexy as all get out. I know who you are. As long as you don’t expect me to obey you outside the bedroom we’ll be fine.” She leaned back and smiled. “Outside the bedroom, we’ll just fight like normal couples when you get domineering or heavy-handed.”

  He laughed and hugged her tight. “I expect you’re right.” All laughter faded when he cupped her face. “Give yourself to me.”

  This was it. The moment of truth was at hand. Was she ready and willing to give herself, body and soul, over to Jake? Because that’s what it would take. There would be no holding back once they started making love. He would demand everything from her, and he needed it in order to find his own enjoyment.

  Could she do this? Could she not?

  The air practically snapped with tension. Every muscle in Jake’s body hardened, including his cock, which pressed heavily against her hip. He was making no effort to hide how much he wanted her.

  She stared into his eyes, took a deep breath and jumped off the relationship cliff. “Yes.”

  Chapter Eight

  A sense of apprehension filled him and he was barely able to breathe as he waited for Sapphire to make up her mind about whether she would stay or go. Jake berated himself for giving her an ultimatum so soon. He should have taken her on dates to the movies or out for dinner, given her time to get used to him. They’d spent a lot of time together, but he’d been working then, protecting her.

  He’d been her bodyguard and, more recently, her lover, but never her boyfriend. What an insipid word for the hot, smoldering mass of emotion boiling within him—boyfriend. He didn’t want to be her boyfriend. He wanted her tied to him emotionally and sexually and every way possible, to know that she belonged to him and with him, that he had the right to warn off any other man who looked at her.

  Something about Sapphire brought out all his primitive instincts and he wanted to claim her in all ways possible—physically and emotionally. His entire body tensed as the realization shot through him—he wanted to marry her. He wanted her living in the home he provided for her, taking care of her, making sure she was safe. He wanted his ring on her finger as a sign to all other men that she was taken.

  Shit, could he get anymore Neanderthal? He knew he had control issues, but this was extreme even for him. There was something about Sapphire that stirred the most basic and savage part of him. But one thing he knew for certain, he would never do anything to hurt her. Unfortunately, he’d already done that when he’d left her that first night they’d been together. His intentions had been the best, but that didn’t negate the fallout.

  If they were going to split, she’d have to be the one to leave him. His gut clenched at the mere thought. He wasn’t sure he’d be strong enough to let her go. He tightened his hold on her, willing her to stay with him, to let him have her. His cock was aching to claim her hot, moist pussy. His balls tightened in agreement.

  She parted her lips and said the word that fired every nerve ending in his body, pushing it to hyper drive. “Yes.”

  He didn’t speak, wasn’t sure he could. He stood and carried her into the bedroom. The light was on in the master bath, giving him more than enough light to see her. He set her on her feet by the end of the bed and slowly released her until her feet were on the floor.

  Jake took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest. “I want you naked. Now.”

  Nerves had Sapphire’s stomach jumping, but she was also determined. Jake had his faults, but she loved him in spite of them. Loved his loyalty and courage, trusted him with her life. Now it was time to trust him with her heart. He’d laid it all out there, letting her know what he needed. She had to decide if this was what she wanted and if doing so would satisfy her emotionally as well as physically.

  She’d come to that realization this afternoon while she’d been bagging up the clothing she’d bought when she was determined to change herself. None of it truly suited her, just like none of the men she’d dated had either. She loved Jake. And while he’d hurt her once, she had to be brave enough to take another chance on him. If she didn’t, she knew she’d regret it for the rest of her life.

  He stood in front of her with his legs braced apart and his arms folded across his chest. His biceps stretched the fabric of his shirt and his erection created a huge bulge in the front of his jeans. Big, solid and sexy. That was Jake Knight.

  Curiosity had her looking around the dimly lit room. It was much like the rest of his home—masculine and functional. The bed was king-size and covered with a charcoal-gray comforter. Nightstands flanked either side. The only other piece of furniture was a chest of drawers, the wood dark and rich in tone.

  “Sapphire?”

  Her eyes flew back to Jake. He was waiting to see what she would do. She could see the doubt in his eyes, and knew he was expecting her to have second thoughts. That prompted her to action. She pulled off her top and let it fall to the floor. His gaze was riveted on her lacy white bra, making her glad she’d worn it instead of a plain cotton one.

  “Take your hair down.” She’d clipped it back with a silver-and-jeweled butterfly barrette she’d created as part of the new line at Sisters’ Jewels. She reached behind and released it, dropping it on top of her sweater. The curly mass of her hair fell around her shoulders and down her back.

  Jake’s lips tightened and his eyes practically smoldered with desire. “Now your pants.”

  Her fingers shook as she unbuttoned her slacks. At the last second, she remembered to slip off her shoes before shoving her pants down her thighs. She stepped out of them and stood before him wearing only her panties and bra. Her hands fluttered nervously by her sides. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with them.

  “Turn around. Slowly.” Jake put his hands on his hips, his gaze narrowing as he watched her like a hawk does his prey. She wished he’d lose some clothes too so she wouldn’t feel so self-conscious. This was harder than she’d thought it would be. Standing before him when he seemed so composed, so in control.

  There was that word again—control. If they were going to have a relationship, she’d have to get used to this kind of thing. She turned in a small circle, letting him get a good look at her.

  “Your bra.” His voice was slightly hoarse and very deep. “Take it off.”

  She reached behind and unhooked the garment. She wished it was a sexy front-closing bra, but she took her time, letting the tension grow between them. One inch at a time, she let the straps fall down her arms and finally off.

  Jake sucked in a breath and Sapphire stood straighter, glad he was so affected by the sight of her naked breasts.

  “Touch yourself.” A command, and one she hadn’t been expecting. She’d thought he’d have her strip and get on with things. But Jake seemed to be in no hurry.

  She lifted her hands and cupped her large breasts. Her fingers were cool against her bare flesh and her nipples pebbled with both the chill and her arousal.

  “Use your thumbs to stimulate the tips.”

  Sapphire licked her suddenly dry lips and did as he told her, rubbing the pads of her thumbs over the distended buds. She moaned and felt a rush of liquid between her thighs. Jake was watching her every move and the bulge in his jeans was getting larger by the second. Watching her turn herself on was arousing him.

  She let her head fall back and concentrated on pleasuring herself. Her fingers plucked at her nipples, her palms shaped and molded her breasts.

  “Offer them to me.” The dark command interrupted her growing pleasure and sent shivers racing down her spine. “Come to me
.”

  Sapphire swallowed hard but was powerless to resist him. She cupped the large mounds in her hands and on unsteady feet walked toward him. Jake waited, his nostrils flaring with each step she took. But he didn’t come to her, waiting until she stood right in front of him.

  He lowered his head and his warm breath feathered over her skin. Goose bumps raced over her chest and down her arms. “So sensitive,” he murmured. He lapped at one firm nipple, letting his tongue twine around the turgid bud. Then he did the same to the other.

  She pressed her thighs together to try to dull the growing ache building there. Her pussy was hot and wet and oh so needy. Jake closed his lips over her nipple and gently raked his teeth over the sensitive flesh.

  Sapphire gasped and then moaned, her knees growing weaker by the second. She was panting for breath, every muscle trembling.

  Jake stepped back and studied her. He walked around behind her and she stayed where she was, instinctually knowing he didn’t want her to move.

  He leaned down and kissed the dark bruises that marred her right shoulder, but he said nothing, and for that she was grateful. She didn’t want to talk or even think about Ivan. Not now, not ever. The bruises would fade and so would his memory.

  He switched sides and kissed the dark smudges on her left shoulder, his lips lingering for a moment before he straightened.

  The heavy mass of her hair was lifted off her neck and she tensed. Hot breath blew over her sensitive nape. Then he kissed the tender spot, raking his teeth over it. She shivered again, capturing her lower lip between her teeth so she didn’t cry aloud.

  Large hands cupped her ass and the skimpy fabric of her panties was no defense against his touch. She went up on her toes, trying to get him to touch her where she needed it the most. He laughed, low and pleased, with himself, with her, she wasn’t sure and didn’t really care.

  He came around to stand in front of her, looking satisfied that she was still cupping her breasts. Slowly, he pulled off his shirt, letting it fall to the floor. She licked her lips at the sight of his broad chest and rock-hard abs. Biceps rippled and muscles popped.