Van spoke up then. “It’s done. You two retirees killing seven guys assaulting your beach house is already the stuff of legend back in DC. There are higher ups willing to take a hit to side with you two on anything. Rick following it up with acing Velez and his crew… well… you can only imagine the hype. We need you two back in the mix. If not for those idiots back in the day looking for scapegoats for everything, you would have been director by now, Lo.”
“Van’s right,” Floyd added. “You can forget about law enforcement moving on you for the parking lot hit, Rick. We have agents already serving warrants at Velez’s ranch house with cadaver dogs. We’re expecting to find some missing locals around his property underground.”
Floyd stood up. “Thank you for your cooperation. We won’t call you unless it’s a case we can back your type of action in solving. It’s a new, scary day in the neighborhood. The people in power run for their hidey holes when they get called on to define the action needed to prevent someone like Velez. Guys like Van and I are stuck with inventing scenarios to protect our nation. If you hear we’ve been ‘retired’. That will be a dead on clue not to take another look at anything presented to you.”
“You’re okay, Randolf,” Lo said. “We’ll play it by ear as you say. I know my main job will be keeping this old geezer from screwing all of us up… just like the old days.”
“That’s just mean, Lo,” I said, but even Floyd laughed at her self-professed job description.
We said our goodbyes to the federals. Lois motioned Bone and Trish in with us. “Once again, Hooterville dived into the proverbial shit pile and emerged smelling like a damn rose. Didn’t I send you down there to keep sparky in line, Skipper?”
“Blow it out your ass, Granny! Hooterville got his father complex on. Velez and his assholes had it in for a young waitress employee named Nicki. They strong-armed her into the parking lot where Nicki’s surrogate Daddy Hooterville blew all their heads off, leaving me with my ass in the breeze.”
Lo cackled away for a few moments over that response. Bone wisely smiled but stayed silent. She took a bottle out from her desk along with four shot glasses. She poured us all a shot and raised hers in a toast. “To Hooterville. Somehow he’s managed to bring us full circle back into the Company with guys in authority actually willing to back our play.”
Lo drained hers, as did we other minions of the establishment. I hated to do it, but I needed to ground us back into another item of reality, namely Cheech Garibaldi. “We have to make good on our word to Cheech. Did you download the script he wants Karen and Temple to read, Bone?”
Lo refilled our shot glasses.
“Yep. I sent them to both women with our blessing, and request for an honest appraisal. Can I ask a question and get an honest answer?”
“Sure,” Lo answered. “What’s bothering you? I’m going to raise your salary again. I’m giving you the extra money I was going to give Trish until she lost control of Hooterville.”
Trish signaled her displeasure silently with one finger.
“I know now about the list you two have of bad guys. I understand it to be bad guys who get out of line and then get handled like Velez when they pose a threat. I… I wasn’t on the list, was I?”
I glanced over at Lo. She smiled and sipped. “No way, Bone.”
“Never Timothy, never,” Lo added.
Bone sighed and downed his refilled shot. “Liars.”
Trish giggled inappropriately. “Don’t think too much about it, Bone. I’m still on the list.”
“Thanks, Trish… but somehow that’s not very reassuring.”
Trish stood up and massaged Bone’s shoulders. “Think of it this way, Bone. Velez was on the list, and now he’s not.”
Bone grinned up at Trish, realizing her comical reassurance meant if you’re still on the list then you’re still alive. “Yeah… okay… that’s what I’m talkin’ about.”
* * *
We were already famous enough with the media notoriety, but showing up for the Wednesday workout was a hoot. The gang was all there along with well-wisher regulars, hoping to get a reality TV type gossip binge. The media already had me tied into everything. They went wild, sparing no expense to achieve their truth as they saw it – whatever stirs up trouble. So far, in addition to the seven bodies accounted for on the beach house attack, rumor now had it I went Rambo on Velez and his gang. Damn it! I hate when the pricks get it right. I handled it with aplomb, talking them all down from the extremist take on what was basically the truth.
I kept doing stretches and warm-ups with an inappropriately giggling Trish, who laughed outright at every new addition to my lore. We had fun with it, spewing sarcastic innuendo statements that meant nothing. But then Lo arrived with her newly returned Igor, Shelly. Max had probably discovered the best route in notoriety by skipping this Wednesday night session. Lo ended the workout group bonding in a single outcry.
“Hello! You fuds start stretching,” Lo ordered. “Too much talking and not enough stretching. That extra weight ain’t leavin’ through your mouth exercises.”
Lo got a loud mix of return laughs and insults. Temple and Karen arrived together without Danny. To describe them as excited would be a misnomer. They ran over to give me a hug as well as Trish.
“We missed you, Pop!” Temple danced around as if she were a teenage girl. Oh yeah… I keep forgetting… she is a teenage girl. “No gun battles, fist fights, or anything. It was so boring.”
“I seem to remember a certain young lady in extreme distress at the beach house after the so called entertaining attack. Maybe enjoying everyday happenings rather than life threatening events could be considered a welcome phase of boring.”
Temple shrugged. “Yeah… okay… I’ll give you that. Karen and I love the new script! This will be my chance to get the hell away from my Sally Waters persona. The movie will make a fortune. It’s funny, sad, poignant, and has a great happy ending!”
Karen gripped my wrist. “Welcome back. I’m glad you and Trish are safe. The script is awesome. We’ve already decided we’ll do the movie, even if the salary is a little weak up front, I think this is a case where having a small percentage of the gross would be much better. Like Shortcake said, it will be a hit.”
“Lo and I read it. We didn’t comment with our thoughts on it because we wanted to hear what you and Temple thought of the script before giving our opinion. We liked it a lot too.”
“It’s a wonderful script,” Shelly spoke up for the first time. She looked tanned, rested, and in a friendly mood for a change.
“That script will get both of you an Academy Award nomination,” Lo added. “I’m not much of a movie buff, but that script has an irresistible nostalgia factor – a feel good movie without the pathos they try to throw in nowadays. I guess we can let Cheech in on the good news tomorrow. It will probably mean launching into the movie immediately, because as I understand it, he has everything set to go.”
“I’m clear to start anything,” Karen said.
“I only have appearances related to the new Sally Waters movie to honor. That won’t interfere because the shooting takes place in LA. Did you like the script, Trish?”
“I did. I’m not as excited as our two resident dinosaurs, but I think the movie will be good. I haven’t told anyone, but Cheech wants me to play the smartass next door neighbor. He mentioned it when meeting with us the other day. I didn’t say anything, because at the time we were all walking on hot coals as it was.”
“That’s terrific, Trish,” Karen said. “We’ll need to come up with a stage name for you though. It’s one thing to have people sniffing around rumors of a mysterious killer background, but a whole other problem putting a name to it.”
“We’ll think of one that’s really catchy, Trish,” Temple added excitedly. “You’d be perfect as the next door neighbor.”
“How about Skipper Nunca?” Lo fired one from cheap shot land.
“I think you should keep your first name,” I
told her. “How about Trish Medina?”
“That’s not bad, Rick,” Karen said.
“It’s very good,” Shelly agreed. “It sounds both professional and casual.”
“Trish is a relatively rare name,” Lo added. “Trish Medina does have a nice ring to it.”
“Karen and I have been working through parts of the script,” Temple said, glancing up where Jadie and Ken were greeting their two assistants. “Why don’t you join us, Trish?”
I could tell Temple caught Trish by surprise. “Well… okay. You two could at least level with me in private about whether I suck at it or not. Maybe I can become a star and Hooterville can escort me to the big opening in his Kevin Costner getup like he did Karen.”
Karen made hushing motions at Trish. “Don’t bring that incident up. When Rick guessed what I was up to, Lo tortured me for months over that small deception to boost my career.”
“Damn right I did. I think you got pregnant just to halt the payback.” She pointed at Temple, who was biting her lip to keep from speaking. “Drop and give me twenty, Shortcake.”
Temple gasped. “Wha…what did I do?”
“I read you as easily as I do Hooterville. Don’t make me tell you twice or I make it forty.”
Temple went into plank position, gauging for a moment if she should just make a run for the door. “You’re mean, Lo!”
Lois cackled delightedly as Jadie held up her hands to get the class going.
Chapter Twenty
Bittersweet Endings
Cheech met us at our building the next morning with Karen and Temple in attendance with us. Shelly and I got everyone a coffee before adjourning to Lois’s office. Bone and Trish were on their first security scout-out together of a convenience store with thug problems. The owner wanted a consult as to what he could do to end the harassment of his workers and store theft. Bone was familiar with the store and the neighborhood. Trish could add insights. In the end though, these type security problems are a nightmare.
Since hoodies are now sacred and above criticism, security cameras have been made nearly useless in small store operations. Thugs, young and old, can come and go as they please with hoodies, hats, and sunglasses covering their recognizable features. In most cases the only solution to the problem is a full time guard in attendance. Most small stores are operated on a shoestring budget, negating the option of hiring guards.
We have been successful in the past by having our security teams make frequent stops for a couple months until we’ve busted up enough incidents or dissuaded the thugs from targeting the store we represent. Trish had offered another idea, a bit more extreme in conjunction to the more frequent patrolling, which is why she went with Bone. If they could figure out who was behind the constant harassment, we could then target the leader. Trish wanted to show up in the night like the ghost of convenience store vengeance, issue a warning to call off all concerted actions by the leader’s minions, or be dealt with for each and every offense personally. I liked the idea, but I didn’t want Trish back in prison, and as much as she hated to admit it, neither did Lois. We agreed to hear her out when she made her determinations.
We settled in comfortably with Cheech. He was all smiles - very pleased to cut out the lawyers, agents, and hangers on for this meeting. “It is so nice to speak with you both in person about this project. I believe we can make something memorable and extremely profitable. I know that you two are more in a position to offset up front salaries with a percentage of the gross earnings. That in itself will help tremendously with expenses involved in the infinite number of peripherals involved in a business you two are familiar with.”
“You already know how we feel about the script,” Karen replied. “We won’t play coy with you about how much we want to do this. Unfortunately, any final deal will have to be read over by our lawyers. I promise you we will not play any games delaying production or pull some diva bullshit on you. We’re ready to make this movie with you.”
“We’ve been reading the script on our own, and acting out the mother/daughter parts. We think you’ll be pleased with our characterizations,” Temple said. “I love the idea of Trish being the neighbor. She’ll nail that part.”
Cheech nodded, leaning forward. “Exactly what I thought. Trish can dead pan a line or add menace to her features instantly. I’ve seen her do it. That is exactly what we need for the neighbor. I will put this in motion the moment I leave here. When I called the director I spoke with about the two of you being sold on playing the mother/daughter, he stopped dragging his feet about starting. His name’s Quincy Wolf. I believe you worked with him before on a TV project, Karen.”
Karen’s eyes widened. “That’s impressive. You signed Quincy Wolf on as director. This didn’t involve him waking up with a horse’s head next to him in bed did it?”
Karen drew appreciative laughter, especially from Cheech.
“No, Karen. Mr. Wolf is a personal friend of mine. I did help him out of a couple of tight problems where I used Trish to ease the negotiations along. He knows Trish, and was the one to recommend trying to get her for the neighbor part.”
Cheech stood up. He shook hands with both Karen and Temple. “This has been a most fortunate meeting. My lawyers will contact each of you with how you would like the contract worded, and what percentage would be needed. Then please present the contract to your people as soon as possible. You are in exactly the right condition in your pregnancy Karen. Rick? Walk me out please.”
“Sure.” I didn’t know what that meant for me, but it couldn’t be bad, or I’d drag Lois along with me. She’s like a human lie detector.
When we reached the hall, Cheech held out his hand. I shook it. “You didn’t need me at all, Rick. That Velez hit was a thing of beauty. One of those shitheads he had with him that night killed a friend of mine. I owe you, and I’m a man who never forgets a debt.”
Okay, I’m in a good mood too, and I’ll admit our past has bothered me. “I’ll call us even if you can put what I had to do with your brother behind us completely.”
Cheech’s face took on a grim aspect. “I will be frank with you, Rick. I have seldom met two people more impressive than you and Lois. I have never been surprised to any degree in my business dealings, but you and your partner have been an eye opening experience for me. When the two of you took out an attack squad sent to your beach house, I… well… let’s put it this way, I want the two of you on my side. I in turn will make every effort to legitimize my business. If for some reason I have to abandon my high hopes, I will warn you well in advance. I will continue in your debt and consider you a friend. The past is past.”
Well, damn. “You should come to Casablanca Night. Although there’s already a Louis Renault character in the restaurant, you can be my real life Louis.”
Cheech cracked up, slapping my back. When he could speak, he dove right in. “I’m coming this Friday. Save me a seat at the table.”
“You got it.”
Cheech straightened, looking up at me with a slow head shake. “How in the hell did you two characters ever make it alive this far, Rick? Just the people I have info on, that you’ve pissed off in civilian life, would make it a fact that you two are living on borrowed time already… daily.”
“We’ve been joined at the hip for a long time, Cheech. When someone comes for one of us, they better make it a double, because hell on earth starts the moment one of us draws a last breath under questionable circumstances. I’m very glad you’re not going to be one to test those waters.”
“Nope. We’re good, Rick. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other during this movie shoot. You don’t mind me wanting you as the bodyguard to our stars at every opportunity, do you? Your draw in the media has become an entity onto itself.”
“I’ll do everything I can on the publicity front to help the movie. I’m a double edged sword though in that regard, my friend. I can become a liability in a split second.”
Cheech chuckled, waving as he walk
ed down the hall. “Yeah… you can.”
I returned to Lois’s office. “Nothing to report. Cheech wanted me to know there weren’t any hard feelings. He loves the two of you. Lois and I are an entity he has to keep in mind, but likes having at his back. I like Cheech… period. This Hollywood deal making is not in my database of proficiency. The only axiom I see here is complete the movie. You two aren’t sinking any money into it. Your contribution is acting and taking a percentage with vast gain and success as a gamble on your time. It’s a can’t miss endeavor.”
“I agree with Rick,” Lo said. “We want the best for you two, but gambling a bit in this Hollywood business is a fact of life.”
“I’m in no matter what,” Temple said. “I’ll have Pop kill them all if I get screwed.”
Lo laughed the hardest, pointing at Temple. “You’re lucky you’re funny, Shortcake. Otherwise, I’d make you drop and give me fifty.”
“It’s a great gamble,” Karen stated without reservation. “We can’t lose anything other than some time doing a project we have real passion for.”
“Amen to that,” I agreed.
* * *
Here we are outside the smalltime kingpin of crime’s girlfriend’s house, with a prison sentence for us if this thing blows up in our faces. Bone and Trish found out the moron responsible for all the repeated robberies and daily harassment of our convenience store owner: Mohammed Antar. Yeah, he’s a cliché. So what. He has a family, and he’s getting screwed by a parasite on the ass of society. Bone knew of him: Eric Tamaro. He’s bad news for everyone: a reputation for everything under the sun, including suspected but not proven murder. My concern is that my paramour Trish has begun having aspirations to becoming a superhero. She’s had a taste of making things right, and she can’t get enough of it. This caper is a bit farfetched to say the least. Sure, Lo and I have done a few bad deeds to bad people on a whim. I know how enticing it is to simply make justice work.
Rick Cantelli, P.I. Deadly Liaisons (Rick Cantelli, P.I. Detectives Book 2) Page 27