It was like something in his body got tense, although I didn’t see anything actually change in his stance or posture. “Yes,” he said slowly.
“Because someone with the last name of Maxwell took it on himself to get me un-invited to the fundraiser.”
Levi didn’t say anything. He just sat stiffly, looking at me.
The shock was coalescing into a kind of betrayed anger I’d never experienced before. “Why would he do that? Why would someone with the last name of Maxwell do that to me?”
“Harper,” he began in a mollifying tone. “Don’t—”
“Don’t what?” I spit out, jumping to my feet to get away from him, to keep him from touching me. “Don’t overreact? Is that what you think I’m doing? This happened before yesterday. How did you even know about it before yesterday?”
He made a face and glanced away.
“How did you know?” I repeated in a clipped tone.
“Jack told me what you were planning.
“Jack? Jack? So you’ve been spying on me through my boss.” I was almost choking on shocked indignation. “And you think I’m overacting? When you’ve been going behind my back all this time and betraying me?”
“I didn’t betray you.” He stood up too, and he looked cool now and in control. “There’s no reason to take it like that.”
“No reason—” I gaped at him, wondering who this man even was. Who had I been in bed with for the last week?
Definitely not the man I’d thought he was.
“I need to keep you safe,” he said, stepping over and holding me by my upper arms. “Keeping you safe is the most important thing, and you refuse to see reason about it. I’m just doing what I have to do.”
It all felt so horrible, so bewildering, that my whole history with Levi took on the same dark pall. I gasped again as something else came to my mind. “Is that why you started fucking me in the first place? So you could have an excuse to be around me more often and keep me safe?” I yanked myself out of his grip. “That’s it, isn’t it? It was all part of this stupid, noble crusade you’re on that you say is for my protection but is really about giving yourself some sort of heroic purpose to make you feel better about your wreck of a life.”
The angry words must have hit home. I saw a reaction on his face.
We were both breathing heavily, staring at each other in the silence of the room.
Then I said, “Get out.”
“Harper,” he began, taking another step toward me and reaching out again. “If you’d just let me explain—”
“There’s nothing to explain here. Nothing you say is going to make what you did all right. You lied to my face.”
“I did not lie—”
“You did! Or just the same as lying. You were working behind my back all along, and you still had the gall to pretend you trusted me. There’s no way in hell I’m going to fuck a man who does that to me. Get out.”
He was angry now too. It was clear from the fire in his eyes, from the tightness of his jaw. “So that’s it? You won’t listen to anything I say? You just make assumptions about me and my motives and decide that they must be true? You can berate me all you want about not trusting you, but you’re guilty of exactly the same thing. You say you trusted me, but you really didn’t. You are so obsessed with making sure that no one ever belittles you or controls you or silences you that you can never actually hear what someone else is trying to tell you. You’ve never trusted anyone but yourself.”
“I can’t believe you’re standing there saying that to me. You. You’re the one who betrayed my trust. Don’t you dare blame this on me. Now get out!”
He turned to walk to the door but paused before he stepped out. “You can have the last word, like you always do. I don’t give a damn about that. But I am going to say this. There’s no reason for you to go DC now, since you can’t attend the fundraiser, but I’m still going to make sure you’re safe, even here in town, since someone is still trying to kill you.” He let out a bitter huff of amusement. “I owe that to Gavin at least.”
“Get out!” I practically screamed at him. I couldn’t stand to even look at him anymore.
He left after that. I heard him walk down the stairs and then out the front door. I watched from the window as he took my overnight bag out of his car and returned it to the house.
I was sure he locked the front door before he closed it again.
Then he drove away.
I sat shaking, panting, too crushed to even cry.
But it didn’t matter. I told myself it didn’t matter. Levi had never been that important to me. Whatever I’d felt for him was obviously based in absolutely nothing and, as such, it wouldn’t last.
No doubt, Levi thought he’d won. He’d kept me from going to the fundraiser, to DC, everything. Exactly as he’d always wanted.
He was treating me like a child, like a little girl. He was patting my head and sending me to bed.
Exactly like he’d always done.
Nothing had changed.
But that didn’t mean I was going to put up with it.
So I was un-invited to the fundraiser. I’d figure something else out. I wasn’t going to back down just because Levi wanted me to.
I grabbed my phone and my purse and hurried downstairs, picking up my overnight bag on the way out.
I threw everything in my car and started to drive out of town, heading for the interstate.
Levi thought he’d won, but he hadn’t.
There was no way in hell I’d let that happen.
Ten
Levi
I wanted to say that I had no idea what Harper was going to do next, but that was bullshit. If I wasn’t so damn pissed off, I’d be laughing. Did she honestly think I wouldn’t know that she was going to take off to DC on her own?
Predictable.
Painfully predictable.
She may not have mentioned where it was we were supposed to stay, but following her wouldn’t be hard. Knowing her like I did, I knew she’d be so focused on her anger that she wouldn’t even think to check her rearview mirror.
Predictable.
I knew the minute I put her luggage back in the house that leaving wasn’t the right thing to do. I should have made her listen. Of course, there wouldn’t have been much listening—not with her wanting to get the last damn word in.
But I should have done better. Tried to get her to understand me. Tried to understand her.
I slammed my hand on the steering wheel in frustration. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. None of it. I wasn’t supposed to be driving up I-95, chasing after Harper. I wasn’t supposed to be watching after her. Hell, she wasn’t supposed to be in danger.
And Gavin wasn’t supposed to be dead.
No matter what happened between me and Harper, or with whatever she was trying to stir up in Washington, at the end of the day, Gavin wasn’t coming back. I wasn’t a Marine anymore. My life wasn’t my own.
And the kick of it was that I was just starting to settle into what life had thrown at me. I still would rather be doing anything but construction for my dad, but it wasn’t quite as painful as it used to be. I was settling back into being at home. Being with my family. Being a civilian.
I was settling into being with Harper.
That was the scariest thing of all.
In a perfect world, we would have reconnected at a later time. I would have finished my time in the corps, come home with Gavin, and met up with her again. We could have had a chance to explore our undeniable attraction in a space of safety and security. Gavin would have been pissed—that was a given. But in time, he might have been okay with it.
But too much had happened too fast.
If Gavin were here, Harper wouldn’t be in danger. Maybe only to herself, but not the kind of danger she was flirting with now. My foot pressed down a little harder on the accelerator. This had to stop. Soon. Now. Yesterday.
The rest of the drive wasn’t easy. There was traffic to deal w
ith and one particularly tricky stop for gas where I was certain Harper was going to see me. But, true to form, she was so singularly focused on her task that a marching band could have walked by and she wouldn’t have noticed it.
It was barely dark when she pulled into the hotel parking lot. I pulled in right behind her, effectively blocking her in. She jumped out of her car, stormed over to my door, and pounded her fist on the window. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I knew she’d be pissed. That was a given. But there was a hint of vulnerability in her eyes that almost had me regretting what I’d done.
Almost.
Shoving the door open, I stepped out and slammed the door. “What do you think I’m doing?” I snapped. “The real question is what the hell are you doing here? You’re not going to get into that event, so you might as well forget about the whole thing.”
Her eyes widened right before they turned to slits. “I’m not getting in thanks to you.”
God, she was infuriating. “Look, I’ve tried to be patient with you. I’ve asked you nicely and not so nicely to stop what you’re doing. It’s enough now, Harper. Let it alone!” My voice was harsher than I’d ever used on her, but it didn’t deter her one damn bit.
“No one asked you! I never asked you to get involved! I never asked you to take the role of…what, some kind of protector or bodyguard! I didn’t ask for any of it!” Tears filled her eyes, but she held it together.
“Of course you wouldn’t ask. You’re so busy trying to prove to the fucking world that you’re strong and tough and that you’ve got it all together that you don’t have a clue about what’s really going on around you. Open your eyes! This isn’t a game. You are out of your league here. Leave it alone.”
“I know how big this is. I’m not a moron.” Her entire being vibrated with fury. “What you don’t realize is that Gavin was my brother. My flesh and blood, and I loved him. I wake up every day, and I think I’m going to see him, talk to him. And then I remember. It’s like losing a limb. My family will never be whole again. My life will never be whole again!” She swiped at a tear that dared to fall. “So fuck you if you can’t understand that. I’m going to keep talking to people and keep asking questions until I know what happened.”
In that instant, defeat washed over me. It wrapped around me. Suffocated me. It didn’t matter what I did. It didn’t matter what I said. She was going to keep going with this, and in the end, she’d be no better off.
And she’d end up hating me even more than she did right now.
“What are you fighting for Harper?” I asked with a deadly calm that I’d never felt before. My words were harsh, and part of me meant to hurt her. “After all your petitions, press conferences, and editorials, what will you have? Nothing. He's not coming back."
She looked ready to speak, ready to argue my point, but I didn’t want to hear it. I was done. I looked her in the eye and felt a stab to my heart that I hadn’t felt since I stood over Gavin’s dead body.
I opened the door to the truck and climbed back in, refusing to look at her again. No, Gavin wasn’t coming back. I pulled away and did my best to focus on the road ahead of me. "And neither am I.”
***
I walked into the bar, and three pairs of eyes stared at me with a combination of shock and pity.
“If any of you wants to tell me that I look like shit, I swear to God I’ll kill you.” I didn’t bother waiting for any kind of a response. I walked directly to the bar and ordered a drink. The drive home from DC the night before had been hell, and the only way I managed to not lose my mind was to get the guys on the phone one by one.
Thank God, they were all living in limbo like I was without a hell of a lot to do. It made getting together on short notice a lot easier. Paying for my drink with a muttered “thanks,” I walked over to the table in the back corner where Sebastian, Declan, and Cole were waiting.
The last time we were all here together, they’d been making fun of me for just about everything. Clearly they could see that I was in no fucking mood for it tonight, so they all just waited for me to sit my sorry ass down and tell them what was going on.
“Twice in one week,” Seb said to break the silence. “You’re lucky I’m anxious to get away from my family.”
Declan laughed. “Not me. I had a date tonight. I had finally convinced the lovely Tiffany Aimes that she needed to sleep with me.” He glared at me with a grin. “I needed to get laid. This better be important.”
Important? Hell, it was probably only important to me. Looking at the three of them, their eyes all on me, waiting, and it suddenly hit me what a selfish bastard I was. They all had lives. This thing with Harper? Maybe I was seeing something that wasn’t there. Maybe I really was still dealing with my guilt over Gavin, and I’d made more out of the whole damn thing then there actually was.
“I’m sure the dialogue in your head is fucking fascinating,” Cole said as he scooped a handful of peanuts from the bowl in the middle of the table, “but I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we’d appreciate knowing why we’re all here and why you’re so pissy.”
“I’m not…pissy.” Yeah, I was, but it burned a little to be called on it.
“What would you call it?” Declan asked, taking a sip of his own drink.
“Harper found out about why she got un-invited from the DC thing.” Seb was the only one that nodded. Cole and Declan were still in the dark.
“How?” Seb asked.
I shrugged. “Does it matter? She found out, she’s mad as hell, and she’s in DC right now. Probably banging on doors and pissing people off.”
We all sat in silence until Cole spoke. “I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? We all know that no one is going to talk to her. They’re certainly not going to tell her anything different than what she’s been told already. It was an accident. That’s it. It sucks, and it was a fucking nightmare, but it was an accident.”
“Was it?” I asked quietly.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Declan demanded. “Of course, it was an accident! Why would you even question that?”
“I was supposed to go in first. It was my job to make sure the area was secure,” I said as I broke out in a sweat. I closed my eyes and I was there. I was watching the whole scene unfold all over again. “I got distracted. I missed something. I never miss anything!”
The silence was deafening, and I was thankful that they weren’t trying to make conversation or trying to convince me that I was wrong. I knew what I’d done.
Or didn’t do.
“She may not get a different answer,” I said finally, “but she’s going to push whoever it is that she’s pissed off further over the edge.” I ran my fingers through my hair and shuddered inwardly at the thought of Harper being hurt.
“Well, I talked to the PI,” Seb said, interrupting my thoughts.
“And?”
“We need to look a little closer at Harper’s inner circle.”
“Meaning?”
“Who is around her? From everything that you’ve told us, there hasn’t been anyone out of the ordinary lurking around, so that means it’s someone that blends in. Someone who no one would question seeing around Harper.”
It made sense. Damn, why hadn’t I thought of that sooner?
“I’d say that’s your next obvious step,” Cole said.
“Absolutely,” I muttered, mentally kicking myself for missing the obvious.
Again.
Why didn’t I just kill off the whole damn family and get it over with? At the rate I was going, it wouldn’t take long. I was supposed to be watching out for Gavin and I’d failed. I was supposed to be protecting Harper and…well, I hadn’t failed yet, but it was just a matter of time.
Instead of walking away—again—I should have stayed. I should have put my personal feelings aside and stayed with her. Who knew what kind of trouble she was getting into, and if she got hurt, it would be my fault. Sure, she wasn’t helping matters,
but in the end, it was because walking away was my specialty that Harper was going to get hurt.
And not just physically.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that part of my quick exit strategy was to avoid anything deep or long term. I never stuck it out, never got too serious. The kicker was, I could’ve seen myself sticking it out with Harper.
And I was already serious.
About her.
About her safety.
About us.
“Okay, now that we’ve given Levi a pat on the butt and pointed him in the right direction, can we please see about getting laid?” Declan said, as he sat up a little straighter.
“Dude,” Cole said, leaning back with a look of disgust, “I know it’s been a while, but you’re on your own on that one. Not that you aren’t attractive,” he added with a wink and a smile, “but you just aren’t my type.”
They all burst out laughing. “You could do a lot worse,” Declan said.
“As long as that worse comes in the form of female curves, I’m in,” Cole said as he stood. “Next round’s on me.” He took a couple of steps before looking over his shoulder. “And don’t think I don’t know that you’re checking out my ass.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Very funny,” Declan said, “but I’m serious. It’s been a long time since we’ve hit a bar together with the sole intention of looking for a hook up. You cheated me out of a sure thing tonight, so what do you say we leave this dark corner and go over to the bar and see what we can see?”
A couple of weeks ago, I might’ve said yes. But now? I couldn’t. I may have walked away from Harper but that didn’t mean that I wanted somebody else. A sigh escaped before I could stop it.
“Oh, for the love of it,” Declan said with disgust. “If you’re going to go all pouty and pathetic, you might as well go home.” He stood. “Now if you gents will excuse me, there’s a redhead over there that I think desperately needs my attention.” He was gone before either Seb or I could say a word.
“You all right?” Seb asked when it was just the two of us.
I shrugged. “I’m going to take the PI’s advice and look a little closer at Harper’s inner circle. Wouldn’t that be a bitch if it were that easy?”
Duty Bound Page 11