But no matter how much I lectured myself, I couldn’t overcome the burning need that was still growing inside me every minute. Under the special gown I was wearing, my nipples were tight and achy and the place between my thighs felt swollen and tender with desire—a desire I could do nothing to satiate myself.
I knew because I’d tried.
I had insisted on bathing myself for that express purpose. At first Kristoff had adamantly refused, but I insisted and I think he finally got the hint. I took a long leisurely soak in the huge, blue marble tub and tried taking care of business.
It didn’t work.
Or rather, it did work but it wasn’t enough. It seemed like no matter how much I touched myself, the need was never satiated. And believe me, I tried until the water went cold around me and I was beyond frustrated. My clit felt hot and swollen, ready to come at the lightest touch but every orgasm I gave myself seemed to barely ease the need inside me. At last I had to admit I needed something deeper—another way to satisfy my desire.
Finally, Kristoff had knocked on the door and demanded admittance. I sat up quickly, letting the tepid water cover me and told him to come in.
He took one look at my flushed and guilty face and shook his head.
“My Lady,” he said in a low voice as he sat on the edge of the tub. “It won’t help.”
“What won’t help? What do you mean?” I stuttered, feeling like my face must be as hot as the bathwater was cold by that time.
Kristoff simply gave me a look. “Don’t forget that I can feel your emotions through the link I share to you,” he said matter-of-factly. “I know what you’ve been doing in here and exactly how unsatisfied you still are, my Lady.”
“I…you…” I’d felt suddenly ashamed, and even more naked than I already was, somehow.
Kristoff must have felt my mortification because his deep voice got a little softer.
“I know you’re trying to please yourself, to take care of your need on your own, but you can’t, Charlotte. You’ve reached the point where you need someone else to help you.”
I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. “This whole thing where you can feel my emotions,” I said at last. “It seems really unfair. Why can’t I feel yours too?”
He shook his head. “The bond between the Empress and her Imperial Guards goes in one direction only. The only way you could feel my emotions is if we were mated and I bonded you to me.”
“And how…how would you do that?” I asked, my heart suddenly pounding much harder.
“Through sex…making love.” Kristoff’s voice had been a soft, deep growl. “True mating and bonding sex requires deep penetration and the male must fill his goddess with his seed.”
“So…that’s all it takes?” I whispered, squeezing my thighs together under the water as I imagined him inside me, filling me, fucking me… “Just penetration and, uh ejaculation?”
“No.” He shook his head. “If that was all, half the population would be wrongly bonded to a mate who wasn’t suitable for them. We believe there is, for each person in the galaxy, a ‘fated mate’—one whom you are destined to be bonded to for life. This is determined by the Goddess of Mercy, who is always seeking to propagate love among her people. When you make love with that one person the Goddess has meant for you, then and only then can a bond be formed.”
“What if it’s a person everyone else thinks is wrong for you?” I asked softly. “What then?”
Kristoff had stroked a strand of hair out of my face and looked at me. There was sorrow and regret in his rapidly shifting eyes.
“The will of the Goddess usually prevails. But not in all cases, my Lady. Now, will you allow me to help you from the bath and get you dressed? I have a light meal prepared for you and then we’ll make our way to the House of Goddess Pleasures.”
That had been the end of our conversation—and the end of me trying to “take care of” my problem myself. If Kristoff was right—and he had been right about everything else so I had no reason to doubt him—then what I needed was an outside touch. That was because the Goddess needed physical worship and as her scion here in the physical realm, I shared her needs and channeled them.
I didn’t know how much or how little of that I believed but I had felt the immense surge of power when I had been Invested as the True Incarnation of the Empress, not to mention the hot wave of lust and need that had followed it. I thought it was probably better to err on the safe side and do what Kristoff said was necessary.
But I couldn’t help wishing it was Kristoff who was going to take care of me. Please, Kristoff, can’t you promise me you’ll be the one to help me in the House of Pleasures? I wouldn’t mind going there and doing this if it was you. A dozen times the words rose on my lips and a dozen times I swallowed them back down.
You can’t ask that of him. He’s not allowed to or he would have said so—you know he would have. You’ll just have to deal with it, I lectured myself. And besides, maybe it won’t be so bad. It’s all going to be completely anonymous. Just try to relax and enjoy it…
Right. There was no way I was enjoying this, no matter how much my body declared that it needed a release. But there was no way out of it now—I would just have to suck it up and deal with it.
Sooner than I liked, the golden carriage pulled up before a tall, temple-like structure made of smooth, white marble. Four graceful columns flanked an arched entryway and there were people of both sexes ascending and descending the marble stairs that led up to it.
Kristoff got out first and motioned for me to pull my hood over my face to hide my identity. Many of the other women I saw were also wearing hoods or cloaks, though some wore masks instead. The males wore black leather masks that concealed their features, and I understood that other steps were taken inside to further preserve anonymity.
“Come, my Lady,” Kristoff murmured, handing me down from the carriage, which was drawn by a lovely white horse-type creature with six legs instead of four. It snorted and tossed its head, its silky mane flying as I stepped down, holding tight to Kristoff’s hand.
He led me up the marble steps and I kept my head down, glad that no one seemed to have recognized me.
Beneath the long, hooded cloak I wore, I felt my special Goddess Pleasure gown shift against my bare skin. It was made of the same thin, silky material as the sleeping garment Kristoff had gotten the magic bureau to make for me and it felt strange to be out in public in what felt like a nightdress.
Only this nightdress had several special features.
I preferred not to think about them now, however. I was just glad that the hooded cloak covered everything and dreaded taking it off.
At the top of the steps, we were met by a priest with brownish-tan skin in a long gray robe. He had serene gray eyes that matched his robe and an air of calm about him.
“Good morrow, my Lady. Good morrow, Sir,” he greeted us. “Have you come to be served and to be of service both in turn?”
“Are you Brother Selbert?” Kristoff asked in a low voice.
“As a matter of fact, I am.” The priest nodded. “How can I be of assistance?”
Kristoff leaned closer and spoke in a low voice I couldn’t catch. The priest’s gray eyes widened and flickered over to me for a moment. Then he nodded.
“Of course. Come with me, if you please.”
I wasn’t sure what Kristoff had said—something about discretion probably, because instead of leading us through the broad, main entrance, the priest led us around to a smaller, more private door. He rapped on it and after a moment it opened and he ushered us inside.
“This is the private area where goddesses of Royal blood may receive pleasure and release,” he told us in a low voice. “My Lady, if you would come with me, I will show you to a private pleasure chamber.”
“I…don’t know.” A sudden attack of nerves made my hands shake and my palms sweat. Was I actually going to do this? Was I really going to go into a “pleasure room” and let some stranger touc
h me?
I can’t do this, I thought. I just can’t.
“My Lady, you need this,” Kristoff murmured to me. “Please go and do not be afraid. I swear that I will personally make certain he who attends you has only your safety and best interest at heart.”
“All…all right,” I whispered. “I’ll try, I guess.”
“Is my Lady unused to being pleasured?” the priest asked, frowning a little.
“She comes from a place where there are no Goddess Pleasure Houses,” Kristoff explained. “She is as a maiden who has never visited the Pleasure House before.”
“I see.” The priest inclined his head. “Well, my Lady, I vow to you that all who serve here have had extensive training and can be extremely gentle if you so desire.”
“As to that…” Kristoff cleared his throat. “I have a specific request regarding who shall be allowed to touch and service my Lady.”
He leaned in to speak to the priest again and I saw the other man’s gray eyes grow wide and then narrow.
“I don’t know,” he said, frowning. “Such a request is…most irregular.”
“It is necessary,” Kristoff said firmly and I wondered what his request had been. He probably wanted a background check on the guy who was going to be “servicing” me—ugh, just thinking that word made me cringe. I really didn’t see how I could go through with this.
“Well…” The priest still looked doubtful, but at last he nodded. “Very well.”
“Thank you.” Kristoff looked at me. “It is arranged, my Lady. You can go to the pleasure room with confidence and find your release.”
“Um, sure. Thanks, I guess,” I mumbled. I still wished it could be Kristoff that touched me—Kristoff that pleasured me. Once more the words trembled on my lips and once more I swallowed them down.
“Come,” the priest said and this time, I went with him.
What else could I do?
Chapter Twenty-six
Charlotte
“This is the pleasure room,” the priest with quiet gray eyes announced, opening a small ivory door, elaborately carved and outlined in gold.
Inside, I saw a small, round room as plush and luxurious as the inside of the genie bottle in the old I Dream of Jeannie re-runs I used to watch as a kid. The rounded, curved walls were decorated in patterns of gold, peacock blue, and teal and there were cushions in the same array of colors everywhere. Bisecting the room was a long, royal blue curtain that went from the curved ceiling all the way down to the floor, cutting the room exactly in half. The floor, which was gold and green, was made of a firm pillow-type material that gave when I stepped on it. Hanging overhead was an elaborately curved lamp which gave off a dim, golden glow and the faintest, spicy hint of incense.
“Please remove your shoes, goddess,” the priest murmured. “And here is Aliza who will help you prepare and answer any of your questions before your pleasure attendant comes in.”
“Welcome, my Lady.” Aliza bowed low as I stepped out of the soft golden slippers Kristoff had given me to wear with my gown. She was a girl not much younger than me with the dark blue hair of most Majorans and a serious look on her lovely face.
“Um, hi,” I said uncertainly as the priest bowed and left, shutting the door behind us. “How are you?”
“I am of no consequence,” she said, bowing again. “It is you who have come here seeking service and release.”
“Um, not really.” I could hear the nervousness in my voice but I couldn’t seem to stop it. “See, I really didn’t want to come here. It was my doctor’s idea—I mean, my healer’s idea. But I really don’t think I need this. I mean, I feel fine so maybe I should just go.”
“No, my Lady—you must stay.” Somehow Aliza had insinuated herself between me and the exit door, blocking it with her body. “You don’t need to be nervous,” she said gently. “I understand it’s your first trip to a pleasure house but I swear to you that you will find only pleasure here—never shame or pain. Unless pain is what you wish?”
“Pain? Oh, no—no, I’m not, uh, into all that 50 Shades stuff,” I babbled. “I mean, I guess I could see the bondage part of it being fun but whips and chains just don’t…don’t do it for me. I mean…”
I trailed off, seeing that she had her head cocked to one side and was looking at me curiously.
“Never mind,” I said miserably. “I guess the best thing to do is just get it over with.”
“Get it over with?” Her eyes widened. “My Lady, it is our hope that you will never wish the pleasure to end.”
“Uh, you can keep hoping that then,” I said. “Anyway, please just tell me what I’m supposed to do and what’s going to happen?”
“First we must remove your cloak.” She suited actions to words, unfastening the cloak from around my neck and taking it away to drape it over part of the long, cushioned blue couch against the wall.
I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself at once, trying not to let the gown I was wearing gape open.
Remember I said that the gown had “special features”? Well, it did, in the form of two long slits on either side of the front of it, right over my breasts. That wasn’t a problem as long as my nipples weren’t hard, but once they got tight and achy with need, as they were now, they poked out the slits in the front of the gown. Actually, Kristoff had explained as he was putting the gown on me, the slits were meant to allow the entire breast to poke out of the dress for easier access.
The bottom of the long, silky gown, was cut in a wide, inverted V with the point right below my navel. Which meant it left my sex completely bare. I had begged to wear even a tiny pair of panties but Kristoff had told me sternly that undergarments were not allowed in the House of Goddess Pleasures because they interfered with the access of the pleasures attendants servicing the females who had come for a release.
So now I stood there, barefoot and exposed, crossing my arms over my chest where my nipples kept wanting to jut out of my gown and squeezing my thighs together to hide my sex. I had trimmed the golden curls between my thighs considerably during my bath but they still felt horribly visible in the dim light of the pleasure room.
“My Lady, you have no need to hide yourself or be nervous,” Aliza said, coming back to me. “Let me instruct you in what is to happen during your pleasuring.”
“Okay, thanks,” I said numbly. I felt a little like I had the one and only time I’d gone to get a massage when the attendant told me to take everything off but my underwear and lay on the massage table face down and practically naked. The massage had been a birthday gift from Zoe, who thought it might help me “loosen up.”
She was wrong.
Getting a massage had been a horribly uncomfortable experience because I just couldn’t relax. I don’t mind touching other people when I examine them as a physician because that’s part of the job. But I don’t like strangers touching me. Not even well-meaning strangers who only want to help me.
Something told me the “pleasuring” I was about to undergo was going to be about ten times worse than the massage. After all, during a massage, they only touch the non-sexual parts of your body. Unless you go to one of those skeevy places that offers ‘happy endings’ I guess, but they’re really more for men. At least, I had never heard of a woman going to one.
Which is because women don’t usually feel comfortable letting strange men touch their erogenous zones—at least not in the culture I was from. Majoran culture appeared to be completely different but just because I was supposed to be their Empress didn’t mean I could suddenly adopt their attitude about letting strangers grope my Lady bits. In fact, just the thought of some strange man pawing my breasts and feeling between my legs was enough to make my entire body clench with dread.
Ugh, I really, really didn’t want to do this!
“Come with me,” Aliza said, taking my arm and leading me to the curtain. Now that I was closer to it, I saw that it wasn’t all one whole piece of cloth. Instead, it was made of long strips, each about
as wide as my hand, which were strung together.
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked. There was a knot of tension building in my stomach that made me feel slightly ill.
“Simply kneel upon the floor and press your breasts through the slits in the curtain,” Aliza said, as though it was the easiest thing in the world. She took my hand and helped me get settled in the position, nudging me forward until my breasts were thrusting out through the curtain. “Make sure to keep your legs spread wide as well, my Lady,” she said, nudging me again until I opened my knees. “The one who is to service you will come in through the door at the other side of the curtain and kneel before you to pleasure you with his hands and mouth.”
“Will he be wearing a mask?” I asked, my mouth so dry I could hardly speak. I couldn’t believe I was in this vulnerable, sexual position with my bare breasts out in the open and my thighs spread wide to show my naked sex.
“He will, my Lady,” she assured me. “And in addition, I can dim the lights if you so choose.”
“Yes, please,” I said fervently. In my opinion, the less I could see of the guy who was “servicing” me and the less he could see of me, the less awkward this whole thing would be.
“As you wish.” She looked up. “Lights, dimmest setting. And soothing music, too, I think.”
At once the already low lighting sank to the level of a single candle, making it difficult to see anything in the small, plush room. From somewhere the soft, hypnotic sounds of a flute began to play. It didn’t do a thing to soothe me, though—my nipples were tight with fear and I felt cold all over.
“And now I will leave you to get your release.”
Aliza bowed and I realized that once she left, I would be committed to going through with this crazy thing.
“Wait!” I said quickly, looking up at her from my vulnerable kneeling position. “How long exactly is this, uh, going to last?”
“Why, until you have a release of course, my Lady,” she said, as though it was self explanatory. “Though if you have need of more than one release, simply tell your pleasure attendant and he will continue until you are completely satiated.”
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