by Vivian Arend
“The rumours how the Hansol girls are loose and easy? You don’t have to try to protect me, Joel.” She glared up into the tree where the leaves were slowly changing colour. “I’ve heard pretty much everything you could repeat. Hell, Eric Tell doesn’t even feel the need to temper his talk during full daylight in public places.”
“Yeah, but he’s an asshole.”
She snorted. “No arguments there.”
Joel reached for her hand. “We could do this. We can make sure it’s crystal clear it’s just you and me involved, and frankly…”
He trickled to a stop. Vicki’s body language was all tied up tight, and she wasn’t giving an inch yet. She’d been honest with him about her fears? Maybe she needed a little reciprocated honesty.
“In a way, you’d be doing me a favour. You know that reputation you’re worried about? Jesse’s and mine?”
Lord, the faces this woman could pull.
“If you two were women you’d have been painted as harlots ages ago. Instead you’re held up as sexual heroes.”
“I know, it’s damn unfair, but honestly I’m getting tired of it. It’s time to get this town to see me and Jesse in a different light, and you and I dating would help a lot.”
Vicki stepped back a pace, freeing her hand, her alert gaze looking him over. “And Jesse’s going to simply agree with you? Because if he fucks around, it won’t help either of our situations.”
“I’ll take care of Jesse.” Confidence was rising. “Not a problem.”
“And you’ll help me get over being afraid of horses?”
“I’ll give it a shot.”
Vicki stared out over the water for a minute. “We’re both crazy, but it might work. You’re right. I shouldn’t give a damn what the town thinks, especially if I’m leaving, but I still do. I want what I shouldn’t bother wanting.”
“You’re not your family. You’ve got every right to change the things you don’t like about your life.”
God, listen to him. He was still finding his own way and now he was giving out advice?
When she turned, some of the bounce was back, a touch of the anger, but now, something else as well. He waited for her to share whatever was going on in that intriguing mind.
Vicki stepped in close.
“You’re right. It’s time to get moving forward with my life. So what do I want?” She took a deep breath as if gathering her courage. Then she held up one finger. “I want you to teach me to deal with the bloody horses.”
Joel grinned as he dipped his head in acknowledgement.
A second finger rose. “I want people to stop talking about me like everything my family does is etched on my back simply because we share a name. If you’re brave enough to try and help me fight that bullshit, I’d be damn grateful.”
“Deal.” A trickle of pride in doing something honourable—doing something that could make a difference in a person’s life—struck again. Even though he’d get some benefit down the road, it was going to take some energy to accomplish this.
He was ready for the challenge.
Then she caught hold of his shirt and leaned in. “And just so you know, that girlfriend thing? I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend before.”
Both her actions and her words made something inside tighten as he fought to understand. “You’ve never had a steady boyfriend?”
She moved in close enough their lips were nearly touching as she whispered the words. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, period. I want to learn all there is about being a girlfriend, Joel. Everything. And I want you to teach me.”
Chapter Four
Joel’s brain wasn’t working properly. Even skimming through what he knew, her words didn’t make sense. “Vicki…”
She released him and backed up. “Great, I did that well, didn’t I?”
He grabbed her wrist before she could run away. “Would you slow the hell down? And explain a little better? I’m just…what do you mean no boyfriends?”
Vicki heaved out a huge body-shaking sigh. “Okay, I did have one boyfriend. Back in fifth grade, Danny Webster gave me a Valentine’s card that said ‘Will you be mine?’ For three days straight we sat on the swings during lunch and talked. I figured he was working his way up to stealing a kiss by Friday or something. Only my older sister Sarah got in trouble, and Danny’s parents said I wasn’t a nice girl to spend time with, so he dumped me the following day.”
Grade five? She was going back to grade five to find a guy she’d been interested in? He was sure there’d been another huge blow-up just a couple years ago.
“But you went out with Eric Tell in high school.”
Her lips pressed together into a tight line. “Now we’re back to secrets, and I’m not ready to share that one. I know from watching people what a girlfriend does, yet I’ve never done it, okay? And before I get the hell out of this godforsaken town I want to experience them at least once. The little things. And the big things.”
She caught his gaze, the dark honey gold in her brown eyes seeming brighter than ever. “I’m trusting you with a lot, Joel Coleman. Please don’t let me down by talking out of turn.”
Then as if she couldn’t maintain eye contact, she stared at his fingers. He wasn’t sure when he’d begun to rub his thumb over the inside of her wrist. It had started without thinking, her soft skin drawing him. He’d love to take that stroking touch and slip up to the inside of her elbow, teasing her along the way with delicate kisses.
“I can keep a secret,” he reassured her. Being her boyfriend wasn’t going to be a sacrifice at all, but holy shit— “Little things like…?”
“I’ve never held hands with a guy,” Vicki whispered, trying to tug her hand free. “I’ve never been kissed.”
Sweet mercy. Joel’s pulse picked up. “And the big things?”
He had a good idea by now, no matter how impossible it seemed.
Vicki lowered her chin and looked him in the eye as she spoke. “I’m a virgin. In everything. So if you’re up for the challenge, go ahead, teach me to ride.”
The response of “you’re fucking kidding me” wasn’t the right one, but damn, he’d never been so tongue-tied in his life. Her wrist slipped from his fingers, and she moved away, staring down the ravine at the creek.
Silence stretched between them, different this time than before. It wasn’t him patiently waiting for her to gather her courage. This time there was anticipation along with the discomfort.
The discussion had totally not gone where he’d expected, and all his images of being a knight in shining armor and helping her redeem her name were buried under a sea of holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck…
Her being a virgin was impossible, and yet why would she lie? And she wasn’t lying, not that he could tell.
“I’m trying to absorb this, okay?” Joel spoke softly, like he would around skittish horses—ironic, that. He didn’t want to scare her off, but he needed time to process the information. “I’m totally going to work with you on the horse thing, and dealing with your fears will require us to at least pretend to date each other. All of that, I’m good with. I’ll do it.”
He stood and walked to her side. Vicki had crossed her arms over her chest and she wasn’t bouncing anymore. Just standing, motionless.
It was awkward, towering over her. He shifted uneasily on his feet before pulling her back toward the bench. “Sit, I want to ask you something.”
She went willingly enough, curling up on one side of the sturdy bench and drawing her legs to her chest. She wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on her knees. “I kind of blew your mind, didn’t I?”
He nodded. “I won’t push for the secrets right now, but…holy shit, yeah. I want to ask you something.”
She lifted her head and waited.
“Why me?”
A crease folded between her eyes. “Why you, what?”
Joel shrugged. “I promise to help you no matter what, so it’s not like we have to fool around to make this
work. If you’ve gone this long without having sex, why do you think you have to change things up now?”
“Because you don’t want to have sex with me?”
Oh God. He beat down the images flashing into his brain. “Because most women I know want sex to be something special. Especially their first time.”
Her mouth twisted into this teasing grin. “You saying you suck in the sack, Joel? That’s not what I’d heard.”
“You’re not making this any easier,” he complained.
“Look, if it’s too freaky to consider then, whatever. But sex is sex. I have my own reasons for not having had it until now, but…”
She turned those bright eyes his direction, and something inside just about melted. Whether it was from how hot she made him or her total lack of self-consciousness, he understood a little better what a deer felt like when the headlights hit them.
Vicki squirmed closer. “You’ve always been on my radar, although I never did anything about it, both because of my family and the you and Jesse thing. But honestly, if there’s anyone in this town I want to get intimate with, it’s you. So why don’t you think about it for a while and get back to me.”
The absurdity of her statement struck like a bat. “Call and let you know I’m okay with fucking you?”
“Don’t think being crude is going to scare me off.” She knelt on the bench. “And don’t be stupid. I feel like some hick-town kid as it is. What happens when I get the hell out of here, and I meet some guy I like? I’ll be all messed up and stereotypical, and I’m so goddamn over being left out. I want what I want for once in my life. And yes, that means I want to fuck you.”
There was just enough of the ridiculous in the situation Joel found his lips curling into a smile. His amusement increased instead of fading, especially when Vicki arched one perfect brow.
Her eyes widened. “You think this is funny?”
“Well, it sure as shit isn’t sad.”
Her lips twitched this time as well, and she bloomed. Sunshine in her eyes, delight dancing across her face. “You gonna help me, Joel Coleman?”
“Seems like we need to get this straight. We’re gonna help each other. You said you’ve never been a girlfriend, well, I’ve never had one either.” It was his turn to sit back and feel a little uneasy at her laughter. “Yeah, yeah, fine. I’ve had sex, and fooled around enough, but it’s always been just fooling around. Exciting, but over and done before it got serious.”
Vicki blinked hard. “This is not supposed to get serious, Joel. That’s not what I want at all.”
“It’s more serious than me picking you up at the bar and us going home for a few hours, isn’t it?” Her slow nod helped clarify his thoughts. “You have things you need to accomplish, and so do I. If we spend the kind of time together over the next while we’ll need to, it’s going to be more than a casual thing. And that’s okay. We can make this fun. I like the idea of having someone to call up who can come join me for…whatever. A movie, or a horseback ride, once you get comfortable, of course.”
“We’re going to bullshit ourselves as well as everyone else in town?” Vicki asked. “Gonna make us into some kind of special friends forever?”
She’d sat back on her heels, and Joel lifted a hand and brushed his knuckles along her cheek. “Who said it’s bullshit? There are things about you I already admire. Like, man, the way you were ready to take Eric’s head off in the café? Loved it.”
“That was terrible. I need to get over the flame-ups I tend toward as well.” She wrinkled her nose, and it was the cutest sight. “If I could trade in my temper for some cool horse sense, I’d do it in an instant.”
“Take your energy and redirect it. It’ll be fine.” He finally let his gaze go where he’d been longing, taking in the swell of her breasts, the trim cut of her waist. She filled her jeans nicely, but she wasn’t showing it off like…
He stopped and scratched his head to drag his thoughts away from the rest of the Hansol family and what they usually wore around town.
Okay, parts of this were going to be fun, and parts were going to be hellishly difficult. In the end, though, he would learn a few lessons, and so would she. With her leaving town in the spring, there was a solid deadline involved as well.
He could handle it. And enjoy it.
Vicki fidgeted where she perched on the bench. “Well, I suppose I should go. Let you think it over a little.”
He caught her and again prevented her from escaping. “Nothing to think about. Just one more question.” She stopped bouncing for long enough he rose to his feet and pointed at her motorbike. “Can I take her for a ride?”
All the sexual innuendo from their previous discussion left her confused for a moment as to what exactly Joel was asking. She didn’t think he was going to simply lay her out in the grass and fuck her right then and there. If he tried, she would give him a violent reason to change his mind.
She might be naïve, but she wasn’t an idiot.
She’d seen porn. Which, for the most part, seemed stupider and more hickish than she felt at times, but even they took a minute to move past the “bad cop pulls over the innocent-yet-way-too-busty miniskirt-clad speeder”.
But when he ran a hand over the leather seat of her bike, her earlier amusement returned with a vengeance. “Typical guy. You only want me for my Harley.”
Joel straightened from where he’d been examining the bike, his gaze coming down hard on her chest, lowering to between her thighs before rising back to her face. “Oh, darling, are you ever wrong.”
A flash of anger struck, and she turned away to hide her reaction.
She’d asked for this. He’d done nothing wrong, and taking it out on him would be stupid and ignorant, not to mention screw everything up before they even began.
She needed a minute to figure out how to deal with her conflicting emotions. Vicki forced all the enthusiasm into her voice she could muster, that is, she lied her fucking ass off. “Why don’t you take her for a spin. I’m going to hang out and relax for a minute.”
“Vicki? You okay?”
“Hell, yeah, just—like I said, I’ve never been here before.” She pointed down the riverbank. “I’m going for a walk. Take your time. You need a hand?”
Joel caved. There was no other reason her pathetic excuses worked, because he looked suspicious as hell. But he nodded and lifted the bike to vertical, rolling her out from under the tree and aiming her toward the main highway. “I’ll just try her for a bit. Always wanted a bike, just never seemed to get around to buying one.”
“She’s nice on the highway. Take as long as you want.” Vicki grabbed the helmet off the bars and pressed it to his side. “It’s not going to fit great, but wear it anyway.”
She waited until he’d cooperated, both of them real careful and polite. By the time Joel had mounted up, she was ready for him to be gone. She needed some space.
Vicki slipped down the bank before he even fired up the engine. The rush of water grew as the bike’s motor faded. The farther Joel got away, the more her surroundings were nothing but wilderness. Birds chirping every now and then. Mostly the water, and this weird creaking sound she finally figured out were the trees themselves shifting in the wind.
She found a flat rock right at the water’s edge and sat, a handful of pebbles at the ready.
Talk about an unexpected twist. Joel’s help with the horses was awesome. His promise to help her get a better name in the community, and keep Jesse out of it— Well, the first part of the deal had been wholly dependent on the second. She couldn’t get involved with two guys and make things anything but worse.
But being his actual girlfriend? Asking him to have sex with her?
My God, she’d slipped down the exact same path her sister and mother were walking. Using sex to get what she wanted. Only…
Only what she wanted was sex.
The first rock she tossed barely made a ripple. The current was strong enough the slight weight broke through the s
urface and vanished as if she hadn’t even been there. Vicki stared at the remaining rocks resting in her palm.
What she’d said she wanted was true. A way out. Which meant a future to look forward to. A little redemption from her past, in terms of people seeing her with new eyes.
And a present filled with pleasure. What the hell was wrong with that?
She wasn’t sure how long she’d sat there, stewing, tossing one stone after the other before a loud rumble sounded from the top of the ridge and Joel’s face popped into view. Vicki rose and brushed the dirt from her hands, adjusting her T-shirt before she stepped up the narrow path to his side.
He wore a huge grin. “That was awesome. Come on, I want to show you something.”
She took the helmet he offered. “Where are we going?”
He slipped forward on the seat. “Hop on. It’s better seen than explained.”
Chapter Five
For a moment, he wasn’t sure she would cooperate. Stubborn was too light a word to describe what he’d already discovered about Vicki.
“You don’t have a helmet,” she pointed out, the one he’d returned dangling from her fingertips as she clutched the straps.
“I’ll be real careful, and we’re not leaving Six Pack land. Come on, trust me.”
She slipped the helmet over her shining hair, and Joel twisted in the seat to let her hop on without him staring.
He wanted to stare. Oh my God, he wanted to strip her down and look his fill. He’d never thought before if he had a type. He’d loved the girls, and they loved him, and there hadn’t been much thinking beyond the physical pleasure they shared.
But if he had a type? Vicki was it. Typical male he might be, but those tits of hers caught his eye. It was the whole package he really liked, though. How small the rest of her was, the way her eyes lit up when she got pissed.
This unexpected turn of events was becoming more interesting as the day progressed.
She nudged his foot. “I can’t climb on without a boost.”