by Vivian Arend
Joel shrugged. “Your choice, but eventually you need to get up on a horse, and I see no reason to postpone it any longer. You’ve only got a couple more months before you have to give your final yes or no to the job.”
“I can’t even wait that long. It’s not fair to Karen if I bail at the last minute, and she has to scramble for a new cook.” Vicki fought with herself. He was right, and with all the practice she’d had building up to this moment, there was no reason not to try.
February had come damn fast, though, in the big scheme of things.
By now, she’d waded through enough sheep they really were nothing but walking bundles of fluff. She’d saddled and unsaddled the sawhorse so often she could buckle straps with her eyes shut.
Even spending time around Trigger had been built into her training. Since New Year’s, Joel had introduced one fresh challenge after another. He’d coaxed her from watching him walk the beast in a circle, to having her join them, to finally “helping” hold the lead rope.
Trigger seemed to think the entire exercise rather boring except that at the end of each lesson Joel always pressed a couple bits of carrot or apple slices into Vicki’s hand. The first day she’d been certain she’d end up with missing fingers, but now it was more a case of convincing the stupid oaf there were no extra treats in her pockets, because Trigger didn’t hesitate in sticking his nose where he had no right.
Today Joel upped the ante again. This was no longer leading the creature. He wanted her to get on its back and actually ride.
“Is it safe?” His snort of amusement pissed her off, and she smacked her fist into his chest. “Don’t do that.”
His arms went around her, settling and calming. “It’s okay. It’s more than okay. I’ll stick close beside you, and Trigger isn’t going to do anything to harm you.”
God. “You owe me a big-time reward for this.”
“Oral sex. Until you can’t stand.”
Vicki laughed even as she quickly glanced around the barn. “Damn it, Joel, stop.”
“The oral sex? No way, you’re too delicious. And the sounds you make when you’re coming?” He gave a low growl.
“Stop talking about it out loud,” she whispered.
If past history was any indication, somewhere in the barn, or outside and only moments away from springing around the corner, was bound to be a Coleman.
They had the stupidest luck when it came to being caught fooling around. The last time it had been Matt who’d backed out of the tack room with his eyes averted, huge grin on his face. Vicki’s cheeks flushed at the memory—being bent over the sawhorse and taken from behind had been fun, but she could do without everyone in the family knowing.
Although the fact they were fucking like bunnies was probably a given by this point.
Joel gave her his hand. “Come on, darling. You have big-girl boots, you can do this.”
She nodded and gripped his fingers tighter. Together they walked into the stall where Trigger was chomping the wisp of hay he’d pulled from in front of him. The yellow strawlike bit disappeared an inch at a time.
Vicki concentrated on keeping her breathing even. She had come a long way to be able to get this close to the beast without running in fear.
“You’re doing wonderfully.” Joel rubbed Trigger on the forehead. “Hello, dude. You ready to help take care of someone special for me?”
“Take care of.” Vicki shivered, but kept it under control. “Always sounds as if you’re going to drag me into the yard and bury me.”
“Nah. You’re too good at helping with my chores. No way do I want you gone.”
“Jerk.”
They smiled at each other, and suddenly, things were going to be okay.
They led the horse into the round pen. The motions of saddling him went smoothly, although Vicki stayed back as much as possible. Joel smiled, a knowing grin on his face as he tugged her forward and squeezed her tight. When he guided her to Trigger’s left side and stretched her hand upward to the pommel of the saddle, there was nothing but confidence in his actions. “Just like we’ve done a million times on Goliath.”
Her wooden horse for the win.
Vicki let herself go into auto-mode. Foot in stirrup. Hands on the saddle. With all the practice Joel had made her do, the next motions followed instinctively. She pushed up, lifted her leg over Trigger’s rump and, to her great surprise, ended solidly in position.
She was on a horse. “Fuck.”
Joel laughed, still holding onto Trigger’s halter. “You like it?”
“I’m…no, let’s not go that far.” She wasn’t throwing up, screaming or peeing her pants in terror. She’d take this as a great improvement. “Don’t you dare let go.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He smiled, and she beat down the impulse to tell him exactly what she felt. That expression of pride on his face did something to her. It wasn’t just that he had continued to fulfill their bargain. It was more.
The more than she’d grown to feel wasn’t hers to share. It was driving her crazy, but no way would she make sharing her new emotions a part of this deal. They’d set the boundaries. She wouldn’t cross them.
But would she ever love to be able to say what she’d learned. What was inside screaming to break out. How much she really cared about him. How much being with him had changed her and given her hope.
How much she loved him.
God, she was a stupid twit.
Joel patted Trigger firmly. “You two ready for the next thing?”
The juxtaposition of her thoughts and his comment made her want to cry. Yes, she was ready, for what was never to be…
“Okay.” The word came out a little creaky, but he probably blamed the hesitation on her fears, not on the lump of regret building in her throat.
Joel led Trigger forward slowly, and Vicki worked on releasing the death grip she’d taken on the pommel. Focused on using her thighs to grasp tighter. Her thoughts still raced far faster than Joel paced with the horse.
She was going to get her wish and get the hell out of Rocky. Escape the place that held so many terrible memories and had trapped her. Yet escape meant leaving behind all the good things she’d experienced in the past while.
Sadness coated the pleasure and left her cold inside.
She didn’t think it was all one-sided, either. He liked her as well. Everything about the man said he had some feelings for her—his gentleness and patience. It might have been a verbal deal between them in the start, but it must be more now.
Things had changed. She was sure of it.
Only if she told Joel how she felt, and he admitted this was more than a casual romp between friends? Then what the hell would they do?
She’d run into her mother in the grocery store the other day, and the meeting had left Vicki’s nerves on edge and brittle as Debbie let the accusations fly, cutting remarks that Vicki should be old enough to allow to roll off her back, but couldn’t.
Her sister’s behavior wasn’t any better. Sarah had been caught fooling around with another married man who should have known to keep his zipper up. But the ensuing rush of gossip meant the Hansol name got a fresh whipping through town, and the judgmental glances increased again. The snide remarks. The women who curled themselves protectively around their guys when she and Joel walked into Traders.
As if she’d want their men while holding on to Joel? Stupid bitches.
Still, the actions hurt. Another layer of pain to deal with. Which meant she was back to her dilemma. She could stay in town and continue to be dumped on, and maybe, if she were reading things correctly, she’d get to be with Joel. Or she could make a fresh start somewhere else without her heart.
Fucking great choices.
“You’re so comfortable up there you’re wool-gathering,” Joel teased.
Vicki dragged herself back to reality, shocked to find he was right. “Trigger is kind of like Goliath on steroids. He’s not as scary, because you’re holding him. Don’t stop hol
ding him or anything,” she hastened to add. “This is enough for now.”
Joel patted her leg. “You are doing great. Loosen up, though. If you sit like that for any length of time, you’ll be so sore at the end of the ride you’ll be walking funny.”
“Loosen up?” Vicki stared at her hands, at the saddle under her fingers. She had a hold on the leather, but she wasn’t white-knuckling it anymore. “I think this is about as loose as you’re going to get.”
He kept Trigger moving forward, but shifted closer. He slid his hand up her thigh. “No, I think you can do better.”
No bloody way. “Joel Coleman, if you’re going to start something sexual, you can fuck right off.”
His eyes widened. “Okay, you’re still a little stressed.”
“You think?”
Joel laughed. “I’m not headed for any intimate parts, darling. Trust me.”
That was the problem. She did trust him, and yet was it enough? “Don’t push me too hard. I’m going to break.”
He soothed her, and Trigger at the same time for all she knew, the sound stroking her, but it was too late. Tension had flooded in. Her heart rate had increased, and she really didn’t want to be there anymore.
Like some miracle worker he read her mind. “Come here.”
He opened his arms and she leaned over, clutched his neck and allowed him to pull her from the horse. He cradled her with one hand, pausing only to loop Trigger’s lead rope over a hook before carrying her out of the round pen.
Foolish regret washed over her in a wave. “Damn it, I was doing so well.”
“You are amazing. You got up on the back of a horse. All by yourself. That calls for a celebration.”
“More moonshine shots?”
He snorted. “Not likely. I think I mentioned something else.”
Vicki stared into his face as he carried her to the side of the barn. His eyes sparkled with mischief, his muscles tense under her fingers. “What are you planning…? Oh, you’re not serious.”
She caught hold tighter as he eased her between his body and the ladder fixed vertically to the wall. “The lesson isn’t finished.”
“Oh God, you’re insane.” The idiot went straight up the ladder and into the hayloft, carrying her body weight as well as his own as if she were a feather.
The lighting was thinner up here, no bright fluorescent bulbs overhead. Joel nuzzled her neck as he brought her to where the bales were stacked unevenly, a little bench all ready for him. He sat with her still in his arms, her knees ending up straddling him. “Stand up.”
“You just left Trigger loose in the arena. Saddled and bridled.”
He undid her jeans and tugged them off her hips. “You’re not listening to me.”
“You abandoned your horse.” Oh Lord, what was he up to? She caught his shoulders for balance as he pulled the fabric off one foot, then the other.
“Trigger will hang out until we’re done. It’s like saddle training them when they’re younger.”
Her fingers moved of their own accord and slipped through his soft hair. “Joel?”
He ran his hands over her naked hips, gaze lingering for a moment on her pussy before he met her eyes. “I want you.”
God. If only. Vicki batted down the emotions and slapped her brain until it was focused on nothing but the physical side of that comment. “I’m yours.”
If she’d expected him to go slow, she’d have lost the bet. He jerked her forward and covered her with his mouth, tongue dipping between her folds. His fingers gripped her ass cheeks as he squeezed and played, that damn talented tongue lapping her entire length before stopping to torment her clit.
She dug her hands into his hair and held on tight.
Enthusiasm he had in spades, no doubt about that, eating greedily, driving her crazy. One hand snuck around her hip, caressing her skin until a finger pressed into her, and she groaned out his name.
“You like this, hmm?” He pumped slowly, stroking the most sensitive spots inside, and her legs quivered. Another flurry of his tongue over her clit, and the first orgasm hit, her sheath clutching at the two digits he now spread her on. “Oh, darling, yeah. That’s the way. Cream on my fingers. Mmm, you taste good.”
She wanted him to shut up and get his tongue back on her, but the words were driving her as much as his touch. “Don’t stop.”
Begging. Begging for more, more than he could even know.
He licked and nibbled until she was ready to scream, the constant thrust into her sex flinging her closer to the edge so rapidly she couldn’t breathe. When he pulled his fingers free, she muttered unhappily.
“You just wait, I’m going to fill you up pretty good with something else.” He fumbled at his groin, and she peered down to see he had already rolled on a condom, his thick cock rising from his open pants.
“Hell, yeah.” Vicki dropped into his lap and speared herself on his erection, her head falling back in ecstasy as he stretched her wide. “Oh God, Joel.”
He caught her hips in his hands and rocked her up and down, the wide head of his shaft creating the perfect internal caress. “That’s it. Move over me. Use your thighs. Fuck, that’s good.”
Vicki leaned in and took his lips, the taste of what he’d been doing a moment earlier lingering on his tongue as he helped her fuck herself on his cock. All the way up until he’d nearly break free, then a hard plunge down, her body undulating over him.
He hummed against her lips. “Only thing that would make this better would you being butt-naked, those tits swinging every time you ride.”
Vicki closed her eyes and gripped his shoulders tighter. “Some other time.”
“Nice and smooth, right, feel these muscles?” He stroked her ass, her lower back, returning to massage her butt as he helped carry her weight. “Feel how relaxed you are? That’s the way to ride. Everything moving and easy.”
A stream of laughter bubbled up. “Joel Coleman, is this a riding lesson?”
He nuzzled her neck and brought their bodies closer, dragging a hand between them to tease her clit as he fucked deeper into her body. “Ride your cowboy, darling. Make it good.”
Pleasure broke and she couldn’t do more than gasp, words eluding her as her body caught hold of his cock and tore his orgasm free as well. Joel squeezed his eyes shut, and she stared into his face as he came, all control gone in that moment, nothing but the physical delight they’d shared.
The face of the man she’d fallen in love with.
A loud slam broke from the right, sunshine flooding over them as the hayloft doors swung wide to the cold bright day.
“Shit.” Joel jerked her jeans around her, attempting to cover her naked ass as Jesse stared at them from beside the open doors.
He took in their position, not giving them any privacy. His expression made it clear he was pissed.
“You mind?” Joel called.
“I’m doing my bloody work. Shouldn’t have to give a warning call before I walk into the damn barn. Just…” Jesse grabbed a bale and tossed it through the opening, “…fuck each other blind for all I care, but do it in the goddamn trailer. I’m moving out. You can have it to yourself and stop providing free shows for everyone in the family. Unless that’s part of what turns you on.”
He didn’t give them a minute alone. Vicki waited until his back was briefly turned so she could clamber off and race around the corner, hiding behind the bales as she scrambled to straighten her underwear and jeans. It was like some weird nightmare she couldn’t wake from.
“You’re moving out?” Joel repeated.
“Steve and Trevor have room for me in their place.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I think I do,” Jesse snapped. “I don’t want to talk about it. The decision is made.”
Vicki died a little more inside. She might not like Jesse very much, but this was her fault as well, coming between the brothers. Another part of why staying in Rocky wasn’t a good thing.
Joel
stepped into view and looked her over. “You okay?”
“Embarrassed,” she whispered. It wasn’t how she wanted this session to end. And it certainly wasn’t how she wanted Joel and Jesse to end, either.
Joel held out a hand, wrapping his fingers around hers and tugging her to his body. He kissed the top of her head. “Don’t be. Honestly.”
“Yeah, don’t be embarrassed,” Jesse cut in. “It’s not as if I’ve never seen ass—”
“Fuck off, Jesse,” Joel ordered.
The slam of another bale smacking into the bed of the pickup truck below rang like a warning klaxon in the silence that followed. Jesse glanced over one final time, then deliberately turned his back and returned to dropping bales.
Joel led her to the ladder and went down first. Vicki glanced over her shoulder to see Jesse staring after her, anger in his eyes, frustration and…a touch of sadness?
She swallowed hard and faced the wall. It wasn’t her place to make him happy. In fact, she couldn’t understand how the two brothers had turned out to be so different from each other. Guilt poked her even as she admitted she wanted nothing further to do with Jesse.
If she weren’t in the picture, would they be able to patch things up?
Falling in love wasn’t supposed to hurt this hard.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Twenty-one candles crowded the surface of the cake. Vicki stared, not so much in shock at the number of them, but at the entire celebration raging around her.
The Colemans had insisted on hosting her a birthday party.
“You need help?” Robbie leaned harder against her leg. He’d basically jumped her the moment she and Joel had walked into the big ranch house. Joel raised a brow, but said nothing when Robbie determinedly separated their linked fingers so he could take control and tug Vicki off.
And now, after the meal was over, she still had a cling-on by her side.
“I can help, if you’d like. I’m a good candle blower-outer.”
Beth laid a hand on her son’s shoulder. “Let Vicki have some of the fun, okay?”
“I don’t mind.” Vicki smiled at the little guy. She stopped herself before sharing she’d never blown out candles before, deciding last second her lack of experience wasn’t worth bringing up. She was getting the chance now, no matter that the occasion was bittersweet.