He’d left her apartment before sunrise, making himself scarce before her kids got up, then waited in his truck to drive her to work. He’d dropped her off just before the breakfast rush, and after promising he’d stop by for lunch, he’d kissed her scarred cheek.
The memory made her pulse stumble. What would it be like to kiss him? Not a chaste, sweet kiss like he’d startled her with after Hardin’s murder, but the kind of long, deep, soul-shaking kisses lovers shared. What would it have been like to lie down beside him on her narrow couch, nestle herself in the crook of his body and let him hold her in his arms?
She huffed, irritated by the track of her thoughts. She had no business considering such intimacies with Jonah. Wasn’t it bad enough that she’d grown so dependent on him that she didn’t feel safe in her apartment without him sleeping on her couch? She couldn’t add a physical relationship to the mix, couldn’t complicate a relationship that already confused her.
Annie wiped her damp palms on her apron and sent another glance to the front door as a new customer strolled in.
Not Jonah. She squashed the pluck of disappointment and took the bill slip and cash the man at the next table handed her as she walked past.
“Keep the change.”
“Thank you, sir.” She mustered a smile for her customer and headed back to the counter to ring up the sale. The mundane task was not enough to keep her head from straying back to the question, What was happening between her and Jonah?
The shared attraction was obvious. The common goal of rooting out and stopping the people threatening her life and running the money laundering at the diner was a given. But what about after that threat had been eliminated? Assuming they could find the people involved and stop them before—
“How was your class yesterday?” Susan asked, hustling in from the dining room with a tray full of dirty dishes.
Annie took a moment to focus her train of thought. “My class?”
“Yeah. When you asked me to cover your afternoon hours, you said you had some kind of class.”
“Oh, right. It was…fine.”
Susan tipped her head and grinned. “Fine? That’s all you can say? You sound like my kid. How was school? Fine. How’d you do on your math test? Fine.”
Annie dropped the change from the man’s ticket into the community tip jar. “Okay, it was…intimidating at first since it was my first time going. But I guess I learned a little bit.”
Susan grunted. “Better. So…what the heck kind of class are you taking down at the police station anyway?”
Annie shrugged, hoping to minimize the truth. “Self-defense. So, was the dinner hour busy last night?”
She prayed her change of topic would steer Susan away from questions about why Annie felt the need to defend herself or other queries of a personal nature. The less her coworkers knew about her private life, the better, as far as she was concerned. Especially when it came to her relationship with Jonah. If someone connected the two of them—
“Howdy, ladies.”
Annie’s head snapped up at the sound of the familiar baritone voice. As if her thoughts had conjured him, Jonah took a seat at the counter, dividing a smile between her and Susan. A thrill of pleasure spun through Annie, though she worked to hide her reaction. Curling her fingers into her apron, Annie bunched the material in her hand and gave Jonah a quick nod of acknowledgment.
“Order up!”
Annie rushed to the kitchen window and took down the plates waiting for her. Balancing the plates, two in her hands and two on her arms, she cast a furtive glance toward Jonah as she headed out to the dining room.
The heat and intimacy in the hooded glance he returned almost made her trip.
Oh, Lord, she was in trouble. How did she fight the powerful magnetic pull she felt toward him?
Jonah hadn’t had an opportunity to speak privately with Annie before he left the diner after lunch. He’d spent the better part of the morning going over the files they’d retrieved from Hardin’s locker at the bus depot. Based on the organization of the files, the specificity of the incriminating information in the documents and the detective’s name at the top of one of the most recent printouts, Jonah was convinced Hardin was working with Detective Nance to expose the money laundering. Whether as part of a plea arrangement, as revenge against the other parties in the criminal operation or out of some civic-minded sense of duty, Jonah had yet to determine. Hardin could have had any number of motivations for helping the Lagniappe police detective gather evidence, and dead men couldn’t explain themselves.
Which gave a new light to Hardin’s murder. Perhaps the manager’s death was less about the stolen package and missing money than it was about silencing an informant.
Had the higher-ups in the gambling and money-laundering ring suspected Hardin’s betrayal?
Jonah rubbed his temple, pondering all the new angles, as he parked behind the police station and headed in the back entrance to the gymnasium. In the men’s locker room, he began dressing in the bulky gear he wore for the self-defense class and wondered if Annie would show up.
Given twenty-four hours to assess her situation, had the attempt on her life yesterday fired her resolve to take back control of her life or had it scared her into retreat?
She’d all but ignored him at the diner today. Probably a smart idea. They were already risking a lot spending as much time together away from the diner as they did. Anyone could see them together on the street or outside her apartment.
Jonah bit the inside of his cheek as he mulled that point. While he didn’t want Annie and her kids alone in her apartment until he’d neutralized the threat against her, he couldn’t risk jeopardizing the investigation, either.
He’d have to devise a way to be more discreet about his arrival and departure from Annie’s home. Just in case her apartment was being watched.
After donning his protective gear, Jonah lumbered out to the padded mats where the women waited. He was relieved to see Annie sitting with the other ladies. Soon he needed to tell her the role he played in the class. Somehow keeping his identity secret felt like lying to her. But he hadn’t wanted to scare her away from the classes.
Jan acknowledged him and turned to the women. “Who wants to go first?”
Jonah glanced at Annie. She stared at the floor, but her body was stiff, her hands balled. Suddenly, she surged to her feet.
“I will.” Her voice was strong, yet Jonah heard the warble of nerves.
Pride swelled in his chest for her courage, her willingness to defeat the doubts and move forward.
Annie stepped forward, squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, but Jonah saw the shadows of trepidation darkening her eyes.
Come on, honey. You can do this.
“All right, Annie. Joe is going to be a kidnapper in a parking lot. It’s night, and he approaches you as you are walking to your car. What do you do first?”
Annie took a deep breath. “Warn him away.”
Jan nodded. “Right. Do that.”
Jonah moved toward Annie, taking an aggressive stance.
He saw the panic flare in her eyes. “No. Stop. Get back,” she said in a raised voice but without any real command.
Jonah kept coming.
“Louder, Annie. Say it like you mean it,” Jan coached.
Raising her hand, Annie stumbled back. “Stop!”
Nervous energy quivered in her voice.
Jan glanced at Jonah and waved him away. “Let’s try it again. Annie, put more force behind your words. Your tone has to tell him you will not be his victim. Stop!” Jan barked the word and several ladies, including Annie, flinched, startled by her shout. “Get back!” Jan tipped her head. “See the difference?”
Annie nodded, and Jan waved Jonah forward again.
He moved faster this time, growling as he lunged forward.
Annie gasped and threw her hand up. “Stop! Get back!”
Jan smiled and clapped. “Much better!”
Jonah l
umbered back, keeping an eye on Annie’s reaction.
She opened and closed her hands, then wiped her palms on her uniform skirt.
“Okay, now suppose he doesn’t stop. I want you to fight him off with anything and everything you’ve learned here. Don’t hold back.” Jan gave a nod to him, and Jonah sucked in a deep breath before closing in on Annie again. Bracing. Hoping.
Come on, Annie. Let me have it.
Raising wide, apprehensive eyes, Annie backpedaled. When he grabbed her arm, hauling her into a restrictive hold, she gasped, tensed.
“Fight back, Annie. Joe won’t hurt you, but a real attacker would. You can’t be afraid to inflict some damage yourself.”
Annie struggled some, tried a puny jab or two with her elbows. Jonah tightened his grip and stumbled back a step with her, simulating a kidnapping. “Get in the car,” he grated in a low voice.
Annie’s breathing grew ragged, fast. She was hyperventilating.
Without waiting for Jan’s directive, Jonah released Annie.
After giving Jonah a quizzical look, Jan noticed Annie’s irregular breathing.
“Annie, are you okay? Calm down. You’re safe here. This is just practice, remember. Do you want to sit down and rest a minute while someone else tries?”
Clutching a hand to her chest, Annie shook her head and fought to slow her breathing. “No. I—I have to try again.”
A mix of concern and admiration swirled in Jonah’s gut. He understood her motivation, knew the need that drove her. But the fear that brightened her eyes made her seem fragile, ready to break.
“You’re sure?” Jan asked.
Lifting her chin and inhaling deeply, she nodded. “Just…give me a second. I…” She shook out her hands and closed her eyes, clearly drawing on her inner strength.
A few members of the class clapped and shouted encouragement. “You can do it.”
“Go get ’em, girl.”
“Hang in there.”
When she opened her eyes and faced him, Jonah saw the same doubts and hesitation. The fear.
And he knew he had to do something. He had to make her dig deep into the well of her buried emotions, had to remind her of what was at stake, had to help her past the hurdle of intimidation her husband had heaped on her.
His heart hurt, even as he did what he knew would galvanize her.
“What’s the matter, bitch? Didn’t your old man ever teach you your place?” he growled from behind the protective mask.
Annie’s head snapped up, alarm blanching her face.
“Your kids are gonna grow up without a mommy, ’cause I’m gonna kill you,” he taunted in a dark growl, hating the pain he knew his barbs caused while praying his tactic worked.
From the periphery of his vision, he caught the stunned, querying glance Jan sent him. He was out of line, breaking protocol.
But he didn’t care. Only Annie mattered. She needed to get past her anxiety, and anger was the best way he knew to trump fear. He tapped into her protective rage. The fury of the injustice done to her. The hostility toward her husband that she’d suppressed for years.
The women watching murmured to one another with expressions of dismay and disgust. Annie gaped at him, quivering, her cheeks flushing, her eyes full of confusion, hurt and horror.
Pain squeezed his chest as he stepped closer and stuck his helmeted face close to hers, grating, “Are you going to let your husband win? Are you going to let fear win? As long as you listen to the doubts he put in your head, you give him power. If you want a better life for yourself and your kids, then prove it.”
Tears sparkled in her dark eyes. But he’d reached her. He saw the instant his message penetrated her fear. Like a light switch flipping on the power to her private reserve of energy and guts, Annie’s gaze lit with passion and determination. Her posture shifted. Her muscles tensed. Her expression filled with raw emotion and fire.
“Now hit me, Annie. Fight for your life, damn it. You deserve to live, and you deserve a good life. Now show me you care. Show me you want to be free of your past.”
Jonah grabbed her around the waist, and she reacted instantly, landing a swift knee to his groin. The blow had power behind it, strength and anger.
Thank God for the protective pads.
“That’s it, Annie. Fight back. Don’t give him an inch,” Jan coached.
Jonah made another move to subdue Annie, and she swung her hand up toward the face mask, demonstrating a nose strike. Jonah’s head snapped back from the unexpected force of the blow. The class cheered.
“Great job,” Jan said. “Who wants to be next?”
He shook off the hit and turned toward Annie. Despite Jan’s dismissal, Annie clearly wasn’t finished with him. She had a lethal glare narrowed on him, and she charged. Again she lashed out with a nose strike, then a strike to his throat.
“Annie?” Jan called to her, concern lacing her tone.
Annie didn’t seem to hear. Jonah recognized the intent, the emotion blazing in her eyes. She’d tapped a wellspring of poisonous memories, and the flow of bitter emotion had rushed to the surface.
He held a hand up, stopping Jan when she tried to approach Annie and calm her. Self-defense techniques dissolved into a flurry of unbridled frustration and hurt and anger. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she swung at him, pounding him with tightly clenched fists. Annie’s grunts of exertion and emotion as she pummeled his protective suit ripped through Jonah’s gut. This catharsis was good for her, he told himself, even as his heart broke seeing her unleash her temper, her suppressed bitterness and sense of helplessness.
After several minutes, when Annie’s rage hadn’t cooled, the first whispers of doubt crept in. What had worked for him when Michael had goaded him to release his bottled-up anger in the gym might not have been the best approach for Annie. Who was he to tell her how to heal?
His heart thundered, and worry wrenched his chest as her meltdown continued. She seemed to have blocked out all but the target of her flailing fists and feet. Teeth gritted, Annie sobbed and snarled and lashed at his chest. Even through the protective suit the force of her blows reverberated through him.
“Jonah, stop her. She’s going to hurt herself,” Jan called to him over the buzz of the stunned women who watched.
“Annie, that’s enough.” He tried to catch her swinging hands, but the protective suit made him awkward.
“You animal! How could you do this to me?” she screamed, her eyes unfocused. He hated to think what horrible beating, what demeaning taunts she was reliving. Seeing her anguish clogged Jonah’s throat with regret and sympathy. Shared pain.
His hand came away with a smear of red on his palm. Blood. Annie’s blood.
She’d opened wounds on her knuckles from the force and frequency of her strikes to the padded suit, but she seemed oblivious to the condition of her hands.
Guilt swelled in Jonah. He’d provoked her, he’d goaded her into this rage. He had to do something to stop her, had to talk her down somehow and be there for the aftershock.
Chapter 14
“Annie, stop! It’s over!” Jonah yanked the face mask off, so he could see more clearly. So she could see his face and know who was with her. So he could claim responsibility for his part in her breakdown.
He wouldn’t hide from his part in this.
Her lashes kept coming, though she seemed to be running out of steam.
Around them, he was aware that Jan had dismissed the class and ushered the other ladies out of the gym.
Following her violent outburst, her uncontrolled sobs, Annie gasped for breath. Her final swings were devoid of energy.
“Annie! Annie, listen to me. I’m here. You’re safe. It’s over.” He gently swiped a tear from her cheek. “It’s over, honey.”
Stiffening, she jerked her gaze up, blinked at him. Confusion muddied her expression.
He peeled open the top Velcro fastenings of the padded armor and shucked his arms out so that the pads hung from his waist. Swe
at plastered his T-shirt to his chest, but, free of the suit, he could at least breathe easier, move without so much bulk.
“Annie? Are you with me? Are you okay?”
Her breathing was still ragged, and her eyes flashed with turbulent emotions.
Jan crossed from the gym door where she’d seen the class out. She brought an ice pack and a clean rag with her, both of which she handed to Jonah. “Want me to stay, to talk to her?”
He shook his head. “No. I’ll take her home when she’s ready. Go on.”
“You’re gonna be okay, friend.” Jan squeezed Annie’s shoulder, and Annie flinched.
Jonah extended a hand, unsure how he’d be received. “Come ’ere, honey. You’re safe now. Take a deep breath.”
Slowly Annie’s surroundings sharpened into focus through her tears.
The gymnasium at the police station. The self-defense class. But everyone else was gone. She was alone with “Generic Joe.”
She gave her head a clearing shake. The memories had seemed so fresh, so real.
But Walt wasn’t there.
Jonah was.
She narrowed her gaze on him, wondering if he was another illusion.
Jonah was Joe? He’d been the one taunting her, egging her on to vent her rage?
She rubbed her arms. The air-conditioning blowing on her perspiration-damp body left a chill on her skin. Or maybe the iciness came from the remnants of her flashback, the wake of her tantrum.
She’d really lost it. Snapped. The anger, once she’d allowed it to sneak to the surface, had almost consumed her.
Annie shivered, stunned by the power of the fury and loathing that had washed through her. Fresh tears puddled in her eyes. Would she ever feel normal again? Would Walt always taint her life, even from behind bars? Could she ever heal the deep emotional scars he’d gouged in her soul?
“Annie?”
She raised her gaze to Jonah, who studied her with a dark veil of concern shading his expression. A prick of embarrassment jabbed her. What must he think of her after witnessing her meltdown?
She sniffed and wiped the wet tracks from her face. “Sorry, I—”
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