by Tay Marley
He was so sweet. His blue, collared T-shirt looked perfect against his skin tone. I watched him with a ridiculous smile, letting his plans sink in. He spoke as though there wasn’t a thing to be worried about. Like no matter what happened, it would be him and me. And we’d be fine. The only furniture stores that I’d ever bothered setting foot in were secondhand ones. They all had the distinctive scent of mothballs and must. There was none of that here. It smelled like clean material: brand new leather, fabric cleaners, and wood stain.
“So, which one should we get?” he asked. “It can be our first purchase together toward our apartment.”
“Leroy, I can’t afford this. I’m running low on savings and I’m going to need something to put toward the baby things.”
He shook his head from side to side with an amused smile and sighed. “Baby, you need to stop stressing out,” he wrapped his arm around my waist. “I’m going to take care of you. Always.”
It was so hard to believe that he wanted to look after me so much. But at the same time, I knew that he meant what he said. “I wonder if I can get a job for the rest of the summer?”
“Els, summer is over in a couple of weeks,” he laughed. “Wait until we get back to Waco if you want to work that badly. But you don’t have to.”
“I want to,” I said, dropping into a plush corner sofa with an intricate pattern and detailing. It was a rich blue with tones of black weaved throughout the patterns on it. And it was comfortable. “I’m sure I can find something for a few months until I can’t work anymore. I love this one, by the way.”
Leroy smiled and sat down beside me. “This one it is, then.”
“Where are we going to put it until we move?”
“I’ll get the store manager to ship it to us on a set date. He knows our family. It’ll be no problem.”
There was still a lot that we had to figure out before we went back to Waco in a few weeks. We had to decide where we’d live. It had to be close enough to school that Leroy could get to and from without hassle. He was planning on living on campus in student housing, but that plan wasn’t going to work with a girlfriend and child.
“What are you thinking about?” Leroy interrupted my internal churning as he wrapped an arm around me and I realized that I had been gnawing on my lip.
“Where we’ll live. Rent. Furniture.” My stomach started to feel like it was in knots, twisting and making me nauseous. “There’s just so much—”
“Listen.” He pulled me tighter against him and I rested my head on his shoulder, letting his presence calm me. “I know things haven’t come easy to you. But my parents are sitting on a comfortable fortune. Dad was in the NFL for years and they don’t splash their funds about. I know it sounds like a rich kid thing to say, but they can help us, and it won’t make a dent in their account. Just let them help. All right? It’s okay.”
It made sense. I knew they did well for themselves. But money was something I had stressed over since I was young. We could never have gone out and spent it without saving for what we wanted first. Momma had taught me to be cautious and attentive to what I was doing with my allowances. It was odd to have this list of things that we needed and not have to worry because it would just be made available to us.
Leroy made arrangements for the sofa. He paid for it and said he’d be in touch with a date and location drop-off. We also decided to do the rest of our furniture shopping in Waco once we had an apartment, which was on our list of to-dos. We needed to spend a weekend viewing places so that we could apply. I felt a little nervous about being back in Waco so soon after the dispute with Momma. Some irrational part of me was afraid that I would bump into her.
But I knew where she worked and spent most of her time. So, I was sure that I could avoid those particular places. When we arrived home from furniture shopping, Eleanor was in the living room, sitting on the floor with boxes surrounding her. Jacob was reclined in his chair with a beer, as usual. Both of them greeted us when we strolled in and sat on the sofa.
“Good day?” Jacob asked.
“We bought a sofa,” Leroy said as his mother paused what she was doing and stared at us. “It’s for when we move. I’m having it sent to Waco.”
She raised her brows but made no further comment as she reached back into her boxes. “You got it from Furniture Tree, I hope?”
“Yeah, we did,” Leroy said. “What’s all this?”
“It’s old baby things.” Eleanor’s expression brightened as she held up an adorable onesie and waved it about. “We kept sentimental things from when you and Noah were babies. You two can go through and have a look. See if there are bits that you’d like to keep. There are a lot of gender-neutral items. But you can have the blue outfits as well if you have a boy.”
I was almost bouncing out of the seat at the thought of looking through Leroy’s old baby items. He gestured for me to go ahead. My heart couldn’t handle the excitement. I stood up as Noah came strolling down the step and into the living room.
“Damn, girl,” he hollered as I held an outfit in front of me. “Filling out there a little, huh, Ellie? Maybe lay off the donuts.”
“Noah, shut the hell up,” Leroy snapped.
He leaned on the wall and sniggered. “I’m kidding. I know it’s the baby. Shit, man. I’m teasing.”
I stared down in front of me and after a moment I noticed what he meant. I was protruding a little, which seemed odd for how far along I was. It couldn’t have been a matter of getting the dates wrong, considering I’d been a virgin before Leroy.
“Oops,” Noah laughed. “Leroy didn’t tell you that you can’t wear crop tops anymore, huh?”
“Buzz off,” Jacob snapped at his son and waved his hand toward the corridor. “Stop being a pain in the ass.”
“Honey,” Eleanor captured my attention. “Don’t listen to him. You still look wonderful. You’re just starting to show. It’s normal. And beautiful.”
“But I’m only eleven weeks,” I said. “I shouldn’t be showing this soon.”
“Nonsense,” she said and stood up, grunting a little from sitting on her legs. “We all carry differently. And you’re so little. I’m not surprised at all. There’s not a lot of room in that belly of yours.”
Leroy sauntered over to my side and let his large palm slide across my stomach, the touch sending a chill right up my spine. He kissed my forehead and his lips remained against my skin when he whispered, “You look perfect.”
On Thursday, my leg bounced up and down. The plastic chairs squeaking because I couldn’t stop fidgeting. Leroy placed his hand on my knee, and I looked up to find him regarding me with a small but knowing smile. Saying that I was nervous was an understatement. But how could I not have been? We were about to see our baby on screen.
It was a good kind of nervous.
“Relax, Els,” Leroy whispered, leaning in a little closer. “It’s going to be fine.”
“I know. I’m good. I’m fine.”
“Makes it all real, huh?”
His hand gave mine another squeeze and the fact that he understood me so well was comforting in a form all of its own. This did make it all real. This was the beginning of the rest of our lives. Seeing our baby would make it official in such a concrete manner. But with Leroy, I was ready for this. I could do anything with him beside me.
“Ellie Livingston?”
We both snapped our heads in the direction of the woman who waited at the threshold at a set of double doors. Leroy stood up, took my hand, and we wandered over to where she was waiting for us.
“Hi, Ellie.” Her smile was warm, her narrow nose was pierced, and she extended her hand for me to shake. “I’m Pira. I’ll be your technician this morning. Are you Dad?”
Leroy nodded and shook her hand before we followed her down a corridor with harsh artificial lighting, clinic awards on the walls, and the overwhelming sc
ent of sanitizer and latex gloves. We reached door number six and Pira let us go ahead.
“Just hop up on the bed, Ellie. Lift your top to beneath the breasts and unbutton your jeans. We have to get the wand quite low on the abdomen because the baby is still very hidden at this stage. The notes said you’re aware of conception date?”
Leroy stood behind me on the other side of the narrow bed, his hand resting on my shoulder while I adjusted my clothes to expose my stomach like she’d asked. Pira fell into a roller chair before she slid toward me with a clipboard and pen.
“It was the twenty-eighth of May,” I said and Pira smiled as she scrawled something down on her clipboard.
She went over a few basic questions about my health, how I had been since discovering that I was pregnant, etc. Basic medical questions.
Before much longer we were watching the computer screen that Pira was organizing. She switched it on and squirted some blue gel onto my tummy, which made me wince with the cold. Also, because I’d had to drink about twenty gallons of water right before this, I felt like I was going to burst. She placed the handheld device on my stomach and the computer screen became bright with a black-and-white image. My name was in the top corner, next to the date: Thursday, August 6, 1998.
I had no idea what I was looking at while Pira continued moving the wand over my stomach.
“Well,” she turned toward us and looked at Leroy, nodding. “That is a set of twins in there.” Leroy’s hand became tighter and he stared at the screen with a dropped jaw.
“What?!”
Twins.
What?
“These two little blobs are the babies—if I pause the image, you can see both of the hearts,” Pira pointed at the screen. “And these here are the outlines of their separate sacs. Which means that they’re not identical. Of course, we couldn’t determine their gender this soon. But congratulations. You get two for the price of one!”
“Take it back!” I said, terrified.
“Els,” Leroy murmured and tucked his finger under my chin so that I had to meet his irrationally calm expression. “It’s going to be fine. Calm down.”
“There are two babies growing inside of me. Don’t tell me to calm down. I want a refund.”
He took a deep breath and gave the doctor an apologetic smile. I was aware that I was going off the deep end. But I couldn’t breathe. I’d had a hard time accepting that I was pregnant with one child. Now I would be giving birth to two. It was a lot more than I’d signed up for and the reality felt like it was going to suffocate me.
“Do you two want a minute alone?” Pira gently asked. “Or should I continue?”
“Continue what?” I threw my arms up. “Are there more tiny humans to be discovered in there?”
“No,” she nervously laughed. “But we haven’t determined the due date.”
Leroy gave my hand a squeeze, and when I met his soft expression, I was able to relax. Well, relax enough to let the doctor perform the rest of the ultrasound. It turned out that I was bang-on with my calculations.
After we left, there was still a flare of nausea keeping me worked up over the fact that we were expecting twins. It was double the work. Double the diapers. Double the cries. What was I supposed to do when Leroy was occupied with college and practice? I’d be alone, in an apartment with two babies. I knew nothing about babies, and I had to keep two of them alive!
“Pull the car over,” I said. Leroy looked over at me with panic but must have seen how pale I was because he veered the car up beside the sidewalk.
It was almost a miss, but I managed to get out of the car before I vomited in a shrub beside the sidewalk. It was humiliating and I hoped that no one was watching. After a few moments, Leroy was behind me, rubbing my back in slow but firm circular motions, soothing me with his gentle but reassuring voice. This wasn’t the first time that I had been ill in front of him. But it was still embarrassing.
“I’m sorry.” I kept one hand on my knee, slouched over as I wiped my mouth. Leroy tugged on my arm so that I had to straighten up. Despite my attempts to keep a distance, he pulled me into his hold.
“You’re scared?” he said, his hand tucked at the back of my head where his fingertips gently massaged the base of my neck in order to soothe me.
I felt horrible. Having vomited, I probably stank, and I didn’t want to gross him out. But I felt so much better when he held me. “Of course I’m scared, Leroy. We’re having twins and I don’t know how I’m supposed to handle that. It’s a huge responsibility.”
“I know it is, Els. I know.” He pressed a kiss on my forehead. “I don’t have all the answers right now. I know it’ll be hard. But I promise you won’t do it alone. Not ever.”
Of course, his words were a comfort. There was something so sincere about his tone. He meant what he said, and I didn’t need to question his commitment. I could only hope that later on, he didn’t regret his decision. Leroy saw something in me. Something that he loved and believed was worth whatever hardship was thrown at him. I never wanted that to change.
Ellie
The next morning, Leroy told me that we were going to the roller-skating rink with Noah and Cass so that we could have a bit of a time-out and fun amid all the drama that filled our lives right now. The rink was busy but not overcrowded. The lighting was low and spotlights circled the smooth, maple-wood floor where people were skating to the pop music blasting overhead. Surrounding the rink were chairs, tables, and places to eat from the canteen as well as a few pool tables and dartboards.
“Wait,” Cass paused lacing up her roller skates. “Twins? As in two?”
“No, twins as in seven,” Noah said mockingly, sitting on the bench seat beside her.
“That’s—I’m like, my mind is blown.”
“Me too,” I said from where I was leaning against the clear windowpane and walls that surrounded the rink, Leroy standing beside me. We were going to be heading to Waco in a few days to search for an apartment, and Noah and Cass started school next week, so I was glad to have some fun with them before things changed and we had less time together.
“How did Eleanor take it?” Cass asked.
“She seemed pretty shocked as well.” I turned to Leroy and he nodded in agreement. “But she has that can-do attitude. I don’t think she’s worried that we can’t do it.”
“She left a box of one hundred condoms on my dresser,” Noah added, and we all turned to him. “They’ll last a week.”
“You wish,” Cass spat and turned back to me. “Will you name one of the babies after me?”
It was hard to tell if she was being serious or not. “We don’t know what the genders are right now,” I said. It wasn’t that I didn’t love Cass. I just didn’t think that I’d be naming a child after her.
“Okay, well, if it’s a girl, call her Cass. Or Cassie.” She snapped her fingers. “Either is cute.”
Leroy gave Cass a blank stare. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve heard my brother shouting your name during sex before. It’s never going to happen.”
Noah hollered with laughter.
“That seems fair,” Cass said.
“Come on,” Leroy took my hand and we skated over to the rink entrance. Noah and Cass weren’t far behind us as we circled the floor, careful of others. The music was loud and Leroy and I held hands, gliding along to the sound of “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston.
The spotlights flashed with the beat of the music, illuminating the place with colorful lights.
“I feel like I’m in an ’80s music video,” I said to Leroy.
“You need some fluro spandex, some leg warmers, and a perm and you’d be good to go.”
“Fluro will make a comeback—it’s iconic. Just watch.”
He winced. “I hope not.”
We both laugh
ed and did another lap of the rink, our hands still intertwined. With a quick peep behind me, I saw Cass and Noah doing the same thing. Cass had never looked happier and Noah was watching her with tender affection that I wasn’t used to seeing on him. Hope moved through me, hope that he could be the sort of man that Cass deserved.
The song switched to a slow one. Groups left the floor so that it was down to couples and Leroy slowed down, tugging on my hand so that I had to as well, and then he turned me to face him and drew us close together. My hands clasped behind his neck.
“I know we talked about how many children we wanted to have,” Leroy said as our wheels slid slowly, our bodies close. “Still two, right?”
“Yes,” I said. “Still two. Even if they arrive at the same time.”
“Okay, good. We didn’t talk about the sort of parents we want to be, though. Have you ever thought about that?”
“Hmm,” I hummed. “No, I don’t think so. I feel like I know the answer, though. I think I’d like to be the sort of mom that my kids can relate to really well, you know? And feel super comfortable telling me anything. And I’d want to do lots of baking and host all the cool parties and be the house that the kids and their friends want to hang out in. I want to be their friend, but also firm. Does that make sense? So that they respect me and don’t turn into little shits.”
“I think all parents want that,” Leroy said, his hand resting on my lower back.
“I’m being hopeful. I don’t want to be like my mom. Now that I think about it, I feared her. I don’t want my kids to fear me. Your mom and dad are a perfect example of how it should be done.”
Leroy smiled. “They’re great but Noah is an example of kids-with-good-parents-gone-wrong.”
“No, no, no,” I shushed him, looking behind me to see that he and Cass were leaning on the wall, no longer skating but kissing and laughing. “He’s making an effort to do better. We’re not going to speak negatively about that.”