by Lori Foster
“Yeah, well no one cares how sexy they look when they’re putting out a damn fire. There’s no helmets, no Nomex hoods, and not a single S.C.B.A.”
Zack shrugged. “The calendar isn’t meant as a career description. It’s just for fun.”
“Fun? Did you see this one? The guy has his bunker coat on, but it’s hanging open to show off his shaved chest.” Josh grunted in disgust. “Wouldn’t do him a damn lot of good that way would it?”
Zack turned to Amanda and excused Josh’s surly mood by saying, “Being the lieutenant and all, he has to take his responsibility to the crew pretty serious.”
“You know,” Mick interjected, putting the remaining photos aside, “I’ve seen Josh at a fire when he’s pulled on his bunker gear right over his underwear.” In a lower, confiding voice, he added, “You know—no uniform.”
“Yeah,” Zack said, nodding. “He does do that a lot. And after he finishes with the call, he has a habit of jerking off his jacket and strutting around all dirty and bare-chested with his suspenders loose enough that you think his pants are going to fall right off.” Zack leaned toward Amanda, who leaned away. “Josh has a hairy chest, not like the Romeo in the photo. I think he likes showing it off.”
“I do not strut,” Josh said. Since Amanda had already seen him in the locker room wearing nothing more than a towel, she was intimately aware of his hairy chest so he didn’t comment on that. “And I take off my jacket when the job is done because it’s usually hotter than Hades and we’re roasting in our own sweat.”
“The civilian females are always whispering about him. They—ouch!” Mick reached beneath the table to rub his ankle. “Damn it, that hurt.”
Josh thought about kicking him again. “Shut the hell up, will you?”
“Why?” Zack asked. “She already knows your reputation. Any woman who’s been around you ten minutes sees how it is, and she’s been around you longer than that.”
Almost on cue, three women at another table laughed conspicuously and when Josh looked up, he saw they were staring at him. One even gave a flirtatious, three-finger wave.
Amanda shoved back her chair and threw her napkin on the table. “I think I need to visit the ladies’ room.”
Josh, Mick and Zack all lurched to their feet with gentlemanly haste.
“You think?” Josh asked, seeing that she once again looked jealous. It gave him hope, that very human emotion meant she cared. “You don’t know for sure?”
“Oh…be quiet.” Spine military straight, she marched away, and the men reseated themselves.
Mick and Zack peered questioningly at Josh, who just grinned. “She’ll be back,” he said, “after she composes herself.”
Mick whistled low. “Wow. She looked ready to bite your face off.”
Zack said, “I’ve never seen her in a temper. Whenever she’s been around the station, she’s always been so…” He searched for a word and finally settled on, “Cool.”
Josh shook his head. “That’s just a front.”
“It is?”
“Yeah. She’s actually a very warm woman. And she doesn’t like other women flirting with me.”
“Is that what set her off?” Zack lifted a mocking brow. “Because I thought maybe it was the way you harangued her about the calendar. After all, it’s her pet project, and you, my friend, just ran it into the ground.”
Josh froze. His stomach cramped, even his brain cramped. For a man who professed to know women, he’d blown that one. He wanted to kick himself in the backside. “Shit.”
Mick snickered.
As soon as Amanda presented herself again, he’d make it up to her. He’d explain why he was sensitive on the subject, and maybe, just maybe, she’d confide a little about her own sensitivities.
He saw Zack nudge Mick in shared amusement, and he asked, “What are you two doing here anyway?”
Zack held out his hands in a placating gesture. “We came for lunch. We haven’t gotten together in a month.”
Mick shook his head. “Hard to believe we used to manage a regular get-together, what? At least once a week, right?”
“We were pathetic,” Zack agreed.
Because Zack and Mick had seldom dated, they’d had plenty of time to meet at Marcos. Mick was a natural loner who trusted very few people, and Zack had a four-year-old daughter who normally took up all his time. Until they’d met the right women, they’d made meeting at Marcos for lunch a highlight of the week.
Josh, as a once confirmed free-wheeling lady’s man, hadn’t been bothered with any commitments other than ones he arranged himself, so he’d been able to adjust his schedule around theirs. Being with his buddies had been important to him—then.
Now he wished they’d disappear.
“What’s Delilah doing?”
Mick rolled his eyes. “She’s interviewing a bunch of prostitutes down on State Street.”
“What?” As a writer, Delilah Piper-Dawson engaged in a lot of strange research, but usually Mick was at her side, protecting her whether she needed protection or not. At one point in time, Josh had entertained a secret infatuation for her. She was the type of woman who told it straight and charmed a man in the process. But then Mick had fallen in love with her, and she adored Mick from first sight, so Josh had forced himself to think of her only in platonic terms.
“It’s all right,” Zack assured him. “Wynn went with her and besides, the women are reformed prostitutes Mick busted months ago. They’re nice ladies—with a wealth of information to share.”
At nearly six feet tall with strength far surpassing that of most females, Wynn Lane could serve as protection, Josh supposed. But she was still a woman, still very female in the most important ways—ways he sure as hell couldn’t help but notice.
He thought his two friends about as lucky as men could get. “One of you asses should have gone along.”
“They wouldn’t let us,” Zack replied.
Mick nodded in agreement. “They said the women wouldn’t be as open with us around.”
Josh shook his head in pity. “You’re both whipped.”
Zack slapped a hand to his heart and sighed. “Happily so, yeah.”
Envy gripped him. Josh wanted to be that happy, damn it, and he wanted Amanda. After meeting Delilah and Wynn, he’d thought he wanted a woman like them—tall with mile-long legs, outgoing, ballsy and honest to a fault.
Instead, he’d gotten thrown for a loop by a tiny, prissed-up woman with well-hidden secrets and a definite lack of attraction for sex.
What the hell was taking her so long?
Here he was, worrying again, and that was enough to make any man crazed. He heard himself mutter, “She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
Mick and Zack shared a look. “Who?”
“Of all the stupid questions! Amanda.” They looked as incredulous as he often felt, so Josh nodded. “It’s true. I’ve had to coerce every single second out of her. If it wasn’t for her damned project, she wouldn’t be here with me now.”
“She’s not attracted to you?” Zack asked, forcing Josh to admit the awful truth again.
“No. And I don’t like it.”
“No man would.”
At that moment, Amanda came rushing back to the table. Her animosity had been replaced with excitement. “I just got a call!” She waved her cell phone at Josh. “The photographer had a cancellation. We can do the shoot today.”
Josh was so stunned he forgot to stand. “Today?”
Mick held her chair out for her, and Zack took her arm as he seated her.
Josh thought about clouting them both.
“Yes. At six.” She dropped back in her seat, all smiles again. “That’ll give me enough time to finish up at work, and you’ll be able to go to the station to pick up your gear.”
Still feeling slow, Josh asked, “My gear?”
“Of course. For ambiance. You and I can meet at the park at five-thirty, by the nature trails. That way we can get set up before th
e photographer arrives.”
She seemed to have everything all figured out and simply assumed he’d go along with her. As if he didn’t have a life, as if he were at her beck and call.
Which, at the moment, he was.
Disturbed by that reality, Josh almost lied and said he had other plans. But one look at the excitement on her face, and he knew he couldn’t disappoint her.
“I have the perfect image in mind,” she told him.
Josh looked at Mick and then at Zack. They both shrugged, unable to offer any help.
“The perfect image?” he asked.
She nodded. “I know exactly what I want.”
Josh closed his eyes. He knew what she wanted, too, and it wasn’t him, damn it. But he liked seeing her smile too much to not do it. And this way he’d get to spend more of the day with her.
He opened his eyes, accepting his fate and not all that displeased with it. He grinned. “All right. I’ll do it.”
“Thank you.”
“There’s a small catch.”
4
AMANDA CROSSED her arms and stared stonily out the windshield. What kind of stupid “catch” was this? “I don’t know why we couldn’t bring both cars.”
“Because if I’m going to do this,” he explained, not the least bothered by her mood, “I at least want to get to spend time with you.”
She wouldn’t explain to him again. Sooner or later he’d give up. Intimacy was not in her future, whether she wished it or not. That part of her had been permanently frozen seven years ago, thanks to stupid mistakes and irresponsibility.
She said, “I like your friends.”
“Mick and Zack?”
“Yes.” She twisted toward him. “Tell me about their wives.”
“Mick is the only one married so far. Zack has to work around his daughter and Wynn’s nutty family.” He glanced at her and smiled. “No easy feat that. If you ever met her family, you’d understand.”
“He doesn’t get along with them?”
“Sure he does. Everyone likes Zack. He’s so easygoing and all. Well, he wasn’t always easygoing around Wynn. In fact, she kicked his ass a few times.”
Amanda said, “Right.”
“No, she did. Wynn is a lot of woman.” He wore a secret little sexy smile as he said that. “Almost six feet tall—with the longest most incredible legs you’ll ever see. She’s strong, and outgoing and athletic.”
Admiration dripped from his tone, making Amanda want to grind her teeth.
“Zack got thrown to his back more than once. Course, letting a woman get you on your back isn’t always a bad thing.” He bobbed his eyebrows suggestively. “I personally think Zack knew exactly what he was doing all along.”
Amanda couldn’t conceive of a woman wrestling with a man. It seemed much too farfetched, like something out of a sideshow. “You sound very taken with her.”
“Wynn? Yeah, sure. She’s great. I suppose if Zack hadn’t involved himself, I might have asked her out.”
Amanda stiffened; he hadn’t even bothered to deny it! “Does Zack know how you feel?”
“How I felt, and sure he did. I rubbed it in every chance I could, just to keep him on his toes.” He smiled at her. “A little competition is good for a guy. Besides, Wynn never gave me a second look, except when she wanted to ask me questions about Zack.”
Amanda didn’t want to hear any more about the amazing amazon who Josh respected and liked so much. “What about Mr. Dawson? You said he’s married.”
“To Delilah Piper. You ever heard of her?”
She shook her head. “Should I have?”
“She’s a popular mystery writer. A real sweetheart with a twisted imagination, which I guess comes in handy when she’s writing those awesome stories.” He shuddered. “The stuff she does in the name of research is enough to make a man crazed.”
Locking her teeth, Amanda ground out, “You sound rather partial to her, too.”
“Yeah.” He said that so softly, she wanted to thwack him. “I fancied myself in love with her for a while. But again, she set her sights on Mick and that was all she wrote.”
“Do you make a habit of trying to seduce your friends’ girlfriends?”
“Nope.”
He didn’t elaborate. Amanda stewed for a few minutes in silence until she realized why she was stewing. God, it was ridiculous for her to even entertain such ideas of envy. She’d learned the hard way that anything beyond casual acquaintance with a man was impossible.
Josh pulled into the entrance for the park and slowed the car. As he maneuvered the winding roads toward the walking trails, he reached for Amanda’s hand.
“I used to think I wanted a woman like them. Just goes to show we never really know our own minds.”
Amanda felt her heart flutter and called herself a fool. “What do you mean?”
He pulled up to a gravel lot and parked the car. Turning toward her, he said, “These days, there’s only one woman plaguing my thoughts. And she’s nothing like Wynn or Del.”
Amanda drew her own comparisons. They sounded like wonderful women who led exciting, normal lives. They sounded like women who relished their sexuality and gave with all their hearts.
Her heart was encased in a layer of guilt, crushed under the burden of reparation.
She drew an unsteady breath. “Let’s try to get set up before Jerry arrives.”
“Jerry is the photographer?”
“Yes.” Josh had picked her up at her home and together they’d gone to the station. One thing she’d insisted he bring along was his ax. He’d mumbled and grumbled and done as she asked.
She hadn’t been quite so accommodating.
When he picked her up, he’d wanted to get out and look at her house, but she’d been waiting at the end of the long drive and hadn’t invited him any farther. Because the trees on the property were thick, even when barren of leaves, and the driveway winding, he hadn’t really seen anything at all. Her unusual little whimsical home was nobody’s business but her own.
“Don’t forget the ax,” she reminded him when he left it behind on the floor of the back seat. He rasped something she couldn’t hear, and she smiled. “Here, I’ll take your pants. You can leave your bunker jacket and helmet behind for now.” No way would she cover up his gorgeous face or magnificent body any more than absolutely necessary. “Bring your boots, though.”
She walked away, not waiting to hear Josh’s reaction to her directions. She peered up at the beautiful blue sky and hoped Jerry got there on time because the sun would soon be fading.
She found a spot on the ground with no grass and bent down, careful not to soil her suit. Josh reached her just as she finished rubbing the front and back and especially the knees of his once clean pants into the dirt.
He didn’t ask, so she turned to look up at him and said, “They were too clean. We want you to look like you’ve been working.”
“Firemen don’t roll around in the dirt.”
She hid a smile; he could be so prickly at times. “Believe me, I know exactly what it is firemen do.”
Speculation darkened his green eyes. “Had firsthand experience have you?”
Rather than meet his gaze or answer his question, she stood and shook out the pants. They now looked well worn. “Here, put these on.”
Allowing her the evasion, Josh looked around. There weren’t many people in the park this time of year, certainly not so far back near the trails. He asked with sinful suggestiveness, “Over my jeans, or not?”
She knew he wanted her to gasp and blush, but she’d already made up her mind about the shot, so she said simply, “Not.”
He cocked out his hip, bunched the heavy pants in one fist, and glared at her. “You want me to skin out my jeans right here?”
“There’s no one watching. If you’re shy, then you can step behind that large tree. But hurry. I want you ready when Jerry arrives.” No way did she want to try to organize another session with Josh. More than anyth
ing, she needed to get away from him. He tempted her, when she knew from experience there was no point.
He didn’t go behind a tree. No, not Josh Marshall. He stared her in the eye while he kicked off his shoes and unhooked his belt.
Now she blushed.
“No, don’t run off,” he taunted. “I’ll need you to hold my jeans. That is, if you can refrain from grinding them into the dirt.”
Amanda assumed a casual pose. “Fine. But hurry it up.” She’d already seen him, she reminded herself. The shock of that first viewing still haunted her at night—so what was a little more haunting for such a worthy cause?
He shoved his jeans down to his ankles and stepped out of them. Luckily, the shirttails of his flannel covered everything of interest.
It had been dry lately, leaving the hard ground cold but thankfully not wet. His socks would have been soaked otherwise.
A car pulled into the lot. They both turned, but to Amanda’s dismay, it wasn’t Jerry.
Mick and Zack stepped out, identical expressions of hilarity on their faces when they spied Josh in his underwear. They laughed while trying to keep two women stuck in the car.
Amanda watched as one slender, almost fragile woman with incredible dark hair slipped out to stand beside Mick. She wore sloppy jeans, an unbuttoned corduroy coat over an enormous sweater, and a fat smile. She took one look at Josh and gave a loud appreciative wolf whistle—destroying the image of frail femininity.
On the driver’s side of the car, Zack got shoved aside and a veritable giant of a woman emerged. She wore gray sweats, no coat and had the fuzziest hair Amanda had ever seen. Raising her long arms into the air, she applauded, then yelled, “Hey, don’t let us stop you, Josh! Keep going.”
Josh laughed. “This is all I’m taking off, you lecher.”
Amanda felt as if she’d faded into the background. An easy camaraderie existed between the five people, a nearly palpable friendship that excluded her. She crossed her arms under her breasts and tried not to feel resentful.
These people deserved happiness. Unlike her, these people hadn’t committed any terrible transgressions.
Still without pants, Josh nearly felled her when he threw his muscled arm around her shoulders and urged her forward. “Wynn, Del, I want you to meet Amanda Barker. She’s doing this crazy benefit calendar and I’m her newest victim.”