by Lori Foster
Looking up at him through her lashes, Vicki said, “We had some good times together, didn’t we?”
Because he knew women, Josh saw the vulnerability in Vicki’s eyes. She needed to be reassured, so he did just that. He kissed her knuckles and said, “We had a terrific time. I always enjoyed your company, hon, you know that.”
“But?”
Gently, because he hated to hurt anyone, Josh reiterated, “But it’s over. I really am a one-woman man, now. That hasn’t changed.”
Vicki looked beyond him and winced. “Well, your one woman looks ready to string you up by your toes. I suppose I should get out of the line of fire.”
Josh turned and sure enough, Amanda was fuming. He smiled and gave her a wave, still holding on to Vicki with his other hand, though Vicki did her best to edge away from him. Amanda huffed and turned her back on him.
Finally releasing her, he said to Vicki, “I should mingle.”
She just shook her head and gave her farewells. He knew Vicki considered his actions strange, but he couldn’t help being flattered every time Amanda showed her jealousy. He was used to women who were openly admiring, women who said what they thought and felt—especially about him.
He had to work hard to get any kind of commitment from Amanda—except when she saw him with another woman.
Mick wandered up next, his suit coat open, his hands shoved in his pants pockets. “Doing a little flaunting tonight, huh?”
Josh made a face. “Amanda’s idea. All the guys from the calendar are shirtless, but I swear, some of them are enjoying it more than others.”
“Others meaning you?”
“I can think of things I’d rather be doing.”
Mick glanced around the crowded room. “Not having any fun here, huh?” It was in his nature to be forever on the lookout. Being cautious was partly his nature, partly his job.
Josh felt like an idiot, but he wouldn’t tell Mick that. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his body, but it seemed ridiculous to make such a big deal of it. “I’ll survive.”
“Since you appear to be the theme of this bash, you better.”
Everywhere Josh looked, there hung poster-size pictures of himself as Mr. November. Women would see the pictures, then either seek him out with their eyes and start twittering, or rush to buy the calendar. It was humiliating. “If it’ll help make money for the charity, then what do I care?”
Mick looked over the buffet table filled with hors d’oeuvres donated by a local caterer. He chose a cracker piled with pinkish cheese, then eyed it closely. “It’s for a great cause,” he agreed. “I’d think you’d be enjoying yourself with all this attention.”
“Would you?”
Mick snorted. “Okay, this is a little overdoing it. But the thing is, it seems you’ve given up completely on having fun.”
Josh frowned at Mick as he held the cracker eye level and scrutinized it. “Meaning?”
“Meaning you just sent a little ‘fun’ packing.”
Confused for the moment, Josh asked, “Vicki?”
“Yeah, Vicki. I remember her as one of your favorites. Any reason you’ve decided to become celibate?”
“Ha!” Josh crossed his arms over his bare chest and smirked. “Not in this lifetime.”
“Oh?” Mick popped the whole cracker in his mouth and made appreciative noises. “Not bad.”
“Just what the hell are you getting at, Mick?” Both Mick and Zack knew he was involved with Amanda. Hell, he’d been with her every available moment. He was here now, dressed in bunker pants and steel-toed boots, toting that damn ax she seemed so fond of, just for her. That should explain it all right there.
Mick searched the table for another cracker. Josh thought about hitting him in the head. “Damn it, Mick…”
“Zack is a little worried about you.”
That set him back. “The hell you say!”
“Yeah, seems you’ve been…distracted.” Mick glanced at him, then gave his attention back to the cracker. He sniffed at the cheese and made a face. Glancing around, hoping no one would notice, he set it back on the table.
“Distracted how? And if you pick up another bite to eat,” Josh warned, “I’ll take the ax handle to you.”
Mick grinned and held up his empty hands. “Distracted at work. Zack says it’s dangerous for you not to give your full attention to the job. We both figured you were just antsy over things with Amanda, but I gotta admit you have me confused. You two seem tight, but here you are, all jittery. And if you’re not tight with Amanda, then why did you turn Vicki away?”
Josh sat the ax against the wall and rubbed his face. “Things are…difficult. Different. That’s all. Amanda is…” He shook his head, unwilling to betray Amanda’s trust, but wishing he had someone to talk to.
“She’s what? Not falling at your feet?”
“Of course she wouldn’t do that! She’s…”
Mick raised a brow and waited.
“Oh hell, I love her, all right?” The words left his mouth and then he grinned. “I really do. I’m crazy about her.”
Mick looked as if that was the last thing he’d expected to hear. It rattled him so much that he picked up the smelly cheese and ate it without thinking, then choked and had to grab for a drink.
Wheezing, he said, “You’re in love?”
“Yeah.”
“With Amanda?”
Eyes narrowed, Josh asked, “Any reason you’re saying it like that?”
“No! I mean, she’s terrific. Pretty, smart, sexy. It’s just that she doesn’t…” Mick struggled, then shrugged. “…seem your type.”
“She’s unique.”
Mick downed the rest of his drink in one gulp. “God, that cheese was nasty.”
Laughing, Josh said, “That’s good old American cheese and Swiss down there on the end, with the fruit.”
“Thanks.” Mick picked up a plate and moved in that direction. Josh followed. “So, uh, does Amanda feel the same way?”
“What is this, Mick? Are you my Father Confessor? Did Zack send you here to pick my brain and make sure I wasn’t screwing up my life? Are you supposed to advise me and set me on the straight and narrow?”
“Yeah, something like that.” Mick popped a grape into his mouth and smiled. “Now that’s good.”
His mood quickly turning black, Josh said, “Just let me go get my ax and then I’ll…”
Mick caught his arm, laughing. “Don’t bludgeon me. I swear, this was all Zack’s idea. He’d have been here himself if Dani hadn’t gotten sick. Wynn told him to come, but you know how Zack is, a real mother hen when his little girl isn’t well.”
“Yeah, I know how he is.” Josh knew a buildup of sexual frustration had made him a little less than reasonable. He hoped Amanda told him how she felt soon, because he didn’t know if he could take too much more.
“So is it true?” Mick asked. “Have you been distracted at work? And don’t growl at me! With all the grief you gave us, you’re due for some back.”
Josh subsided at the truth of those words. He had harassed Mick and Zack plenty when they were trying to figure out the whole love thing.
Of course, Josh had it figured out. It was Amanda who seemed unsure. But damned if he’d tell Mick that.
“We’re concerned,” Mick continued. “Rightfully so, too. Hell, even Wynn and Del told me you were acting different. Not that I pay much attention to your moods, but now that I am, I see what they mean. And Zack sees you at work. He said everyone was razzing a probie, sending him outside repeatedly to find a hose winder—which I gather doesn’t exist—and you never said a word.”
All probationary firefighters caught hell on their first week at the station. As a lieutenant, Josh usually did his best to run interference, but true enough, he’d been distracted all week thinking about Amanda. He’d barely noticed the antics going on during his shift.
“Zack also says you’ve been slower on the drills.”
He’d strangle Zack whe
n next he saw him. “I know those drills by heart.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the point and you know it. So tell me, what’s up?”
“It’s private.”
Mick gave him an incredulous look. “That never stopped you from butting into my business!”
“I know, but this isn’t just my business. It’s Amanda’s business, too. She has some things to work out, and until she does, we’re not…that is, I haven’t…”
Aghast, Mick said, “Damn. You are celibate.”
“It’s temporary.”
At the look on Josh’s face, Mick sputtered and quickly snatched up a napkin. “Oh, this is priceless,” he said, shaking his head while continuing to chuckle.
Through his teeth, Josh said, “It’s not a big deal, damn it. I know what I’m doing.”
“Hey, I’m not the one who thinks sexual variety keeps you young. That’s your mantra, not mine.”
Josh reached for his own drink. It was that or Mick’s throat. “You always were a particular bastard.”
“And you never were, not where women are concerned. But now you’re hooked and she’s making you work for it instead of throwing herself at you.” Mick grinned. “This is great. I love it.”
“Shut the hell up, will you?” Josh saw nothing amusing in the situation. Of course, if it had been Mick or Zack, he might have seen the humor.
“Damn, you’re testy. Okay, okay!” Mick held up his hands when Josh started to reach for him. “Don’t start foaming at the mouth. I wanted to get serious for a second, anyway.”
His tone made Josh uneasy. “What? More unsolicited advice?”
Mick gave him that dark-eyed look he used to bring criminals low. “I didn’t think you knew any other kind.”
Remembering the hell he’d put Mick through when Mick had fallen in love with Delilah, Josh had to agree. He’d handed out advice—and aggravation—left and right.
“You need to be more careful at work,” Mick said. “I know women troubles can rattle any guy, but if there’s a fire, you have to be thinking with the right head, and I’m not talking about the one you let make most of your decisions.”
Josh bristled. “You saying I can’t control myself sexually?” Ha! What a joke. If only Mick knew, he’d be applauding his iron control.
“I’m saying I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I’m damn good at my job.” Feeling defensive, Josh squared off and waited for Mick to dare disagree.
Mick didn’t give him the satisfaction.
“I’m not questioning that,” he said, “just your frame of mind. Being lovesick is all well and good—hell, I personally think you’re past due. But don’t let your mind wander when your life is at stake, okay? That’s all I’m saying.”
Josh started to agree, when suddenly he felt a familiar tension. He was so attuned to Amanda, so aware of her on every level, he instinctively felt her presence.
He turned, already knowing she stood behind him.
Hands clasped together and her cheeks pale, Amanda stared up at him. She looked equal parts furious and mortified.
Covering his uneasiness at being caught while discussing her, Josh pulled himself together and reached for her. She felt rigid under his palms, but she didn’t fight him when he tugged her to her tiptoes and kissed her lips. “Hey sweetheart. Finally got a break, huh? It’s about time. I was feeling sorely neglected.”
She said, “Yes of course. You’ve only got every woman here following you around, trying to get your attention.”
Josh said, “You noticed,” and he grinned.
Amanda stared beyond him at Mick, who looked as uncomfortable as a dark, enigmatic undercover cop could look.
Mick drummed up a sad excuse for a casual smile and said, “Hello Amanda. It’s nice seeing you again.”
“Mr. Dawson. Thanks for coming.”
“Mick, please.” Mick glanced at Josh, probably looking for assistance though Josh had none to offer. There were still times when he couldn’t figure Amanda out at all, when her moods were a total mystery to him.
This was one of those times.
Mick forged on manfully. “Your reception here is a hit. The, uh, crackers are great.”
Josh snickered at that and took pity on Mick. “Go mingle. Go buy a calendar. Just go.”
“Delilah already bought several. But mingling sounds nice.”
“Coward.”
Mick saluted him and wandered off.
Turning back to Amanda, Josh said, “It amazes me how such a small woman can make grown men quake in their boots.”
She sniffed. “That’s utter nonsense, and you know it. You certainly aren’t quaking.”
Josh lifted his brows. Acrimony? That told him something, like she was pissed. More jealousy, maybe? Somehow, he didn’t think so. “Do you have any idea how badly I want to kiss you?”
Her gaze skipped away from his and her shoulders stiffened. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”
“About kissing me? You been having the same naughty thoughts as me?”
“I… No! That’s not what I meant at all.” She frowned, chewed her lower lip, and then said, “I think we should calm things down a little.”
Damn, she had overheard. Josh pretended he didn’t understand. “Now why would you want to do that? Especially when last night was so nice?”
Nice, what an understatement. They’d lain together on Amanda’s bed after watching a science-fiction movie and they’d kissed for an hour. Josh, feeling as randy and naughty as a teenager in the back seat of his dad’s Chevy, had nonetheless enjoyed holding her close. He’d relished the way she’d gradually relaxed with him, and he’d enjoyed listening to talk about her work and the stupid calendar and her plans for shade-loving flowers in the spring.
Hell, he just loved listening to her—because he loved her.
Amanda shook her head. “I saw you with that woman.”
“Vicki?” He squeezed her shoulders, unconsciously caressing her, hoping to ease her just a bit. “She’s an old girlfriend. I already explained things to her.”
Stepping away from him, Amanda avoided his direct gaze. “Perhaps you were hasty with that,” she said.
Josh crowded close to her back, refusing to let her put a physical or emotional distance between them. He’d worked too hard for the headway he’d gained to just give it up. “Mick already has me edgy. Don’t piss me off more by suggesting I go to another woman, okay?”
Her head dropped forward as she tidied the tablecloth on the buffet table and sorted the silverware. Whenever Amanda got nervous, her hands got busy. “This isn’t right, Josh. None of it is.”
He kissed the ultra soft skin beneath her ear. “Mmmm. Feels right to me.”
“It’s not fair.”
“Yeah? To who?”
“To you.” She whirled around and flattened both hands on his bare chest. She started to speak, then noticed the attention she drew to them. Plenty of women who’d been watching Josh all along now stared openly. “I’m making a spectacle of us both.”
He didn’t mind, but apparently, she did. “So let’s find someplace to be alone.”
“There’s no place here. Besides, I can’t just sneak off. I’m trying to successfully drum up interest in the calendar. Too many people donated too many things for me to simply…”
“Take time with me?” He knew that shot wasn’t fair, but still couldn’t stop himself from saying it. “Yeah, that’d be a waste, wouldn’t it?”
Her eyes widened. “Josh! That isn’t at all what I meant.”
He ran a hand through his hair, regretting his hasty words, feeling his frustration rise. But damn it, she was trying to pull away. “I know it. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, either. It’s just…” She looked around. “You’re right. We should talk. Let’s go into the office in the back.” She lifted her wrist and Josh saw a coiled band with several keys on it. “I can get us in.”
The idea of a private talk no
longer appealed. Josh had a terrible suspicion that she wanted to dump him. The damn calendar was done, and God knew the thing was a hit. Local groceries, bookstores and gift shops had agreed to sell them. Orders were coming in faster than they could be filled. The hall she’d gotten donated for the night was now crowded with interested parties, and the firemen who’d posed were considered local celebrities.
Amanda had no more use for him.
Josh marched behind her, cautiously holding the damn ax away from other people, feeling more ridiculous by the moment. He’d let her draw him in, let her use him…
The lock on the door clicked open and she stepped inside. Josh pushed in behind her and before she could find a light, he turned her and pressed her against the door.
He’d always been a breast man, and now, with Amanda’s plump breasts pressed to his bare chest, he felt all his repressed lust boil over.
“Josh!”
He kissed her. He kissed her with a week’s worth of frustration and with the fear that she’d reject him now. He kissed her the way he’d been wanting to for a long time. He dropped the ax with a clatter and caught her rounded behind with one hand, urging her closer. With the other hand, he sought her breast, squeezing and cuddling, searching for and finding her nipple, wanting to groan when it puckered tight. He stroked her, then caught her straining nipple between his fingertips and plucked, rolled.
Filled with explosive urgency, he ate at her mouth, devouring her.
Until he felt her frantic hands trying to push him away.
8
“JOSH PLEASE!” Amanda could barely catch her breath under the impact of that intense kiss and the experienced touch of his hands. She’d been thinking about him all day, stewing each and every time she saw another woman get close to him. She shouldn’t care. The whole point of the reception was to share Josh’s appeal so more calendars would be purchased.
All the men had shown up shirtless, as she’d directed. One by one, they’d stepped up to the podium with her to be introduced. Amanda had given their names, told what month they could be found, and then they’d removed their outer coats to reveal their hard muscled chests and shoulders. The women had “oohed” and “aahed” as each upper body was bared.