by Karen Kirst
“That makes sense.” Her throat was closing up. How many more goodbyes could she take?
Stepping close enough that she could see the pulse point on his throat, which at the moment was quite erratic, Quinn’s large hand curved around her nape. She tried to sort the emotions in his hooded gaze and failed. His generous mouth lowered to graze the outermost corner of her lips, evoking shivers of pent-up longing.
He abruptly pulled away, disappointment palpable. “I should go.”
“Quinn?” Apparently she wasn’t done tormenting herself. “Will you stop by the boutique in the morning?”
Jaw working, he jerked a nod. Then he was gone.
She gingerly touched the spot where his lips had been. “I’d give all this up in an instant if only you’d ask.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Coming here had been a huge mistake. Massive. What had he been thinking?
Oh, that’s right. He hadn’t. He’d acted purely on impulse, anxious to see her after too many weeks apart.
Anger focused inward, Quinn didn’t immediately return to the hotel. He kept walking until he found himself on the docks. At this time of night, when darkness crept across the sky and the sliver of the moon was already visible, the riverside was practically empty. Boats of all sizes bobbed in the murky water. A handful of late arrivals tied off their vessels and began unloading supplies.
The cool breeze coming off the river pushed his hair into his eyes. Not bothering to fix it, he walked without seeing or caring where he was going.
Dinner was a disaster. He’d had trouble containing his emotions, had been on the verge of pushing his own wishes on her despite what an untenable position that would’ve put her in. His own uncomfortable state had made her anxious. He’d seen the distress in her beautiful violet eyes and hated himself for it.
He could not come here a second time.
Whenever she visited Gatlinburg, he’d make a point to avoid her.
All he had to do was get through yet another farewell tomorrow morning. No extended speeches, and absolutely no touching allowed. Quick and to the point.
Turning his feet toward the hotel, he took his time returning to his room. The ticking of the clock, along with the dread weighing in his chest, kept him awake until the wee hours. He skipped breakfast. Settled for several cups of bracing coffee before heading to the boutique.
He parked his wagon directly in front, beneath the branches of a solitary tree. Even at this early hour, the streets bustled with activity, similar to those in Boston only on a smaller scale. Was Nicole truly happy here? Did she long for the slower pace of Gatlinburg?
They hadn’t spoken of such substantial matters last night, and he wasn’t about to bring them up now.
Leaving his hat on the wagon seat, he hurried inside, intent on keeping this meeting brief. Nicole rounded the counter and met him in the middle of the store, fragile looking in the same demure, snowy-white dress she’d worn the first night they met. While there’d been fire in her cheeks and retribution sparkling in her eyes then, today shadows dulled her vitality. Her skin was nearly translucent. Soft and delicate.
He thrust his hands in his pockets. “I came to say I’m proud of what you’ve accomplished here. It took an extraordinary amount of courage to do what you’ve done.”
Teeth worrying her bottom lip, she nodded. “Thank you, Quinn. Your approval means more than you know.”
“You don’t need my approval. The success you’ve achieved through your hard work and determination, aided with God’s strength and guidance, is what matters.”
Worry lines marred her brow. Hands tightly clasped at her waist, she looked everywhere but at him.
Battling the need to soothe away her tension, to say or do something to evoke that sunshine smile of hers, he edged backward. “I’ll write to you.”
“I’ll write back.”
The doorknob dug into his hip. “Goodbye, Nicole.”
“Take care,” she whispered, arms hugging her middle. “Stay safe.”
The bell jingled as he pushed outside, humid air closing in on him, choking him. Don’t look back. Put her needs first. Give her the freedom to follow her dreams.
He’d reached the wagon when he heard her call his name.
Dense branches providing shade from the overbright sun, Quinn stared as Nicole burst through the door. Rushing to join him beneath the tree, she clutched his arms.
“Take me with you,” she pleaded, her eyes wide and earnest.
Confusion roughened his voice. “What?”
“Being apart from you has been the worst kind of torture.” Her face turned up to his, he noted the trembling of her full lips. “I miss coming to work and seeing you dip into the peppermint jar. I miss watching you slip an extra scoop of sugar into the widow Weber’s sack when you think no one is looking. I miss your scowls at the old checker players when they get too rowdy and the way you inhale Mrs. Greene’s biscuits and gravy. I daydream about watching you practice your fencing.” Pink flooded her cheeks. “I could do that all day without complaint, actually. I miss so many things about you I’d never be able to list them all. Quinn, I’m miserable without you.”
“What are you saying exactly?”
“I’m saying I love you.”
Her confession rocked him to the core. He hadn’t let himself picture her saying such things to him and was unprepared for the elation bubbling through his system, edging out reason and sensibility. Nicole loved him? Wanted to be with him? Images flared in his mind, clear and vibrant images of him and Nicole exchanging marriage vows, moving into their new home behind the church, hosting family dinners...welcoming a baby.
Caught up in the prospect of a future together, he couldn’t speak for long moments.
But then the gold lettering of her store sign glittered in the light and the images scattered like dandelion wisps on a stiff breeze.
Gently dislodging her hold, Quinn crossed to the shop’s entrance and opened the door, turning to look at her expectantly. Her raven brows crashed together. Unease tightening her features, she preceded him inside haltingly.
“What is it, Quinn?” Pivoting toward him, she held out her hands in appeal. “Is it that you don’t want me—”
“Look around you,” he bit out, anguish and frustration coursing through him. “I cannot be the one responsible for destroying what you’ve strived to achieve. Why do you think I didn’t ask you to stay in the first place?”
Hope flickered in the luminous depths. “So you did want me to stay?”
“Of course I did.” Her feelings for him didn’t change anything. The situation was impossible.
“Do you love me, Quinn?”
* * *
Nicole held her breath. The courage that had spurred her to run after him and admit her feelings was waning.
Quinn stared at her incredulously. “All I can think about is making you my wife. Does that answer your question?”
Tears blurred her vision, and suddenly he was before her, his touch featherlight on her shoulders. “My darling Nicole.” Tenderness marked his words. “‘I love you’ hardly expresses what is truly in my heart. You’ve captivated me from the moment you hit me with that pan.” He hooked a curl behind her ear. “You challenge me to be a better man, to look beyond the surface to the person beneath. You make me laugh. You make me want to pull my hair out sometimes, too.”
The side of his mouth lifted in a rueful smile, and she matched it with one of her own.
“In short, you make my life richer, fuller, brighter. If you were to accept my hand in marriage, I’d be the happiest man on earth.”
“Oh, Quinn.” He was saying all the right things, but there was a guardedness in his eyes she didn’t trust.
“What worries me more than anything is the possibility you’d resen
t me later on.”
“That won’t happen.”
“Maybe not tomorrow or a week from now. But months, perhaps years from now, would you be happy with your choice? You wanted to leave Gatlinburg long before I showed up. I’m not convinced you’d be content.”
“You’re right. For many years, I dreamed of a different life far from there. I didn’t seek God’s guidance as you suggested earlier. I decided what I wanted, what I thought would make me happy, and pursued it without consulting Him. I’ve come to realize how foolish I’ve been.” She gestured to the intricate dress she’d designed and created in the window, the colorful fabric bolts lining the walls, her sewing station behind the counter. “The thing about dreams is this—reality doesn’t always measure up to your imagination. You of all people should understand that.”
“I do. I also know that it’s hardest in the beginning. You’re just starting out. Until you feel more at home here...find a church you like and make friends, it’s bound to be lonely. That’s not a sign that you should give up.”
“I don’t deny I’m lonely, but that’s not what this is about.” She had to make him understand. Their future depended on it. “Don’t you see? Maybe if I’d never met you, I could be content with this life. But I did, and those weeks with you were the most frustrating, exhilarating, liberating weeks of my life. Thanks to you, I felt more at home in Gatlinburg than I did my whole life. I finally felt I fit in. Accepted for the person that I am, not because of my last name or for my sisters’ sake.” Resting her hand against his cheek, she looked deep into his eyes, letting him see every drop of love and devotion she had for him. “You changed me, Quinn.”
The color of his eyes deepened, intensified to dark caramel. Reaching up, he cradled her face with both hands. “I want very much to believe you. To trust in us.”
“Then do.”
Disquiet flashed. “What about your business? You were born with a needle in your hand, Nicole. You can’t waste your God-given talent.”
“That’s the beauty of what I do. I’m not required to have a building to fill orders. I can sew anywhere.” She paused. “Remember that night in the springhouse?”
“Are you referring to the night I used the cold as an excuse to hold you in my arms?”
“What? You didn’t even like me then.”
He hummed deep in his throat. “You just assumed I didn’t.”
Heady warmth fizzed in her middle. “I admit I reveled in your closeness. It was a new experience for me, leaning on someone else’s strength.”
The pad of his thumb grazing her lower lip, his voice grew husky. “Get to the point before my good sense fails and I kiss you like I’ve been tempted to do since I arrived.”
Blinking at his bluntness and wishing he’d do just that, Nicole rushed out, “That night, you questioned my reasons for this move. You asked if I was running from my reputation. My family. Oh, I was madder than a hornet at such an outrageous assumption.”
Quinn’s lips twitched. “Really? I couldn’t tell.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think in recent weeks. You were absolutely right. All those years of planning...I wasn’t running to something. I was running from something.”
Slowly, like clouds drifting across the moon, the doubts in his eyes cleared. “And now there’s nothing left to run from?”
“Nothing at all.”
“This is a lot to take in,” he said in mock seriousness. “I may need some convincing.”
At the sight of his glorious, mischievous smile, happiness chased away all the anxiety and fear and sorrow she’d been carrying around the past weeks. Going up on tiptoe, Nicole brushed her lips against his.
A shudder rippled through him. “Greet me like that every morning for the rest of my life?”
She smiled, shyness kicking in.
Quinn winced. “I’m not doing this right, am I?”
Releasing her, he dug in his jacket pocket and fished out something small and yellow. A lemon drop.
“Um, that’s not what I was after.”
Nicole pressed her lips together to hold back a nervous laugh. This moment was a turning point, one that would alter her life. She literally shook from the high emotions humming through her.
Putting the sweet in his other pocket, he went searching again and extracted a silk handkerchief. “This is for you.”
She stared at the neat square he pressed into her palm. “Is it a peppermint stick?”
“No.”
“A chocolate-cream drop?”
“Not even close.”
Gingerly unwrapping the material, she gasped at the intricate ring in the center.
Quinn’s smile lit up her world. “It belonged to my grandmother. I’ve carried it on my person since the day I discovered you alone and upset in that field. That day, I knew you were the woman I wanted for my wife. I didn’t know if I’d ever get the chance to give it to you, but I kept it with me just in case. Hoping against hope...”
Taking her hand, he dropped to one knee. “I love you, Nicole O’Malley. Please make me the happiest of men and say you’ll marry me.”
With a half laugh, half sob, tears of joy skimming her cheeks, she nodded. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Quinn quickly slipped the ring on her finger and, standing, pulled her close. Adoration glowed in his eyes. “If my proposal is bringing you to tears, we have a problem.”
“Oh, do be quiet and kiss me.”
He kissed her until the bell dinged and a customer walked in. Lifting his head, he said, “I apologize, madam, but we’re closed.”
Nicole laughed at the woman’s scandalized expression and held up her hand so that her ring was clearly visible. “We’re moving locations.”
Epilogue
September 1882
“Seventeen years ago today, I welcomed not one but two precious daughters into the world.” Standing behind a table where a scrumptious-looking cake and jars of tea and lemonade had been set up beneath the trees, Alice beamed at the crowd. Close friends and family had come out on this pleasant autumn afternoon to celebrate the twins’ birthday. “Some people might assume a man would be disappointed at having two more girls added to our brood. Not your father. He fell in love the instant he set eyes on you. If he were here today, I know he’d be bursting with pride just as I am. Happy birthday, my dears.”
Whistles and hearty clapping echoed through the yard. On one side of Alice, Jane blushed. On the other side, Jessica smiled boldly, unfazed by the attention. Nicole studied the white dresses she’d designed for them during her weeks in Knoxville, satisfied with the results. Similar in material and outline, Jane’s skirt sported a panel of royal blue beneath white eyelet lace, complemented with a ribbon about her slender waist. For Jessica’s dress, she’d used forest green. They looked elegant and beautiful.
“Hard to believe they’re seventeen.” Taking their seats once the noise quieted and Alice began slicing the cake, her older sister Juliana reached up to readjust the pins holding her heavy flame-colored hair. “They seem older than the last time I saw them. Mature young women.”
Nicole glanced around at the guests, noting the number of young men watching the girls with undisguised interest. “I have a feeling Mama won’t have them at home for much longer.”
Juliana touched her hand, deep green eyes frank and approving. “Jane and Jessica aren’t the only ones who’ve changed. I noticed something different about you as soon as we arrived. You’re...”
“Less annoying than usual?” Amusement marked her words. “Not as self-absorbed?”
A wide smile softened Juliana’s features. “I was going to say content. At peace with yourself.”
Conversation filtered around them as people found their seats at the handful of makeshift tables or on thick logs her cousins had dragged in f
or the occasion. Near the cake table, Kate comforted a sleepy Victoria while chatting with Rebecca, whose large tummy had seemed to drop in recent days.
“It took a while to get to this point.”
Too much of her life, she’d depended on others’ opinions and treatment of her to dictate how she viewed herself. Now she knew the truth. What counted was how God, her Creator, saw her. According to the Scriptures, she was wonderfully and fearfully made. She was God’s beloved child, with her own unique strengths and shortcomings—His prone-to-weakness vessel to be used for His glory.
“I like Quinn. Evan does, too. He’s a perfect match for you.”
On the far side of the yard, Caleb, Lucian and Quinn lounged along the barn wall with Evan, Juliana’s husband. Their son, James, a mini-version of dark-haired Evan, held tightly to his father’s hand and sucked his thumb.
Of course, her attention was all for her fiancé. Watching his animated face, she said, “Quinn balances my serious side. He makes me laugh.”
“He makes you happy.”
“Yes.”
Quinn glanced in her direction and winked, lazy smile and waggling brows promising stolen kisses later. Her heart melted. She could hardly wait until she officially became Mrs. Quinn Darling. Fourteen more days.
“You make him happy, too,” Juliana mused, studying their interaction. “That much is obvious.”
“I try.”
“You don’t have to try. You just have to be. Trust me on this. It’s plain he adores you, little sis.”
“I wish you could move back here.”
Longing surged in her eyes even as her ginger brows creased. “Evan and I have discussed the subject. We’re praying about it. I’ve made precious friends in Cades Cove, but it’s not the same. I miss my family.”
Grateful she’d figured out how important family was before it was too late, Nicole squeezed her sister’s hand. “I’ll pray about the matter, as well.”
“At least we get to stay for your wedding.”
“The day can’t get here soon enough.”