by Charity Rose
“Who is it,” she turns towards me. “Who do you like?”
I hesitate, “It’s not that I like him, I just find him cute, and he’s so sweet, unlike any guy I’ve ever met,” I say, “It’s Bradley, you know. The tall guy with great hair and those...eyes,”
“Really?!” she looks stunned like it’s hard to believe. “This is so great, he really is sweet, and he’s never had a girlfriend before,” she gushes. I didn’t know that. I kind of assumed he would have had lots of girlfriends. I’ve never had a boyfriend so, I guess we’re even. She continues to talk while watching the boys play, “I studied with him in middle school. He’s always been such a crazy guy, none of the girls took him seriously. They found him too childish,” she said and shook her head. Wow, that’s not nice. “I can talk to him, you know; I mean I’ve seen you hang out a few times, but I know you wouldn’t tell him. Plus, your always around other people, so I bet telling him would be awkward.” She’s not wrong, but I’m not sure. I make a face, screwing my mouth to one side, she rests her hand on top of one of mine, “It’s your decision, though.”
“Okay,” I breathe, “Tell him,” I say. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from TV shows is that you can’t fail at something if you don’t try. So how will I know if I fail a shot at a potential boyfriend if I don’t even try?
I’ve always been the kind of girl who keeps her emotions bottled up. If I liked a guy, I’d just never tell him. I would keep it to myself either hoping that he would notice me out of the blue one day or until my crush on them went away, which always did at some point.
“Alright. I’ll talk to Brad first thing tomorrow morning,” Amanda said, and with that, she walks away leaving me full of nerves. I can feel my stomach drop out of my body, sinking deep into the ground and following the sun to the other side of the world. What did I just do? I’ve only known him for a couple of weeks!
The next day goes on as usual as any other, except that Kassidy, Kassie to her friends, stood in front of me and crossed her arms over her ample chest. Kassidy had at least one thing I didn’t, and she made sure to wear clothes that accentuated her womanly looking curves. It definitely caught the eye of pretty much every male, student and teacher alike, even if they didn’t want to admit it. She puckered her lips, they were tinted pink with Chapstick, and looked up and down with her entirely made-up eyes, clucking her tongue she said, “So, Amanda told Bradley you like him,” I almost choke on her words. What the fuck! How the hell does she know? Oh, I’m going to kill Amanda. My thoughts raced through my head. Should I deny it all, pretend I didn’t say anything?
“What?” Is all I could articulate at the moment. Kassidy tossed her long, red hair over a shoulder, it hung in a long braid down to her waist. She tapped a booted foot and waited for me to say something more. When I didn’t, she flipped her hair again and continued,
“The girls and I were around when she was talking to him. I think it’s adorable that you like him. He seems your type, I mean, it makes sense you’d both be attracted to each other. You’re both like little kids, you can share rattles and whisper sweet goo-goo gah-gahs in each other’s ears. Who knows, maybe he’ll even share his pacifier with you,” she said with a grin. I knew what she really meant. I want to slap her in the face. I swear I’ll hit her but then, I don’t. “Good luck with everything, if you need help changing diapers don’t come to me.” Those are her last words, and then she walks away, her hand in the air as she waves people out of her way. Why couldn’t Amanda at least wait to talk to Bradley alone? I can’t blame Amanda for this, it’s not her fault that Kassie is a nosy bitch.
I continue on with my day, I will not let Kassie’s words get to me. Once lunch comes around, I’m afraid to walk anywhere. I’m scared to find Bradley waiting for me somewhere with Amanda. The times I’ve hung out with him, Angela, and Gabriel, it’s all been chill; now things are going to be super awkward. I decide on taking a walk around the school instead of my usual spot at the bleachers.
I walk for what feels like the entirety of the lunch hour when in reality it’s only been ten minutes. As I walk by the make-out tree, which is the schools’ name for it, all you see are couples kissing. I spot Bradley, standing next to a tree with Amanda. They are looking my way. Shit! I turn around and start to walk away though I knew they had already seen me. Real smooth Vidya! I said to myself when I heard Amanda call out, “Hey, Vee!” I turn back around and walk towards them. Bradley’s smiling ear to ear, although he does look nervous. He shuffles from foot to foot and begins to fidget as I approach. My heart’s pounding like crazy. I can hear the hum of it in my ears.
“Hey,” I say once I reach them and wave awkwardly. I’m staring at the ground; I’m too embarrassed to look at Bradley.
“Have fun you two,” is all Amanda says and winks at me, before leaving me here alone with Bradley. I continue to stare at the grass, the little yellow flowers, a rock. Anything but Bradley, when I hear my name rolls off his lips.
“Vidya,” Bradley says. I look up to meet his eyes. They’re so beautiful. So deep and full of emotion.
“Yes?”
“Do you want to go for a walk?” he says nervously.
I nod as a smile creeps across my face, “I’d like that.”
“Cool,” he says with a nod of his head. We start to walk around the lawn, avoiding stepping on the legs of students laying in the grass to study, or kiss, or both. “You know I was surprised when Amanda came up to me yesterday.” I look up to meet his eyes. I hadn’t noticed before how tall he is. He’s got to be, like, nearly six feet tall. I must totally look like a minion beside him; I’m only just around five feet tall. He shoves his hands into his jean pockets as we walk, “I hadn’t really spoken to her since junior high. When she told me about you, I nearly flipped. I mean, no girl has ever shown interest in me. I’m honoured,”
“You’re a really nice guy Bradley—”
“You can call me Brad if you’d like,” he says shyly and runs a hand up the back of his head through the short stubbly hairs there. He flicks his head to throw his long bangs out of his eyes.
“You’re a really nice guy Brad. It actually, kind of, shocks me to hear that no girl has shown interest in you before. I mean really you’re perfect, your funny, sweet—” He stops walking and stares at me, eyes wide open. Shit, why did I say that! What is my problem? I need to play this cool.
“I have a good feeling about you,” I finish lamely. Brad grins at me with that goofy lopsided grin that started it all. My heart stops beating for a second, or maybe it’s that my heart was beating so fast it was humming? Either way, this feeling in my chest was nice. My entire body felt like it had been struck by lightning. I never wanted this feeling to go away.
Who would have seen it coming? Seventeen-year-old Vidya Fletcher was talking to a guy she liked. And he liked her. It was insane, it was beyond crazy. And his name was Bradley, Brad, for crying out loud. All the guys in movies with that name were always super popular. They were the captains of the Football or Basketball team, and they had blond hair and blue eyes. Not this Brad, the Brad from my school is adorable and sweet and nerdy. My junior year at a new high school was going better than I expected. I gasp as Brad holds a hand out to me, he doesn’t say a word, but I know what he wants. I smile and slip a hand into his, and we walk back towards the main school building with fingers interlaced. Yes, I’ve got this! I say and give myself a little fist pump with the other hand when Brad isn’t looking. I suspect he did the same.
Chapter 3
“So, who can tell me the names of all six noble gases,” asks our Biology teacher, Mrs Samson, in hopes of getting someone to participate in class. Considering it is Friday we are mostly just sitting here. Listening to the lecture. Bored out of our minds and ready to go home for the weekend. I sit with my arms crossed on my desk with my chin resting on top of them and let out a sigh and roll my eyes as the professor prods us again, “Anyone,” she looks all around the room, and her eyes land on me. “Vi
dya, the girl who is dating Mr Bradley Lancaster,” I didn’t believe it when people said that teachers where always nosing in on their students’ lives. Now I do.
“We’re not dating,” I shout, leaving Mrs Samson perplexed. “We are just friends who are getting to know each other better, nothing more,” I may have given more information than I needed to, but I felt I needed to nip this in the bud before it got out of hand. I could feel several pairs of eyes staring at me.
Mrs Samson dismisses my answer with a shrug, “Whatever you say, Ms Fletcher,” she says, her tone one of utter sarcasm. “Still, please tell the class the names of the six noble gases?”
“Helium, Neon, Argon, Xenon, Radon, and Krypton,” I prattle them off having memorised them long ago. I sucked at math, but I was great with science.
“Very good, moving on with the rest of the periodic table,” Mrs Samson continues on with the class. I lean back in my seat and stare out the window, thinking of Bradley. Brad. I smiled. He said I could call him Brad and it made me tingle all over thinking about it. It’s been three whole weeks since that moment. I spend the rest of the class thinking about Brad and the way he makes me feel when the bell rings, and I’m out of my seat in a flash.
By the time I get home, I’m beaten. The day was so full of new material, group projects, and loads and loads of homework. So, if I want any chance of getting some me time, I know I should get my homework done ASAP. As for Brad and I, things have gone pretty well. He’s always telling jokes and goofing around. He finds the humour in everything. He makes me smile, just thinking about him. We’ve actually started hanging out with my entire class during our lunch breaks. Except for Angela and Gabriel, they have lunch with some of the seniors now. Which is weird, but who cares. Not my business. I’m even hanging out with Kassie. Sort of. Yeah, she’s included in the group. She hasn’t pulled out any stunts yet, so I’m grateful for that. So even though I’m positive she gossips about us behind our backs, I’m starting to think that maybe she isn’t so bad. Perhaps she’s just trying to keep appearances. She’s still bitchy when she wants to be, but again, it’s cool being able to spend time with different people, it makes each day exciting. Although sometimes I wish she wasn’t around, I’m just glad that she doesn’t talk to me or about me, to my face anyway.
Something I’ll never get over is the fact that Bradley waits with me on the curb until my mom comes to pick me up after school. He usually walks to his house or skateboards, since he lives close by. But it’s those little things he does that make him such an incredible guy.
The first time my mother noticed him waiting with me, she immediately asked who the cute guy was. That was the moment I decided it would be a good time to tell her about us, I told her the whole story on the way home. Mom listened with a smile on her face and revealed she already had suspected there was a guy. I’d been spending way more time than usual fixing my hair, my clothes, my makeup and I’d been in such a good mood lately. Completing my chores without question while singing quietly to myself. But then, mom always seemed to know what was going on.
After dinner, I take a seat at my desk and prepare for the giant pile of homework ahead. There is English, Biology, and my least favourite Math. They all gave us work to complete for Monday.
In less than two hours, I’m done with everything. So, as usual, one of my favourite activities is annoying my mother. I’m an only child, so I don’t have a younger sister to annoy or an older sister to ask for advice. All I have is a mom and, occasionally, my dad. A lot of kids think it’s cool that I get all my parents’ attention and that my mom is often more a friend and confidant than a mom. But it actually has its drawbacks. For instance, I love my mom and feel I could ask her anything, but I absolutely, never in a million years, not on my dying breath would ask my mom about kissing or sex.
I find her in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables for meal prep. She likes to keep a steady supply of frozen bags for the instant pot we bought last year, it’s like a crockpot on steroids, and since my dad works late, she likes to have some easy meals to cook.
“Hi, mom, what you doing?” I look at her with puppy eyes, before turning to lean back on the counter. I make a face at whatever it is she’s cutting. Lately, she also got into protein replacement foods, and I don’t know what she was chopping, but it wasn’t natural.
“Just chopping veggies all by my lonesome, why?” she eyes me curious.
“No reason, I was just in the neighbourhood and I thought I’d stop by and see what you’re up to,” I casually say, eyeing her every move.
“So, you were in the neighbourhood—”
“Yep,” I squint my eyes and smile at her.
“This is your home you silly, you weren’t just in the neighbourhood,” she says with a laugh. She grabs a large onion and wiggles it in my face, “Oh, please no. Not an onion. Mom, they smell so bad,”
I place my hands under my chin and lean over the counter, “I mean, I should get a say on what goes in the pot, right?” I say slowly with a smile, “I do live here. Who would have thought?” I love doing this. My mom and I have a healthy relationship. That’s why it’s always so fun just to fool around, and say stupid things around her. She doesn’t mind, she knows I’m in a sarcastic mood most of the time. Now when my dad’s around, I’m more serious, I tend to keep my fun side more hidden since he’s not exactly the kind of dad who would get my sarcastic humour. No, he’s a serious man and frankly quite scary sometimes. So, my relationship with him is more like that of co-workers to me, even though we have our father-daughter moments, “So when is dad going to come home?” I ask. She presses her mouth into a thin line as her brow creased. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. These days he seems to spend his time at work more often. But his job is essential. He oversees production in a large pharmaceutical company, and he gets paid a lot to do it. We live pretty comfortably, and even without the scholarship, we probably could have afforded for me to attend Preston Prep.
I look away, knowing it’s a sore spot in mom and dad’s relationship. As the knife sinks into the onion, the smell of it itches my nose and I sneeze. Loudly. Breaking the sudden tension. We look at each other. And burst into laughter.
“Bradley,” it’s another lazy Wednesday, and we’re sitting under a tree near the school entrance, both of us looking up at the sky. Clouds drift by, their undersides are dark and heavy looking. I think it’ll rain today, or at least by this evening. There is now a slight chill in the air that wasn’t there just a few weeks ago.
“Yeah?” he looks at me through the corner of his eye. I turn my body towards him; leaves getting caught in the long strands of my hair. Several of them, green and yellow and orange, begin to spin through the air as a breeze yanks them free from the branches over our heads. It’s been nine weeks. It’s well into fall now, but I don’t mind the chill, I’m still feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside as Brad holds my hand.
Bradley reaches out with the other hand and picks the leaves from my hair. “This is nice,” I say. “This peace and quiet, it’s nice.”
“It is,” he says, caressing my cheek. We decided to ditch the group today and hand out together, just the two of us. Well not precisely ditch the group, we’re at our spot earlier than usual, so the rest are still eating lunch inside. “Can I ask you a question?” he says, letting go of my hand and laying back down in the grass.
“Sure, shoot,” I say, settling next to him.
“Do you believe in the power of the universe,” I roll my head to the side and stare at him dumbfounded. “Like—” he props himself onto his elbows, “There’s this higher power, higher than God, or man, or even science. That exists out there in the world. Destiny maybe? Or the power of the universe,” he points up to the sky. “It’s meant to guide us on life’s journey, leading us to make the right decisions that are meant to make us whole,”
I interrupt him before he says more, “You’ve thought about this a lot, huh.”
“I have. Countless times before. I like thin
king about things that human beings have no control over, like the weather, although that’s less exciting than the universe.”
“You have a point there. Although I’ve never directly given much thought myself about it, I have thought about other things. Like why do humans exist when everything we touch, we destroy, what are we good for anyway?”
“I’ve had those thoughts too. I know what you mean. We Homo sapiens know nothing. We think we do, but in reality, we’re no good pieces of shit,”
“That was sudden,” I say laughing at his outburst on humanity.
“Yeah, I tend to hate on the entire existence of humanity sometimes,”
“Does that mean you hate yourself too?” I ask, eyeing him inquisitively.
“Yes, that does mean I hate myself; all human beings are included,” I look at him with a frown on my face. Sitting up, I draw my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, “Okay then,” I say quietly. He realises his words affected me and, sitting up next to me, takes my hand into his, “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it like that. Truly,” He kisses the top of my hand. “I like you. I like you very much.” I can’t help it. I giggle.
Brad’s a good friend, different as he is, everyone gets along with him. He’s just so genuine. Although other people don’t really understand him at times, I don’t either. But I try. I listen and try to understand his crazy theories about life in general. The others, they don’t really get anything at all, and they don’t even try. Whenever he starts talking about meaningless things, they all shut their ears and tend to focus on other conversations. Rude I know, but what’s ruder are all the stares I get from answering his questions or commenting on his out of this world theory. I mean people should be a little bit more understanding of his personality. Not everyone’s the same. I just wish they’d at least act like they care. Or at least that was how I felt.