by Charity Rose
After the movie, we then head to Walmart to pick up some groceries. I love Walmart, mainly because of the book and music section. That’s where I’m heading while my mom wrestles with the cart to collect her extensive list of items.
Making my way to the book aisle, I spot one I know I’m interested in. So, I pick up the pace. There seems to be only one book left, and I’m determined to make it mine. I’m inches away from reaching it when some guy steps in the way and takes the book in his hands, and of course, I crash into him—both of us land on the floor.
His body cushioned my fall, and I couldn’t be more embarrassed. I get up and start apologising profusely, “I am so, so sorry,” I say while dusting off my blouse, “I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings and—”
“Vidya?” I know that voice. I look up, and it’s Keith. Are you fucking kidding me? I crashed into Keith? He gets up immediately, holding the book out in one hand.
“Keith,” I say my voice almost inaudible.
He looks at me smugly, crossing his arms after placing the book back in its original spot. “So—” that so rolls easily off his tongue, “You wouldn’t have stopped either, huh?” I make a face, tilting my head. I’m confused, what’s he talking about? The book? “Uh, hell no I wouldn’t have stopped, I’ve been waiting for this book since it was announced three months ago,” I say, I pick up the book and clutch it against my chest. Keith smiles, his eyes sparkling in the fluorescent light. He even made fluorescents look good, “Really? I’m not talking about the book,” he says and flips his phone out of his jacket pocket, holding it up in the air.
Oh. That. Shit.
“Do we really have to do this, now?” I ask, “My mom’s here, and people are watching,”
“Would you rather we have this conversation over the phone? Or maybe, somewhere else?” he arches one eyebrow in question, grinning. His blue eyes grow darker, like a storm over the ocean. I thought that was something you read about in books; I didn’t know it could actually happen. I shake my head as I stare into the pools of dark water. He steps forward, “So, tell me then—” he’s standing now inches away from me, and leans down till his face is right next to mine. I can smell the mixture of shampoo and cologne on his skin and hair, the minty scent makes my nose tingle, and a wave of warmth crashes over my body. I suck in a breath as he turns his head just a bit, “Why didn’t you kiss me?” he whispers in my ear. His warm breath brushes over my skin. The wave turns into a squall, and I shiver makes my whole-body tremble, I can feel all the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Make him stop. No, wait, don’t stop. Wait no, he should totally stop. This is too much!
“I told you. I – I didn’t want to do anything I’d regret,” I stutter through that entire sentence. My ears are growing warm, and I throw my hands up over them to make sure my hair is covering them. I don’t want him to see how he affects me.
“But you wanted to?”
I swallow. My throat is dry, and I feel like I could drain eight bottles of water this instant. “Yes,” I say in a barely audible whisper. I actually did. His eyes were so piercing, and his lips so soft looking. He smelt terrific too, and what the hell is wrong with me?
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he removes the book from my grasp. My jaw falls open as he examines the cover, front and back, “I’m guessing you wanted this?” he flips the pages of the book in his hands. “Since you almost killed me for it,” I suppress a laugh. But a smile evidently makes an appearance on my face. He hands me the book.
“Thank you.” I turn on my heel before he can say anything, but it’s too late.
“Vidya,” I listen, but don’t turn around, “You still owe me that kiss, which I just might have to steal from you someday.”
My face burns with embarrassment when a few teens checking out some magazines near us giggle and turn to look at Keith. He smiles and waves at them, which sets them to giggling more. I shake my head and keep walking with my prized book. I don’t understand anything. Instead of only being confused about my troubles with Brad, now I’m confused about Keith as well. My god, two guys! I’m starting to feel like I’m stuck in a harem romance book. I am in this way over my head.
I am certainly not looking forward to Monday, not one single bit.
As I walk away from my phone buzzes, I look down. It’s Bradley. He doesn’t often text, preferring the retro option of a phone call or a note passed in class,
bRad: I’m sorry that they dared you to kiss Keith; he’s got a bad history. I’m glad you chose to walk away.
Chapter 6
Sunday goes by in a blur, and before I know it, Monday’s here and I have to face the inevitable. First, confront Bradley and tell him how I feel. Second, find out more about Keith. What Brad wrote to me on Saturday left me wondering what kind of history Keith could possibly have. I mean, I can’t deny that he scares me just a little. Or really, it isn’t that he scares me. That wouldn’t be the right word. It’s more that he is just so intense. He wears his emotions on his sleeve and isn’t afraid to act on his impulses, but that encounter at Walmart left me unsettled.
I arrive pretty early to school, it’s not even 7:00am yet, so I decide to text Brad and ask him if he can show up a bit earlier today. He replies with an okay, and that he’ll be here in five. Putting my phone away, I walk to the entrance of the school, and I take a seat at one of the creaky benches, pull out my new book, and read while I wait. After a few minutes, I close when the book, and put it away when I spot Brad riding his skateboard. He stops once he sees me and jumps off of it, kicking the board up into the air he caught it mid-flip.
In an attempt to make things feel normal, I end up giving him this weird, awkward side hug. I bounce back away from him, tugging at the hem of my sweater. The past weeks feels like it has gotten chillier and I find that I’ve been wearing them more often, “So what’s up?” he asks, eyeing me strangely, almost like he’s trying to figure me out, but at the same time his mind looks preoccupied. I can feel the tension vibrating through the space between us, “Why’d you want to meet up so early?”
I stumble for the right words to say, “Bradley, I want to be completely honest with you. Because that’s all, you’ve ever been with me,” I say. Bradley takes a seat next to me on the bench and lets out a sigh. I can see him deflate as all the air rushes from his lungs and his shoulders hunch over. You can do this, I continue, “I thought it would be best if you and I just remained friends,” I finished, clenching my fists on top of my knees. I can’t look at him for a whole minute before I turn my head and see a frown on his face. It’s not like any I’ve ever seen before.
“How come,” he asks suddenly. I didn’t think I’d have to explain myself. He looks vulnerable and betrayed and dismayed all at once.
“I’d rather not lose a friend if something goes wrong. Plus, I don’t know, maybe I’m just not ready for a boyfriend,” I say. It’s a lie, I know. I so badly want a boyfriend; it’s just that I don’t want him to be that boyfriend. At least not anymore. I look at his profile, his dark eyes grow all the more mysterious, “Bradley?” I prompt.
“It’s fine, Vidya,” he stands abruptly, “I’ll see you around.”
I grab hold of his arm before he walks away. “Wait, Brad, are you okay?” I ask, concerned, “I mean. Are we okay?” He seems out of sorts. I expected him to be angry, to be sad, to yell or to cry, but he doesn’t show any emotions at all.
“We’re good,” he says, his jaw is clenched. The flutter of muscle along his jaw tells me he is grinding his teeth; I hate it when he does that. I can feel the anger finally start to seep through him as he breaks free from my grasp with a jerk. He backs away, his hands in the air, he says, “I just can’t look at you right now, don’t bother eating lunch with me,” he says with finality. I watch his back as he enters the school, throwing the door open and letting it slam into the side of the building in a display of aggression I’ve never seen before. I look away, and suddenly, the feeli
ng in my gut falls apart. Instead of relief, I feel a deep sadness that tugs at my guts, threating to force my breakfast back up. I run my hands over my eyes and feel the moisture there. I’m crying. Why am I crying? I wanted this. I didn’t say anything wrong. I was gentle; I don’t know how else I could have said what I wanted to say without hurting us both in some way.
Amid the chaos of students arriving, I rush over to Angela, who’s sitting inside the school. I give her a huge hug. Angela has become my best friend over the past month. She’s everything these days. The sister I never had and so badly wished I could confide in and right now I really needed someone to talk to. These feelings were just too big for me to handle on my own, I needed some girl advice. “What did you do, Vidya?!” It’s not a really a question and more like a command, “Brad told me.”
“Oh,” I say. I cast my eyes to the ground, watching the shoes all around me as they pass by.
“Why didn’t you come to me, why didn’t you tell me you were having second thoughts about him?” she asks genuinely hurt. She flips her hair back over her shoulder and steps in close to me, resting a hand on my shoulder. Her initial anger has melted away, leaving the gentle girl I now know, “You shouldn’t have gone through this alone. I could have talked to him with you, I’m here for you.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” I nod and take her hand as we walk to our lockers, “I just—” I hesitate. Not sure what I should tell her. But this is Amanda. She’s my best friend, and if anyone should know what happened, it’s her. I should have told her everything from the beginning. I decide to tell her the truth. “At first, everything was great. I loved Brad and his sweetness, his sense of humour, but I feel like Brad just isn’t boyfriend material,” I tell her the whole story of how at first, I was okay with Brad’s strange personality. It made him interesting and made things fun when we hung out around town. He would just do silly little pranks at first. Or say stupid things. But then, after the incident in the gym when he ran around half naked? That was the pin in the balloon. I decided I couldn’t do this anymore.
“You’re not totally wrong,” she agrees with me. “He does act like a big kid sometimes,” I eye her sceptically and she nods, “Okay. Most of the time,” she corrects herself. “I think what you said was perfect. He’ll come around. All he needs now is some time to realise why this happened, and maybe, just maybe, he’ll grow up a little,” she smiles. Looping her arm through mine, we walk to our first class. Everything seems to be back to normal as she jumps right into a conversation, “So, did you see what Mrs Marybeth is wearing today?”
The school day is almost at an end. So far, I’ve made it through the day with only a few stares when I didn’t sit with Brad and the others for lunch today. Instead, Amanda and I chose to eat on the back lawn outside. Even though it was nearly Fall break, today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, and a few birds sang as we ate. I was sitting in my History class, listening to a dramatic Presidential speech as read by Mr Summerfield. Leaning over the top of my desk, I rest my chin in my cupped hands and gaze out the window. The soccer team is out practising so at least that gives me something to look at while I ignore the lesson. I still haven’t found out anything about Keith. I really don’t know who to ask or what to ask for that matter. I’m curious about him sure, but I’m also still a bit nervous about him and about my attraction to him. I would never have thought of myself as the ‘girl who likes bad boys’ type. I’m making my way to my favourite and last class of the day, Art, when a classmate of mine runs up to me in a frenzy. It’s Ethan Hart. I remember him because he sucked at science and freaked out when we had to dissect a human heart in the lab a few weeks ago. He staggers to a stop in front of me and bends over to catch his breath. His shaggy brown hair hangs over his matching eyes in messy ringlets. He sucks in a deep breath and stands. Looking at me with his eyes narrowed he opens his mouth and,
“Vidya, what the fuck did you do to Bradley?” he shouts loudly, and several students stop and stare at us, whispering to their selves.
“Whoa,” I raise my hands in defence, “I didn’t do anything to Bradley. I just told him that I wanted to be friends, that’s all,”
“Yeah, well apparently he doesn’t feel the same,” Ethan says, his voice still so loud that I know everyone can hear us.
“What do you mean Ethan?” I’m exasperated at this point. Because he looks at me like he’s accusing me of a crime.
“I mean Bradley! He fucking punched a mirror in the guy’s restroom. His hand was bleeding and everything. I had to calm him down because he was about to punch one of the other mirrors. I was in there with him for nearly ten minutes talking him down, he refused to go to the nurse. I had to use his fucking gym shirt to wrap his hand,”
“But, is he okay now?” I ask slowly. My body is trembling. I didn’t know he could do something like that. He was always the sweetest, gentlest guy I’ve known. To think he would flip out like that, it’s just unfathomable. I knew he had taken is badly but damn.
“He’s fine now, I think, he went home. I covered for him with our professor. I cleaned the blood and smashed the rest of the mirror up so it’d look like an accident. I’m lucky no one else was in the bathrooms at that moment,” Ethan continued, “I told the principal the mirror had been loose for a while, and that it fell down when I slammed the door against the wall accidentally. He bought it thankfully.” He brings a hand to his neck and rubs it nervously, I can see sweat trickling down his temples, “Look you might not know this, but Brad and I had known each other from way back at summer camp when we were twelve. He’s a sensitive guy, so believe me when I say his emotions run deep. I mean, he was in love with you Vee. He told me himself several times. You may have not been there yet or even close, but he was. To him, this was the real deal,” his words pierced through me like a knife. I feel like the shittiest person on Earth. I should have thought this out more. I should have talked with Amanda and the others first. People that actually knew and cared for Bradley. Although Keith said I did the right thing, I can’t shake Ethan’s conversation away. Did Brad really punch a mirror? I mean, I’ve only ever seen people react that way in movies. I never thought people actually did things like that, especially not people like Brad.
Ethan walks away slowly, glancing back at me only once to say, “Remember what I told you, Bradley isn’t like other guys. He just isn’t,”
Call me crazy for what I’m about to do. But I already spoke with Angela, and I don’t feel like bothering her any further on the whole Brad situation. I pick up my phone and text Keith.
Vee: Is this a bad time? Can we talk?
Several minutes pass without a reply, shit. I guess I’m on my own for now. I look up at the clock that hangs above my head. I’m late for class. Taking my seat just in time I go back to daydreaming only now, I can’t get Ethan’s words out of my head.
After school, I head to the kitchen to help my mom finish up with dinner. I’m cutting up the carrots when my mom asks me if something’s up. If there’s anyone who would notice my shift in mood, it’s her. I don’t want her to worry or anything, so I dismiss her question and say that I’m just drained from all the work I’ve got to do over the week. Which is mostly true, fall break is coming up, and that means mid-terms will be here soon. I really do need to study! I’ve been so focused on Brad and Keith and everything else that I’ve barely spent any time studying. If I get even a single bad grade, I know my dad will ground me for the rest of the year. If that happened, I’d never had the opportunity to get to know Keith better.
Mom purses her lips and narrows her eyes, watching my face. I know she is trying to figure things out. I don’t want to give her a chance, so I reach out and wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly, “Nothing is wrong, I’m just feeling nervous about mid-terms,”
“Wait, why would you be nervous about your exams? You’ve been studying right?” she asks. Whoops. Wrong word choice. I nod, “Of course I’ve been studying, you worry too much,”
Once we’ve eaten our meal, I head into my room to actually start off a bunch of homework I’ve got due. But the glow of my cell phone demands I check to see if there are any new messages. I frown when I see none. Oh well, homework it is.
It’s nearly seven o’clock, the sun is dipping low on the horizon. Its brilliant yellow light turning the leaves scarlet red, fiery orange and bright gold as the rays pass through the trees. The entire mountain is ablaze with fall fire, it’s beautiful. Sometimes I forget how gorgeous it is out there. It’s nice to take a break and just, take it all in. And I’m pretty much done with homework anyway. I’ll finish the rest later.
I join my parent’s downstairs to watch TV for the evening, phone in pocket. My dad is home for a rare afternoon, so he and mom are cuddled up on the sofa together. I can see my mom’s face is a shade of pink, as is my dad’s. The half-empty wine glasses on the coffee table tell me why. Sitting down at the other end of the sofa, I check the messages once again. I don’t know why, but Brad’s text still bugs me, and I’ve yet to have the chance to find out more. I’m watching the movie, it’s a horror, I nearly jump out of my skin when my phone buzzes against my thigh. I look at my parents, feeling embarrassed. Mom and dad burst into laughter as I slip off the sofa and disappear upstairs into my room. Mom and dad yell ‘goodnight’ and say something about checking under my bed for monsters. I roll my eyes and then read the message,
Agent Keith: No, it’s not a bad time. What’s on your mind?
Vee: A lot actually. Did you hear about Brad?
Agent Keith: If it’s a lot then wouldn’t it be better if we talked on the phone?
Vee: Okay