He shrugged. “I’m deeply in favor of drinking, obviously. In moderation, I hope. But that’s really not my business. Drugs? I don’t smell them on you, not even whatever the True Believers were giving you. Whatever you did, that’s your business. We all have pasts.”
Now that was interesting. Was it possible he could really be that accepting of her? And what did he mean torture? She wanted to ask, but she also did not want to know. None of this made any sense. Chelsea didn’t have that much experience with men, except the ones who always wanted to fuck her when she’d been sixteen and on her own. Before that, it had all been teenage boys, and they were nothing to go by. Television made men seem really dumb, with intentions the female characters could never work out. Unless they weren’t good looking, and then they were passed over.
She stared at Hayden. He definitely fell into the handsome category. Striking. Big. Male. Hot…
“What if I was a stripper? A hooker?”
He sucked in his breath, his dark gaze piercing hers. “Did you do those things to survive? How was there no one in the universe to take care of you? The Moon should have done better for my mate. If I ever meet her, I’ll let her know.”
Chelsea sighed loudly. “All right, I didn’t strip or work the streets. We were more like punks. There were ten of us. We slept in abandoned houses, stole. I got good at picking pockets. Shoplifted. Fortunately, it never gets really cold in Southern California. But my stomach was always growling.”
She wasn’t usually one to share, but she wanted to tell Hayden who she was. He was a werewolf, or so he claimed, and they were standing in what could very possibly be the most beautiful place she’d ever been, hundreds of miles from her childhood home, and yet still considered the same state—she wanted him to know who she was. The true nitty-gritty that made up Chelsea Steefle.
“How did the True Believers find you?”
“I had my first episode about six months into my homelessness. Someone saw it. Rumors about it flew around. A few of the kids that were with me left. They didn’t want to be with the freak. I guess eventually the True Believers heard about me and came investigating. By then I was basically alone. I went with them, knowing it might be a bad idea. I had no other options. And they promised to feed me.”
He took her hand in his. “I tortured people for the Alpha Prime. But now I’m a farmer, basically. I live for my pack and my grapes.”
“Back up and explain all of that.” She’d gone so long thinking of weird, possibly pretend, monsters that the True Believers obsessed about. Now one stood in front of her, and all she wanted to do was caress the hard edges of his arm muscles. Would he think that was really weird?
“We have a system of laws in the werewolf world. All Wolves are loyal to an Alpha wolf. Usually, the Alpha of their pack. Here, in Napa, I’m the Alpha. Although how and why that happened is complicated. It’s questionable whether I should be.”
“Why? You seem to be doing a good job. Look at this place. You’re clearly loaded, and you’re making a vineyard work. That can’t be easy.” She touched one of the plants, running her hand across the hard branch.
“That’s the human part. Yes, I do that just fine. Whether or not I should be Alpha of a pack remains to be seen.”
He needed to finish his explanation. She still didn’t know what an Alpha Prime was. “Finish what you were saying. We can debate whether or not you should be an Alpha after.”
Hayden rubbed his hands together. “Maybe you should be the Alpha. You certainly do like to give orders.”
“No one ever does what I say. I give them directions but no one listens.” She smiled, her cheeks heating up. Maybe she could be a little less forceful in the way she spoke to him.
“You keep ordering. I kind of like it.” He stared off into the distance. Where was his mind? She knew it had travelled far away from where they stood. “Until recently, all the Alphas were loyal to the same man. His name was Lucian, and he was called the Alpha Prime. Over the years, Lucian ran what were essentially elite Alpha training camps at his home in North Carolina. Savage, that’s my older brother, and I were both invited to go the first year. After that, just Savage. I thought I was done. It was the kiss of death when Lucian didn’t pick you. It meant that all those Alpha instincts weren’t going to go to leading a pack.”
Chelsea crossed her arms. She’d always hated bullies. “Who died and appointed him the wolf god?”
“Well, actually, the Alpha Prime in front of him. I think his name was Prentice, but that was a long time ago…”
She stared up at him. She hadn’t had to use her street instincts in a long time, but she still had them, and the alarm that went off in her head to tell her she needed to sit up and pay attention rang loud and strong. “How long ago?”
“Believe it or not, I’m trying really hard to limit the amount of baggage I dump at you at one time.”
Hayden’s non-answer spoke volumes. He was hiding something.
“I think you’d better come out with it then. How long ago did Prentice die?”
“A couple of hundred years ago.” He held out his hands in front of him as if he might ward off an attack. “Look, we live longer than you do. And when you mate me, from what I understand about human-wolf pairings, you’re going to have an extension of your own life.”
Her heart rate sped up until it raced in her chest. She’d been relatively cool about all of it right until that point. Two hundred years? Mating him would affect her life span? How long? Now things had just taken a different turn. How long could she live with her visions spinning her life out of control? It was too much, the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
Hayden sucked in his breath, but she didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. She took off running through the vines. The sandals she’d been wearing stunted her sprint, and she kicked them off, even knowing she’d likely cut up the bottom of her feet.
She had to get out of there now. This wasn’t the first time she’d run for her life. Only now she had to do it against a werewolf in his own vineyard. Hell, she was so dead. The vines cut into her when she was foolish enough to try to look over her shoulder, and blood dripped down her arm. If she got out of there intact, she’d consider herself a lucky woman.
Chelsea had run for so long she’d lost track of time, and she still hadn’t gotten out of his vineyard. Or maybe it wasn’t his anymore. How would she be able to tell if she crossed over into another winery? Did they have gates? With her breath coming in and out in short gasps, she stopped running. Her feet burned, and she was too out of breath to keep going at the pace she kept. Around her, the world went silent, which was a funny thought, but that was what stuck her as she listened to herself pant. Wherever she landed, she was going to find a gym. Too many years with the True Believers had made her soft.
He hadn’t chased her. Hayden had let her go. Tears swam to her eyes, and she pushed them away. What the fuck was the matter with her? She’d run to get away from him. He was a werewolf. She’d clearly needed something from him when she’d arrived. Now she couldn’t remember what that was, but it didn’t mean she had to stay where she didn’t want to be.
Only she had nowhere to go, and she was in Northern California with the gentle afternoon sun shining down on her tired body in waves of warmth that didn’t scorch her. A breeze caressed her skin, and a hot man—werewolf or no werewolf—who clearly had the soul of an artist from the way he loved the plants that made wine like they were his babies wanted her in his life. For an extra-long time. When had anyone ever desired her presence?
And she’d just told him that she had stolen from people, used drugs, and he hadn’t even blinked. Because he had a past too, one he’d been trying to tell her about when she’d taken off like the coward she consistently proved herself to be.
“Chelsea.”
Hayden’s voice made her jump, and she whirled around to find him right behind her. How had he gotten there? He didn’t seem out of breath at all, and she’d not
heard a sound at his approach.
“You’re bleeding.” He took her arm in his. “We can’t have this. Let’s get back to the house. I’ll treat your wounds.”
She cleared her throat. “I ran from you.” Speaking the obvious seemed the only choice.
“Yes.” He nodded.
She searched his dark eyes for any sign of anger or hurt and didn’t find any. “Doesn’t that piss you off?”
Hayden raised one eyebrow. “I’m surprised it took you so long.”
“Ugh.” She closed her eyes and ripped her arm from his embrace. “I’m so far out of my depth here I don’t know how I’ll ever find my way again. What the hell am I supposed to do? How are you any different than the True Believers? Don’t you also want to lock me up and keep me? Just like they did. Am I trading one destiny where I had no control for another one?”
“No.”
She opened her eyes at the forlorn sound he made. Deep sorrow surfaced in his gaze. His eyebrows furrowed, and he ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t want you to feel that way at all.”
“Well I do.” Sort of.
“Let me get you back home. I have to stop you from bleeding. It’s all I can think about. Okay? Then we’ll find you some place to live away from here.”
“Oh. Okay. Wait. What? You’re agreeing with me?”
He shook his head. “No. I don’t agree with you. Not even a little. I want you here. With me, for always. But I’ve just met you, and you’re human. You aren’t going to instantly want to move in. I get it.” Small lines appeared next to his eyes. “So we’ll get you something that’s yours, and we’ll figure it out.”
That wasn’t what she wanted, and she had no idea why since it suited her needs perfectly. But his words also made her skin crawl, and she wasn’t a woman who liked to be agitated. It was hard enough living with the fugues. The rest of her life had to be pleasant.
Knowing she lashed out at him unreasonably, she didn’t even try to stop herself from doing so. “Then I can be your kept woman. That’s great. Put me in a place like some kind of doll or, I don’t know, a child you can control.”
She jumped at him, her hands outstretched as if she might claw out his face. As far as she could remember, she’d never been violent before, but all she wanted to do in that moment was inflict pain. Even if doing so made her unreasonable. Deep inside, she knew Hayden had done nothing to warrant her behavior, and yet all she could do was react.
He caught her in his arms, and rather than restrain her, he tugged her up against him, pulling her tight until her head was tucked against his chest, and he held her still. “Shh. Now. It’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid.”
His voice felt like warm boon on her frozen soul. “I’m not afraid. I’m angry with you.” She shook against him, and he rubbed her back in a circular motion that felt surprisingly calming considering that before he’d started doing it she’d wanted to claw out his eyes.
“You’re not angry.” He rubbed his nose against her head, and she closed her eyes. “You’re tense, frightened, overwhelmed. And you have every right to be all of that. You’re here less than twenty-four hours, so, for now, let’s shelve the idea of where you’re going to go to next. You’ll stay here, for now. And you’ll let me take care of you because that is what I do.”
She raised her head to look at him. “I shouldn’t let you or want you to take care of me. I’ve been letting people do that for a long time. Or at least pretending that was what the True Believers were doing.”
“We’re not the True Believers. I’m an Alpha, and I know you’re not a werewolf, so you don’t exactly understand what that means…”
She laughed. “It means you’re in charge.”
“Yes, it does. But also that I am responsible for the well-being of everyone in my pack. Like it or not, human or not, you’re part of my pack. Even beyond that, you’re mine. For now, why don’t you just think of it as you being safe? I’m not much of an Alpha, other Alphas, like my brother, they just have inherent belief in themselves that I will never possess, they know what to do at all times. I’m damaged. I did horrible things. I’ll never be worthy the way the others are. But I will keep you safe.”
Listening to the strong beat of his heart, she could believe him. “Are you sure you’re a werewolf? Maybe you’re just crazy and think you shift at a Full Moon.”
He snorted. “If I set you down, can I trust you not to run again? I’ll always be able to catch you, but I won’t have your injuries made worse.”
“I’m not running.” She shook her head. “I kicked off my shoes a while back, and I have no idea what happened to them.”
“We’ll get them. They’re about a mile back.” He knew where her shoes were? Had he seen them, or was this some kind of werewolf smell thing? After a minute, he set her down.
“So what are you doing that I needed to get down?” Her heart had quit racing. It might be that Hayden had a weird werewolf mojo thing going on, but whatever it was, she appreciated that he’d calmed her and not freaked out when she had.
“Only Alphas of a pack can shift into their wolf form during a non-Full Moon.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to prove to you that I’m a werewolf so we can cross that off the list of things you’re not one hundred percent certain you believe in. You’ll know it’s a for-sure thing. You’ll know that neither I nor the True Believers were nuts. Well, the True Believers are only not about there being werewolves. But before I do that, I want you to keep in mind that I’m also a man.”
She let her eyes roam his toned form. “I’m not likely to forget it.”
“Well, just in case.” He tugged her against him. In the time between one breath and another, he kissed her. She gasped as his mouth met hers. Hayden was all heat, and his lips were soft but firm. She closed her eyes.
After a moment, he pulled back and exhaled loudly. “You’re still bleeding. I need to get you home, and since I don’t want to take you on the ground like some kind of fucking animal, I have to remember restraint.” He cracked his neck. “Not the easiest thing for me right now.”
Chelsea lowered her gaze and could see the bulge in his pants that evidenced his statement. Wow. If the tenting was any indication, Hayden would prove to be huge, and he really, really wanted her.
Hayden smirked. “Like what you see?”
Her mouth watered. “I don’t have all that much experience with this. I mean I haven’t been with anyone since I was fifteen. I don’t want you to, you know, get your expectations up.”
“Do you think your lack of partners is something that’s going to bother me? It’s a big giant plus, honey.” He shook his head. “Wait, I need to show you the wolf.”
“Right.” She tried to breathe slower. “Okay, don’t kiss me if you want me to stay focused because you’re really good at it.”
“Just remember that I’m also a man.”
She nodded. They’d covered this. “Do it if you can do it, and if not, then you and I can go visit a mental health facility together. Maybe they’ll have a two-for-one sale.”
Hayden grinned, and some of the lines by his eyes eased. “It’s a deal.”
One second he stood before her as a man, and in another, his body began to shift. His muscles tore, his bones cracked, and she cried out while she stumbled back two steps. Holy shit. It was really happening. Hayden was becoming a werewolf.
All of it what had been, at best, odd in theory was now strikingly real. Goosebumps appeared on her skin. There, in front of her, stood Hayden, now fully covered in black fur. He stared up at her with golden eyes.
She grabbed her throat before she could stop, her old compulsive habit from childhood rearing back to life. If Hayden wanted to eat her, grabbing her neck wasn’t going to save her.
“Hi.” Her voice sounded hoarse. “You’re still you, right? You aren’t going to suddenly want to feast on my pale human flesh?”
Hayden the wolf made a sound that had to be the equivalent of a can
ine laugh. Amusement sparkled in his eyes. The same tearing sound filled the air again, and seconds later, Hayden returned to his human form, clothes and all. She blinked as her mind tried to digest what she’d just seen. “Your wardrobe makes the shift with you?”
He shrugged. “Gift of the Moon I guess.”
“Right.” She reached out to touch his cotton shirt. “Okay. I believe you. You’re a werewolf.”
“You’re touching me. That’s a good sign.” He held out his hand and then placed her fingers in it. “Indulge me. I need to get your wounds taken care of. I can’t think about anything else.”
She nodded. “My cuts are nothing. But I won’t object to a little TLC.” She was just going to go with it. What other choice did she have?
****
Four days had passed, and Chelsea had fallen into a routine with the pack. She knew all twelve of them by name, and the idea that they were all werewolves had officially stopped freaking her out. She sipped the Chardonnay and tried to decide if she could actually discern the oaky flavor the people who had come to taste the wine could fathom. She didn’t seem to have much of a palate.
Hayden smiled and never criticized. Part farmer, part chemist, part salesman, and all hot male werewolf, he looked like he’d stepped out of a painting entitled virile man. The way he walked, the way he narrowed his gaze when he concentrated, the way she could see the wolf in his eyes when he said goodnight and left her in his room, alone, every evening made her heart flutter.
He wanted to claim her.
And he told her so right before he closed the door nightly.
She leaned against the wall in the modernly decorated tasting room. So what if she’d never remember what brought her to him? Why did it matter? Couldn’t she simply decide it didn’t?
Hayden caught her eye and crossed the room. “Penny for your thoughts?”
She smiled. “Not worth a penny.”
“Oh, I doubt that.”
“I was wondering if it was time for me to embrace this new part of my life. Do something remarkable with it, like graduate from high school. I haven’t had a vision since I got here.”
Dark Fates (A Paranormal Anthology) Page 18