The squawk of a crow overhead jolted Jack from his dismal contemplation, and he pushed away from the railing. Drawing in a strengthening breath, he made his way up the center of the high street toward the designated meeting place.
When he reached the front of the seemingly endless queue inside the coffee shop, he smiled at the capped and aproned teenager serving behind the counter.
“Um, black coffee, please. No sugar.”
She typed something into the register. “Do you want milk with that?”
Jack looked up from the change he was counting. “Black.”
She smiled. “Yep, got that. Milk?”
What’s wrong with this girl? Jack opened his mouth to try again, but she got there first.
“You can have it frothy, whipped, caramelized, or chocolate-injected.”
He arched an eyebrow while stifling the impulse to flick her in the eye. “Chocolate-injected?”
Her smile stretched. “Cool, huh?”
“I’ll just take it black.”
“Black? No milk? No whip? Nothing?”
Jack silently counted to three, slapped on a wider smile than before, and shrugged. “I’m boring. What can I say?”
“You got that right.” She ripped the receipt from the cash register and approached the guy who actually made the coffee before Jack could think of anything to say.
Despite the absurdity of the last few moments, he laughed and went to the far end of the counter to wait for his drink. His mood strangely lifted, and his outlook became a little more upbeat. Life went on as normal regardless; it was a lesson he kept repeating in his mind as he waited. Whatever happened with Martina happened. The world wouldn’t end today. That day would come if he ever lost Katy or Holly.
His coffee was put on a tray in front of him, and he nodded his thanks to the guy before picking it up and walking through the tables of people chatting, reading, or typing on laptops. Sitting down in a leather seat so comfortable it should have been in someone’s living room, Jack stared out at the people passing in front of the shop’s floor-to-ceiling window. Glancing now and then at the closed door, he had an unhindered view of whoever entered.
Thirty minutes later, Jack checked his watch. Martina was late—only ten minutes past the agreed meeting time, but late all the same. His already stretched nerves tightened.
He scanned the street, looking for what, he had no idea. Would she even look the same? A decline of some sort in her appearance was inevitable, considering how she’d used to drink. Once upon a time, her hair had fallen like a golden curtain down her back, her huge green eyes happy and endlessly fascinated with the world around her…that had changed quickly and deeply within a year of the twins’ birth. She’d had her hair cropped short to her head, saying she had no time to look after it. Her eyes had darkened with a depression Jack had stupidly thought he’d tried his best to help lift.
He looked down at the table. He would do better this time around. He would be focused and really see her—for better or worse. All the time he’d spent running from one place to another chasing a story and hoping to have the break of his career…it had been for nothing. What did any of it matter? What was a career, accolades, money, or drive without a family around to celebrate your successes?
He gripped his hands together. He’d been sharp with Sienna the day before. On reflection, his knee-jerk reaction to her shop moving next door had been irrational and misplaced, and the hurt in her voice and eyes would be tattooed in his memory forever. Sienna’s self-preservation was thinly veiled behind a sheer curtain of nonchalance, and when he’d held her, the shaking of her body and the way her hair softly moved beneath his chin had betrayed her.
Jack drew in a deep breath. He didn’t want to battle with Sienna; he wanted her to fight with him in his corner. The thing worrying him, however, was that Sienna was a free spirit who valued her independence. What if she didn’t want to be tied down with a husband or family? What if she was more like Martina than he realized?
Bullshit. Not telling her how he felt had been a mistake. He’d offered her nothing in way of reassurance that everything was fine between them. Holding back never did anybody any good, but he’d closed up for her protection more than his own. Until he knew for sure what would happen with Martina from there on, the truth was that he didn’t want to make Sienna any promises he might break.
If Martina proved a threat, he’d have no problem moving again. How was he supposed to say that to Sienna, having made love to her? He felt like crap. He wasn’t the type of guy who slept with a woman and then walked away. Yet isn’t that exactly what he’d already done?
He tapped his foot against the parquet flooring. Damn Martina. Damn everything she was doing to him, their children…and Sienna, a woman who cheered him with just a smile, turned him on by just a flash of her bare shoulder. More than that, he loved the slowly evolving care for Holly and Katy that glowed like candlelight in her eyes. Whether she realized it or not, the apprehension she’d looked at them with weeks ago was gone.
No, he didn’t want things to end between him and Sienna before they’d even started, but Martina was back under his skin. Well, today she had a choice to make. She was either with him or against him. He hoped the former, but his gut told him his hopes of them bringing up the girls with equal responsibility were pinned on a pipedream.
The door clicked open, and Jack snapped his head up.
A mother and toddler.
Snatching his cell phone from the inside of his jacket, he punched in Martina’s number. It kicked straight to voicemail; she had her phone switched off. A pulse thumped in Jack’s head, and he pressed the end call button. Anger simmered in his blood like liquid anarchy waiting to escape and leak through his pores into the big wide world. What the hell was she playing at?
Torn between waiting and leaving, Jack decided to stay another half-hour before getting out of there. He glanced toward the door again.
Martina smiled and raised her hand in a wave as she weaved through the tables toward him.
Jack’s heart stopped. He slowly put his mug on the table and stood, his eyes unable to leave her face. “Martina.”
She smiled. “Hi, Jack.”
They stood immobile for a long moment before Jack gestured to the chair beside his. “Have a seat. Do you want coffee?”
“I’d love some tea. White. No sugar.”
“I’ll be just a minute.”
He walked to the counter. Martina’s appearance had knocked him entirely off-kilter. He’d prepared for a lank-haired, gray-pallored alcoholic—not Martina looking together and calm, like the woman he’d first met. She was dressed in skinny blue jeans, a white T-shirt, and brown cotton jacket. Her hair was still cropped short but well-groomed and suited to her elfin face. She looked great. But she also looked like a woman in armor, ready to do whatever necessary to win in combat. The one thing she couldn’t hide from Jack was her eyes. They looked no warmer than they had the last time they’d met.
Nonetheless, his mind raced as he ordered her tea. A strange sensation ripped through him that felt too much like admiration, and he couldn’t weaken. Martina was clever, manipulative. He wouldn’t forget that. He was ready for her. He would tell her about Sienna, about the shop, and the terms on which he would only begin to consider joint custody. Whatever Martina was up to, she had a long way to go before he would trust her with his beloved babies.
Taking her drink from the guy behind the counter, Jack lifted his chin and willed his heartbeats to slow down. A smile was impossible, but maybe something less scary than an out-and-out scowl was achievable.
As he held out the drink to her, their fingers brushed. He lowered into his seat and picked up his coffee. “So.”
Martina smiled, her cool green eyes seeming to appraise him. “You look great, Jack.”
“Thank you.” He put down his mug. “So do you.”
She huffed out a laugh. “It’s been a long, hard road, but I think I’m back in the driving sea
t again.”
He nodded. “Good.”
Her smile diminished, and her eyes turned somber. “I’m so grateful to you. Really grateful. I was so scared you would cancel. That you’d change your mind and not see me.”
“I keep my promises, you know that.”
“I know.” The skin at her neck shifted. “And I won’t ask you to make any promises today, tomorrow, or next week. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get to know you again, Jack. Whatever it takes.”
“Get to know me, Martina? What about the girls?”
She laughed and picked up her tea. “Well, of course the girls.” She met his eyes over the rim. “Surely that goes without saying?”
“It would still be nice to hear you say it. This meeting is about them, after all.”
“Of course.” She looked away to the window and studied the passersby.
Jack watched her profile, noted the way her cup ever so slightly shook in her hand. The glaze of makeup she’d applied and the sheen of the silk shirt she wore did nothing to disguise her nerves.
He cleared his throat. “So, what happens next? You have me here. What is it you want?”
“I want my family back.” She faced him. “I want you and the twins to look at me and know I’m not going to disappear again. To let me say sorry for the mistakes I made and move on. I want to be a part of your life again.”
“It’s going to take a long, long time before that happens. Did you really think I could forget what you did to them? That I’d forget you haven’t written or rang them in a year? You knew where we were. You knew, but you didn’t even send a damn birthday card, for crying out loud.”
Her cheeks flushed, and her gaze turned cold. “I knew where you were until a month ago, you mean.”
Jack shook his head and dropped back in his seat, disbelief pushing a wry laugh from his throat. “And what happened to the other eleven months? They don’t count, I suppose. It’s just the month I moved here, is that it?”
“I’m trying my best to make this work now, Jack.”
Leaning forward, he put his elbows on his knees. “And that is what concerns me. Why now?”
Their eyes locked for a moment before she looked to her lap. “Because when you disappeared, it frightened me. It made me realize you might not always be where I can reach you.” Her voice cracked. “I’ve made some terrible mistakes. I don’t blame you for hating me, but please, don’t punish the girls. Let them see me. Let them make the decision whether they want me in their lives.”
“They’re four. Not fourteen. How do you expect them to know what they do or don’t want? You’re their mother; they’ll love you no matter what you’ve done.”
“So let me see them.” A tear slid over her lower lid. “Please.”
Apprehension slashed behind Jack’s ribcage like a million knives.
“I can’t,” he said. “I just can’t. Not yet.”
She swiped her finger under her eyes. “And I understand that. I do. How about I come and see where you’re living at least? I’ll come when they’re at daycare.”
Jack’s mouth drained dry. Martina in his home. The twins’ home. The home next door to Sienna. Sienna and the shop. He drew in a long breath and exhaled. “There’s something you should know.”
She lifted her eyebrows. “What?”
“I’m seeing someone.”
Time stood still as she stared. The apparent unexpectedness of his confession drew the color from her face and lit a wariness in her eyes. “I see.”
“Do you? Because it’s still brand new to me.”
“And does this someone have a name?”
“Sienna. Sienna Lloyd. She’s a lovely woman, Martina.” Jack tried and failed to keep the warning from his voice.
“How long?”
“A couple of weeks. She’s my neighbor.”
“I see,” she repeated, looking to the window. “And this is a problem for us? For me coming to the house?”
“No. But if you do, I want you to understand Sienna is a part of my life now, which means she’s a part of the twins’. In fact, I want you to meet her.”
He could see her jaw clench, and he waited. Surely the idea of another woman judging her, accessing her, would put her off this idea of coming to his house? Back into his life?
Yet, she answered, “Okay.”
Jack gave a curt nod and leaned forward to pick up his coffee. “Good. Then I’ll set it up.”
The silence was heavy. He had nothing else to say to her, nothing to discuss until the next day. It was Sienna he wanted to speak to now. He drained his coffee cup. “Right, well, I’ll call you tomorrow, then.”
“You’re going?” She widened her eyes. “But I’ve only just got here.”
Jack pushed to his feet and whipped his jacket from the back of his chair. “I’ve got to be somewhere. I’ll see—”
“I’m guessing this somewhere involves the neighbor.”
There was a sneer to her tone, and Jack held her stare. “Tomorrow, Martina.”
He strode from the coffeehouse and out onto the street. Releasing his breath, he marched unseeing along the high street toward the parking lot. People passed in a blur as Jack’s thoughts battled with his inner demons. He’d already been scared to death by his pull toward Sienna; a relationship was the very last thing he’d needed or expected when he’d moved there. And from the way his meeting with Martina had just ended, there was no longer any question Sienna could complicate matters. Which could mean complicating life for his girls.
If he did turn away and didn’t pursue her, would he regret it? Would his backtracking be based on nothing more than how Martina could potentially cause more heartbreak to more people than she already had? For all either he or Sienna knew, it could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity wasted, right when something that had started so badly had been turning into something so damn good. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t also something happening sooner than he could properly deal with.
Sliding into the car seat, Jack pulled out his phone. He needed to speak to Sienna. Set things straight as best he could and tell her how he felt. He dialed her number. The line was busy.
Chapter Seventeen
SIENNA CUT THE LINE ON HER CELL again and put it beside her coffee cup on the balustrade surrounding her back yard. The morning was bright and warm; not even the slightest breeze ruffled the trees, the opposite of the storm raging through her heart and mind. How could everything look so stunning and peaceful in the world when she had no idea what she was doing?
Since Jack walked out of the shop the day before, the prospect of going to London no longer felt like the completely wrong thing to do. It actually felt like an open door waiting for her to escape through. Of all the things she’d thought would never happen to her, it was to be an obstacle in someone else’s relationship. Yet how could the Beatons work out what they wanted to happen next if she was a factor in that decision? A factor living next door, where they would see her every day.
Family mattered to Sienna more than anything. She was a grown woman yet would have still given anything to have her parents together again. How would Katy and Holly feel one day if they knew she’d been the reason their father had never given their mother a second chance? Sienna wiped away a tear that had fallen onto her cheek. She couldn’t do that to them.
She picked up the phone and dialed. Her friend and businessman extraordinaire, Ian Archer, picked up.
“Sienna Lloyd! How the devil are you?”
Despite her despair, Sienna smiled. “I’m fine. How are you?”
“Great. Really great. Busy as always and wondering when you were going to ring and ask me for a job.”
She pressed her eyes closed. “Well, today is your lucky day, then.”
“What?”
“I said—”
“Are you serious?”
There was no denying the smile in his voice, and Sienna’s stomach knotted. “Yes. Well, I’m at least considering it.”
&n
bsp; “You want to come to London? You’re finally realizing Potterford won’t collapse without you?”
“Very funny. You know why I didn’t take you up on your offer before…but the time feels right now. I’d at least appreciate you seeing me.”
“Of course I’ll see you! I’d love to see you. How’s your mum doing?”
“Better.” Sienna stared out across the yard. “A damn sight better than me, anyway.”
“Are you okay?”
She gulped. “It’s time for me to move on. I’ve had to move out of the shop. Maybe it’s a sign that I should be doing something different.”
“A sign that’s all good for me. When did you want to come?”
She glanced toward the fence separating her yard from Jack’s. “As soon as possible.”
The sound of papers being shuffled and keys being tapped on a computer filtered down the line. “I can fit you in first thing on Thursday. Is that too soon?”
Three days. “That’s perfect.”
“God, Sienna, I am so glad you called. I have got the most perfect vacancy for you. It’s as though you damn well knew.”
Sienna forced a smile she hoped would reflect in her voice. “I’m looking forward to hearing all about it. See you soon.”
She cut the line, her hand shaking and her heart racing. There was no going back now. She would hear what Ian had in mind for her, and if it was good enough, she’d leave Potterford. Things happened for a reason. If she and Jack were meant to be…she wouldn’t be a million miles away if he wanted her.
Picking up her coffee cup, she walked back into the house and put it in the sink just as her phone vibrated on the counter. Jack. She let the phone kick to voicemail and pressed to loudspeaker:
“Sienna, it’s me. I need to speak to you. The meeting with Martina went well. It looks as though she’s going to play nice. She looks…good. Different. I’m on my way into work, but I’ll try you again in a while.”
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