He silenced me with another kiss, and then his hands started to roam on my hips and ass. I was scorching hot from his touch and wanted more than anything to break the brotha down right then and there. But my thoughts of Dana stopped me.
“Please,” I whispered. “Stop forcing yourself on me like this, Jonathan. You know this ain’t right.”
“I can’t help myself,” he said.
When he moved in for another kiss, I turned my head. “Work it out at home first. After that, then we’ll talk about us.”
Jonathan turned on the lights and searched deep into my eyes. “I need you, Sylvia. Soon, Dana’s going to need you, too. I hope that whatever goes down between her and me, it doesn’t interfere with us.”
“I hope it doesn’t either, but I’ll do the best I can to be there for both of you.”
I opened the door and Jonathan walked out behind me. As we headed back to his office, Audrey walked past and slid something in his hand. He held it tightly, and when I asked what it was, he shrugged his shoulders.
“What do you mean by you don’t know?” I asked, standing in his doorway.
“I mean, it’s still in my hand and I haven’t looked at it.”
“Well, look at it.”
“I will, but what’s it to you?”
“Nothing, I guess, especially since you almost wound up at her house last night, instead of at mine. It’s a good thing she doesn’t mess around with married men, huh?”
“Is that what she told you?”
“Yes. She also told me you were begging for it.”
“Sylvia, do I look like the kind of man who would beg for sex?”
I smiled and shook my head. “No, but just be careful, okay? One thing can always lead to another.”
Jonathan packed up a few things in his office and told me he’d see me on Monday. Three whole days without seeing him, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. My feelings for him were now beyond my control. I knew it would be a matter of time before we had sex, but I was going to fight it with every ounce of strength I had.
By the end of the day, I really didn’t have much to do. I’d been to Jackie’s and Audrey’s desks about fifty times today, getting the scoop on Lewis, and listened to more lies about Jonathan. I wanted to tell Audrey to go to hell, but I continued to let her make a fool of herself.
Before leaving, I called Jeff from the mailroom to see if he would help me take my flowers to my car. And just when we were about to leave, the phone rang. I was going to let it go to voicemail, but something inside told me to answer. When I did, it was Britney. She was crying hysterically and was asking for Jonathan. When I told her he wasn’t there, I asked where she was. After she told me, I told her I was on my way.
Jeff piled my car with the flowers, and I headed to Forest Park where Britney said she would be. I drove around for a while looking for her, and when I saw her sitting on some steps near the Art Museum, I pulled over and got out of the car. Still crying, Britney ran up and held me tightly.
“What’s the matter, sweetie?” I asked, hugging her back.
“Da . . . Darron,” she sobbed. “Punched me in my face today.”
“He did what?” I yelled, then moved her back and looked at her face. I noticed swelling underneath her left eye. “Come on over here and sit down so you can tell me what happened.”
Britney and I sat on the steps, and in so many words, she told me this damn fool punched her in the face because she refused to have sex with him. Who in the hell was responsible for raising that idiot? I thought.
I placed the tip of my finger on Britney’s face that was swollen. “Does that hurt?”
“Yes, a little.”
“Britney, why were you skipping school? You have so many good things going for you and look at how beautiful you are. Jonathan pays a lot of money for you to go to a private school, and all you can think about is skipping school and hanging out with a knuckleheaded fool.”
She rolled her eyes and placed her hand on the side of her face. “I’m beginning to hate school, Sylvia. Darron and me always skip, but I never thought he would hit me over something so stupid.”
I balled my fist and put it on display. “That’s just the beginning. And if you ever skip school again, I’m going to hurt you myself.”
Britney laughed. When her cell phone vibrated, she looked at it. “This is him calling me now.”
I held out my hand. “Give it to me.”
“No, Sylvia.”
“I said, give me the phone!”
Britney gave the phone to me. “Hello,” I said, sharply.
“Britney?”
“No.”
“Let me speak to Britney.”
“I don’t think so. But let me warn you before you even think about putting your hands on her again. I will mess you up, Darron. If you don’t believe me, hit her again. If you put your hands on her again, the last time anyone will see you will be on the news.”
He hung up, and Britney reached over to hug me. She laughed again. “You are so crazy. Thank you, but you don’t have to worry about me seeing him again. Nobody ever put their hands on me before, not even my daddy.”
“Well, he should have. I’m not going to make excuses for you, Britney, but you need to get your act together. You don’t need that cell phone, you need to stop walking around with those low-cut jeans on that show your thong, and must you get your nails and hair done every week? I work hard and I can’t even afford to do that.”
“Every teenager I know got a cell phone, Sylvia, and the things I wear, everybody wears them. I guess you haven’t seen my tattoo yet, have you?” She turned around and showed me BABY-B tattooed right above the crack of her ass with a rose next to it.
I shook my head. “That is ridiculous. Y’all need to stop trying to compete with each other and just be yourself. If attention is what you’re looking for, because that’s all it is, you won’t get it if you’re looking like everyone else around you. Be different, original. Then you’ll see how much attention you get.”
“None,” she said, standing up and tucking her DKNY purse underneath her arm. She put her cell phone in her pocket and pulled her skimpy T-shirt down that showed her midriff. When I noticed her navel pierced, I stood up and looked at her.
“Let’s go. You need some serious guidance, and some ice for that eye before it swells even more.”
Britney and I got in the car and left. Before heading to my house, we stopped at Dairy Queen and got two strawberry shortcakes with extra whipped cream topping and nuts. As we came through the door, we laughed because she dropped hers on the ground.
“Damn,” she yelled, then covered her mouth.
I gave her a hard stare, and then tossed my keys on the table. “Watch it, girl. You ain’t that grown yet.”
“I’m sorry, but I really wanted that.” She plopped down on the couch.
I turned on the TV and called my neighbor, Steven, to ask if he wouldn’t mind helping me with my flowers. Shortly after, he came over to get the keys to my car. Britney and I sat on the couch eating my strawberry shortcake and watched him bring the flowers in.
“My daddy must really love you. I have never seen so many flowers.”
“Neither have I. And the only people your daddy loves are you, his parents, and Dana.”
“I can’t stand that bitch,” Britney said, covering her mouth again.
“Britney, that’s my last time warning you. Young girls ain’t supposed to curse like that. You are too much of a classy young lady to be using such foul language.”
Britney rolled her eyes, slid down on the couch, and continued to eat the strawberry shortcake. After Steven brought in all my flowers, I thanked him and stood at the door listening to him hint about us having sex.
“Must everything you do for me always have to end up with us having sex?” I whispered.
“Not always, baby, but you know you be putting something on a brotha’s mind.”
I looked over at Britney who was a
ll ears, listening to our conversation. “Maybe next time, okay?” I said, looking back at Steven.
“I’m cool with that. Just don’t have me waiting so long and I’m right next door.”
“I won’t, Steven, if maybe next time you figure out a way not to come in two minutes, darling. And even though you’re right next door, I’m a tiny bit more excited about the brothas who last a lot longer than you.”
“Well, next time, you get them to help you with your shit. Don’t be calling—”
His voice rose, so I slammed the door. “Tired, truly tired,” I said, walking back over to the couch and sitting next to Britney. She was cracking up. When I saw that she ate the shortcake, I snatched the empty container from her.
“Greedy, child. What in the heck happen to all of my shortcake?”
“You were running your mouth too long and I was hungry.”
“Well, go home and eat.”
“I don’t like being at home.”
“Okay. You don’t like being at school, you don’t like being at home, and you don’t like my friend Dana. Who or what do you like, Britney?”
“Dana is not your friend. And I don’t like anyone but you and my daddy. I wish y’all had somehow hooked up. That way, I could have lived with y’all.”
I was quiet because that was not only her wish, but my wish as well. Thinking about Jonathan, I went to the kitchen to get Britney an ice pack for her eye. While I was getting it, she came in and sat at the kitchen table.
“Sylvia?”
“What?”
“What’s up with this sex thing? I mean, I’m still a virgin but I have thought about it.”
“And that’s all you need to do is think about it,” I said, giving her the ice pack. She placed it underneath her eye. “Britney, sex is a beautiful thing. But beautiful things aren’t meant to be shared with any- and everyone. As a young lady, you need to have respect for yourself. I’m not telling you not to have sex because I have a feeling that you’re going to do what you want to do. I’m just saying that life is about making choices, some good and some bad, but the bad choices are the ones that hurts us every time. We both know that it is not a good choice for a girl your age to be having sex, so with that being said, just know and understand the consequences.”
Britney smiled and laid the ice pack on the table. “Do you love my daddy?”
My mouth dropped open. “Wha . . . Why did you ask me that?”
“I don’t know. I guess I kind of see something in you when he’s around you and when you talk about him.”
“Yes, Britney, I love your father,” I said, standing up. “But, I’m not in love with him, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“If you say so.” She stood up and walked off to the bathroom. When the phone rang I answered it.
“What kind of friend are you?” Dana shouted.
I was silent for a second and my heart raced. “Wha—”
“Didn’t I tell you I had something I wanted to talk to you about?”
I was relieved to hear that it wasn’t about me and Jonathan. “Girl, I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”
“Can you meet me at CJ’s in about an hour?”
“No, I can’t. I have company right now.”
“Well, tell that Negro you got something else to do.”
“I will do no such thing. If you can’t talk to me over the phone then it’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.”
“Some damn friend you are,” she said, and then hung up. Feeling bad about not meeting Dana, I called her back and told her I could meet her in a few hours. When she declined to wait, I hung up on her.
Britney wanted to stay the night, but I insisted that she call Beverly to tell her she was on her way home. When Britney refused to call, I made the call to tell Beverly. Britney pouted and fell back in the chair.
“Let’s go, Britney. I have to get up early for work tomorrow.”
“Why can’t I stay here? You can take me home in the morning.”
“Because I’m sure your mother is worried sick about you. Besides, why sleep on my uncomfortable couch when you have a lovely room at home waiting for you?”
She jumped up and folded her arms. “Whatever. Now, I have to go home and listen to my mother’s mouth about my face. If I tell her what happened, she’s going to be mad at me for skipping school.”
“Okay, this time and this time only will I lie for you. I will tell her that the school called because you hurt yourself in gym, and since Jonathan was out of the office, I came to pick you up. I will, however, tell Jonathan the truth and you’ll have to deal with him instead of her.”
“Fine,” she said with an attitude.
We headed to the car, and on the drive to Britney’s house, she wouldn’t stop questioning me about Jonathan. I didn’t think my feelings for him were that obvious.
“Okay, Sylvia, if you don’t want to be honest with me about your feelings for my dad, then tell me when you lost your virginity.”
“I am honest with you about my feelings and I lost my virginity when I was fifteen. After that, I turned into a promiscuous little something. I was screwing any- and everybody who wanted some.”
“Why? And then you have the nerve to tell me what you think I shouldn’t do.”
“I only told you what I thought was best. And that little promiscuous little something who was screwing around with any-and everybody was the reputation I got for giving it up to a loudmouth Negro who wasn’t worth my time. After my first time, it took me a long while before I had sex again because the rumors were damaging.”
Britney smiled, and when we got to her house, I went inside and lied my ass off to Beverly. I didn’t feel good about doing so, but Britney was at a stage in her life where she needed someone to trust. Not only that, but she needed someone to depend on. And if Jonathan or Beverly wasn’t there to make her feel at ease, I didn’t mind her relying on me.
6
JONATHAN
I was on a mission to find out what was going on with Dana. More so to find out who in the hell she was screwing. There was no way for me to continue on with our marriage and things weren’t right. I worked too hard to be unhappy and it was high time that my life started to make sense.
The other day when Lewis was in my office, something hit me. If it wasn’t the same cheap-ass cologne on him that I smelled on Dana, it was Sylvia’s hateful ways toward him that sparked my curiosity. I really wasn’t sure if I was on to something, but it was a start. I figured if I worked on Sylvia a little while longer, she would tell me everything I needed to know. I hated more than anything to put her in the middle, but there was no other way to find out the truth. I was desperate. And even though I had some feelings for Sylvia, finding out what Dana was up to was more important to me.
After I left the office, I went back home and watched for Dana to leave. When she did, I followed her. She drove to her parents’ house, stayed there for a while, and then she drove to West County Plaza. Spending very minimal time there, then she drove to the movie theater and watched a movie alone. By eight o’clock, she checked herself into the Holiday Inn, and just when I thought my man was about to show, she checked back out two hours later. She called me numerous times, but I refused to answer my phone. By 10:30 p.m., she was back at home, calling it a night. I decided not to go home yet and got myself a room for the night. I wanted to go see Sylvia, but I also wanted to wait until I had a little more evidence. That way she wouldn’t be able to deny me the truth about Dana.
Friday morning, I checked out of the hotel around seven. Trying to give Dana some ammunition, I went home and slammed the back door as I entered the house. My shirt was unbuttoned and it looked slouchy, hanging outside of my pants, as if I’d been out doing my thing. She rushed toward me, as I rushed to the bathroom to take a shower.
“Where in the fuck have you been?” she yelled, and then smacked my face.
I grabbed her hand to stop her from doing it again. “Stop! Get a hold of yourself and b
ack the hell away from me.”
Dana’s face was turning red she was so mad. “You have not called, nor have you been here for almost two days, Jonathan! For the last time, where in the fuck have you been?”
“None of your business. When you’re ready to tell me who in the hell you’ve been screwing, then I’ll tell you where I’ve been. Until then, don’t expect me to come home because I won’t.” I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
“What in the hell do you expect me to do?” she yelled and banged on the door. “I’m tired of being alone! You are never here for me, nor have you ever been here for me!”
I ignored Dana and took a shower. When I came out with no clothes on, I saw her sitting on the bed, wiping her tears.
“Do you want a divorce?” she asked.
“Only if you do.”
I went into the closet to find something to put on. Dana followed behind me and wrapped her arms around my chest. “A divorce is the last thing I want, but some things need to change around here.”
I removed her arms from around me and turned to look at her. “Some things like what, Dana? You have everything that you need. I treat you like a queen and that still isn’t good enough. Yes, I’m a workaholic, but you knew that before you married me. The only question I have for you is, are you seeing someone else?”
She moved her head from side to side, denying it. “No, I’m not seeing anyone else.”
“Now is the perfect opportunity to come clean with me. I will not give you another chance again.”
“Jonathan, for the last time, I’m not seeing anyone else. You’re accusing me because you’re the one seeing someone else. If you want to be with her, then just say so. Don’t put all your bull and insecurities off on me.”
I moved Dana aside and went into the bedroom. As I put on my clothes, she stood next to me and asked where I was headed. I told her to work, and then told her we’d continue our conversation tonight. After that, I left.
Having no intentions to go to work, I parked my car far down the street and waited for her to leave. When she did, I followed her again. This time, she stopped at the St. Louis Bread Company and had breakfast, and then she checked herself into the Holiday Inn again. Not knowing if her lover would show soon, I parked my car across the street and went inside the hotel. I asked for Dana’s room number, and when the front desk clerk gave it to me, I headed up to Dana’s room. Nervous, I stood by a vending machine in the hallway and watched.
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