His answer mattered a hell of a lot more to her now than it would have seven months ago. She’d already given up so much; was she giving it all up for a man who would get itchy feet two years down the road? Sooner?
He was quiet for a long time; she appreciated that he was thinking carefully before he answered her. “This is the longest I’ve ever been in any place, and I like that. You’re the first person I’ve ever been able to imagine having by my side, way into the future, and I like that too. I can’t promise I’ll never want to go walkabout ever again, but I’m pretty damn sure that if that were the case, I’d want you there with me, in whatever way you wanted to be there. Is that enough?”
She snuggled in just a little tighter. “That’s pretty damn perfect.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine Jack and Mindy were quiet for a while, and she found herself turning the conversation in her mind over and over; what had been discussed at the hospital. “So, you think it was Wester, who killed Grim.”
He nodded. “It makes sense, but it’s nothing more than a theory. The brothers following him, from what Lauren’s told me about them, they’re going to need proof, hard proof, before they’re willing to do anything. Honestly, if he doesn’t own it himself, I don’t know that anything will be enough. Not a single goddamn thing.”
There was something in the tone of his voice that made Mindy go very still.
“And what happens then?” she asked. He was quiet some more. “Jack? What happens if you can’t find enough to convince them to stop following Wester?”
He sighed, his free hand coming up to scrub at his face. “Then the war goes on, for a long time. For forever, I don’t know. Until everyone’s dead or both clubs are wiped out, or until one of us gives up and leaves town—goes to set up somewhere else. I don’t know. But I’m… Mindy, I won’t leave this town while there’s a single patched member of the Chain Gang fighting. They’re my family. I won’t leave them behind.”
Her stomach turned at his words, but she made herself nod into his shoulder. As much as she disliked what he was saying, the words made plenty of sense. More sense than she entirely liked. “I understand. Just be as careful as you can be, okay?”
Jack nodded. “I promise. I’m not looking to get killed. I want to be with you and see this baby grow up, and make a better life for my patched family and my new family. But I just gotta be honest. You understand?”
“That I do.”
He ran his hand over her stomach, grinning when he felt the sharp kick of the baby’s foot. They’d talked for a little while about finding out the baby’s sex but had decided that they didn’t want to know yet. Let something be a surprise.
“Did you ever think this would be your life?” she asked, knowing the answer already.
“Nope,” he replied. It was something of a script they’d developed over the past few weeks, and it felt so safe and good. “You?”
“Never.” She snuggled in a little closer, and his arms tightened around her. “But I’m glad you’re here.”
“I feel just the same.”
They snuggled for a bit longer, and her hip started to ache. Nothing surprising there; her hips always ached these days, stretching to accommodate the baby. When she slung her leg over Jack’s, she heard the low groan and felt him harden against her inner thigh.
“Oh my,” she said and pressed her leg down. He hissed in response, gripping her knee to give himself a little more pressure as he pressed up against her. “You seem very uncomfortable right now.”
He grumbled for a moment without actually saying anything. It had been hard to miss how he’d been taking a lot of solo showers, and more than once she’d come back from the bathroom to see him guiltily clicking away from something on his computer. She’d suggested that she could help him out in other ways than actual intercourse, but he’d kept waving his hands at her. “Don’t worry about it,” he kept saying. “I’m fine.”
But he wasn’t fine. He was so hard that he had to be hurting, and she’d seen how distracted and frustrated he’d been. Clearly, it wasn’t all from a lack of orgasms, but it couldn’t possibly be helping. She dragged her thigh over his erection again, more deliberately this time.
He let out another groan, but he shook his head.
“We can’t,” he said, his voice tight. Oh God, he was so hungry for it; for fucking her as hard as they both liked. It made her body tense and tease, and she had to remind herself of all the reasons she couldn’t do what she most wanted to. But hey, she’d been trying to explain to him for weeks now that there were more options than just intercourse. No time like the present to show him exactly what she meant.
“I can’t,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be miserable. Let me help you.”
He didn’t immediately protest, so she sat up, working his belt buckle and tugging his zipper down. She got him stripped, and his cock sprang free, thick and massive and so goddamn pretty. She absolutely loved staring at him, but this was going to be even better.
She started with her hand, stroking him slowly from root to tip. She loved the feel of him in her hand, rock hard and coated with velvet. He made happy little sounds as she stroked, slow and firm, then faster with a looser grip. He hissed at the movement of her hand, whenever she brushed the underside of his head or stroked over his slit. God, he was leaking within a few strokes; he was eager and interested, wasn’t he? He groaned as she tightened her grip and looked for the right, regular rhythm to make him heave under her hand.
He pushed his eyes open and looked directly at her. “Are you absolutely sure you’re okay with this?” There was something almost frantic in his gaze, as if he was using every ounce of his self-control to stay with her, stay engaged at that moment, in the possibility that she might lose interest or decide she needed to stop.
So, she smiled as she stroked him harder.
“I’m so sure,” she said, and then she leaned over, taking him into her mouth in one long, hard thrust. He cried out, his hands coming to her hair as his hips arched up to meet her mouth.
“Fuuck,” he whispered, drawing out the vowel until his voice nearly broke. His hands were loose in her hair, but it felt like he was deliberately keeping them soft, like what he wanted was to grip her tight and use her mouth until she broke. It was gorgeous and sexy, and at the same time, she wanted him to fuck her just like that. If he couldn’t put her up against the headboard and screw her until her cunt ached with it, then she wanted him to use her mouth just like that. Hard and fast and unforgiving.
She reached up and caught his hand, squeezing until he tightened his grip. He looked at her one more time, then groaned as he gave in to what they both wanted. He held her in place, and he thrust up into her mouth, hard enough to touch the back of her throat and make her swallow. Every time she thought it’d be too much, he pulled back just enough before he slammed into her again. She braced her hands on the bed, on either side of his hips, and gave him what he wanted, fucking her mouth like he couldn’t get enough. She felt him tightening as his release neared, and in the moments before he came he pulled back, yanking her closer as he jacked hard with his hand. When he spurted, he splashed all over her throat and the tops of her breasts, groaning at the sight of it. She loved the look in his eyes, the wanton abandon, the eagerness. The way his soft, white cum looked splashed all over her tanned skin.
He sagged back onto the bed, a thin sheen of sweat visible over his entire body, and groaned. She reached for a T-shirt that had been flung off the bed at some point and cleaned up her chest, smiling to herself that he’d stained the top edge of her tank top. She would carry that reminder for a while, and that felt good.
He tugged her back into his arms and kissed her forehead. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said, his voice weary.
“I know,” she said. “But I wanted to.”
“That’s good.” He was fading fast, his arms going loose around her. “That’s nice.”
“I love you, Jack.” She wasn’t entirely
sure where the words came from, but she was glad they came out.
His eyes flashed open, but for just a moment. He snuggled her tighter into him as they drifted closed again. His hand traced the swell of her belly as he smiled. “I love you back.”
Chapter Thirty Time passed. The Wardens kept their distance from the clubhouse, but everywhere else they caught the Chain Gang, they were relentless. More and more of the patched were coming back to the clubhouse with knife and gunshot wounds. Minor, so far, nothing that the club medics couldn’t handle, but it was only a matter of time until someone died. And then there would be a full-on war. There’d be cops involved because everything would get turned upside down, and be completely brutal and terrifying. And Mindy was terrified that she, Jack, and her child would be caught in the crossfire.
So, when Bodhi suggested openly inviting Lauren to the clubhouse, the next time Joanna came to check in on Mindy, Jack didn’t seem to chew it over for long before he nodded his agreement. Worry curled through Mindy’s belly; he’d been so deeply opposed to the rank and file Gang knowing about the tentative peace that he and Lauren had forged; he had to feel desperate to agree to the idea. But she was just his bride, she thought; it wasn’t her place to comment or critique. At least, not about this. She didn’t know much of anything about the club, after all; she’d just barely started getting to know people when she ended up confined to her bed for absolute months.
“Yeah,” Jack said, and glanced at Mindy as he spoke. “Yeah, I think it’s time. Maybe past time. This has to get out into the open.”
Bodhi looked like he’d just bitten into something that tasted like horse manure, but he nodded. “I’ll spread the word and make the arrangements. Make sure she doesn’t bring anyone she doesn’t implicitly trust.”
Jack started to snap, then visibly bit his tongue and dialed back his temper. “I know, Bodhi. I promise we’re going to do this square.”
Bodhi’s jaw tightened, but he nodded. “Alright, boss,” he said. He stepped away from the room that Jack had converted into something of an office, nodding at Mindy as he went. She was allowed to sit up now, for half an hour at a time, as long as she didn’t have any pain, and her blood pressure didn’t start to climb. She’d made it eight months, after all; Joanna kept saying that this was great. At this point, if the baby came early, it wouldn’t be great, but the odds of survival were really good. And even thinking that made Mindy’s hands shake, so she pushed the thought away as often as she could. Of course, the baby would survive. Of course, it would.
She’d stopped calling it Bean after the past few weeks. It was so big now, actively kicking and twisting in her middle; it was so clearly not the size of a bean that it was just ludicrous to keep using the nickname. But without knowing the baby’s gender, or having had even a real conversation with Jack about a name, she didn’t know what to call it now, other than just ‘the baby.’ Which felt weirdly impersonal for someone with whom she was quite literally sharing a body.
“Is there anything I can do?” Mindy asked.
Jack shook his head. “Well, that’s not true,” he said. “Pray for us. Sound like a plan?”
She forced herself to swallow hard and share a shaky smile. “Will do, boss.”
Jack laughed, reaching over and pushing her down on the bed with incredible gentleness. “Don’t you start.” He stretched out next to her, burying his face in her breasts and making her sigh.
“So how does this work? Do you have to, like, go to the Wardens’ clubhouse and give her an escort here? Does she just turn up at an appointed time?”
He put one hand behind his head. “In a minute, when my heart stops racing, I’ll go call her. We’ll set up a time. She’ll ride here with her lieutenants and whoever else she trusts. To be formal, I’ll tell her how many people she can bring with her, and we’ll meet her at the edge of our territory, then ride the rest of the way in with her. And we’ll all sit down and see what we can hash out.”
Mindy sat up again, curling her legs under herself, mostly wanting to avoid the urge to start kissing Jack’s throat and ride him until they were both screaming. “And how is that different from what you guys have been doing the past month?”
He nodded, seeming pleased with her questions. “We’ve been talking privately; meeting under the radar. Here, no one knows but you and Bodhi. I’m not sure who she trusts enough to have shared information, but this will be an open meeting under a truce flag. If we’re right, and Wester is the one causing trouble and bringing all this fire down on our heads, then he’ll do one of two things. He’ll be forced to follow the truce, whether he likes it or not, and he’ll stop causing so much shit.”
Jack was silent for a while, which prompted Mindy to ask, “And what’s the other option?”
He shook his head. “The other option is that he and his followers will crash the meeting, try and kill us all and take over the entire territory.”
While Mindy wasn’t exactly surprised, the stark coldness with which Jack said this surprised and horrified her. It was like he didn’t really care what happened or what came next for him. She was fairly sure that wasn’t the case, he didn’t seem to have a death wish, but at the same time… how well did she really know him?
“This isn’t what I want,” he clarified. “I wish Lauren had been able to sort this out on her end. But she’s just not—this isn’t who she is cut out to be, and it’s not even who she wants to be. How could I possibly ask her to fight a war that she doesn’t want any part of?”
“You’re a good man, Jack Dawson,” Mindy heard herself say. “But I wish to God you weren’t right now.”
He reeled her in, pulling her down to kiss him.
“I know,” he said. “I kind of wish it, too.” He kissed her once more, then stood to go make the call that had, Mindy figured, a better than average chance of leaving her child fatherless.
Chapter Thirty-One Lauren agreed to come to the clubhouse three days after the call. It was the same time Joanna was supposed to come and check Mindy’s vitals and check for any further bleeding or leakage of amniotic fluid. Joanna came separately, arriving at the clubhouse about an hour before Lauren was scheduled to be there with her Wardens. Jack left the bedroom office to go and prepare for the meeting, and to give Mindy some privacy for the exam.
“How are you holding up under all this stress?” Joanna asked.
Mindy made herself shrug; she’d spent most of her life putting up a good front, why would now be any different? “I’ll be glad when it’s all over.”
“I ask because your blood pressure is elevated, and your heart rate is ridiculous, even though you’re lying down.” Joanna sighed. “I’d be so much happier if you’d just let me take you to the hospital. Even just mine, whatever it takes. I’m not comfortable with you being here while all this happens. The stress could do some horrible things to you and the baby. And then Jack wouldn’t have to worry about you.”
“Except he would worry,” Mindy replied. “He would worry that Wester and his cohort would come to the hospital and find me. And that no one would be there to protect me. And to calm himself down from that, he’d send some of the patched with me to play guard dog. And then there’d be fewer people here to protect the club if Wester attacks. So, no. I’m staying here. Maybe it’s not the safest thing for me, but it’s the safest thing for them, and I care about them.”
Joanna shook her head, but she didn’t look displeased or disgusted. She looked like she understood, at least a little bit.
“I don’t like this bike stuff,” she said, after a little while. “I don’t know what Lauren sees in it. I don’t think she even knows, most of the time, but I’m glad it makes you happy. I’m glad you’ve found a family here. Family matters more than anything, I think. And you need to make a family, wherever you are, if you want to stay sane while you raise this little one.”
“Thanks for watching out for me.”
“Thanks for letting me.”
Mindy had gotten to be
good friends with the other woman after their weekly check-ins. It was refreshing. Calming even. Jack was fantastic, but he knew even less about babies than she did; having an expert on speed dial was worth more than maybe Joanna thought.
Joanna was still there when the Gang rode out to meet Lauren at the edge of their territory; she was still there when the rumble of bikes in the distance told Mindy that they were returning. Joanna had gotten increasingly more nervous as time passed; by the time the bikes pulled up and rumbled to a stop, she was twisting her hands into knots.
“You could go, you know. If this is too much for you. I’ll be okay.” Mindy smiled at the other woman, trying to put a pleasant expression on her face.
“I can’t leave any more than you can,” Joanna said, and Mindy nodded. How could she argue with that? She swung her legs over the side of the bed and took a moment to let her head stabilize before she tried to stand.
“Whoa, whoa, where do you think you’re going,” Joanna snapped, with her doctor voice—or, technically, nurse practitioner voice, but who was counting—on full display. “You lay that butt back down, lady.”
BIKER’S GIFT Page 62