by Radclyffe
“Stop that.”
“You can’t expect me not to—”
Jenna silenced her with a kiss, sliding her tongue inside, taking her in a deep, deep kiss that had Gard arching off the bed. While she played in Gard’s mouth, she rocked in the cradle of Gard’s pelvis, teasing herself as her tender clitoris rubbed back and forth on the cotton fabric of Gard’s half-open pants. Gard clasped her hips, increasing the pressure between them, and she moaned, rubbing her breasts over Gard’s. She wanted to come. She really, really wanted to come. If she could just come, she could get control again. Make things last, make Gard wait. Make it good for her—
“Oh.” Jenna trembled, the orgasm coiling between her thighs. Almost there now, and so so good. No, no, not yet. With a sharp cry, she pushed upward, easing the exquisite tension in her pelvis.
“What are you doing?” Gard’s grip on Jenna’s hips tightened. “You want to come.” She tried to pull Jenna up the bed. “Let me make you come in my mouth.”
Jenna planted her hand between Gard’s breasts, preventing her from dragging her up. She’d come in a second if Gard took her that way. “Get your pants off.”
“Damn it, Jenna.”
Jenna leaned away from Gard and caressed her own breasts with both hands, catching her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers, tugging them. The shock made her clitoris jump. “Do it or I’ll make myself come.”
Gard cursed and half sat up, pushing at the waistband of her pants. The rippling muscles in her chest and abdomen bore stark witness to her need and Jenna had to fight not to just give in and fall on her. She skimmed her fingers down the center of her abdomen and pressed the base of her clitoris with two fingers. Her hips lifted and she caught her lower lip between her teeth. Oh God, she was close.
“Go ahead,” Gard said, her attention focused on Jenna’s fingers. “Make yourself come.”
“I might.” Jenna gasped as pleasure filled her throat. She fondled herself until she knew she had to stop or surrender. “In a little while.”
Gard reached for her but she pushed away, sliding down the bed until she was lying between Gard’s spread thighs. She kissed the base of Gard’s belly and rubbed her cheek over the soft skein of hair at the apex of her thighs. “But I’ve got something else in mind first.”
Gard drove her fingers into Jenna’s hair, trapping her head between her hands. “Go slow.”
“I’ll go any way I want to.” Still, she did take her slowly, wanting to savor each heartbeat against her lips, each thrust and shivered breath as she kissed and licked and sucked. She knew how to keep Gard on the edge and she did, slowing her strokes, softening the suction when Gard tried to press harder into her mouth. She toyed with her, teasing and rubbing and dipping inside with her fingertips.
“I need to come.” Gard sounded so matter-of-fact, her voice so flat and hollow, Jenna knew she was right on the brink.
Jenna pulled back and covered her with swift, light kisses.
Gard’s legs shook. “I need to come.”
Jenna trapped Gard’s clitoris between her fingers and watched it pulse, licking with a rhythm too uneven to bring her over.
“I need to come.” Gard groaned, seeming to turn to stone, every muscle so tight Jenna feared she might splinter. She wasn’t sure Gard was breathing anymore, and she had to give her what she needed now. She sucked her gently and swirled her tongue and Gard’s breath shot out and she came in a series of hard thrusts.
Jenna smiled around Gard’s throbbing flesh. Her lips would be bruised—the idea pleased her very much.
“Now.” Gard reared up before she was even done coming, catching Jenna by surprise.
“What—” Jenna gasped.
“Damn it, Jen, come here.” Gard pulled Jenna upward, unable to wait any longer to sink into her. She kissed her, the last of her orgasm roiling in her belly. Racing a hand over Jenna’s breasts, down her body, and between her legs, she cupped her and squeezed. Jenna cried out and Gard slid her fingers inside her, her thumb working Jenna’s clitoris back and forth.
Jenna jerked, her eyes wide and stunned. “Oh my God.”
“You coming, baby?”
Nodding helplessly, Jenna fell into Gard’s arms, flooding Gard’s hand with hot release. Holding her breath, Gard rolled onto her side, keeping Jenna securely in her arms. She kissed her, needing to be inside her everywhere. Needing, in that infinite moment, nothing more.
Chapter Twenty-four
Jenna kissed Gard’s throat. Salty sweet, fragrant as fresh-cut hay. The sun streamed through the window onto her bare back. With her cheek pillowed against Gard’s shoulder, she might have been lying on a grassy slope on a lazy summer afternoon with nothing on her mind except the clouds flickering by overhead. She burrowed a little closer, absorbing all that was Gard. The bold, steady beat of her heart. Slow breaths flowing in and out, as soothing as the wind in the trees. The oh-so-seductive rasp of Gard’s slightly rough fingertips up and down her spine. The wondrous panorama of Gard’s body—tanned shoulders, pale breasts and belly. Hard muscle. Soft skin. Sweet, sweet taste.
She hadn’t realized she was rocking her hips until Gard gave a satisfied rumble and cupped her ass, drawing her center hard against Gard’s thigh. She caught her breath at the sudden swell of desire.
Gard murmured, “Whatever you’re thinking, I like it.”
“You do wonderful things to me.”
Gard’s chuckle was a deep powerful vibration beneath Jenna’s ear. A breeze brushed the hair at her temple. Gard’s mouth skimmed over her ear.
“I want to do all kinds of things to you,” Gard said.
Jenna teased herself, rolling her pelvis in slow circles on Gard’s leg. She was wet, and certain Gard could tell. Her clitoris tingled and very soon she would want to come. “Don’t you think you should give me time to catch my breath?”
“You sound plenty rested to me. Feel that way too.”
Laughing, Jenna pulled Gard’s nipple into her mouth. Instantly, Gard arched, a soft moan quivering in her throat. Jenna wanted to purr with satisfaction. Turning Gard on was more exciting than her own excitement. “And I can’t get enough of you.”
Gard rolled onto her back and pulled Jenna over her, scissoring their legs together. “I can’t get enough of what you do to me. Just waking up next to you makes me want to come.”
“Oh God.” Jenna tented her lip between her teeth. Gard’s eyes were so dark, her need so undisguised, Jenna’s heart ached. How could anyone be so trusting, how could anyone be so damn brave? She wanted so much to cherish that trust, to take away the last lingering shadows of pain in her eyes, she could barely swallow around the lump in her throat. And then Gard kissed her, so tenderly, so gently, that every single bit of control she’d ever had crumbled. She wasn’t sure she could hold off her own climax long enough to bring Gard to orgasm, but she was damn well going to try. She pushed up on both arms and settled her hips between Gard’s legs.
“Jen,” Gard groaned.
“Want to come, do you? Let’s see what we can do about that.” Jenna kissed her and thrust with the rhythm she knew Gard liked. Gard moaned and she bore down harder, ignoring the ache between her thighs. Her breath was short, her words a whisper. “You like that?”
“Just…like that.”
Gard was so hard and so wet, her eyes so hot—black swirling wildly through the gray, a volcano boiling over. Jenna wanted her so much. So much, too much…too much to hold. “Oh God, I’m sorry,” Jenna gasped. “I’m going to come.”
“Please,” Gard whispered, her leg tensing between Jenna’s, giving her just the extra pressure she needed. “I want to feel you.”
Jenna exploded. The orgasm shook her so hard she fell into Gard’s arms, moaning open-mouthed against Gard’s shoulder. Tears leaked from her eyes.
“You’re beautiful, Jenna.” Gard brushed the moisture away and kissed her.
“Damn, damn, I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Jenna said weakly.
“I love when you come for me. Makes me so hot I just want you all over again.”
“I want you to have me.” Jenna closed her eyes, her strength draining away with the last tremors. She couldn’t move, which was fine, since she never intended to move. The night had been perfect, the morning exquisite. She’d never been so connected to another human being. Gard touched her, inside and out. Being known, being united so intimately, was terrifying and exhilarating and wonderful. Gard was the most incredible woman she’d ever met.
And oh, what was she thinking? What was she saying?
Jenna pushed herself up on her arms and looked down the length of their bodies tangled together on the bed. They fit perfectly, breast to breast, belly to belly, center to center. Oh God. She was in love with her, wasn’t she? That couldn’t be. She couldn’t let that be. What would she do? She’d never made space for that in her life. She’d never planned on needing anyone, counting on anyone. Wanting anyone this much. Her chest tightened and she couldn’t catch her breath.
“Hey. Hey.” Gard caressed Jenna’s cheek with the backs of her fingers. “Baby, what is it? Did something hurt you?”
“No,” Jenna said. “I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
“You sure? For a second there, you looked scared.”
Jenna forced a smile. “How could I be? I’m here with you and you make me feel wonderful.”
Gard wasn’t convinced, but she wouldn’t press Jenna to talk about something she wasn’t ready to share. She rubbed her cheek over Jenna’s breasts and kissed each one, letting her lips skate over Jenna’s erect nipples. She wanted to make her come again, wanted to feel her lose control, wanted to feel her open the gates and let her in. “I want you again.”
“No way.” Jenna feebly slapped Gard’s shoulder. “I might not even be able to walk after this.”
“Did I hurt you?” Gard sat up quickly, shifting around so Jenna was lying in her arms. “Did I?”
“No, no.” Jenna kissed her, stroked her hair, kissed her again. “God, no. You just make me come so hard I’m totally exhausted.”
“That good, huh?”
Jenna rolled her eyes. “Oh my God. I’ve forgotten who I was talking to. Yes, it was quite satisfactory, thank you.”
Laughing, Gard settled back, wrapped Jenna in her arms, and pulled the sheet up over them. “Get some sleep. You’ll feel better when you wake up.”
“What about you?” Jenna skimmed her hand down Gard’s stomach and between her legs. She was hot, her clitoris swollen and throbbing. “I’m not going to go to sleep with you like this.”
“I’m okay. When you come, I feel satisfied. Better than that. You’re…there’s never been anyone like you.”
Jenna pressed her fingers to Gard’s mouth. “Shut up. Shut up, shut up. Don’t say things like that.”
“Even if they’re true?”
Jenna wished she knew some way to make the truth less painful. “Especially if they’re true. I’m sor—”
Gard kissed her. “Go to sleep, Jenna. We’ll figure it all out.”
*
Gard didn’t sleep. Holding Jenna was all she needed, except for wanting desperately to imprint every memory so she’d never forget a single sensation. She’d slept with women before, but never like this. Never as if her very life depended on being with Jenna, holding her, protecting her, being hers. Most of all, being hers.
We’ll figure it out.
The words kept playing through Gard’s head. What was there to figure out, really? Before long, Jenna would go back to New York, and their affair would be over. Maybe that’s why she’d let herself feel so much with Jenna—she’d known any connection would end before her past surfaced and destroyed what was between them. Because sooner or later, the past would catch up to her.
There’s never been anyone like you.
She’d thought she’d been in love, been loved, only to have it all come apart when she’d made a devil’s bargain. She’d walked away from her life, but Jenna couldn’t—Cassandra Hart couldn’t. Cassandra was a public figure. Cassandra wasn’t invisible, couldn’t be a ghost, as Gard had become. She might have constructed a life where nothing mattered before her arrival in Little Falls, but Jenna had created a very different life. If Jenna didn’t just turn around and walk out on her when she learned the truth, she’d ultimately be hurt by a relationship with her. Gard couldn’t let that happen.
I want you to have me, Jenna had said. But would she, if she knew the truth? Would she ever trust her?
Gard held Jenna closer, stroking her hair, the curve of her shoulder, the hollow above her hips. So beautiful. So incredibly warm and giving. Jenna was far braver than her. She’d shared the story of her life. How calmly she had spoken of what she’d been through, as if it were an everyday occurrence for a teenager to strike out on her own and find a way not only to survive, but to be incredibly successful. Jenna was special. Far, far too special for her. She couldn’t contaminate Jenna’s life, and thankfully, she wouldn’t have the opportunity.
Closing her eyes, she kissed Jenna’s forehead, her temple, her mouth. She wanted her again so much, she forced herself to be nothing but gentle.
Jenna stirred and caressed Gard’s breast. “You’re all tense. Something’s bothering you. What is it?”
Gard shook her head. “Nothing, go back to sleep.”
“I can’t. If I sleep, I’ll miss something, and I don’t want to miss a second of being with you.”
“I don’t suppose anyone’s ever mentioned how stubborn you are.”
“Never once.” Jenna lightly bit Gard’s shoulder then soothed the spot with a kiss. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”
Gard brushed stray strands of sun-kissed hair from Jenna’s cheek. “I’m gonna have to go to work soon.”
Jenna groaned. “What time is it?”
“About noon.”
“I need to get back too,” Jenna said, although she wasn’t ready to get up. Something was bothering Gard and she wanted to know what. She didn’t believe Gard regretted their lovemaking. Gard wouldn’t have given herself so completely, so openly, if there hadn’t been something special between them. If Gard hadn’t felt something for her. She blamed herself for insisting they leave the past in the past. At the time, she’d thought she’d been protecting herself and sparing Gard the pain and embarrassment of reliving something she obviously did not want to talk about. Now she wondered if she hadn’t been a coward, and Gard was suffering for her decision. She sat up and draped the sheet around her waist. “There’s nothing you can tell me that will change anything between us.”
Gard’s face instantly shuttered closed. Her withdrawal hurt more than Jenna had believed possible. What was she doing? Jenna pleated the sheet between her fingers, searching for words. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you. I’m not even sure why I’m trying to get you to talk about it.”
Abruptly, Gard rose and searched around on the floor for her pants. She pulled her jeans on and zipped them partway, not bothering to close the top button. She stalked to the other side of the room and braced an arm on either side of the window. From where Jenna sat, all she could see was the sunlight splintering around Gard’s head and dusting her shoulders, leaving the stark planes of her back in shadow. She was so beautiful.
Jenna threw the sheet aside and went after her. She wrapped her arms around Gard’s middle and rested her cheek between her shoulder blades. “Gard?”
When Gard didn’t answer, Jenna caressed the tight muscles in Gard’s stomach and kissed her back. “I don’t care, Gard. What matters to me is this moment with you. The moments that we’ve shared. I’m sorry I asked for more.”
Gard covered Jenna’s hand and held it hard against her stomach. “You didn’t ask for anything unreasonable. I just…I’m not used to talking about things.”
“And you don’t have to.” Jenna held her more tightly. This was better, to leave the secrets where they belonged. They h
ad the now, they had this.
“Are you still going to come to the barn dance tomorrow night?” Gard asked.
“Of course I’m going to come.” Jenna gave Gard a little shake. “First of all, we have a date, and I don’t take kindly to being stood up.”
Gard chuckled and Jenna’s heart eased.
“Furthermore,” Jenna said, “you promised me a dance.”
“I’ll dance with you.” Gard turned and cupped Jenna’s face in her hands. “I’ll do anything you want.”
Jenna brushed her fingers through Gard’s hair and caressed her until the shadows left her her eyes. “What I want is this.” She kissed her. “And I’d like very much to see you smile.”
“Jenna,” Gard murmured, kissing her back. When she drew away, she smiled.
Jenna nodded, satisfied. Enough. Enough for now.
Chapter Twenty-five
“You want to explain to me again exactly why you’re going to spend the night in a non-air-conditioned barn filled with scratchy hay and smelling like horse poop?” Alice stood with hands on hips in the middle of Jenna’s bedroom.
“I already told you—twice.” Jenna turned slowly in front of the full-length, wood-framed mirror hanging on the inside of the cedar closet door, trying to get a view of her ass in the new jeans she’d picked up that morning. “It’s a community thing. People get together and help put up a barn, and then they party. The barn’s brand new, so it’s not likely to be filled with hay or poop.”
“Just sweating people. And your ass looks fine.” Alice plopped onto the end of the bed and leaned back on her elbows. “Remember, Diane is coming tonight.”
“Bring her to the dance. You don’t have a date.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.” Alice snorted. “First of all, she’s completely not my type. Second of all, she owns an art gallery in Soho and a condo off Central Park. A barn dance?”
Jenna pulled a sleeveless white shirt from the closet and turned to Alice. “You can’t really be this much of a snob. You are kidding, right?”