by Radclyffe
“Because I know there is. Because I know you wouldn’t have sacrificed your family, not to save yourself. That’s not who you are Gard, I know it. I’ve seen you work—the way you care. I’ve felt the way you love me. You’re not selfish, and you’re no coward. If you made a deal, it wasn’t to make things easier on yourself.”
“The reasons don’t matter.” Gard caught Jenna’s hands and kissed her fingers, then rested her cheek against Jenna’s palm. “The result is still the same. My family was ruined, my father imprisoned, my brother too. I lost them all.”
“What about Susannah? What about your lover?”
“Oh, she was the first to leave me.” Gard laughed bitterly. “She couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I’d ruined my family’s social standing, as well as my own, and she didn’t want to be tarred with the same brush. She never even asked me why I’d done it. She just told me she never wanted to see me again.”
“I want to know why. Tell me why. What did you get in return for your testimony?”
“They promised they’d reduce the charges against my father and brother and not go after anyone else in the family if I helped them secure the case. If I didn’t help, my father would have been looking at the rest of his life in prison.”
“Does your family know what you did to help them? Does Susannah?”
“No.”
“So you sacrificed everything you had—your reputation, your lover, your family—to make things easier for your father and brother, is that what you’re telling me?”
“That’s a nice way of putting it.”
Jenna shook Gard’s shoulders. “That’s the only way to put it. Because that’s what you’re telling me happened.”
“They hate me, Jen.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Jenna murmured. “I love you.”
Gard’s shoulders shook, her tears rending Jenna’s soul. Jenna pressed Gard’s face to her neck and Gard clutched her as if she were the only solid thing in a shifting landscape. “You’re not guilty. You didn’t betray them. You sacrificed everything for them.”
“Please don’t leave me,” Gard whispered.
“Oh, baby, I won’t. Don’t cry, sweetheart. Don’t cry.” Jenna kissed Gard’s temple, her tears mingling with Gard’s. “I love you. I love you so much.”
Chapter Twenty-eight
Jenna guided Gard upstairs to the bedroom, undressed her, and quickly shed her own clothes. She climbed into bed and held out her arms. “Come here.”
Gard curled around her, one leg over Jenna’s thighs, her head on Jenna’s shoulder, and sighed wearily. An instant later, she was asleep.
As tired as she was, Jenna couldn’t sleep. She kept hearing Gard’s despair. Gard, strong kind gentle Gard, had sounded so empty and lost and broken. Jenna pulled her closer, cradling Gard’s head against her breast. How could anyone who loved her believe she would betray them? If she could get her hands on any of those people—Gard’s parents, her lover…not that she deserved to be called that…the federal agents—she’d cheerfully strangle them all.
She must have slept because the next thing she knew gray ribbons rippled through the inky black outside the window, announcing the day. She kissed Gard’s forehead and Gard murmured something incoherent and nuzzled her neck. Smiling, she combed her fingers through Gard’s hair. Lying with Gard in her arms as dawn broke and the morning erupted with the chatter of birds and the distant crow of a cock, she felt so alive. Despite the long night and the broken sleep and the tears she’d shed, she was happy. Gard was so strong and so tender. And so in need of being cared for. Holding her, loving her, made Jenna feel stronger than she’d ever felt in her life.
Jenna’s heart hammered and she stirred inside. Turning onto her side, she pressed against Gard and kissed her on the mouth.
Gard’s eyes opened and flickered from puzzlement to desire in a heartbeat. “Mmm. Hi.”
“I’m sorry I woke you,” Jenna murmured. “You just felt so good in my arms. I got excited. I’m sorry.”
Gard cupped Jenna’s breast and stroked her nipple into hardness. “And you’re apologizing, why?”
“You were sleeping so deeply.”
“You think I’d rather be sleeping than doing this?” Gard kissed her, long, slow, deep strokes of her tongue, while she gently squeezed Jenna’s breast. Jenna whimpered and slid her leg over the curve of Gard’s hip, pressing her center against Gard’s thigh. She was wet, open, and Gard’s flesh was so hot. She moaned.
“I love you,” Gard whispered.
The words shot to Jenna’s core and she dug her fingers into the thick muscles along Gard’s spine, her hips rolling up and down Gard’s leg. So damn good. “I love you too. I’m going to come.”
“You do that.” Gard skimmed the tip of her tongue over Jenna’s lower lip, nibbled on her. “You come on me, baby.”
Jenna arched, the glorious pressure building until she overflowed. Just as her orgasm peaked, Gard sucked her nipple and she came again, harder. She cried out, reaching blindly for Gard.
“Here, baby. Right here.” Gard pushed Jenna onto her back and covered her, bearing down hard between her legs. Jenna opened for her and wrapped both legs around the back of Gard’s thighs, lifting to her.
“Now you,” Jenna demanded.
Gard groaned and rocked between Jenna’s legs. Jenna clutched Gard’s ass, rising to meet her downward thrusts, giving her the pressure she needed.
“Oh God, Jenna,” Gard gasped. “You feel so good.”
“I love you. I love you.” Jenna kissed Gard’s throat and bit low on her neck. As she left her mark, Gard’s hips jerked and she came in hard, frantic thrusts. Then, spent, she shuddered in Jenna’s arms.
“That’s right,” Jenna crooned. “I’ve got you.”
*
Gard awakened with sunlight on her eyelids and squeezed them closed, wanting a few more seconds with Jenna. Her cheek was pillowed on Jenna’s breast and Jenna’s hand cradled her neck. Jenna breathed rhythmically, deeply asleep. Gard smiled to herself, thinking that she had put Jenna to sleep. She’d loved her. Satisfied her. Carefully, she kissed Jenna’s breast.
“Don’t start,” Jenna murmured.
Gard laughed. “Why not?”
“You already wore me out.”
“I hope not. What will we do for the next fifty years, then?”
Jenna went completely still and Gard’s heart plummeted.
“I’m sorry,” Gard said quickly. “I’m getting a little ahead of things, aren’t I?” She started to move away and Jenna’s hand clamped onto the back of her neck, keeping her from escaping.
“No,” Jenna said, “you’re not getting ahead of anything. Except I don’t remember hearing a proposal of any kind from you.”
“Proposal, as in—uh—offering a plan?”
“Not exactly.”
“A proposition?”
Jenna laughed. “Not exactly.”
Gard propped herself up on her elbow so she could read Jenna’s face. Jenna’s eyes were trusting, completely undefended. Jesus, she was brave. Gard traced the curve of Jenna’s brow, the arch of her cheek, the gentle line of her jaw. She kissed her mouth, tenderly.
“I love you,” Gard said. “I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. Is that what you mean?”
“Yes, exactly that,” Jenna said. “And the answer is yes.”
“What about New York?”
Jenna smiled. “Is it going somewhere?”
“Are you?”
Jenna brushed her fingers through Gard’s hair. “Now and then, I suppose I will. You know I travel a lot. I need to do that for my work. But I’m never leaving you.”
Gard nodded, waiting.
“I’ll keep my place in Manhattan. It’s convenient and a lot of events take place there.”
“People know me there, Jenna. We were big news. Maybe not me personally, but my family—”
“I don’t care about that,”
Jenna said.
“I care. I’m willing to bet Alice cares.” Gard saw instantly she was right, even though Jenna tried to hide it. “She told you to stay away from me, didn’t she?”
“Alice worries too much.”
Gard started to sit up and Jenna grabbed her and yanked her down until they were lying face-to-face again.
“Don’t you dare pull away from me now,” Jenna said, but there was no heat in her voice. Only tenderness. “Alice was concerned at first, you’re right. But she cares about me and she knows I love you. She’ll be on our side.”
“I want her to worry about you.” Gard caressed her cheek. “Don’t tell me my past, my reputation, isn’t going to hurt your career.”
“My personal life is my own business. And I am nothing except proud of you.” Jenna’s eyes flashed. “My career is very important to me, but you’re much more than that. You’re everything to me. If there’s trouble—any kind of trouble—tomorrow, next year, fifty years from now—we’ll handle it together.”
“Oh Jesus, I love you,” Gard whispered. “The only thing I need is for you to love me. No one, nothing means more.”
“And all I need is for you to trust me. Trust me to always believe in you. Because I do.”
“You don’t have to tell anyone about me,” Gard said.
Jenna frowned and storm clouds rolled through her eyes. “Now you’re pissing me off. Besides insulting me. I love you. I want everyone to know—well, maybe not everyone.” Jenna kissed her. “I love you. Don’t be an idiot.”
“That will take some doing.”
“I know. But we’ve got time to work on it.”
“What about Birch Hill?”
“Where do you want to live?” Jenna asked.
“At Birch Hill. I’ll sell this place. It’s a great house, but that farm is your home.”
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely. It’s the Hardy homestead. That’s where we belong.”
“We’ll live there.” Jenna drew Gard’s hand to her heart, placed her palm over Gard’s, and kissed her. “But here is where we belong.”
About the Author
Radclyffe has published over thirty-five romance and romantic intrigue novels as well as dozens of short stories, has edited numerous romance and erotica anthologies, and, writing as L.L. Raand, has authored a paranormal romance series, The Midnight Hunters.
She is a seven-time Lambda Literary Award finalist in romance, mystery, and erotica—winning in both romance (Distant Shores, Silent Thunder) and erotica (Erotic Interludes 2: Stolen Moments edited with Stacia Seaman, and In Deep Waters 2: Cruising the Strip written with Karin Kallmaker) and a 2010 Prism award winner for Secrets in the Stone. She is a member of the Saints and Sinners Literary Hall of Fame, an Alice B. Readers’ award winner, a Benjamin Franklin Award finalist (The Lonely Hearts Club), and a ForeWord Review Book of the Year Finalist (Night Call in 2009; Justice for All, Secrets in the Stone, and Romantic Interludes 2: Secrets in 2010). Two of her titles (Returning Tides and Secrets in the Stone) are 2010 Heart Of Excellence Readers’ Choice finalists.
Writing as L.L. Raand she released the first Midnight Hunters novel, The Midnight Hunt, in March 2010. Blood Hunt is due for release March 2011. Her next First Responders novel, Firestorm, is due in July 2011.
Visit her Web sites at www.llraand.com and www.radfic.com.
Books Available From Bold Strokes Books
Head Trip by D.L. Line. Shelby Hutchinson, a young computer professional, can’t wait to take a virtual trip. She soon learns that chasing spies through Cold War Europe might be a great adventure, but nothing is ever as easy as it seems—especially love. (978-160282- 187-3)
Desire by Starlight by Radclyffe. The only thing that might possibly save romance author Jenna Hardy from dying of boredom during a summer of forced R&R is a dalliance with Gardiner Davis, the local vet—even if Gard is as unimpressed with Jenna’s charms as she appears to be with Jenna’s fame. (978-160282-188-0)
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