“GAAAH!” he yelped before he could help it.
“Pinkerbell, may I introduce to you some of our grey fairies, the invisible guardians of the Dufflin Forest. Admittedly, they are few, but they are nevertheless a force to be reckoned with. Their branch allows them to blend in perfectly with their environment. They are nigh invisible so our enemies literally never see what kills them. As you can gather, we are quite well protected here. Now, if you were to share this with any non-fairy, there would be EXTREME consequences. You may not even make it to our fancy dungeon. Do I make myself clear?”
Gitch gulped as he looked at the four pervy fairies. One already had a blade drawn and was looking at him eagerly. Another was reciting what sounded like an incantation under her breath and he could sense the power welling up within her.
Gitch quickly turned back to Lisha. “Yes, of course. I didn’t mean to be critical. You guys do you!”
That seemed to satisfy the wrinkled-up orange fairy. She shook her head at the grey guard who had drawn his blade. Gitch could have sworn he saw his face slump slightly, as if disappointed he would not get to use his pointy metal stick. Scum bag, Gitch thought. Thankfully, all four of them obeyed orders well enough, as they each disappeared from view.
Now that the danger was gone, or at least out of sight, he thought back on Lisha’s words. This place might just turn out to be way more important than he originally thought. One of the building‘s occupants, in particular, had piqued his interest.
“Did you say there is a post office here? Does that mean he can deliver a letter for me to another player, or alien, I guess?”
“Yes dearie, if you have the coin. Jermi can reach anyone in our realm, for a price. As I mentioned earlier, he is located downstairs.”
“Thanks!” he said as he sprinted off toward the stairs.
“Don’t mention it, Pinkerbell,” she called after him.
He turned and gave her a dirty look before he tripped and smashed his nose on the long tumble down to the basement.
“Friggin luck!” he said to himself, but then he heard something. It sounded like stifled laughter coming from the top of the staircase. He turned to look, but saw nothing. That was when it clicked. One of those grey stalkers had tripped him up!
“Jerk,” he said to the air.
“Hehehe! Watch your step! These stairs don’t approve of nooby imp-fodder. I’ll see ya ‘round,” the air said back. It sounded oddly familiar. He couldn’t place it, but he knew he had heard that voice before.
Gitch took a deep breath, careful not to say anything that he might regret later. He had no idea why this grey fairy was being such a... phallus-head... but there was nothing to be gained by fighting an invisible dude. He shook his head and looked about the room.
He half-expected a dingy basement, but the bottom floor was equally as impressive as the main level. One large room took up the entirety of the lower level and was divided equally into three sections that came together in a circle at the room’s center. Inside the circle stood a large silver box with no visible seams or hinges.
Each of the three sections looked identical to one another. A large counter stood near the back with an orange fairy standing just behind. The only feature that distinguished one section from another was the name-plate sitting on each counter. He walked over to the northern most counter after seeing a name plate which read ‘Jermi-Post‘.
“Hey there buddy! Picking up or dropping off?” Jermi said as he drew near.
“I guess I’m dropping off, but all I have is a name. Will you be able to find him? He’s an alien.”
“The odds are pretty good, so long as the recipient is still alive. They will receive a notification that mail is waiting for them at their nearest post-hall.”
“Fantastic! Ah man, you don’t know how great that is! His name is Croken. When will he get the letter?” he asked excitedly.
“Well, assuming we deliver to the right ‘Croken‘, the timing will be up to him. I can ensure that he receives the notification, but it will be up to Croken to visit the post-hall nearest him. Now, tell me what you know about Croken. The more information, the better, so I can be sure we are mailing to the correct recipient.”
Jermi reached down and grabbed an enormous book from back behind the counter. The spine was easily as long as his body, and Jermi had to hover slightly in the air to read its contents. He continued to flip until he found what he was looking for.
“According to my ledger, there are 43 Crokens alive in this world. Not an insurmountable number, but I will certainly need some additional detail to narrow him down. What do you have for me?”
“Well… eh, I actually don’t have any idea. He might also go by Thomas?” Gitch said hopefully.
“Not exactly helpful, bud. What about race or surname? Any kin? Even an approximate level or region would be helpful.”
“Well, he is my brother, but I don’t know any of that other stuff to be honest,” Gitch said, feeling a bit despondent.
“Oh, so he is a fairy then? That should narrow it down if you two are brothers.”
“What? No, I’m positive he isn’t a fairy. It sounded like he was a race that was much bigger and stronger than ours.”
“Bud, you sure you’re related? This is the kind of thing most people would know about their kin…”
“Yeah, we’re related! It’s just... complicated, alright?”
Jermi just continued to stare at him like he was stupid, but Gitch hardly noticed. He was busy racking his brain to try and remember even the tiniest detail of his Tommy’s tales of adventure. After about a minute of standing at the counter awkwardly, it came to him.
“He is of the Fangle tribe! Would that work?” he asked hopefully. There was nothing besides that tidbit of information, and he had only himself to blame. He had purposefully not asked Tommy about his character so he would be surprised when they finally met. That decision might end up costing him dearly.
Jermi licked his forefinger and flipped through his giant ledger, muttering softly to himself. “Fangle…Fangle… AH-HAH!”
The post-fairy stabbed down at one of the pages with his orange finger and looked up at Gitch. “Your brother is quite the individual. I never would have thought a fairy could be related to… that! For your mother’s sake, I hope your dad was the fairy. At least I now know who your Croken is.
“What are you blabbering on about? What’s it say about him in there?” He started ascending into the air to get a better look. This was not lost on Jermi, who abruptly closed the book before Gitch received a proper view.
“This ledger is for charted postmasters‘ eyes only! If you don’t want to spend the rest of your life wandering around with a seeing-eye frog, steer clear!” Jermi shouted. Loudly. Like, enough for the other two fairies in the room to look over in surprise. Gitch thought Jermi seemed a bit touchy about his book. Even though he was immensely curious, he was not about to risk losing his eye sight when he could just wait for a response from his brother.
“Alright dude, chill out. So, you found him, how much is this letter going to cost?”
Jermi visibly tried to calm himself, and when he spoke, it was at a much-reduced volume. Almost normal in fact. “For a simple letter, it will cost 50 copper, plus an additional 5 copper per sheet of paper. The price varies if you want to send an item or anything of real substance.”
Gitch readily agreed to the price and handed him the 55 copper pieces. He took a small sheet of paper and pencil from nearby and began to write.
Hey little brother! How’s Croken life? I have to say, this ‘game’ is nothing like I pictured. I have only met one other player, an imp, but I thought I would run into hundreds by now. The NPCs are so real that it hardly matters, but still, we should meet up. I‘m currently in the Dufflin Forest, and have no idea what or where you are. Mail me back and as soon as I raise enough money, and help out my new friends, I will find you little brother. I am a level 5 now by the way. Watch out! Love ya little bro!
<
br /> Gitch (Oliver)
He sealed the letter and slid it across the table, but Jermi didn’t reach to pick it up. Instead, he chanted a few words under his breath and gestured toward the cube in the center of the room. Gitch saw that the previously silver cube now shown a pure white, and there was a small slot in the side facing them.
“Take your letter and drop it in there. Croken will be notified instantly, I guarantee it. However, like I said, it is up to him to check his mail and respond to you if he so wishes.”
“Thanks, Jermi, I‘ll see you around. Keep that book safe for me, ya hear?” He gave him a wink and scurried off before the post-fairy went postal over his special book.
He dropped the letter in the cube which flashed twice before returning to its previously silver form. He next walked over to the banker in the middle section. It was time to get his finances in order; maybe open the fairy-equivalent of an IRA, possibly set up some health insurance. Who knew what dull possibilities were open to him? He looked down at the name plate and was taken aback.
“Hi, Bill. That’s not a fairy name is it?”
In the most boring of tones, Bill responded. “Well, I am a fairy, so I suppose that does indeed make it a fairy name. What can the bank do for you, mister…?”
He stifled a laugh. Even in this world, bankers were boring and unusually snobbish.
“Gitch, and that is actually my question for you. What is it that you can do for me exactly?”
“Ah, you are a noob. I suppose that is understandable. Yes, we can keep your money for safekeeping, but also any legally acquired items. I would caution against storing perishables. Our vaults are magical, but they are not perfect. Food tends to spoil, although at a slower rate.”
“So, you guys just take my stuff? Is that… helpful?” He really wasn’t seeing a need here.
Bill rubbed his temples before responding. “Yes, we store your stuff. Adventures have a knack for dying. If you don’t want to lose all your valuables upon your untimely death, you might consider storing with us. Also, I doubt you would be able to carry everything on your person. Why try, when you could simply drop the nonessentials off with us?”
“Alright, I get it. That does make a lot of sense. What’s the catch?” he asked pensively.
“No catch, we just charge a small fee for our services. It is quite reasonable, especially considering you would be able to access your vault at any time at any bank throughout the world,” Bill replied smugly.
“Bill, a fee is the very definition of a catch. Whatever. I see the value, but I don’t have anything I need stored right now. You guys do IRAs?”
Bill looked at him for several seconds before responding. “Yes... along with the other letters which make up our alphabet. If words are too complicated for you, we do have a splendid picture brochure we hand out to children on tours. Would you care for one?”
“Dude, next time, just say no. I guess I’ll be leaving then, but will probably be back at some point. Maybe I’ll teach you this Schoolhouse Rock song I know. I think you’ll like it.”
Bill simply sighed in annoyance. “I can’t wait.”
Gitch walked over to the porter whose name happened to be Reigh. She looked at him and genuinely smiled as he approached.
“Welcome! We have not received many aliens down here for some time. Actually, ever. Care to browse?” she asked warmly.
“Thanks, Reigh. If you don’t mind me asking, what is it you carry, exactly? I don’t actually see any goods,” he asked in confusion. This fairy seemed pretty nice, but might be on the wrong side of crazy.
“Oh silly, I‘m a porter! I have everything! I can import literally anything, so long as it‘s legal and you can pay for it. That second condition actually is the bigger deal, but don’t tell anyone! That fancy cube you see there? That’s a product of the Porter Guild. We lease out use for the Post and Banking Guilds, but that there allows us to bring in all manner of goods from around the world. I will admit, it’s rather costly, but it is absolutely worth it!”
The possibilities made Gitch salivate a bit. He could get anything? From anywhere!? Sweet! There was one thing he wanted above all others. One thing that swam instantly to the forefront of his mind.
“Do you have shoes?” He was full-on giddy. All the other fairies might be fine walking barefoot, but he was tired of stepping on rocks and pulling splinters out of his tootsies.
“Of course! I have an agreement with a cordwainer in the Duchy of Glyss. Can I interest you in a pair of premium dragon-scale boots? They are guaranteed to keep you warm in all weather, and can even produce a shockwave to stun nearby enemies. Only 348 gold!”
Those sounded legit! He was only about 348 gold short. “Um... I was looking for something a bit cheaper. Like almost free. What can I get for...” he checked his pouch. “Around a silver?”
She looked at him like he was an abused puppy on one of those animal rights television commercials. Her eyes went wide, and he could just imagine her saying, “Aww, you poor thing.”
“Aww, you poor thing! Let me see what I can come up with.” She pulled out a large book that looked eerily similar to the book Jermi had been all Gollum with. However, this one appeared to hold different items and their prices, rather than a dossier on every living person in Mentira. Still cool.
After a few minutes of searching, Reigh looked back up at him. “For 1 silver and 18 copper, I can port you a Chimpunk-Skinned Moccasin. How‘s that sound?”
“Yes! Honestly, I didn’t care what kind of-wait! Did you say a moccasin? As in singular? What, do I get to choose right or left foot? Come on!” he exclaimed. He just couldn’t catch a break. Friggin luck!
“Well… yes. The pair would cost you two silver. I would sure like to help you out, but that is the best I can do… unless we can come to some sort of arrangement…” She looked him up and down, appraisingly.
“What? Eww, no! I’m not pimping out for one shoe made of chipmunk skin!”
“Chimpunks, not chipmunks! Do not confuse the two. Chimpunks are one of the most vile, evil creatures to walk this realm. You would NOT want to run across one of those when adventuring solo. They say their breath alone is enough to send a grown man mad. Also, get your head out of the latrine! You gave me a business idea, is all, and I could use your help. You up for a quest?” she asked with a mischievous grin.
He agreed and she began sharing her plan. Apparently, there was only one way out of this forest, through the Dead Wood, and no ‘alien’ had been able to complete the trip. Many had tried, but they always respawned back in the village days, or even just hours later. In an effort to become stronger and survive the journey, most of the players began questing. Hard.
Every day was spent completing random tasks or killing evil things, with players returning back to The Hall in the evening for their reward. They were mostly seeking experience, but they ultimately received various amounts of monetary compensation as well. It wasn’t much, but it accumulated very quickly. Some had blown it away on crap gear, but there were several who had stored up a good deal of wealth. Reigh‘s plan was to help them with that problem.
No fairy born and raised in this forest wore shoes, so naturally they did not sell them locally. NPCs just had no desire for them, but that didn’t stop the players from hounding the various market vendors if they carried any. Gitch was hardly the first to inquire, but he was the first to make his way to the basement within The Hall of Necessities, for only fairies that had sworn allegiance to the queen were granted access. Reigh made it seem that he was the one and only alien kinsman within the village. None of the other players had yet taken that step, for better or worse.
“So, you see, these shoes typically cost two silver, but I propose you head up to the second floor and see if you can weasel four silver a pair! That leaves a silver for each of us, and I’ll even throw in a pair of shoes for you to keep! You in?”
Quest Received: Let’s Get Some Shoes! (Repeatable)
Reigh the Porter has re
quested your assistance in helping to alleviate your fellow players of their stored wealth. Utilize your new status as Kinsman to peddle 10 pairs of shoes to the desperate fairies above. Quest may be repeated once daily.
Reward:
A pair of Chimpunk-Skinned Moccasins
Variable silver
500 experience points
It was Gitch’s turn to grin at receiving yet another repeatable quest. He was picking up what she was laying down alright! She presumably could not leave her position, and the players could not come to her. There was no competition for miles, which left only him. Gitch was curious why the amount of silver was hidden, but he knew he was about to get PAID! Maybe it was shady, but supply and demand was a part of life.
“I‘m in. How many shoes can you order?”
“Come with me,” Reigh said as she stepped out from behind the counter and led him back to the magic box in the center of the room.
“Please, touch the cube. It doesn’t really matter where,” Reigh said once they were both in position. Gitch set his palm against the side closest to him and looked at Reigh expectantly. She placed a finger on one of the top corners and spoke one word, “Tellos!”
The cube began to change color and even shape. It darkened until it was blacker than any color could possibly become. Gitch realized that sounded stupid, but it was still true. Reigh told him to pull his hand back, which he did, though it was more out of shock than obedience. The portal before him was pure nothingness, yet he felt it calling out to him. Gitch started reaching out with his hand to touch it once more, and was less than a tween’s first mustache hair away before Reigh slapped his hand back.
“Unless you want to turn into a pink jelly and be slurped up by some interdimensional demon, keep your little nose pickers away from the portal!” she reprimanded.
The sting in his hand was enough to set him straight, and he could have sworn he heard a sigh of disappointment coming from inside the black empty. He took another step back and watched Reigh, the same fairy who had just chastised him for nearing the death hole, stick both arms into the portal! She looked to be feeling around for something and was soon in up to her elbows.
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