“I don’t want anyone in here to see me. If they come in, I’ll rip all these tubes out. I want to be alone. Just leave me alone.”
Tears filled his eyes.
“Please.”
“Yes, Mr. Carter.”
She left, closing the door.
Nate listened to the disappearing footsteps and began sobbing.
Alone.
Like he’d deserved.
Epilogue
Two Weeks Later
H e was home, and he hated every second of it. Once he was released from the hospital, he took a taxi to the airport and then boarded a plane. He didn't call his family for a ride to his place because he didn't want to see the sympathy.
Nate couldn’t bear to have them look at him with such pain in their eyes, or hear them try to tell him they knew how he felt.
They didn't have a fucking clue.
No one understood.
How could they?
Quinn had the woman he loved at his side. He could go back home with his wife, waiting for the birth of a new baby. His life would go on.
Nate was bitter.
Then he thought about his partner and best friend. Luke was just as lucky. He could go to his place and be safe. Maura would be lounging beside him as they planned their wedding.
TOGETHER.
He wouldn’t ever feel that.
There wouldn’t be any moments of happiness in his life. There’d be no wedding or blushing bride. There’d be no peace in his heart—only a giant hole, growing larger each day.
His life was officially over.
Yes, he’d ride it out, but it would be with him locked inside his condo until he’d lost the battle. He would drink himself to the end of his life, and one day, when he couldn’t buy more booze, he’d eat his gun.
As he poured himself another scotch, he contemplated tossing in a couple of pain pills to numb the ache in his body, heart, and mind. Taking one out, he swallowed it with a mouth full of booze.
Just as he thought about taking one more, for good measure, there was a knock on his door. He didn't plan on opening it, having to face people he didn't want to see.
Only, the person kept ringing and ringing the bell. It was making him crazy. Limping there, he peeked out the hole.
It wasn’t who he thought it would be.
“Open up, Nathaniel. We have to talk.”
It was Elizabeth Blackhawk.
He opened the door as he chugged his scotch. Already, the pill was making his mind fuzzy. “What do you want? I quit my job. You don’t have to show up on my doorstep.”
She walked in, two men behind her.
“Yeah, about that, you can’t quit. I won’t accept your resignation.” She checked out the state of the place. “You’re living like a slob.”
“So what? Are you now my fucking mother?”
Ethan and Callen stared at him, but Elizabeth didn't seem to bat an eyelash. She had to come because it was time.
Nate needed to move on.
“We have a new assignment for you. It’s classified Phoenix. Now that your Oracle protection detail is over, there’s a new job.”
He flinched at her blasé attitude toward Avalon’s death. “You’re a heartless bitch if you can come in here and pretend she was nothing more than a job. Get out of my house! I’m not taking any jobs. I’m done. I won’t ever pretend I care about the FBI, or the endless supply of cases needing my attention.”
Elizabeth watched him sway. “You need to come with us, Nate.”
His voice slurred. “Kiss off.”
She watched him chug the booze. By the way he was slurring and stumbling, it wouldn’t be long.
He dropped onto the couch. “You can’t do anything to me that hasn’t been done.” He lifted his casted arm. When he woke and saw his family had written all over it, he made them change it. It was now black, just like his soul.
“Oh, I’m going to do what’s best for you. You’re going back to work.”
“Can’t make me,” he said, as the booze and pill kicked in.
She laughed. “Yeah, you’re doing so well. You couldn’t spell ‘kick my ass’ let alone do it.”
His tongue was fuzzy. Falling back, Nate landed on his couch. He saw Elizabeth standing over him, but he didn't care. “Avalon,” he whispered.
Then he was out.
“Clean him up. He’s not waking up looking like some escapee from an institution.”
Callen and Ethan lugged him to his room to deal with their director. While they were gone, Elizabeth got to work. She cleaned up the mess, flushed the pain pills, and dumped the booze. Nathaniel Carter was getting an intervention.
He needed it.
* * * C a r t e r - G a i n e s * * *
Three Hours Later
He came to with one hell of a headache, and he woke in the backseat of a Lincoln Town car. Beside him was Elizabeth Blackhawk, and not far away were the men in her life.
“Where am I?”
“A little town called Fire Bay. This house,” she said, pointing out the window, “was my inheritance from a man I lost and loved.”
He stared at her.
“When I was young, my mother died in a car accident. My daddy did everything he could to make me pull out of it, but I didn't give a shit. I was being eaten alive by the guilt at ten years old.”
Nate didn't speak.
“He and a good family friend brought me here every summer. I ran wild, but eventually, it saved me.”
“I don’t really care. You and I are nothing alike. I lost the woman I loved.”
Oh, he was very wrong about that. They were exactly alike, and she was going to help him through what nearly took her to her knees.
“You’re going to care, Nate. You have people who love you, and they’re worried. This house, it’s going to be your fresh start. I can’t go back and change what happened, but I can give you a second chance.”
“I don’t want to go on. Why is that so hard to believe? If you lost them, what would happen?” he asked, pointing at Callen and Ethan.
She exited her side of the vehicle. “I’d die inside, but you haven’t lost Avalon.”
“Spare me the total bullshit about her being in my heart. I can’t see her in my dreams anymore, I can’t smell her perfume, and I certainly won’t go on without her. I choose to let myself die.”
She opened his door. “Walk with me. Give me five minutes, and if I can’t change your mind, I’ll hand you my gun and watch you put a bullet in your brain. Either way, you’re not doing this alone. You have people who love you.”
He only got out because he wanted to puke up what was left of the booze. When he ran his fingers over his face, someone shaved his scruffiness away.
“Jesus! You groomed me too? What the hell! You’re a pain in my ass.”
“Yeah, and I’m also your boss, so mind your damn manners, or I’m calling your momma. I have her number on speed dial because you and your sister are going to make me old before my time!”
He gave up. “You have four minutes and thirty seconds, and then I’ll expect your gun.”
Yeah, he was a pain in her ass.
Elizabeth led the way as Nate followed her around the corner of the house. It was the place she’d brought Avalon to keep her safe. It seemed fitting. “Your new life starts now, Nate. You’re going to take on Project Phoenix, and like the mythical creature, you’re going to rise up from the ashes of what was, and make something new.”
“I don’t want to start over. I want to die. I lost the woman I love. I lost the only thing that mattered to me. You can’t make me take this job.”
“Yeah, I really can.”
“I don’t want some codenamed bullshit on my shoulders. I want Oracle back. Phoenix, whatever it is, can kiss my ass.”
“You’re phoenix, Nate. You’re half the mission.”
“Again, no.”
“If you don’t, who’s going to do it then?” Elizabeth asked.
“I don’t
care. I’m dying alone.”
“But I need you, Nathaniel.”
It was her voice.
He spun, his world going upside down when he saw her. It was Avalon’s voice, but her hair was gone. It wasn’t blonde anymore, but they were clearly the same eyes.
She was there.
“Jesus.” He stumbled back. “You're dead. You’re supposed to be dead!”
“Yeah, about that,” Elizabeth said, whistling for the rest of the team.
From the back of the house Jagger, Maura, Luke, Callie and Quinn exited. “See, in order to get her free from working for the government, she had to die. Avalon wasn’t in the building when it blew. Technically, Oracle still needs you. She needs a partner in this fun fest. Oracle is rising my friend, and together, you’re the phoenix, rising from the ashes.”
“I don’t understand.”
Jagger raised his hand. “I got her out. Then we blew the place up together,” he stated. “Let’s just say that there was no way anyone could walk away from that. In fact, it was so hot, they couldn’t find any remains.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The world had to believe I was gone,” Avalon stated. “In order to be free, I had to die.”
He glared angrily at Elizabeth.
“Save it, Nate. They tried to tell you. They were there when you woke up, weren’t they?”
He closed his mouth. She was right.
“We could have spared you some self-loathing had you not refused to see them. While Jagger and Maura were getting Avalon a makeover, you were supposed to be told, but you’re a stubborn man. You kicked them out of your life, got rid of your cell phone, and wouldn’t open your door. What were they supposed to do? Write it in blood and slide it into your mail slot?”
He didn't have an answer.
“This is VERY top secret. My ass is going to swing if this gets out. I’m not talking fired. I’m talking Leavenworth or some place they house traitors. I just stole POTUS’s secret weapon.”
He didn't know what to say to his boss, so instead, he stared at Avalon.
“So it’s really you?”
She nodded. “I missed you, Nathaniel.” In her hand, she held out a candy bar. It was just like the one she’d split with him before he was taken. “Remember?”
He absolutely did.
Nate rushed her, pulling Avalon into his arms. When he was holding her, she felt same. “Please tell me I’m not passed out on my couch.”
She pulled his mouth down to hers for a kiss.
His legs gave out, and together, they fell to the ground. His eyes filled with tears as he held her against his body.
“We wanted to tell you, Nate,” Luke said. “I tried to let you in on it.”
“I showed up but the locks were changed,” Callie stated. “So, we gave you time. Elizabeth said you needed to know now before you killed your liver. You’re an idiot,” his sister said, her eyes filling with tears.
They’d nearly lost Nate.
They’d come damn close to losing him first to a killer, and then to himself.
“So, about this job that you don’t want to be involved with,” Elizabeth began. “Avalon would like to help people, and we happen to have a file cabinet full of weird and crazy shit that fits the bill.”
“I made a promise if we both lived, I’d dedicate my life to this, Nathaniel. Help me keep my promise.”
He kissed her again and again, not able to believe she was really alive.
“Help me save them,” Avalon said, taking his healing face in her hands. “I’m free from the cage, Nate.”
His heart skipped in his chest. If this was a dream, he prayed he never woke up. “I’ll do it.”
Elizabeth tossed Jagger the keys to her house. “This place has too many memories for me. Make new ones,” she stated, getting ready to turn away.
“Elizabeth, wait!”
She stopped.
Nate had some business to wrap up. As he approached her, he needed to know one thing.
“Why?” he asked, knowing what she was sacrificing. Elizabeth Blackhawk was breaking the law. She was lying to the President of the United States, and she was giving him one hell of a gift.
“I always liked you, Nate. You remind me of myself.”
He laughed. “No really.”
Elizabeth patted his bruised cheek as she thought about her answer. “Maybe, just maybe, the good guys do deserve to win. We sacrifice a lot and sometimes, Cupid has to sneak in and stack the deck in your favor. I like to pay my people back for their good deeds. You served your country, and so did Avalon. This one is all yours.”
“Thank you,” he said, placing his hand over hers.
“Welcome home, team. We’ll talk in a couple of days. Get used to the place and I’ll be in contact.”
“Elizabeth, thank you,” Avalon said.
“For you, Oracle, anything.”
With that, she was gone.
Nate couldn’t believe it. When he turned, he owed them all an apology. “I’m so sorry that I wouldn’t let you in. I just couldn’t face the day without her.”
“We’re family, Nate. We’ll hold you up when you fall, and we’ll help keep your biggest secret,” Maura said, pointing at Avalon.
“I don’t know what to say.”
Quinn laughed. “Here’s a hint, Nate. Kiss the damn girl.”
He did just that.
As his family watched, he made it count. When he was done, he stared into her beautiful eyes. “I kinda like you as a redhead. It’s sexy.”
She could see his aura morphing. The man she fell for was back. He was whole once again. “Nathaniel, you’re the love of my life.”
“Avalon?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s go check out our new cage. I can’t wait to christen it.”
Luke couldn’t help it. “If the cage is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.”
Maura sucker punched him. “Perv.”
Avalon giggled when he swept her up into his arms.
So, this was family.
It was a beautiful thing.
“Welcome home, Avi. Our adventure is just beginning.”
Meanwhile:
(Oracle Rising: The Phoenix Files~ Book One)
She was scared.
Something was after her. She could see it in the dark each time she closed her eyes.
It was calling to her.
It wanted to break her, but she refused to let it. She was stronger than that, and she wouldn’t lose.
Yet, it followed her there.
It followed her everywhere.
Even when she moved to that simple little town, it was there waiting for her. It went bump in the night, and she didn't know what to do.
No one would listen to her.
No one cared.
So, instead of talking about it anymore, she’d just keep running. Eventually, someone would save her.
As she kept her eyes closed, she felt it near.
“I’m here for you,” it whispered.
She wanted to be sick as the cold touch of chills crept up her body. Evil was upon her, and there had to be a way out.
Maybe if she…
The icy claws crept up her body, signaling that she was about to hear the truth.
Then the whispers began, and she fought not to hear them.
Only, she couldn’t get away.
“Another is dead. You can’t stop me.”
Her heart pounded in her chest.
There had to be someone to help her. When she opened her eyes, it all flashed through her mind.
The blood.
The gore.
The death.
The voice was right. She couldn’t stop him. No one could, and that was what terrified her.
She saw the next woman, and didn't know what to do. Who was she to call?
Would it even matter?
Running from the room, she hid in the closet that gave her the most peace. She had to do something.
Anything.
There was laughter.
She was losing hope that anyone could stop it. It was growing bigger and bigger with each passing day. It was hungry for blood and death.
Praying for a sign, she closed her eyes and waited for it. There, in the darkness of her mind, she saw the fiery bird.
It was rising over the ashes.
She was confused.
Then she saw the word.
Oracle.
And for the first time in a long time, she had hope.
Coming Next:
Pledging to Die
Book eleven
July 2015
http://www.amazon.com/Morgan-Kelley/e/B001KHAQ10/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1
Other books by Morgan Kelley:
Standalone books
The Junction
Serial Sins
The Blood Betrayal
Romance/FBI Thriller Series
Elizabeth, Ethan, and Callen
The Killing Times (book 1)
Sacred Burial Grounds (book 2)
True Love Lost (book 3)
Deep Dark Mire (book 4)
Fire Burns Hot (book 5)
Darkness of Truth (book 6)
Devil Hath Come (book 7)
Consumed by Wrath (book 8)
Redemption is Here (book 9)
Dead Shall Speak (book 10)
Pledging to Die (book 11) Summer 2015
Slay Bells Ring (book 12) Christmas 2015
Past will Haunt (book 12.5/13) Winter 2016
Croft & Croft Romance Adventure Series
Greyson and Emma Croft
Celestia is Falling (book 1)
Vegas is Dying (book 2)
Christmas is Killing (book 3)
Love is Bleeding (book 4)
Heaven is Weeping (book 5)
Hell is Burning (book 6) Fall 2015
Justice is Dying (book 7) Winter 2015
Sinner Reborn Page 41