by Kendall Ryan
“Rick told me it’s your first time on film. Don’t worry about trying too hard. Just have fun. And I won’t get off with all these people watching me, so don’t worry about that. It’ll still feel good to me, so just do your thing. Okay?”
I nodded. “You got it.” I liked her already. From what I’d seen, she was going to be easy to work with.
Rick’s production company prided itself on exploring the intimate side of sex, rather than being typical hard-core porn with lewd close-up shots of body parts sliding together. Everything was filmed at a distance.
In this scene, we were lovers who’d been separated for a long time. I was arriving home from a business trip to find her waiting for me in lingerie while I was dressed for work and wore black slacks and a shirt and tie. We began at the front door, where the film crew captured a few initial scenes of us kissing.
Once we’d filmed that brief scene, we moved to the bedroom, with full-on lights and a sound crew. Cameras were stationed around the room, all pointing directly at the bed.
Rick busied himself with the crew making sure everything was set the way he wanted it and then came back to stand in front of me and Mollie. “We’re set to start rolling, so you two go ahead and get started when you’re ready. We’re just here to capture your lovemaking as it happens. So let it be natural,” he told us. “And don’t even think of us being here.”
I heard the telltale click of the camera recording and I moved toward Mollie, then hesitated and glanced down at my pants and the absence of any bulge. Not again. The fucker had better cooperate this time.
Noticing my scowl, Mollie followed my gaze. Without a word, she reached down and began rubbing me over the material of my slacks. “Shh. No need to be nervous,” she said softly. “Just relax. This is my job. Just enjoy it.” She leaned in to kiss me and I felt myself relax. And even better, I felt my dick stir to life. I kissed her back, adding some tongue until we were enthusiastically making out and the line between work and pleasure was definitely being crossed.
I moved her to the bed, unhooking her bra and tugging down her panties as we kissed.
And a few moments later, I was sinking inside her, all the standard foreplay I typically excelled at rendered unnecessary. Mollie rode me like the goddamn pro that she was, tossing her hair back and gripping my thighs as she lifted herself up and down on my cock. Yes, we were going through the motions, but it was devoid of any feelings—even pleasure—as strange as that sounds.
I kept my eyes trained on her, needing to stay in the scene and not look at the crew who were glued to our performance. The strangeness of the whole situation ensured I wasn’t going to blow too soon, something I’d been a little worried about.
My mind drifted unconsciously to Alexa and the way she looked in that little sundress. Her sweet innocence coupled with that feisty mouth of hers left me both turned on and confused. But I knew if I channeled my desire for Alexa into this performance, I would lose it. I opened my eyes and refocused on the girl in front of me and tried to play the role I knew I needed to play.
Mollie moaned and gasped out high-pitched screeches that sounded incredibly fake. I was typically quiet during sex, preferring to hear the sounds of pleasure from the girl I was with, but her fake-sounding, over-the-top moans were grating on my nerves. Her screams built louder and I knew she was faking her orgasm. When her screams quieted to soft cries, her fake climax complete, all without any of the pleasure of feeling her pussy pulse around me, I pulled out and rolled her onto her stomach so I could fuck her from behind and finish this in relative peace.
CHAPTER 6
* * *
Alexa
Over the next several days, I couldn’t get Cade out of my head no matter how hard I tried. It didn’t help that I’d visited the porn site several times after finding he now had a video clip posted. I’d watched it numerous times, studying the way his hands explored the girl’s body, and the rocking motion of his hips thrusting inside her, and the expressions of pleasure on his chiseled features. Each time I’d felt so dirty afterwards I’d had to scrub myself pink in the shower and bring some relief to my throbbing sexual need, all the while promising myself I wouldn’t watch it again.
Remembering his gentle nature with his sister made me feel even worse about using him for my viewing pleasure. Yet I still couldn’t keep my promise to myself about not watching the video. It was becoming a nightly routine, and had begun haunting my dreams. He still only had the one video clip, and I’d watched it so many times I now had it memorized. After realizing how silent Cade was, I watched it on mute from then on, not wanting to ruin it by listening to the girl’s annoying screams.
In the days that followed, my thoughts drifted repeatedly to Cade’s sweet little sister and the fierce determination that burned in her eyes. It broke my heart to realize they couldn’t afford physical therapy, and I inadvertently found myself visiting the physical therapy wing to ask a few questions of the therapist. It turned out that the severity of Lily’s impairment could range from minor and therefore not require much ongoing care, to severe, requiring lifelong physical therapy to help with flexibility and discomfort.
I didn’t know which his sister had, but I had a pretty good notion that it was of the more serious nature, since she couldn’t walk unassisted. I’d watched as the therapist worked with another child on one of those giant exercise balls and an idea planted itself firmly in my mind.
• • •
“Are you insane?” MacKenzie thrust the third paper cup of vending-machine coffee of the night at me. It was how we stayed awake and alert on the midnight shift.
I accepted the cup and dumped in a hefty dose of sugar, knowing the beverage needed it to make it drinkable. “Says the woman who thought sleeping with him was a good idea. That would have been insane. I’m just talking about going to see him again. I can’t stop thinking about that little girl, Kenz. And about how maybe I could help.”
She shook her head. “Is this like the time you went to drop off groceries to the homeless people under the bridge and nearly got abducted, or the time you volunteered at the animal shelter and almost got eaten by that pit bull?”
“No,” I grumbled. “This is nothing like that. I just want to drop by, check on them—I mean her—and see how I can help. He said he couldn’t afford her physical therapy, Kenz. She deserves better.”
“News flash, you’re not a physical therapist. You’re a nursing student, Alexa.”
I tried a sip of the coffee, needing to get the caffeine in my system before my ten-minute break was over. Damn, still too hot. “Close enough. I’ll have to do. That is, if he’ll even accept the help.”
“And this has nothing to do with seeing Cade again?” She cocked an eyebrow up at me suspiciously.
I focused on my coffee, stirring in another spoonful of sugar just for good measure.
“Because all that crap about sleeping with him? I was kidding, babe. You’re sweet and beautiful. You deserve someone freakin’ amazeballs. Not some random guy who sells his body for money.”
“Amazeballs?” I questioned, looking up from my coffee.
“Ah-maze-balls,” she confirmed with a straight face.
I giggled at her. “I’ve got to get back to work. Just trust me on this one, okay?” I downed a scalding gulp of the coffee and threw the cup in the trash on my way into the hall.
“It’s your vagina!” she called after me, her voice carrying out into the hallway.
I cringed as the doctor passing by me perked up at the V word being shouted in our direction.
Yikes, MacKenzie was a hot mess. But then, maybe so was I.
• • •
Maybe this was a stupid idea. After sleeping late, I’d showered and dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a simple black tank top, and then after making a stop at a sporting-goods store, I was currently parked in front of Cade’s house once again.
I’d shown up the same time as before, thinking he’d be here to meet his sister off
the bus again, but his pickup truck wasn’t in the driveway.
I grabbed the exercise ball and pump from the backseat and made my way up to house.
Moments later, an attractive girl answered the door. She looked to be around my age, maybe a year or two younger, and she was pretty with long blonde hair that hung down her back and wide-set gray eyes. My stomach dropped. Was this Cade’s girlfriend?
Shit. Did porn stars have girlfriends? That would require a lot of trust. I mean, geez, he slept with other women for a living.
“Can I help you?”
I stood there for a second, still thrown off by this girl’s appearance and the question of her relationship with Cade, until I realized I hadn’t answered her yet. “Is Cade home?”
She shook her head. “He’s working. Who are you?”
I swallowed down a lump in my throat. “I’m Alexa, a…friend of his. And I brought this,” I held up the exercise ball, “for Lily. I’m a nurse.” Almost. Friend? Nurse? Geez, the lies were just spewing from my mouth.
“Oh. Okay.” She opened the door wider and stepped to the side. “Lily will be home in a few minutes. You can come in and wait if you like. I’m Stacey, by the way.”
I don’t know why I didn’t just hand over the ball and leave. Instead, I followed her in the house, wondering what in the world I was doing and who the heck Stacey was.
I’d officially and well and truly lost my mind.
CHAPTER 7
* * *
Cade
I parked my truck and wondered where the hell Stacey’s car had gone. Had she taken Lily somewhere? I didn’t like the idea of Stacey driving Lily around in that deathtrap of hers. I grabbed my toolbox from the bed of the truck and stashed it in the garage before heading inside.
I was greeted by sounds of giggling coming from Lily’s room. Ok, Lily was here, but what about Stacey? I stopped at the kitchen sink to wash the grime from my hands and then headed down the hall to find out what was going on.
The sight that greeted me wasn’t at all what I was expecting. Lily was lying on a big exercise ball and Alexa was kneeling beside her, helping her to roll across the ball. I watched in stunned fascination for a second trying to understand what she was doing here and where the hell Stacey had gone to.
“Caden!” Lily shrieked, spotting me in the doorway. She lifted herself from the ball on shaky legs, crossing the few steps without her walker and throwing herself into my arms.
“Hi baby doll.” I pulled her little body to mine in a brief hug. “What are you guys doing?” I wanted to ask Alexa what the fuck she was doing in my house, but the grin on Lily’s face instantly calmed me.
“Lexa is teaching me some new exercises for my legs!” She returned to the ball, and bounced excitedly while Alexa grinned at her and held it steady. Lily’s cheeks were flushed pink and I had to admit I hadn’t ever seen her this excited to do her stretches. I just hoped she wasn’t overdoing it.
“That’s…nice. Alexa, can I have a word with you in the other room?” I turned for the living room without waiting for her response.
“Stay here while I go talk to Cade, okay?” I heard her say to Lily. She followed me into the living room, worry etched on her face.
“What are you doing here? Where’s Stacey?” My tone was biting, but I couldn’t help that right now.
“I came over to see Lily and then Stacey left.”
“She left? The person I’m paying to babysit her just left her, with… you. Someone Lily doesn’t even know. What are you even doing here?”
“It really isn’t a big deal.”
“It’s a big fucking deal to me.” I turned and faced the window, not wanting to lose my temper. Damn, I trusted Stacey. How could she just leave Lily alone with a stranger?
“Hey.” Alexa’s hand on my forearm caught my attention. “I told her I was a friend of yours, and a nurse. I think she assumed…”
“That you were Lily’s nurse?”
“Something like that.” She shrugged and removed her hand from my arm.
I blew out a frustrated breath and pressed the heels of my hands over my eyes. Fuck I was exhausted and dirty from working construction all day. All I wanted to do was come home, shower, make dinner, and crash on the couch. I didn’t expect to come home to this.
“I’m sorry, I wanted to help,” Alexa revealed softly. “Stacey left only five minutes before you got here. And she did try to call your cell, but she couldn’t get through.”
I opened my eyes and met hers. Soft blue and wide with worry. Shit. I was being a dick. She came here to help, that much is obvious, and I was ranting and making her feel like shit. “Listen, it’s all right. Lily is safe and happy. I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that. Finding good help to watch her is hard, and I don’t think I’ll be using Stacey again, but that’s not your fault.”
“Don’t fire her on my account.” She pleaded. “I promise it was just a misunderstanding.”
“I’ll think about it. At the very least we’ll be having a little talk about safety and strangers at the door.” I sighed, not wanting to argue with Alexa. “Regardless, uh, thanks for working with her today.”
She pulled in a breath and her shoulders visibly sagged with relief. “You’re welcome.”
“I can’t afford a private nurse—”
“That’s not why I came. You don’t owe me anything.”
I cocked my head, studying her. “Then why did you come?” I honestly hadn’t expected to see her again, and now she was here, in my house, looking sexy in a pair of low-rise jeans and a fitted tank top that clung to her chest.
Alexa didn’t get a chance to answer my question, because at that moment, Lily came barreling down the hallway, her walker clattering against the wood floor. “I want Lexa!”
Alexa met my eyes and we both smiled. Lily’s enthusiasm was contagious. “Do you mind,um, staying with her for a few more minutes? I need to hop in the shower.” I looked down at my grimy jeans and T-shirt.
“Sure, not a problem.”
I kissed the top of Lily’s head. “Be good, okay?”
She nodded and lunged for me, wrapping herself around my leg in a hug. I winced, and bent over, moving her out of the way from clobbering my nuts. Alexa held in a laugh, realizing what I was doing. Then she headed back to her room with Alexa. I disappeared into the bathroom, completely confused at this turn of events.
Alexa was in my house, melting my damn heart by how sweet she was being with Lil.
Before I closed the door, I poked my head out and listened to the happy sounds of conversation and laughter coming from Lily’s bedroom.
“What does your brother like for dinner?” Alexa asked.
Lily took her time answering, and I held my breath, wondering what she’d say. “Um, usually he likes to eat ice cream. And I do too.”
“For dinner? You do, huh?” Alexa chuckled. “Well let’s find something healthy to make and maybe we can have ice cream after dinner.”
I grinned and shook my head. The little brat had busted me. I do like ice cream, but not as much as her. I took my time in the shower, my mind momentarily at ease that Lily was in good hands. I let the hard spray of water beat down on me, and closed my eyes and enjoyed washing a crazy busy day down the drain.
After my shower, I threw on a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt and followed the amazing scent of garlic and tomatoes into the kitchen. It had been a long time since anyone had cooked for me yet now I had a gorgeous woman cooking for me and my baby sister.
I leaned against the door frame and observed Alexa wiping down the kitchen counter, and I suddenly felt out of place in my own home. I didn’t know whether to go in and help her, or see what Lily was up to, or continue to stand here and watch her, because damn she was a pretty sight to get lost in.
Alexa spotted me, and made the decision for me. “Dinner’s ready. Want to get Lily?”
I nodded and found Lily in the living room, playing with the ball from earlier.
&
nbsp; “Come on munchkin, let’s eat.” I lifted her onto my hip, and carried her into the kitchen.
The table had been set with a big platter of spaghetti and meatballs, and a small cup of milk for Lily and a glass of ice water for me.
Lily stared in wonder at the place mats, napkins and dishes for two. Her stomach rumbled loudly and she slapped a little hand over her mouth and giggled.
Alexa’s eyes caught mine and we both laughed.
“Hungry, little one?” I asked, settling her into her chair.
“Yep. And guess what?”
“What’s that?” I placed a napkin over her lap.
“I helped Lexa roll the meatballs.”
“Oh yeah? I bet they’ll taste extra good then.”
She basked in the compliment. It was times like this, witnessing her sweet innocence and desire to belong, to fit in, that pulled at my heart and made every hour of hard work worth it. I loved her fiercely and I would always protect her and do whatever was needed to ensure she had the life she deserved.
Alexa gathered up her purse from the counter. “I had fun with you today, Lily.”
“You’re not staying?” I asked, realizing then that the table was only set for two.
“Oh, no.” She looked down, adjusting the strap of her purse. “You guys enjoy.”
“But you haven’t had dinner yet, have you?”
She shook her head.
I stood and directed her towards the table. “Sit.” I guided her into the chair next to mine then retrieved an extra plate and silverware from the kitchen, setting them in front of her. “Here.” I scooped up a heap of spaghetti for Lily first, then some for Alexa.
“Oh, that’s way too much.” Alexa gestured to the full plate.
“Mine’s too much too,” Lily said, grinning over at Alexa.