by Louisa Bacio
In the fall, they created these wreaths of fertility and performed a sacred dance. Most births came from the lying down together that happened over the winter, and the old wives’ tales of the Pack were that these rituals continued the tradition. Silver didn’t want to tell any of them that even in the human world, many people got busy in the bedroom during the wintertime. Now only did it help keep one warm, but the cold outside also cut down on extracurricular hobbies and activities. Many people simply didn’t have anything better to do.
The harvesting of the long, dry summer would be finished, and it would be time to get ready for the colder months. Out here in the wilderness, Silver imagined the elements dictated behavior much more than in the city.
At that thought, Silver glanced up and caught Viktor watching her. She hadn’t seen him yet today, and still his presence etched itself upon her soul. He wore a pair of loose-fitting, faded jeans, the look not from fashion sense but from hard work. His black T-shirt had seen much better days, and now appeared more charcoal gray and frayed along the sleeve edges. She imagined how soft the material would feel against her hands, and rubbing against her bare chest.
Heat crept up her cheeks as a blush spread, and he smiled at her. The side of his mouth quirked up, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking about. The night before, she had fallen asleep with her hand in her underwear, and his name on her mouth. It wasn’t difficult to fantasize what it would be like to fall asleep within the warmth and strength of his arms. Damn, he was one fine, good-looking man.
“You know he’s never chosen a mate before,” Jana said.
“Who?”
“You know who.” She gave a nod of her head toward Viktor. “The one intently staring at you. In the fall festivities, he always disappears and doesn’t select someone to lie with.”
Silver’s mouth hung open, and she consciously shut it. “You mean he’s never had sex?”
“Shhh,” a few women in the circle hushed them, and glared at Silver.
Jana giggled in response. “I didn’t say that, but choosing a woman during the ceremony means something different. I’ll bet you he sticks around this year.”
On Saturday, when the ritual took place, the men were given a chance to claim a mate for the season. Silver placed a hand on her stomach, thinking about Lily and her pregnancy with Lowell. Although the birth wasn’t quite what any of them had been expecting, the joy far outweighed any hardship. With a pang of regret, an image of Nick came to her mind: Him being turned, and crying out in pain, and his loving touch.
The heat of Viktor’s stare bore into Silver, deep to her soul. He touched a part of her she didn’t know existed. On some molecular level, she wanted him like no other. And still, she couldn’t let go of Nick and what they shared. He remained unfinished business.
“So who do you hope to attract?” Silver asked, knowing Jana often watched her stepbrother, the fair-haired Dominick, when she thought no one was looking.
Her friend’s eyes grew wide, and she shook her head. “No one. I’ll take part in the ceremony, but I’m not … mate-worthy.”
“What the hell? What are you talking about? You’re gorgeous.” Silver couldn’t see anyone, male or female, turning down the opportunity to get with Jana. With her voluptuous curves and generous heart, she’d make a wonderful mother.
Her cheeks turned pink, as she continued to protest. “I’d rather not talk about it. Just take my word for it.”
Come Saturday, Silver had no idea what she would do if Viktor claimed her for his mate. She couldn’t imagine turning him down, and the shame it would bring to her and the Pack. And still, she couldn’t see accepting his advances and moving into his home. Silver knew without question that her father would approve of the pairing. If Nick happened to show up tomorrow, the men of the Pack would most probably hunt him down and kill him. There wasn’t a place for him here, and Silver wondered if there remained a place for him within her life. He’d forever live in her heart, but as she matured, she thought she needed more within life. Finding one’s mate became more than what one simply wanted. Love wasn’t all lightning bolts and insane passion. She also had to take into account the best choice for her in the long term.
It all sounded so logical in her head. Too bad her heart wasn’t listening.
In the city, Silver hadn’t given much thought to the fall season. Growing up, it signified the time to go back to school, and the coming of winter. On the other hand, spring meant warmer temperatures and that summer was fast approaching. Fall did contain one of her favorite holidays, Halloween. Sadly, there wasn’t much trick-or-treating out in the wilderness.
Immersed with the forest, Silver noticed all the changes: small and large. Small animals collected their supplies for when the offerings would decrease. While the trees shed their foliage, some grassy areas experienced a re-growth after the hot summer months. The last of the flowers burst with life, adding some pleasing color to the landscape.
Maybe it was simply the environment she was in, but right now had suddenly become her favorite time of year. No wonder they celebrated with a ceremony, and then many mated for the cold winter months. Nothing like companionship and another’s body to keep one warm.
Once Silver got the hang of the physical motions of stringing the leaves together, her hands moved on their own accord, and she was able to chat with Jana, and take in the preparations of the others.
One group of women were in the finishing touches of laying out an absolute banquet, complete with fresh-baked breads, fruit salad, and assorted other platters. The men were off in another location getting the meats ready. They planned to smoke some and roast others.
“Tell me some of the others you think might pair off for the winter,” Silver said.
“You mean besides you and Viktor?” Jana bumped her shoulder against Silver’s for emphasis.
“Jana. That’s enough on that subject. Nothing’s happened between us, and I don’t expect anything to happen between us.” At least, not yet, she added mentally. Aside from that one kiss, he hadn’t exhibited any direct come-ons to Silver. If anything, she thought she annoyed him with her talk of another man: Nick. Sure, she caught him staring at her a few times, but Jana must be reading the signals wrong. If Viktor truly was interested in her, he sure was keeping his distance. The question for herself was, though, did she want him to try?
* * * *
“She seems to be integrating into the tribe pretty well,” Dominick said.
“Who?” Viktor said, looking up from the carving station.
“Silver. The she-wolf you stare at constantly.”
“Has she? I haven’t really noticed. I was thinking about if there was anything else we need to do to get ready for the festival.”
“Dude, you may be lying to yourself, but you’re not fooling me at all. If you’re not interested, maybe I’ll try to tap that myself,” Dominick said.
“You will not approach her,” Viktor growled at his friend, and instantly became ashamed of himself. Where did that come from? “I mean, she is the leader’s daughter, and it would not be advised to do anything untoward to her.”
“Yeah, uh-huh, right. I fully get your meaning. I’m sure Nathaniel is considering potential mates, and I’ve got as good as a lineage as any of the other contenders. In fact, if we mate, our family would come together even more.”
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and Viktor gripped the knife with his hand tightly. Silver possessed something certainly special, but he wasn’t quite convinced yet that she was cut out for this environment. She’d been pampered her entire life living in a city. How could she survive in this wilderness for long? Soon enough, she’d want to escape for a spa day, and where would that leave the male mated to her?
She seemed more trouble than worthwhile.
“And here I thought you were interested in Jana.” Viktor gave it right back. “So
has that longtime crush finally passed? Or are you finally going to man up and do something about it?”
“I don’t think my mother would approve. You know how she is. Whenever she catches me even thinking about Jana, she twists in that knowledge that Jana is ‘infertile,’ you know, because she hasn’t shifted yet.”
“And? Is that all you want with a mate? I thought you really liked Jana.”
“I do. Well, at least I think I do. It’s not like we’ve spent a great bit of time together or anything. But she’s kind and sweet and quite attractive.”
Viktor looked over at the two women sitting together. He’d known Jana his entire life, and she often felt more like a sister to him than a potential mate. Because of that, it was hard to think of her as being attractive, especially while sitting next to Silver, who was simply luminescent. It was as if all the light from the sun and the moon stored up within her body, and she glowed with the reserves. If he touched her, would that shimmer wipe off onto him?
“Ouch.” Viktor stabbed his thumb with the serving fork hard enough to draw blood. At his exclamation, Silver met his eye contact and a thrill surged through him. If he had the opportunity, would he turn down bedding her? No way. Did he think there was a potential long-term commitment? No way. She reserved something within herself. Even when she laughed, it felt like she held something back, as if fearful of getting too close to others.
Definitely short term. She’d probably last until the dead of winter, then skedaddle when it got really cold. A lot of people enjoyed being in the great outdoors. Not many people liked feeling the full brunt force of winter.
* * * *
“See, he’s watching you again,” Jana said.
“Right, and now he’s sucking on his thumb. I inspire him to revert back to being a baby.”
“Maybe you should kiss it and make it feel all better.”
“And I think you should think about kissing Dominick and stop mooning all over him.”
“Ain’t never gonna happen,” Jana said. “You have a better chance of hooking up with Dom than I do.”
“Ewww. He’s like my brother.”
“You’re not related by blood or anything. His mother married your father, and you two didn’t even grow up together. Perfectly acceptable in wolf communities.”
“Well, I’m not going there,” Silver said. “My brother Trevor is blood, and Dominick looks way too much like him for me to be comfortable going there. Plus, as my stepbrother, I wouldn’t feel right. Anyway, we’re not talking me, here. I’m not on the market or looking for a mate. Got that?”
“Sure, I do, and that’s usually when people find someone, right? When they’re not looking.”
As Nick would say, “true, dat.” How easily Silver heard him within her mind. To her, it meant they were still close. Despite him setting her “free” to experience whatever she wanted on this trip, she didn’t think she’d be able to fully commit to another person. That simply was what one person told another in this situation, right? Kind of like going off to college, and facing a long-distance relationship. Who knew where they would be at the end of this journey?
Chapter Seven
After a full month had passed since Silver had left New Orleans, Nick couldn’t take waiting any longer. In the room they once shared, he packed, lingering on a blue scarf she’d left behind. He’d taken to sleeping with it, convinced her musky scent clung to the silky fabric.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Trevor asked.
Nick shook his head. “You’ve got a lot going on here, new pup and all,” he teased. Trevor’s son, Lowell, had all the adults in the household wrapped around his little paw. Nick liked to give Trevor a hard time. It kept the atmosphere lighter. Neither of them wanted to think about the reasons why Silver might not have returned home. Or the fact that she might not want to.
“Will you take the cell phone and at least check in?” Trevor asked.
It was certainly more than Silver had done. Once she’d walked out the door, it was as if she hadn’t existed. A vacuum of loneliness sucked at Nick’s soul. The only thing he thought would make him feel full again would be finding her. When she was there, he didn’t quite understand how much he’d come to depend upon her—even her energy and life. Once gone, the deficiency became apparent. He needed her as a distraction in his life.
Since he’d become a vampire, a darkness clung to his soul. Doomed to roam only at night, the lightness of Silver balanced him out. She kept him sane. Without her, he was lost.
“I’ll do my best. Not sure how much access I’ll have to power and electricity,” Nick explained.
“Well, Lawrence bought one of these for you,” Trevor said, holding out another square device. “It’s a solar battery. Just charge the phone into this baby, and you’ll be good to go.”
Nick blinked at the idea. Solar—the energy of the sun, and him a vampire, unable to enjoy the rays.
As if he’d figured out Nick’s hesitation, Trevor glanced at the object in his hands. “Maybe when you go down for your day-sleep, you can leave it somewhere to charge.”
They made eye contact, and some sort of awareness passed between them. As the boyfriend of Trevor’s sister, Nick balanced on shaky ground. With Silver gone, there really wasn’t a reason he should continue to live in the home above Pages. Well, there was his connection with Lawrence, his sire. Even more than a year after being turned into a vampire, Lawrence watched him with a wary attentiveness, as if he was afraid that any moment, Nick would turn rogue.
He swallowed down a lump of disgust lodged in his throat. He’d rather die than cause harm to come to others. As a former vampire hunter, Nick had dispatched of plenty of creatures of the night over his existence. Now, though, he questioned some of those kills. Damn. Not all could have been evil. Some could have been like Law, and well, himself.
“Sure you want to go through with this?” Trevor asked, bringing him back to reality.
“I need to. I can’t leave her out there, not knowing if she’s all right.”
Trevor seemed to understand. “I’m worried, too, but we’ve been training together. She’s a strong woman, more than she shows.”
Although Trevor was related to Silver by blood, Nick actually knew her better, and for longer. Their little family reunion had only taken place a few years before. Nick met her as a determined preteen, anxious to grow up and come into her own. A natural vitality bubbled beneath the surface of her personality. Try as her adopted family might to hold her back, that curiosity grew until she reached legal age and could go out in search of her natural family ancestry. That same desire for knowledge fueled this trip, Nick understood. She wanted to find her father and confront him for deserting her all those years ago.
Some people never found the answers they searched for. He was more worried about the other dangers along the way. Damn, he should never have let her go. Then again, she didn’t leave him with much choice. It was a journey she wanted to make, alone.
Nick grabbed the cell phone and portable charger, adding them to his carryall. He shouldered the bag, testing the weight. As a vampire he could carry more than a human. Still, he had no idea how far he’d have to travel, and where he’d be able to store his stuff. How much did he need, anyway?
He crossed the room and opened the bottom dresser drawer, where he kept his neglected hunting supplies. The weight of the wooden stake felt at home in his hand. He started carving stakes at the tender age of thirteen. The initiation of his first killing—one he’d rather not remember now. He added two more deadly slivers of wood, and a serrated hunting knife.
Forget the holy water. With his luck, the vial would break and he’d end up burning himself.
A heaviness settled over his heart. He wished things remained the same. Status quo wasn’t all that bad. They could live happily enough together. With a sigh he didn’t need to breath
e, he resettled the bag and gave Trevor a pat on the back.
“Take care of that little man, will you?”
“Sure thing.”
The cheeriness of the living room brought down Nick’s mood even more. Lily hummed as she fiddled with something in the kitchen, and Lowell banged on his fists on the table.
Upon seeing Nick, the tot gurgled with happiness, and splashed his hands in the spilled goop. From the fluorescent orange color, Nick guessed butternut squash or carrots. Lily turned toward them, seeing way more than the average person.
“Well, it looks like someone’s really going to miss his Uncle Nickie, isn’t he?”
He cringed at the nickname, but the lopsided grin showing off a few freshly cut teeth tore into Nick’s heart. He mussed the boy’s blond hair that stood up just like his father’s. Although he was only nine months old, he appeared to be closer to three years. Already walking—no, running—Lowell continued to grow at an accelerated pace. By the time Nick returned from this journey, who knew how old he would appear?
“We’re going to miss you,” Lily said, hugging him. He took in her warmth and soft curves. She’d always been welcoming to him, even though she might not have always trusted him. Even as a hunter, once he got to know Trevor and Lawrence, it wasn’t like he was going to take out his girlfriend’s brother and their family.
He’d protect them with his life.
“Is Lawrence downstairs?” Nick asked.
Lily blinked away tears and smiled, a quiver pulling at the corner of her mouth. “Yes, and no sneaking out the back way to avoid him, either. He said to make sure you went down and said a proper goodbye.” She gave him another quick hug and a peck on the cheek. “Don’t stay away long, and bring Silver home.”
“I mean to,” he said.