by Abbi Glines
“Why are you here?” I asked. I needed to know. If this was all about the sex I couldn’t say that I wasn’t going to still have sex with him, because I liked it. No. I loved it. He was addictive. But I needed to prepare my heart and emotions.
“Because you are,” he replied.
That didn’t make sense.
“I don’t understand that,” I told him.
Grant squeezed my hand. “I screwed up with you. I got scared and I screwed up. So I ran because I’m good at running. I always fucking run from things. But when I saw you standing in that kitchen at Nan’s I realized this time I didn’t want to run. I wanted to stay. I just needed the guts to do it. You’re worth fighting demons for.”
I sat there, unable to think of a response to that. Grant Carter was known for his looks, his sexy body, tattoos, and smooth talking. That was no secret. I’d heard the rumors and experienced the smooth talking more than once.
As much as I wanted to believe what he was saying, I was a smart girl. I had been burned already. Grandmama always used to say, Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I tried to live by that motto. But Grant made it hard.
“I don’t trust you. I may never be able to trust you again. But I do like you. You make me smile when I need it. I don’t want to keep you at arm’s length, because I want more of . . . well, you know. I just can’t promise you that I’ll ever get over the past.”
Grant didn’t reply right away, and I wondered if he was going to tell me to take a hike, that I wasn’t worth this. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I was more high-maintenance than he first assumed.
“You’ll trust me again” was all he said. His hand never left mine and I didn’t argue with him. There was no point.
•
Mase called me when we were right outside Vegas. His mom had called and his stepfather had broken his leg falling off the tractor. He had just left Texas on a commercial plane back to Rosemary to get his truck and go home. He had wanted to wait for me, but he said his mother sounded tired and worried. He needed to get her some help, then he’d be back for me. He sounded upset and questioned me about how I was after seeing Emily. I assured him that I was okay and Grant was with me. That hadn’t eased his mind. “You need to be careful with that one. Let me bring you to Texas with me. I can help Mom and take care of you.”
He had meant well, but I wasn’t moving to Texas. Not now. I was ready to see where this thing with Grant was going first. I explained that I wanted to stay in Rosemary and if I needed him I would call. But I wanted him to stay with his mom and stepfather for right now. He seemed mollified by that and said he’d be back to Rosemary as soon as he could to check on me.
Grant had seemed silently pleased with Mase’s departure. I didn’t comment on that, though. Dean had apologized to me for telling me everything the way he had. I had hugged him and assured him it was okay. I needed to know, and I was glad I had witnessed Dad with Mom. I would never have believed it if I hadn’t. However, Grant didn’t speak to Dean, and I found that odd.
Once we were on the jet headed back to Rosemary, it dawned on me that I hadn’t slept in more than twenty hours. Grant seemed to read my mind. He took my arm and led me back to the bedroom and began taking off my shoes.
“Lie down,” he said in a husky whisper, and I did. I wasn’t about to argue.
He slipped off his boots and crawled up behind me and pulled me against his chest. We didn’t talk, but we didn’t need to. This just felt right. My eyes closed and I let the exhaustion of the day take over.
Grant
We slept the entire flight home. On the drive back to Nan’s house, I stopped and got us coffee and sausage biscuits at an all-night drive-through. Harlow looked adorable and rumpled, and I was having a hard time looking at the road and not her.
Pulling into the driveway, I was instantly annoyed to see Nan’s car. Sure, it was the middle of the night and this was her house, but I’d been hoping she wasn’t there so I could crawl into Harlow’s bed with her and go back to sleep without its being an issue.
I parked the truck and turned it off then looked over at Harlow.
“I’m gonna shoot it to you straight. I want to go inside and get back in bed with you and finish sleeping. I don’t give a fuck that Nan lives here.”
Harlow glanced at the house then down at her hands and sighed. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. She won’t handle it well if she sees you’re here with me.”
I reached over and grabbed her chin so she would have to look me in the eyes. “I don’t care what she does or says. I won’t let her hurt you. And I’m not going to let her control this.”
“But you were just in her bed a week ago,” she said. The pain in her eyes as she reminded not only me but herself made me hate myself.
“I was drunk and stupid. It didn’t mean anything. With you, it always means something.”
Harlow gave me a small smile and opened the door to my truck. “I guess this is going to get back to her eventually. We might as well not hide anything,” she said and stepped down.
I didn’t wait for her to change her mind. I grabbed my bag and hers and got out of the truck.
She glanced back at me as she climbed the steps and I enjoyed the view of her ass in those tight jeans.
“Are you gonna sleep in your boxers?” she asked.
I hadn’t thought of that. I shrugged. “Yeah, probably.”
She smiled. “Good. I like the way you look in boxers,” she said, then finished walking up the stairs.
Yeah, I was smiling, but I was also thinking about what she was going to sleep in. Suddenly, sleep was the last thing on my mind.
Harlow opened the door and we walked inside. I could tell she was trying to be quiet, but honestly, I didn’t give a shit. Unless Nan came out screaming and ruined my chance to see Harlow in those cute little pajamas I’d seen her in the first day.
When we got to Harlow’s room she closed and locked the door, then glanced over at me. “I need to take a shower and get the travel off. I feel yucky.”
“I need one, too,” I replied, and opened the door leading into the bathroom for her. She paused and looked at the door, then me.
“Are we . . . are you going to . . .” she stopped and I fought to keep from laughing.
“Sweet girl, if your sexy ass is getting in a shower in the very next room, I’m getting in it, too. That’s a sight I don’t intend to miss.”
Harlow looked unsure, and I wondered what was wrong now.
“I . . . that seems so revealing and personal. I don’t know if I can do it.”
Would she always make me want to laugh? God, I hoped so. Even if she wasn’t so perfectly packaged, her being so damn adorable would be enough. “Baby, I’ve had you naked and spread out open for me on a bathroom counter with my head between your legs. It doesn’t get any more personal than that.”
She ducked her head and I heard a soft laugh. “Yeah, I guess you have a point.”
“Hell yeah, I have a point. Now get in there and get naked so I can help wash you,” I told her.
She stepped into the bathroom and I followed her. I didn’t even try to hide the fact I was watching her take off every damn stitch of her clothes. It was something that would never get old.
“Are you going to wash my back for me?” she asked with a teasing tone in her voice as she stepped out of her jeans.
I grinned and pulled my shirt off. “Sure, I’ll wash your back. But I’m also washing those nice big tits and that pussy I’m such a fan of.”
She closed her eyes tightly. “I hate it when you call it that.”
Laughing, I let my jeans drop and went to turn the shower on. The prim and proper thing was part of her sexiness. Knowing I could get Miss Prim and Proper to do things like lick my come off her fingers was hot.
I turned back around to see her standing behind me, looking at my bare ass. She had her arms wrapped around her chest—as if that covered anything.
�
�It’s warm, come on.” I held out my hand and she stepped forward and slipped hers in mine, letting her breasts free. They bounced and my cock was at full attention.
“Harlow,” I said.
“Yes?”
“I’m gonna fuck you in this shower. If I don’t, we won’t get any sleep in that bed.”
Her breathing picked up and that was all I needed. “I don’t know how to do that.”
“Oh, trust me, baby. I know exactly how to do it.”
She tensed and turned toward the water so her back was toward me. What the hell had I done now?
I placed my hands on her arms to keep from putting them in other places. “What is it?”
She shrugged and stepped farther into the water and tilted her head up to let the warm stream pour over her face and hair. I forgot what I was doing for a moment. I just watched in fascination. I was pretty damn sure I could spend the rest of my life standing right here and watching this.
When she stepped back and ran her hands down her hair, I grabbed her and pulled her back against me. “I don’t speak silent, Harlow. I need you to tell me what’s wrong. Your back is rigid and your body is telling me something’s wrong.”
I was expecting more silent Harlow.
“Maybe I don’t like to be reminded about the fact you’ve had sex with a lot of other girls before you had sex with me.”
Well, hell.
I’d never thought of that.
No girl had ever cared before.
I was an ass.
I turned her around to face me. Her wet eyelashes stuck together and water dripped from her smooth skin. I’d made her insecure. I never wanted to do that. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t think anything of it, but I understand why you’re upset. I can’t change my past,” I told her, reaching up to touch her face because I couldn’t stop myself any longer. “But you’re different. This thing we’re doing is different.”
She pressed her lips together and tilted her head into my hand like a kitten. “I just hate not knowing what to do. Being with you is amazing but you’re all I know. I have no experience so I have no idea how to do things to make you feel good. I can’t compete with your past.”
She really had no clue. I pulled her against me. “God, Harlow. You’re going to kill me,” I said, holding her while I tried to get my emotions together. “Sex is a way to get pleasure. It never meant anything more to me. Just a way to feel good. I didn’t put anything else into it. I just gave and took what I needed. And maybe when I first saw you that’s all I wanted. At that engagement party I got a look at those legs of yours and I wanted you naked and under me. I won’t lie. But then I got to know you. I saw something precious that I wanted to taste. I wanted to hold it and I wanted to touch the special that I saw there.” I pulled back and looked down at her. “When I was inside you for the first time I realized I had found something I’d never felt, and it was terrifying. The pleasure wasn’t shallow and I wasn’t untouched. Something inside me turned over and I became addicted. To you. I don’t have any other explanation for you right now. But never compare yourself to anyone else I’ve ever been with because you’re all I want and all I see.”
Harlow didn’t respond. Instead, she pressed a kiss to my chest and continued to press kisses until she was on her knees in front of me. She looked up at me through wet lashes. “I don’t know how, but this is all I’ve been able to think about since that car ride.”
I was pretty damn sure I had forgotten how to inhale. Her hands held me and she squeezed just the way I’d taught her to. “Anything you do will be fucking perfect,” I rasped out.
My plan had been to wash her body and send her into a crazed frenzy with my hands before I pressed her against the wall and slid back inside her. But she wanted to suck my dick. How did I get this? Her? What did I ever do right to get this kind of reward? Harlow wasn’t meant for guys like me.
All thought left the moment her lips pulled me in and she began to suck as if she knew exactly what she was doing. There was no pattern or rhythm to it. She just took me in her mouth like I was a treat and she was enjoying herself. I didn’t instruct her. Hell, I was afraid to. I wanted inside her, and if she got any better that wasn’t happening in the shower.
She licked the head and looked up at me, smiling. “Is this okay?” she asked.
I realized I was holding my breath and sucked in some air. “No fantasy I’ve ever had can compare to how this feels.”
She opened her mouth and started to pull it back into her mouth. But I couldn’t let her do that right now. I wanted inside. I’d be more than willing to let her have at it another time for as long as she wanted, or until I blew.
“Up,” I told her, reaching down. She let it pop out of her mouth and I groaned. She stood up, frowning at me as if she wasn’t sure what was going on. I grabbed her face and covered her mouth with mine. The musky taste on her lips made my pulse beat faster. That was me. She tasted like me.
I grabbed her hips and pressed her against the wall and spread her legs before sinking into her tight warmth.
“Oh, God!” she cried out, grabbing my arms.
I picked her up and began to pump in and out of her while she moaned and begged for more. The little uptight Harlow was gone when she was like this. She was my wild, sweet girl. When she raised her knee and wrapped a leg around my waist and clawed at my back, I knew she was close.
I wasn’t wearing a fucking condom. Shit!
Harlow screamed my name and grabbed on as she found her release. I let her ride it out while grinding my teeth and holding back. When she started squeezing my dick with her tight little hole, I pulled out and covered her thighs with my release.
She was still holding on to me but she went still as the warmth of my come ran down her legs. Her eyes lifted to mine and went wide. She was just now realizing we had done this without protection. But I’d pulled out in time and I knew I was clean.
“I’m clean. I swear. I get checked regularly and I always wear a condom.”
“You’re sure?” she asked, still standing very still.
“Very sure.”
“I didn’t realize, but it felt different. Better.”
God, yes, it had felt like fucking nirvana. I had never had sex without a condom. I had no idea this was what all the fuss was about. Holy hell, I wanted that again.
“Let me wash you,” I told her, stepping back.
She immediately looked down at her legs and then back up at me. A small smile touched her lips. “I feel kind of marked.”
I stopped reaching for the soap and stared at her. Had she really just said that? “If you like being marked then I’ll mark you any damn time you want me to,” I told her before taking the soap. “Turn around. I’ll start with your back,” I instructed.
Harlow
When I opened my eyes Grant’s arm was wrapped around me and I was nice and warm, tucked against his chest. I glanced at my closed door. The clock beside the bed said it was after eleven in the morning. Nan would be awake by now. Was I ready to face this?
“Stop thinking so hard,” Grant mumbled sleepily.
He wasn’t at all worried about Nan. I didn’t understand their relationship at all. If I was smart I wouldn’t be snuggled up in bed with someone who had any kind of relationship with Nan. But having the willpower to ignore Grant’s sexy smile and smooth-talking ways was almost impossible.
“I won’t let her do anything to hurt you,” Grant said into my hair.
That wasn’t what I was worried about. I could take on Nan if I had to. I was more concerned with making a choice that would eventually break my heart. Could I love Grant? Was I falling in love with him? Was it fair for me to love him?
Yes. I was positive I could love him. But I wasn’t in love with him right now. This was simply attraction, and possibly a crush. He flashed his smile and I did dumb things. That would be considered a crush, right? And if he wasn’t in love with me then would it hurt for me to love him? Even if h
e didn’t know my secret yet?
“Turn around and look at me,” Grant said, letting his tight hold on me go so I could actually move.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I don’t like where your head is. I need to fix it,” he replied.
He had no idea where my head was. And he really needed to get over wanting to fix everything for me.
“I’m not worried about Nan,” I told him. Okay, maybe I was a little. I didn’t like confrontations, and the one I had waiting on me when we left this room was going to be dramatic.
“Then why are you so quiet?”
“I’m trying to figure out what we’re doing. If I’m headed for possible heartache in the future,” I replied honestly. There was no reason to lie to him. I wasn’t one for pretenses.
“Turn around,” Grant growled, pulling my arms around him this time.
This was a bad idea. His face looked even better all sleepy. His eyes weren’t fully awake, which only made his long lashes more obvious. And his hair was all messy. Made a girl want to run her hands through it.
“I don’t do relationships. Closest I got was with Nan, and that was because she was so damn needy. I liked being needed. No one ever needed me. She did. But then she was also crazy as fuck and heartless, and that ended things for me. So what you and I are doing right here is a first for me. I’ve never wanted to wake up and cuddle with a female in my life. I’ve never missed her when she wasn’t around. You’re all I can think about, Harlow. Where I’m headed is new to me, but I damn well want to go there as long as that’s where you’ll be. You’re worried about getting hurt, but I don’t think you understand yet that you’re holding all the damn cards, sweet girl. All the damn cards.”