by MV Kasi
Even when her daughter was born, she had desperately prayed that she wouldn't inherit her nose. But over the years, with the love of her husband, family and friends, she stopped being so conscious of her nose and her height.
"Hey Woody, do you and that nerdy brother of yours sew your own ill-fitting clothes each year?"
"This is where you belong, Woody. Next to a bathroom. You'll eat your lunch here from now on, until I tell you otherwise. Do you understand me?"
"Our dear formerly virtuous Woody Woodpecker has gotten pregnant with my forty year old neighbor's love child."
"Girls, our dear Woody here is madly in love with my boyfriend. Did you know she uses her big eyes to make lovey-dovey expressions at him? Guess what? It's creeping him out. We pity you and laugh at you Woody. Your life is pathetic."
All the taunts and jeering that Mahi made towards Ananya during their college sat heavily between them.
After a momentary shock, Ananya composed herself and continued forward towards the breakfast nook. "Hello Mahi. How have you been?" she asked politely.
*****
Mahi felt too stunned to answer right away because the person enquiring politely was someone who had every right to hate her. She almost expected Ananya to drag her out of the chair by her hair and then throw her out of the house.
Somehow she managed to find her voice. "Hello Ananya. I'm doing...fine. How are you?"
"Pretty good actually. Life has been good these past fourteen years."
There was an unspoken 'without you around' lingering in the air between them.
An awkward silence ensued and Samrat broke it by asking, "Do you need anything Anu? Or is this a casual visit?"
The affection in his voice made Mahi remember exactly why she had made Ananya's life a living hell in the first place. The reasoning was unfair. But she had always felt that Ananya was handed everything, without any effort.
Unlike her own indifferent dad, hypercritical mother and a brother who wanted nothing to do with her or her problems, Ananya had a perfect family. She had parents who doted on her. And also a brother who loved her and protected her.
Mahi often saw and heard their interactions from across the street. Ananya's mother was very openly affectionate and often spoke proudly of her daughter to everyone in the neighborhood. Ananya's father was a quiet, unassuming man who spent a lot of time with his daughter, often playing chess on their rooftop terrace, or simply reading his newspaper next to her while she studied.
Ananya's relationship with her brother was the most fascinating. She had often seen both Ananya and Samrat in his room, talking for long hours, or Samrat tutoring his sister during the exams. The love and affection the siblings had for each other was quite apparent even from a distance.
Mahi had often felt like a poor starving kid whose nose was stuck to a glass window of a sweet shop, staring longingly at something that was way beyond the reach. And her mother hadn't helped the matters by constantly comparing how 'fair complexioned', 'decently dressed', 'good' and 'accomplished' Ananya was than her in everything.
Even after almost fourteen years, she still felt slightly jealous, but she didn't feel the necessity to inflict harm or lash out on anyone because of it. And she could see that Ananya was no longer the painfully awkward and shy teenager anymore. Ananya had a quiet dignity and poise about her that made Mahi ashamed of how she had caused so much heartache and humiliation to Ananya during those three years.
Ananya pulled out a small box from a bag. "Just a casual visit. I made carrot halwa and thought I'd get some since it's one of your favorites," she said, opening the lid.
Something shiny caught Mahi's attention. It was a large pink diamond ring on Ananya's finger.
The very same one that had been in Sidhu's family for generations.
"Oh my god!! I'll have to marry you for that gorgeous rare pink diamond wedding ring," she had told Sidhu after he showed her the pictures from his family albums.
"Once it's passed on to us, I'm going to get it engraved with our initials M and S." Sidhu had promised with a loving kiss.
"Won't our next generations mind? Pfft...Our children and grandchildren will learn to live with it. Besides who cares? They'll have to pry it from my dead fingers," she had said, laughing.
Mahi was shocked, and kept staring at the ring while Ananya opened the box and placed it on the table.
Samrat smiled at his sister. "Smells great Anu." He took a bite and then several more. "It's pretty good."
He looked at Mahi. "Would you like to try some before it's all gone? Ananya is a fantastic cook," he offered politely.
Mahi looked at him blankly and then at the ring. When she looked up at Ananya, she could see the slight satisfaction on her face. Mahi didn't know, whether it was because of the significance of the ring or the compliments that Samrat was showering on the cooking.
Sidhu married Ananya.
That thought kept swimming in Mahi's head, shocking her senseless. She knew Sidhu would be married. But to Ananya of all the people?
They weren't even of the same caste to think it was an arranged match. Didn't Sidhu leave for his Master’s degree in the U.S as planned? Maybe Ananya stayed in touch with him through emails and they fell in love. But Sidhu had no clue of Ananya's existence in college, except maybe as someone his then girlfriend humiliated insistently. Then how?
Samrat and Ananya were staring at her, waiting for her to respond.
"I-I'm sure it tastes great...But I'm really full and...really tired from my journey...Maybe some other time. I need to get back home. I've got a lot of chores to complete...Nice seeing you both again," Mahi rambled out and stood up.
She put her plate in the sink and muttered a quick, "Bye," and all but ran out from the kitchen and then the house.
*****
Samrat was quiet for a few seconds. "Anu...Mahi was—"
Ananya shook her head slightly with a smile. "No need to explain anything. I was just surprised seeing her after so many years."
Samrat sighed. He knew his sister well. "I had to talk to her about some land acquisitions. Are you okay, Anu?" he asked gently.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be? We are all mature grownups here. Anyway, speaking of acting mature, did Srishti talk to you recently? She's been driving us mad at home with her tantrums. There are complaints from her school as well. I'm heading there next to meet with her teachers. Any idea what's going on with her? She shares such things with you sometimes."
Samrat knew Ananya was changing the topic, but he was more than willing to take up the offer. "Not really. But I've asked Srishti to join my company during the summer holidays as an intern. That should keep her occupied and she'll learn more about responsibility too. And besides, she's pretty good at computers and has always been curious about my inventions."
Ananya smiled. "That's great. I don't know why I haven't thought of it before. Her school ends in mid-April and she can join as an intern during her summer holidays."
He nodded. "Good. She seemed excited about it and wanted to ask your permission before she accepted the offer."
Ananya scoffed. "I'm surprised she didn't just accept it and is even bothering to wait for our permission. She has been disappearing into her room and not showing up until after dinner time. And if she does make it to dinner, the whole table is like a warzone. Anyway...thanks for letting me know. I need to get going now."
"Okay. Just give me a minute," he said and began clearing the plates and dishes from the table and Ananya helped him.
Soon, Ananya got into her car. "Okay then. I'll talk to you later," she said and drove away.
Samrat felt guilty. He did not like that feeling at all. He hurt his sister's feelings. And that too because of Mahi.
Even though he always gave everyone a benefit of doubt and didn't judge people by their past, in Mahi's case, he did judge. And most of it was because he had a strong sense of familial duty. For his sister's sake he'll have to keep Mahi at a distance.
Apart from their business transactions, he didn't want anything to do with her.
Oh yes, for Anu's sake and not because the sight of Mahi's bare legs stirred you up, his mind taunted him, making him curse viciously for the second time in less than three hours.
CHAPTER 7
Mahi was on her bed trying to relax, but couldn't get the fact that Ananya was married to Sidhu.
Not even in her wildest dreams, did she ever imagine that happening. And she had mixed feelings about how she felt.
On one hand she wanted Sidhu to be ecstatically happy in his life, but on the other hand, her very human heart felt a slight betrayal that it was Ananya he had chosen to spend his life with.
Tall, shy and awkward Ananya with her perfect family now had a perfect husband to add to the mix. A husband who would never raise a hand at her in anger, or humiliate her by calling her worthless in front of anyone. A husband who would never leave the side of his heartbroken wife.
"One role...you had one effing role as a woman and you can't even do that right. You are a pathetic worthless piece of shit."
That had been Dinesh's reaction after Mahi had told him about her third miscarriage.
If not perfect parents or a husband, she wished she could bond with her only sibling. During her childhood, she had adored her brother until she was ten. They just had a four year age gap, but somehow could never connect. She had blindly worshipped him, even when he got irritated with her following him around, begging him to include her in his play.
Their parents had never treated them equally; she had always felt like a second class citizen right from a young age. Most of the time she felt as though she was simply there as a prop to fulfill the requirement of having two children, making up a typical Indian family of four. Her grades didn't matter. Whether she came first or last, she was met with the same disinterest from her father or heavy criticism from her mother.
Sometimes, she purposely got into trouble at school and at college to get a reaction from both of them, which her overly dramatic mother did, but never her father. She had craved their attention and approval for several years, until her resentment festered and bubbled over, creating a monster during her teens and in her early twenties.
Most people remembered their youth fondly, but she cringed at most of her memories.
She sat up slowly on the bed and wondered for the hundredth time whether the decision to start over in India was the right one. Her parents and brother thought she was a fool, wanting to return to India. Not that they were supportive in any of the major decisions she wanted to take in her life.
She recalled her mother's words from nearly five years ago when she told them she was divorcing Dinesh who had been abusive to her right from the beginning of their marriage.
"You are a fool to leave your husband at your age when you no longer look desirable. You have put on weight and I'm sure your body is messed up like your face. I am telling you that you are making a huge mistake. Beg your husband to take you back and tell him you have changed your mind."
And when Mahi had firmly said, "No," her mother tried to lay down the ultimatum. "Fine. Leave your husband and live like a middle-aged social pariah. It is your life. But don't come crying to me or your brother after you realize how you will be treated in the society.”
But it was her father's words after she told him about the move to India that hurt the most.
"Mahi, I am no longer surprised by anything you do or the commotion you cause. I stopped being surprised a long time ago. You can never disappoint me…because I never expect anything of you.”
His indifference was much more devastating than simply being critical like her mother. Now she was no longer resentful about her parents all the time, since she had made peace with the fact that they didn’t care or would never care.
Shaking her head, Mahi reminded herself again not to mope over the past. A fresh new beginning was what she wanted and she would seize it even if it killed her.
The doorbell rang and she checked her watch to see that it was already one in the afternoon. Even though she had barely relaxed from the past thirty six hours, she felt happy and looked forward to rest of the day.
When she opened the door, a handsome man was standing in front of her, making a strong emotion rise within her.
"Oh my god Rajeev! Look at you. All grown up and so handsome and so accomplished!" She hugged him on the doorstep and then pulled him inside.
Rajeev was smiling, and he had the same sweet smile as he did since the last time she saw him, when he was eight years old. "Mahi akka, you look great too. You haven't changed much over the past fourteen years. You look even better now."
"Oh please. You still have the same charming flattery I see. It got me to buy you sweets and toys even though your mother warned me not to," Mahi reminded him affectionately.
Rajeev laughed, probably remembering how he was able to manipulate her when he was young, and she had always indulged him, even though she knew he was putting on a show.
"How is Kamala aunty doing? And when can I see her? I spoke to her a few days ago before I started," she enquired worriedly.
"She's doing fine. Thank god for that. Although, it's not completely over yet. She still has to go through a few more surgeries before she can fight back the cancer completely. I'm really thankful for your help during these difficult times. I-I don't know what I would have done otherwise."
"Don't be silly Rajeev. You are family, and the only part of the family I genuinely and dearly love. You've no idea how Kamala aunty took care of me, even when I drove her nuts. What I did in return doesn't even cover a portion of that debt."
Rajeev's mother was Mahi's aunt. Her father's widowed sister who had come to live with them when her husband had died in an accident on his farm. Her aunt had been pregnant at that time and her brother was the only family she had who could take care of her.
Not that her aunt was exactly taken care of the way anyone would imagine. Mahi's mother treated her like a glorified servant and cook who would earn her keep to remain in the household. Even Mahi had treated her aunt indifferently during the first few months and never defended her during one of her mother's rages or criticism.
But after Rajeev was born, Mahi fell in love with him the moment she saw him when he was just a day old. Even though she had no idea how sibling love felt like, she felt fiercely protective about him. She had taught him his first words, some of them naughty, receiving a lot of flak from her parents and her aunt.
She even played with him and spent time teaching him to read and write when he didn't go to a play school. He had been the oldest in his U.K.G class when he joined their neighborhood school at the age of seven. But he was the brightest kid and smart as a whip. The fact that he got an admission into an IIT to do his Computer engineering and then into ISB for his MBA made her as proud as his mother.
"But you already put money towards my schooling and higher education, even though you didn't have to," said Rajeev guiltily.
"What did I tell you before? Don't bother about the expenses, and your mother barely used my money. Just worry about getting a good job soon."
"I know I will get a good job as soon as I'm done with my finals. And I promise to repay you for everything," he told her determined.
"Rajeev, stop. Don't. It's not like I worked too hard for that money or am broke. It was the money I inherited from my grandmother. It was sitting in my account for a long time, and what best way to use it than on someone's education or helping someone you love."
Her grandparents on her father's side had passed away when she was way too young, so she never knew them or remembered them. Her mother's mother had been a force to reckon with. Her grandmother had been widowed after five years of marriage and had to single handedly raise her two children.
Her grandmother had been very progressive for her generation and had managed to make a fledgling business that her husband left behind into something big in the next few years.
Her grand
mother's son and daughter had a very stormy relationship with their mother. She never gave them any money and expected them to work their way up or in case of Mahi's mother, save the money her husband earned.
Her grandmother even had a very rigid will written that divided her money equally amongst her two granddaughters that would be released to them when they turned twenty one. Even after that, the money could not be transferred in large amounts into anyone else's account.
Mahi's mother had been resentful and called her mother a miser and a vengeful person. Mahi had met her grandmother only a handful of times as she never went to the village often, where her grandmother ran a fishing business. But the few times her grandmother visited her, she remembered most of their interactions.
Mahi's grandmother's last words to her before she passed away were eerily significant.
"I might have done a bad job raising both my children, but it was the best I could do at that time. There were a lot of debts on my head, left by a gambling as well as an alcoholic husband. My priority was to first keep the roof over our heads and food in our bellies... Maybe I should have spent more time with my children. Well...your mother is a housewife, but is no ideal mother either.
I am not proud of what you have become now, Mahi, and I can see a disaster written in your future. But people learn from their mistakes, and you are still young. I hope someday you will rise above your mistakes and make me proud.
I remember being just like you when I was your age—self-absorbed and destructive. And then life happened to open up my eyes soon. Just remember to never be scared, and to be a strong woman who can stand on her own feet. Always, and I mean always, remember that you can rely only on yourself and no one else. Whatever money I have left you, use it wisely, either on selfless causes or on your betterment."
Mahi had been nineteen at that time. She was annoyed with her grandmother's assessment and dire predictions. She was so sure that the world around her was simply waiting to be conquered by her. But it didn't happen that way.