by Virna DePaul
“The only reason you think that is because you didn’t do what I had to do. I had to take care of you because he wouldn’t.”
He purses his lips. “Right. And that’s something you have no problem throwing in my face any time it’s convenient.”
“What?” I whisper. “Chad, no. I don’t—I never meant…”
My breath hitches and I fight desperately to regain control.
I’ve always hated fighting with him. With anyone, really. Despite my tough girl exterior, when it comes to things that matter, things that are truly important, I hate conflict. Which makes me feel weak. Which makes me pissed at Chad and myself and just want to run away.
I back away from him. “I have to go.”
“Don’t,” he pleads. “Let’s just talk this out.”
“I can’t be here right now. I can’t be around you right now. I love you, Chad. But I just need to get out of here.”
Swiftly, I exit his bedroom and run out his front door.
Chad follows me as far as the front door, and then he just stands in the doorway watching me leave the same way I watched our father walk away all those years ago.
The difference is I’ll be back. Even though I’m angry, hurt, and disappointed, I love my brother. He can always count on me to come back.
Too bad I don’t inspire the same kind of feelings in others.
I’m not even thinking about my father when I have the thought. I’m thinking of Hunter. I want to see him so bad. Part of me wants to run to him. But that’s bullshit. Because while he hasn’t been bribing Chad with gifts, I can’t forget about Amy’s visit. I can’t trust Hunter.
I can’t trust anyone.
Chapter Nineteen
Hunter
I’m sitting in my office, staring off into space, stewing and angry as hell at Dani even as I’m forcing myself not to call her. Not to go see her.
No matter what I say or do, she’s going to believe whatever the hell she wants to believe, and I refuse to defend myself any longer.
A minute later, I slam my fist on my desk.
Fuck that.
I’m not letting things end this way between us. Not after the way I held her in my arms the last time we were together.
I’m just about to buzz Trisha to tell her I’m headed out when my cell rings. I frown when Chad’s name comes up on Caller ID. “This is Hunter,” I answer. “What’s up?”
“Have you seen Dani?”
“No,” I say shortly. “Not since yesterday.”
“Fuck,” Chad breathes, and I immediately stiffen.
“What’s going on, Chad?”
“I—I fucked up, Hunter.”
“How?” I transfer the phone to my other hand as I rise to my feet to stare out the floor-to-ceiling windows.
“I’ve been receiving gifts, and—”
“Ah right. A new phone and some Lakers tickets. Dani thinks they were from me.”
“Fuck, I almost wish it had been you giving me the gifts. When I told her who… Fuck! The look on her face. It was like I’d stabbed her or something.”
Concern prickled my neck. “Who sent them?”
“The gifts came from our father.”
“Are you shitting me?” I think back to what Chad had told me at the barbeque, how their father was never around. “Don’t you think it’s more than a little convenient that he’s popping back into your life right as you’re potentially about to sign with an agent?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Of course that’s what Dani said too. Right before she ran out of my house. She hasn’t answered her phone since. I’ve tried her apartment. I’ve tried the shop. I can’t get hold of her.”
“I’m sure she’s fine. She probably just needed to get away to think.”
“Time to build another wall around herself you mean. This time, against me. Dad. You. She’s gathering her defenses, and you need to help me get through to her, Hunter.”
I sigh. “Look, Chad. You’re giving me too much credit.”
“You’re not giving yourself enough credit. Because Dani’s falling head over heels for you.”
Wait, what? What's he talking about?
Chad continues. “I fucked up, and she’s going to try to protect herself from all of us. Shut down emotionally. I’ve seen her do it before. The question is, are you going to let her do it again?”
So many thoughts, so little time to process them all. Chad just told me his sister is falling for me. If it's true—or even if it might be true—I need to find her.
I need to tell her I feel the same way.
* * *
After getting off the phone with Chad, I rushed out of my office and got into my car as fast as I could. Something inside me needed to get to Dani as fast as possible so I weaved dangerously in and out of traffic, hoping to beat the evening rush.
I pull into the gravel lot behind the tattoo shop, notice her bike on the premises, and race up the steps to her apartment. I don’t think about asking for permission to go inside. I just go for it, push open the door and everything seems to change in an instant.
She’s standing there in the living area, her eyes shifting to mine. So do his.
Her ex-boyfriend.
I ball my hand into a fist, rage rushing through my veins.
“Hunter? What are you doing here?” Dani stands and approaches me, but my eyes are glued on her ex, who says, “We’re trying to have a talk, man.”
His lips press together, as if he’s angry or sad. I don’t know which. I don’t fucking care either.
“Yeah, well that talk is over. You need to walk out that door and go back to wherever the hell you came from.”
“I don’t want to fight with you,” he says, much more reserved than the first time I met him. Perhaps he’s afraid I’ll knock him on his ass again. I’m certainly in the mood.
I take a measured step toward him. He shrinks away slightly, but before I can take another step, Dani’s hand presses against my chest, holding me back. “Stop it,” she scolds me. “Both of you stop it.”
“Leave. Now,” I say.
Taylor looks at Dani, who just crosses her arms over her chest. When he gets no help from her, he leaves, holding the box he was carrying. He slams the door shut behind him, forcing a glass portrait on the wall to rock against the wall.
When he’s gone, Dani shakes her head. “What are you doing here, Hunter? You can’t just—”
I walk toward her, and she backs up until her back meets the wall. I tower over her, staring down into her eyes. “Why the hell was he here?”
“None of your business.”
“Oh, it's my business alright. Everything about you is my business, Dani,” I say, putting my hands on either side of her head. “Because I care about you, dammit. And I don't want that punkass hurting you again—”
She throws herself at me, landing her lips against mine. It’s unexpected, but it’s more than welcome. I throw my arms around her, and lift her slightly in the air until her legs are wrapped around my hips. I drive her backwards until she lands against the wall, kissing her with everything I am.
Chapter Twenty
Dani
Anything to get him to shut up. Anything to make me shut up too. There were so many things on the edge of my tongue and I had to stop them from being spit out. I had to shut myself up and this was the easiest way I knew how to do that. It’s the only way I know how. It gives me more time to think about what I want to do—what I need to do.
Hunter pulls away and immediately lowers his mouth to my neck. Pinning me against the wall with his weight, he’s able to free one hand to tangle in my hair as he nibbles my ear.
My fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt, craving the muscular flesh underneath. But the way he pulls my hair screams more than words, it screams that he’s just as frustrated as I am right now, and I can’t blame him.
I shudder against his touch and push him back enough so that he drops me to my feet. I throw a palm against his chest, pushing
him all the way back against the opposite wall. He lands with a thud, and I must admit I love being in control like this, especially at a time like this when my mind is going haywire with uncomfortable truths that neither of us are ready to say out loud just yet.
I reach for the top of his slacks and rip his shirt out from underneath before making quick work of his belt, sliding it through the loops and tossing it to the floor. Before he’s able to process what’s going on, his pants are around his ankles with his underwear and I’m stroking his long shaft with soft hands.
He shudders, throws his head back against the wall as I wrap my palm around his hot, throbbing hardness, leaking wetness from the tip. He reaches down to unbutton his shirt, then rips it down his shoulders so that he’s wearing nothing but a t-shirt and I’m still fully dressed. It’s quite the role reversal, but neither of us seem to mind.
I stroke him a few more times before pulling on his cock, gesturing for him to move. I move backwards, guiding him toward the bedroom. Once inside, I pull him to the edge of the bed as I take a seat. And just when he thinks he’s about to get something more—my mouth wrapped around his cock, perhaps, I tug on him hard enough to pull him down onto the bed, and force him onto his back.
His hands trail to my hips as I climb on top of him, my skirt draped on either side of his body as my hands slide underneath his white tee. I want to tease him until he’s screaming, until he’s telling me exactly what he wants. I buck my hips against his hardness, my thin panties rubbing across his flesh creating an unbearable tension.
His fingers tangle around my underwear, and he rips at them but they don’t give way.
“Fuck,” he cries out and shifts his hips upward, trying to steal more friction. “Take those off.”
“Why?” I question, my voice breathy and cracking.
“You know exactly why?”
“Yeah?” I tease and bow over him so that I bore into his eyes with mine. They’re feral and ready, wanting, needing, craving. There’s an animal inside of him. There’s an animal inside me too. An animal who wants nothing more than to run, but right now, I can’t. I need this last fix, because just maybe it’ll change my mind. Maybe it’ll change his too.
I push my hands upward underneath his shirt, forcing it to bunch at his shoulders. He reaches behind him and tugs his shirt off in one go.
I just about lose all my senses, just about lose any control I have over him, staring down at his impossibly muscular chest and abs with the most beautiful ridges I’ve ever seen. I buck harder against his cock, until it’s too much for him.
He rips at my panties once more and succeeds in tearing them at one side, just enough so that he can push the remnants of them to one side, and the next time I buck against him, my bare vulnerable cunt caresses against his silky yet steel cock.
He finagles one hand between the two of us and strokes at his cock, lines it up against my opening, and with one upward shift of his hips, he guides his way in.
I let him have all of me, sinking down onto his shaft as slowly as I can until he’s balls deep inside me. Just when he’s about to begin thrusting, I sink down on him further still, using the weight of my body to hold him in place.
But he’s too strong for me and manages to stir from beneath, pushing into me, pulling out of me with short, shallow thrusts that somehow still make me almost go blind. It’s the best cock I’ve ever had, but I know a big part of thinking that is because we’re connected in a way that goes beyond the physical.
I brace both hands against his chest as I begin to ride him faster, harder, allowing him to thrust deeper into me. It’s a battle for control as I fight to set the pace, but he’s too far gone beneath me, too far down the rabbit hole of lust and he’s not going to let me have my way with him.
He thrusts upwards one more time, before using his strong hands to flip me over onto my back. His cock slips free. At first, I think it’s an accident. But not quite.
“What are you doing?” I question, gravel in my throat.
“I want to see every part of you,” he growls as he pulls my skirt down my legs, and does the same with the remaining fabric of my panties. I sit up in bed and rip my shirt over my head, because more than anything I need him back inside me.
He wastes no time doing just that, crawls back over my body and thrusts into me in one sharp, long motion. I let out a yelp, a moan, a scream as he drives into me over and over again, his eyes locked with mine as he fucks me into insanity.
He rises to his knees then tugs on my body, pulling me closer to him, throwing each of my legs over his shoulders for deeper access. That’s when I know for certain I’ve lost control. He drives his cock into me with reckless abandon, his pelvis slapping against mine and I pray that everyone downstairs has already gone home because there’s no way they wouldn’t hear what’s going on up here.
Closer and closer, I find myself hurtling toward a chaotic climax, no longer able to control the moans that are being thrown from my throat. He gets off on being able to make me scream, and I get off on making him sweat.
Beads of sweat trickle down his flushed cheeks as he tightens his grip on my legs. He’s wearing down, but he’s not going to stop until he’s finished with me. The muscles, the grooves in his chest and abs contract as he fucks me harder, deeper.
My toes curl against his shoulders as I break, coming around his hard, thick cock. I’ve never been so loud in my life, never been so loud in bed, but I can’t help it. Can’t shut my mouth, even if my life depended on it. My entire being convulses as I ride out the waves of pleasure.
My eyes spring open when he groans. He empties himself inside of me, continuing to thrust in shorter and shorter strokes until he’s spent completely.
* * *
Once we're finally able to breathe again, Hunter speaks first. “Are you okay? I got a call from Chad that worried me. I—”
“I can’t have kids,” I say abruptly. Just like that. I figure it’s the only thing to do. Best to just say it and get it out of the way, because no matter how fabulous it feels being in Hunter’s arms, I know it can’t last, and I need to do this now. I need to make him understand that whether or not he’s bribing Chad, whether or not he’d called Amy, whether or not I care about him more than any man I’ve ever been with and wish we could have a future together, it can’t last.
“What?” He turns to me.
“It’s exactly what I said. I can’t have kids.” I wet my lips and bow my head, ashamed. “That’s why my ex broke up with me. Why he might want to fuck me, but not marry me.”
“Yeah, well, we both already know he’s a fucking asshole.”
I just shrug. It’s a battle I’ve been through a thousand times before, usually within the confines of my own head. “I don’t blame him and you shouldn’t either. I know you want kids, too.”
He shifts his attention away from me for a moment, but then his hand caresses my cheek and his mouth lands against my neck. He pushes me down on the mattress and crawls on top of me, his breath just as hot as before. But instead of giving in to his touch, I pull away and force myself to sit back up in bed.
He’s trying to distract me, which is exactly what I’ve been afraid of. He’s trying to avoid the hard conversation, and he’s using my lust for him as a weapon against me. He can’t fuck my fears out of me any more than I could ever make him stay.
“Dani, babe, it’s going to be okay,” he says, but his voice is stiff. It sounds false. It sounds desperate, like he’s trying to convince us both but can’t quite do it.
Tears threaten to pool at the corner of my eyes, but I force them away. I can’t cry in front of him, that would be showing him too much weakness. I’ll wait till he’s out the door if I’m going to cry at all. “In your mind, you’ve already left me.”
“What are you talking about?” He shakes his head gently, then tries to touch my face, but I pull away and climb to my feet on the opposite side of the bed so that the mattress separates us.
“Admit
it,” I say. “You’re already out the door. There is no us.”
“Dani, our relationship is just beginning. I can’t say what’s going to happen.”
“Right.”
“You hardly know me, Dani. For all I know, you’ll leave me in a month because I'm a wuss who can't handle needles. Maybe you'll even leave me for the Hulk-lookalike at your shop,” he says, trying to make light of it. I can tell he's trying to make excuses, trying to comfort me, but there's no way to comfort me through this. It is what it is, and I need to protect myself before I fall too deep. And with Hunter, I can easily see myself falling too hard for him.
I lock eyes with him and force a gentle smile, but we both know it’s faker than a three-dollar bill. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, and when I open them, I’ve already made up my mind. “I’m not waiting for another guy to leave me.”
“I’m not trying to leave.”
“But you will. They always do,” I say.
“I'm trying to stay. I want to stay. Don't make me leave—”
“Do it now,” I tell him, but it’s not a request. It’s a demand. I open the bedroom door and gesture with one hand for him to leave. “Everyone always leaves. Doesn’t matter when, why, or how, but everyone does, so I need you to go.”
“Stop it, Dani. We don't know what the future holds for either of us.” Again, another pathetic excuse. He doesn't want to hurt me, but it will hurt far more once I'm head over heels in love with him and he decides to leave me for a woman who can give him what he wants.
“No. I won’t stop. I said leave. Now!” I push his chest and I keep pushing until he's standing before me. And then I push him toward the door, trying to get him as far away from me as possible.
“Be careful, Dani. You want to push me away? You’re getting close to getting your wish.”
“Go, Hunter. Just go. It's what I want.”
He’s about to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead he just offers me a curt nod before walking out.