by Ann Wilson
10. Dream
Saturday, 29 February 2572
Odeon was too edgy to sleep, too nervous about Joanie's prospects forrecovery even to rest well, and more than a little apprehensive aboutthe Brothers, so not long after midnight he gave up his useless attemptto sleep. He dressed quietly in the dim night-lighting, careful not todisturb the others--especially Piety, napping at the table. With apatient to care for and herself the only medical person who knew aboutCortin's surgery, Chang slept grudgingly, not letting herself getcomfortable for fear of not waking if Cortin should need her. Odeondidn't think it really necessary, but he wouldn't order anyone to beless conscientious in their specialty than they thought wise.
He slipped outside, chuckling ruefully at himself. Sis wasn't the onlyone taking unnecessary precautions; here he was putting himself onguard duty in a Royal residential compound with the Crown Prince andPrincess present! If that wasn't redundant, he didn't know what wouldbe; he'd have the proverbial snowball's chance against anything thatcould get past the kind of security this place had. Still, he feltbetter when he'd made a tour around the shelter and settled himself ina lawn chair beside the door.
It was a mild night, a bit cooler than usual for this time ofyear--good sleeping weather, and the smell of the roses was relaxing.Maybe out here he could catch a nap after all, so he wouldn't be atotal loss in the morning--wouldn't want to be a zombie when Joaniewoke up! And he was a Tracker, trained to wake instantly if he heardanything unusual. He settled deeper into the chair, closing his eyes.
* * * * *
The man approaching him was impossible. For one thing, he wasinhumanly attractive, almost beautiful--but the clincher was hisuniform. Enforcement did have some good-looking older officers; it hadnever had a white uniform, or a star for rank insigne, or a Kingdomemblem that looked like a spiral galaxy. This had to be a dream, then,so Odeon settled in to play along and enjoy it.
It seemed reasonable to assume that a star outranked even an eagle, sohe stood, coming to attention as the man neared.
"At ease," the stranger said, smiling. "You need have no fear for yourJoanie, Michael; she'll be fully recovered when she wakes."
"Thank you, sir." Odeon had no doubt the man knew precisely what hewas talking about, and it was definitely reassuring.
"But you'd like to know how I know." The man smiled again. "I'm anaspect of the Triune you worship, Michael, in a form I hope you'llfind--" He broke off, chuckling. "Not comforting, certainly, or evenreassuring, but at least not threatening. I'm here to give you aheads-up, and maybe more if you want it. You've thought for a longtime that Joanie's something special, haven't you?"
Odeon nodded, glad that this was a dream. If it'd been real, hewould've been too stunned to function--because the man looked like anolder Jeshua, and that was entirely too much for him to accept asreality with any degree of calm. As it was, he managed a nod. "Yes, Ihave."
"And you're quite right, she is." The man paused. "The White Fatherstaught you well, but human interpretations do tend to modify even themost accurate prophecies. Can you accept both that fact, and theaccompanying one that I cannot, for your own sake, give you all thedetails just yet?"
Odeon hesitated in turn, then nodded, slowly. "From anyone else, I'dsay no--but from you, I can manage."
The man smiled. "You please me, my son. The White Fathers called thisthe Time of Chaos, though Time of Change would be more accurate,particularly where the lives of those on your team are concerned. Joanis the herald of the Promised One, and will act as that one's surrogatefor a time, though she will not be asked to bear that burdenpermanently, and would be far happier if she isn't forced toacknowledge her temporary Protectorship."
Odeon frowned. "The Protector's Herald and acting Protector herself?"That didn't seem particularly plausible, though he had to agree Joaniewouldn't enjoy being put in either position.
"You are a wise man, Michael. And properly skeptical, as a policeofficer must be." The man raised his hand. "But it's your devotionthat has to take precedence now, and it has to be focused on her."
"With all respect, sir, I don't understand."
"Remain her friend and guide, as you've begun. Completing her destinedtasks will be both difficult and dangerous, particularly since she mustremain largely unaware of that destiny, and her powers must remainmostly latent, until the true Protector manifests." He gestured, andthey were inside, standing beside the cot that served Cortin as arecovery room, with Chang on the other side.
The man kept his attention centered on Odeon, though he was clearlyaddressing Chang as well. "When she wakes, the final phase begins.You will be severely tried, Michael in particular, by pain and lossgreat enough that you will be sorely tempted to reject me." He raiseda hand to forestall Odeon's instinctive denial. "I said you would betempted; I did not say you would succumb, though even Cardinals are notimmune."
Odeon frowned again. In the light of last month's murder of PopeAnthony and Cardinal McHenry's near-unanimous election--he was now PopeLucius--that had an ominous sound. "There was something fishy aboutthe Papal election?"
"Let us just say that were his true identity known, most people wouldprefer a fish in that position. The former Cardinal McHenry introducedhimself to Sister-Lieutenant Chang as the Raidmaster."
Odeon stared at Chang, then at him. "The Raidmaster--are you sayingthat Shayan is the Pope?"
"The Cardinals' free will includes the freedom to accept temptation,"the man said drily. "Yes, he's managed that. But for now balance mustbe maintained, which means giving Joan a core group he can't touch, andnudging temporal authorities to give her mundane power to match his.All of which will have to be done without her knowledge, or she losesher temporary immunity before she's strong enough to fight him. Ifthat's how she chooses to handle it."
Gently, he pulled the coverlet down to Cortin's waist, then touched herbreasts. "If you choose, you two will be her chief support--and forthat, you'll need support yourselves. You've both offered your livesto me and been accepted. That hasn't protected you from sin, becausethat's part of the Protector's covenant. And it's too early for it toprotect more than her core group--but if you're willing to surrenderthat fragment of your free will so you can serve her fully, I can giveyou the help and protection you need to do it."
"You've got it," Odeon said without hesitation, and Chang nodded.
"I expected no less of you," Jeshua said, obviously pleased. "Thendrink from her, for hers is the protecting and healing Milk of Life."
Chang obeyed immediately, but Odeon hesitated, looking at the drop ofwhite that had appeared on her nipple. "Even for that," he saidsoftly, "I can't take advantage of her. That's not the way to helpher."
"I admire your integrity," Jeshua said, "but that need not concern you.I foresaw this possibility; she'll feel and enjoy your drinking.Though she won't understand it until the time comes to make thisavailable to everyone."
Reassured, Odeon bent to his Joanie's breast and drank. Her milk waswarm and sweet, so full of the promised life it was almostintoxicating--and he could feel her pleasure in it, could feel Sis'emotional pain and scars fading to nonexistence, could feel God'sPresence surrounding and enfolding them.
He was reluctant to release her even when he could drink no more. Theunity he'd felt with her, and through her with Sis, was too right forhim to want to leave it.
"There will be other times," Jeshua said. "Only one drink isnecessary--but once all can partake, she will feed you again and often,both as part of your loving and as a remembrance and renewal of theunity you've just felt." He smiled. "That doesn't mean she won'tcontinue to lactate; she and those who accept her will have specialgifts, you and her other staff and priests in particular. It onlymeans that until then, her milk will be no more miraculous than anyother woman's. You and Piety are the ones who'll choose those to serveher and give them milk or seed."
That part made sense; Odeon was used to both priest
ly functions anddelegation of authority. It was what Jeshua said about Joanie's milkbeing part of their loving--with Joanie the Protector, even justtemporarily, he couldn't possibly--
Jeshua chuckled. "Of course you can, and will. You don't love her anyless because of what you've learned; why deprive either yourself or herof the most powerful physical expression of that love? It's alsosomething both of you want, and I certainly have no objection." Hesmiled.
Odeon returned the smile, unable to resist the other's charisma. Whathe said did make sense; he'd wept when Joanie'd lost that pleasure andconsolation, and now that she had it back, it'd be unfair for him todeprive her. Not that he wanted to deprive either of them; it justseemed incongruous that he make love to an Aspect of God. Knowing thatshe was, anyway; it'd seemed normal enough before. Still . . . "Youknow I'll do anything she needs--or just wants--me to do."
"I know," Jeshua said. "To your credit, my son, though you don'treally need it." He turned to Chang, touching her head gently. "Anymore than you do, daughter. You've had the special help you needed;now your suffering is over, and you may conceive whenever and withwhomever you wish. I assure you, your child will have a distinguishedfamily."
Chang bowed to him, her expression at once radiant and serene. "I willleave those choices to the One Who healed me, with gratitude."
"So be it." Jeshua smiled, covered Cortin again, and was gone.
* * * * *
Moonlight in his face brought Odeon awake, frowning. That dream hadbeen decidedly peculiar, not at all his usual type--much too realistic,for one thing, so much so that it seemed he could still taste Joanie'smilk. What had gotten into him?
More disturbed by the dream than he cared to admit even to himself, hegot up and stretched, then made another tour around the shelter beforegoing in. The activity helped--until he saw Chang's tear-stained faceand haunted expression. He joined her at the table, glancing atCortin--no, nothing obviously wrong--before touching the medic's hand."What's wrong, Sis?" he asked quietly.
"A dream, no more," she said. "I should not have let it disturbme--though it seemed so real I find it hard to dismiss as I should."
Two overly-real dreams not only on the same night, but apparently atthe same time . . . "I just had one of those myself," he said. "Ifyours matches, I think we can count on interesting times ahead--tell meabout it."
When she finished, he rubbed his scar. "Word for word, and as close toaction for action as possible with you in here and me outside. Not adream, then, was it?"
"No." Chang managed a shaky smile. "To live in interesting times isan ancient curse of my people, did you know that?"
"I'd heard," Odeon said. "This was a blessing, though." He fellsilent. "If we can believe the visions, anyway. On the other hand,Shayan is the Father of Lies, and his only absolute limitation is thathe can't create life. He could be trying to trick us."
Chang shook her head. "I have felt Shayan's touch, Michael; I wouldknow it anywhere, and that was not he. More, what benefit would he getfrom such trickery?"
"None that I can think of," Odeon admitted. "And I don't reallybelieve the idea myself--comes from a career of questioning everything,especially when there's no physical proof one way or the other."
"There is a form of proof possible," Chang said. "If either of us cando something we know to be sinful, the vision was false. If not, whichI am certain is the case, it seems safe enough to assume its truth;even in my most cynical moments, I cannot believe that Shayan wouldrender a human incapable of sin, even if such lies within his power."
"I can, under one condition, but since I don't believe he's capable oflove--especially where Enforcement people are concerned--I agree withyour conclusion."
Odeon thought for a minute, then made the attempt, with a total lack ofsuccess. Giving the nun a half-smile, he shrugged. "Can't violate theFirst Commandment, at any rate. I can consider it intellectually withno problem, but when think comes to do, no way." His attempt at ahumorous grin turned into an elated smile. "Sis, it's great! I'vebeen praying for this since I was a boy and learned what the Protectorwould do--I not only can't sin now, I can't even want to!"
Chang gestured him to quiet down before his enthusiasm woke the rest;it was still well before normal time to get up, and waking someoneunnecessarily was rude at best. His pleasure was infectious, though,and she couldn't help returning his smile. "I feel as you do,Michael--though I still find it difficult to fully accept that I amactually living in the Protector's time. I am somewhat surprised thatI am able to accept it at all."
"Me too--so I imagine that's part of the help we were promised. Wecouldn't accomplish a whole lot if we were too stunned to function, andfrom what he said, we're going to have to start functioning almostimmediately."
"True--though we will be able to say nothing about this."
"Not right away, no," Odeon agreed, "but we'll have to tell the restsoon. And anyone else we think should be part of her core group. I'vegot some pretty good ideas about who I'd like to see in it, too. Bradand Ivan definitely, Their Highnesses--odd as it may seem--verypossibly."
"I believe it would be difficult to find better, if they are willing."
"We'll ask when we get the chance. In the meantime--" Odeon hesitated."I don't know about you, Sis, but I never expected to be living at theend of one age and the beginning of another, even though the monks whoraised me said it was possible and I always wanted to see theProtector."
"My feelings also," Chang said. "I had hoped for such, but not reallyanticipated it either." She smiled. "I always wished to be both a nunand a mother, and that seemed to be the only way it would be possible.So while I, like you, am frightened, I am also looking forward to theexperience."
"From what he was saying, you're going to be more a priest than anun--but I know what you mean." Odeon studied her carefully. "Igather that being healed means yau'll be able to join the actionnow--and want to?"
"Indeed, as eagerly as you. Were it not that I have responsibilitiesto my patient, I would wish to enjoy you immediately." She lookedtoward the sleepers, then back to him. "I find that strange,considering the circumstances of my previous sexual experience. But itis also undeniably true. I desire you, and I will undoubtedly desirethe others when opportunity presents itself."
"They'll be as glad to hear that as I am, though they might find it alittle hard to believe at first. Whatever we tell them later, we'llhave to give some sort of explanation for that almost immediately."
"I see no problem there; the truth, in part, should do nicely. Allknow I have been praying for this; I need only say my prayers have beenanswered. I need not say how directly just yet, though I agree that wewill have to do so eventually."
Odeon chuckled, pleased to find his equanimity returning. "True. Itlooks like you may not be with us too long, though, if He sends you achild right away."
"It is in His hands--but He said Joan will need us both, so either Iwill not conceive soon, or He will find a way for me to remain withher."
"Any preference as to the father?"
"Not of the fertile men I know. Were he one, and the choice stillmine, I would choose Tiny."
The gentlest of the team, except for Piety herself. A natural choice,Odeon thought, smiling. "He'd make a good father, I think. And it'snot completely out of the question, with the same kind of help you'vealready had."
"True." Chang smiled briefly. "We shall see, when the time comes."
* * * * *
"How do you feel, Captain?"
"Mmm?" Cortin opened her eyes, to see Odeon and Chang standing overher. "Not bad--it's done?"
"It is done. The procedure went quite well. You feel no pain?"
"Only the usual in my back. No sensation where you were working."
Chang gave them a thumbs-up, smiling. "Precisely as it should be; youare fully healed, and the algetin has worn off. You are again capableof intercours
e, and I believe enjoyably so. Though it may take you afew times to become accustomed to the different sensations."
Cortin licked her lips apprehensively, sitting up but keeping herselfcovered with the sheet. Mike had said it'd be an order of magnitudebetter, Sis said it should be enjoyable, and she trusted themimplicitly--so why in God's name was she suddenly so apprehensive atthe prospect of something she'd enjoyed so much before? Her lastexperience had been horrible, granted, so maybe the apprehension wasnormal . . . She forced herself to calm. None of her people wouldhurt her, she knew that; at worst, she'd have no feeling. No physicalfeeling, she corrected herself. Making love with Enforcement men hadalways been fun, and usually gave her a comfortable, cherished feelingwhether she climaxed or not. She'd still have that, which wassomething to cling to. A big something.
"There are some things you should know before beginning," Chang said."While you are again capable of arousal, you must understand it willnot be the same; you will have to make allowances."
Cortin nodded. "I understand. Can you be more specific?"
"I found it necessary to provide muscular support for the replacement,"Chang said. "I attempted to tie the necessary relaxation into thearousal mechanism, but I am a medic, not a surgeon; I do not know if Iwas successful. Should arousal not relax those muscles sufficiently topermit penetration, you will have to do so consciously."
"I think I can manage that, if I have to. What about climax?"
Chang shrugged, smiling regretfully. "You will have to tell me," shesaid. "You are not physiologically equipped for such, yet my studiestell me it is as much a mental as a physical phenomenon, so I cannotsay you will not experience it."
"That's all I can ask," Cortin said. "I owe you, Sis; what can I dofor you?"
Chang smiled. "You owe me nothing, Captain; restoring your ability tofunction is reward enough. And I have news of my own. You are not theonly one to be restored; my prayers have been answered."
Cortin laughed, her apprehension dissolved in the nun's evidentpleasure. "Wonderful! When? Who'd you celebrate it with?"
"Last night. No one as yet, not with a patient under my care andmyself the only available medic."
"In which case it's a good thing I don't need medical care any longer,"Cortin said with a grin. Then she turned to Odeon. "Where are therest, Mike?"
"Tiny's outside playing gardener; the rest are up at the Manor visitingPrince Edward's security troops. We thought it would be a good idea tolet you check yourself out without a crowd."
"I appreciate the consideration, but my team's not a crowd." Cortincocked an eye at him. "Since I know you wouldn't pull rank for apersonal matter, were you the one to stay because we were loversbefore?"
"That did make him the reasonable choice," Chang said equably.
"And Sis has more than a passing interest in Tiny," Odeon said.
"Then I'd suggest she invite him in," Cortin said. "While shedoes--any news?"
She meant professional, not personal, Odeon knew; he shook his head."Nothing worth mentioning. The Brothers are still laying low, andaside from confirming what you found out about the Shannons, Ivan saysthe Detention Center Inquisitors have been drawing blanks."
"What about the one we brought with us?"
"Dave and Ivan teamed up on him, but unless you count someentertainment, they didn't get anything useful."
"Blast! Not wishing anyone anything bad, but I'll be glad when thisstalemate breaks."
"You aren't the only one," Odeon agreed emphatically. "Morale's asgood as you could expect, maybe a little better, but everyone's itchingfor some action." He made a wry face. "Group therapy can only do somuch, even when you've got a bunch of compatible enthusiasts. Which wedefinitely do, even with you out of action."
"Good." Most Enforcement men were heterosexual whenever possible, toCortin's gratification, but had no hesitation in enjoying each otherrather than doing without; if they weren't compatible, morale suffered."Nobody's getting shorted or exploited?"
"No. Everything's as smooth as we could hope for, and everyone'slooking forward to having you join in."
"I plan to," Cortin said, then turned to Chang, who had come back inwith Pritchett. "Unless you'd recommend otherwise?"
"As I said, you are fully healed," the medic said. "I see no reason tohesitate, even with our misnamed Tiny."
"Well endowed?" Cortin asked Odeon, grinning. She'd never seen hercommunications specialist naked, to her disappointment; in Middletownhe'd used the Elysian Gardens, and here, she'd been unconscious.
"Nicely in proportion, at any rate," Odeon replied with an answeringgrin. "And his stamina's nothing to sneeze at, either--he gave me aride yesterday evening you wouldn't believe."
The big man grinned. "You flatter me--and I love it."
"No flattery intended," Odeon said, straight-faced. "Just doing myduty, keeping the CO informed. Of course, I imagine she'll see forherself here shortly."
"If not," Chang said, "I will be most disappointed. When I was prayingfor a normal trooper's sexual attitude and abilities, I did not realizethe strength of the drive I was praying for. I confess I am finding itdifficult to keep my hands to myself."
"Why try, then?" Cortin asked. "Neither of you is on duty, therearen't any civs around, and Tiny looks willing enough."
"More than willing," Pritchett said, extending his hand to the medic."I need a shower first; care to join me?"
"That sounds most enjoyable."
"Attractive couple, aren't they?" Odeon asked appreciatively as thepair disappeared into the bathroom.
"Very," Cortin agreed. "Sis deserved a miracle if anyone did, andTiny'll be good for her." She let the sheet drop--and found out whyOdeon was wearing a robe at this time of day; he was naked. And, shethought with satisfaction, as beautifully and excitingly male as sheremembered.
Odeon looked at her, afraid that what he'd learned of her early thatmorning would block his normal reaction to her. To his considerablerelief, he discovered it didn't; if anything, it made her moredesirable. The remembered taste of her milk sent a surge of thrillingwarmth through him, focusing in his loins.
Cortin grinned at her second's fast arousal, holding out her arms asshe felt half-familiar, half-strange sensations in her belly. "It'snice to have a dependable second--especially one who's properlyrespectful."
Odeon glanced down, smiling at her familiar banter. "Yes, ma'am. TheAcademy did stress respect for one's superior officers, and theimportance of a proper stance of attention."
* * * * *
They lay for awhile when it ended, catching their breath, then Odeonwithdrew, caressing her affectionately. "You seemed to enjoy that--andit's the best I've ever had."
"Enjoy?" Cortin looked at him, trying to sort out her feelings."That's . . . I don't know. Too weak a word." She smiled at him, abit tentatively. "Mike . . . it was like climaxing, the wholetime--and when you did, it was . . ." She hesitated, searching forwords, then gave it up as hopeless. Even a poet would have troubledescribing what she'd felt! "I can't describe it, except that it waslike being filled with liquid fire--and I'm still tingling from it."
"So what's the verdict for tonight? Rest or recreation?"
"Recreation, definitely. After supper, though."
"Bradford and Illyanov have been making it pretty clear they'd like in,if you're willing."
'Willing' seemed like a pretty weak word too, Cortin thought. Itdidn't seem her drive was any stronger than it had been, so maybe itwas the length of time she'd had to abstain, but the idea of as wide avariety as she could get--and as much--was overwhelmingly attractive."I assume you told them I would be?"
"Not exactly, though I did say you'd enjoyed men from outside your teamin the past. Sweet Mother, I couldn't even be sure you'd want me,after what the Brothers did to you!" Until he'd been told thismorning that she would, and he'd only become positive when she'dclaimed him . . .
"There's a ma
jor difference between an enemy assault and a friendlytussle," Cortin said drily. "I was a little nervous at first, I can'tdeny that, but it didn't last long. I didn't notice you having me helddown, or using broken bottles, or gun barrels along with threats toblow my head off from the inside."
"You never told me that!" Odeon exclaimed, horrified.
"I . . . had a hard time talking about it until now. Even duringdebrief, with all of Colonel Bradford's skill. I still do, a little."
Odeon embraced her, swearing to himself. What he had known was badenough--but he hadn't imagined rape with a gun barrel, and he didn'twant to imagine any parts she'd still have trouble talking about. Bradwas right--they had to get Joanie out of the field, somewhere she'd besafe, before the Brothers had a chance to get hold of her again, offlimits or not, and maybe do something even worse. Between himself,Brad, and Ivan, they should be able to find some way to get her into asafe job willingly! "It's okay, Joanie," he said softly. "We'll takecare of you."
Cortin started to pull away, protesting that she could take care ofherself, then she settled back into his arms. Mike meant well, she wassure, and it was nice having him hold her. "We'll all take care ofeach other," she agreed. "And yes, do invite Ivan and Bradalong--we'll make a real party of it."
"That sounds like fun." Odeon gave a theatrical sigh. "Which Isuppose means I should get up and call them."
"No need," Chang said, startling them both; they hadn't realized sheand Tiny were back until she spoke. "We will do so, though that willgive you only a few more minutes."
"Every little bit helps," Odeon said. "Thanks, Sis--Tiny."