by LeCoeur, Ami
Damn, I really need to be careful about what I say!
"We've been over this already and everything is settled." I hated to take that tone with her, but sometimes I had to—like when she acted as if she was the older sister. "I've been doing fine on my own for a long time now. I can take care of myself. You know that, otherwise you'd still be stuck here all day with me."
I watched as her worry melt into sadness, mixed with a twinge of guilt. Oh dang, Maria, you just did it again. Open mouth, insert foot!
"Seriously,” I said in a gentler tone. “I'll be fine. And besides, we've got Skype, so I'll be expecting regular reports from you."
"And vice-versa," she said.
"Agreed. Now you finish packing, I need to get something from my room." I backed my chair out of the doorway. I'd never been much for athletics, but being in the wheelchair had actually forced me to develop upper body strength. With the overhead trapeze, I could easily get into and out of bed, and so long as I was careful about putting things back where they belonged after I used them, there wasn't much around the house that could trip me up.
The phone rang as I passed the hall table, so I picked it up absentmindedly.
"Hello.”
A grunt and then silence on the other end, followed by the click of a disconnect.
That's strange, I thought. And then, unbidden, I remembered the calls that had chased Dad away. The calls coming in at all hours of the day and night. It didn't matter what I said or how I tried to explain he no longer lived here. The heavy-handed creeps on the other end didn't care if they scared the bejeezus out of me— in some perverse way they seemed to like it. It had gotten so I wouldn't even answer the phone if I was home by myself.
I shivered, goosebumps running down my arms, trying to push that terrible time out of my mind. Ange and I’d both been relieved when the calls stopped, even though we never knew why. We'd just assumed the goons had finally caught up with Dad. But, I still hadn't felt any better about leaving the security of the house.
In fact, I still had the sense someone was watching. Waiting. I could almost feel eyes brushing across the skin at the back of my neck. Paranoid, I know, but I felt vulnerable, defenseless against potential threat.
But inside our little bungalow I was safe. Or so I thought. After everything that had happened to me, in a world where I’d lost so much, I liked feeling safe.
With Mom gone, it was awful not knowing where Dad was—or if he was still alive. After we found out about his heart attack, Ange was pretty angry, but I think I understand why he stayed away.
More than once I'd found him face down in front of Mom's picture, sobbing drunkenly and apologizing. I know he was filled with guilt for the accident that killed her and disabled me... it was rare he would even look me in the eye. I tried telling him, over and over, that the accident wasn’t his fault. He wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t talk about it. He’d just drink himself unconscious. I suppose it was the only way he didn’t have to think about missing Mom.
I shook my head, wanting to shake the memories away. There was still so much we just didn't know. But right now I needed to stop focusing on the call. Maybe it was just random, a wrong number. Unless it happened again, I just wasn't going to worry about it.
I grabbed my wallet from the bedside table and wheeled back into Angela's bedroom.
"Here, Sis," I said, holding out a hundred dollar bill. "I want you to find something really special for me on the trip. Something that gives me that flavor I was talking about."
She looked at me for a moment. "Maria, I can't take your money. And where did you get that? Is it from the Fund?"
I grinned sheepishly. She was right. It was from the Fund. The money Uncle Benito had sent for me to go to college. The same money we'd had to dig into after Dad disappeared—money we needed to supplement Angela's meager wages.
"Look, you know I planned to use the Fund to study in Paris—for my painting. So just think of this as a way for me to study in the Caribbean. But through your eyes, my little mobile unit."
She shook her head at me as I thrust it into her hands. "I know you won't disappoint me, and I really do want a souvenir. Please do this for me."
We'd both hesitated to cannibalize the Fund, but at the time it had served a wonderful purpose and we'd been able to keep the house. Thank goodness we had the house.
And now the Fund wasn't so important. Not since our new fairy godfather had shown up to offer Angela a job that was finally worthy of her! I was so relieved she'd been able to quit her dead-end waitress job with that slob of a boss.
Not that she'd ever complained about any of it. Not about having to leave college, or taking a crap job. She deserved this vacation. And, the way things were looking, maybe our fairy godfather might end up being her Prince Charming after all.
"Okay, I will, Sis," she leaned down to kiss my cheek.
I smiled, leaving her to finish up. "I'll do breakfast in the morning so you can finish any last minute stuff."
Chapter Four
ANGELA
Antonio Mancini's presence loomed in the darkness the moment I slipped between the sheets that night and closed my eyes. I sensed his nearness rather than seeing his face. “What do you want from me?” I asked as I drifted off to sleep.
That night I dreamt of being in a circus tent, part of a high wire and trapeze act. It was suddenly my turn on the trapeze, and I froze. What did I know of flying through the air? A gentle push from behind sent me swinging out over the net so far below. Frightened, I held on for dear life. When I looked up, there was Antonio, swinging towards me, hands outstretched.
"Come on, Cara," he said in that deep, velvety voice. "Just let go, I'm here."
I swung back towards the platform, my mind a jumble. What should I do? Hold on? Let go? Was it safe?
As the trapeze swung out towards Antonio again, I saw the fire in his eyes, and at the last possible moment, I let go, flying towards his grasp.
Bells suddenly went off, startling me out of the dream. My heart racing, I sat up, looking around the room. "6:00 AM" said the clock next to the bed.
I drew my legs up, resting my head on my knees.
I didn’t know what these dreams meant, but they frightened me. Were they some kind of warning, or just my own overly dramatic imagination?
I thought of this arrangement I had agreed to, wondering again what exactly Antonio might expect of me. Wondering what I might be willing to do to fulfill the agreements and get my rewards. I remembered that night in the limousine, the way I had practically thrown myself at him.
I shook my head. I couldn’t go through with this. I couldn’t let myself become Antonio’s plaything. It would be too easy to lose myself in those eyes. Too easy to—
“Hey, Sis, I heard the alarm,” Maria said with a knock at my door. “I know you’re awake and I bet you’re as excited as I am!”
“Yeah, excited,” I said, trying to sound it.
“Come on! Thompson will be here soon. Let’s get you some breakfast.”
“I’ll be right out,” I said, though I stayed put for a least a minute longer, breathing in and out slowly, trying to relax my racing heart and willing myself not to cry.
Chapter Five
A few hours later, I stood at the departure gate with Antonio at my side. We looked the picture of a vacationing couple, I in a blue floral maxi dress and gold sandals, and Antonio, for the first time since I’d met him, dressed casually in a white short-sleeved button-down shirt and blue-gray pants. Instead of his usual slicked back look, a few strands of his hair fell over his forehead.
“So this is what you look like outside of your normal uniform,” I said, trying not to let on that the somewhat boyish charm of his new look was even more unnerving to me than usual.
He chuckled, brushing back his hair. “This may be a business trip, but every once in a while, even I deserve a little fun.”
The mischievous glint in his eyes when he said that excited me—almost as much as it
reminded me of my purpose on this trip.
“Have you been on a cruise before?” he asked.
I shook my head. A cruise? I’d never even left the state. Maria and I had gotten passports when we were planning the Paris trip—but we'd never had a chance to use them.
And now here I was, literally on a first class ticket to the Caribbean. The truth was, as anxious as I was about what might happen between Antonio and me, I was as giddy as a school girl about this trip. Everything here was new to me. First class travel, a cruise ship, Caribbean Islands. And two weeks alone with a rich, powerful, gorgeous hunk of man.
Every step I took toward seeing a whole new part of the world, took me further and further away from my boring, little, comfortable life. Who wouldn't have a flutter of butterflies dancing in their tummy?
Chapter Six
Antonio hadn’t lied about doing business as usual. The moment the stewardess said we could access our PDAs and laptops, he’d opened up the computer and ignored me for the rest of the flight to Miami. I occupied my time with cocktails and the inflight movie, which obviously wasn’t that great, considering the credits were rolling by the time I woke up from a very relaxing nap.
A short cab ride later, and I was gazing up at the huge, white goliath called the Twilight PhantaSea.
“Impressive isn’t she?” said Antonio, leaning in close to whisper in my ear.
I could only nod, as he took me by the arm, guiding me through check-in and then up the gangway along with the other passengers.
Once onboard, we were greeted by a sharp looking officer in a crisp uniform who handed each of us a flute of champagne. I felt conspicuous, but heck, who wouldn't like being treated special!
I marveled at the luxurious oriental carpets covering the floor in the large atrium, and the beautiful wooden bar on the far end. On the other side stood the grand staircase—like something straight out of Gone With The Wind. Across from the staircase, glass-walled elevators took passengers up to the other levels.
I managed to keep my jaw from hanging open the whole time as Antonio led me through the ship to our room. The commercials really did not do this experience justice. Everything was just so stunning and I couldn’t help but stare in awe.
I can’t wait to tell Maria about all this, I thought, as we glided down the carpeted hallway to our room.
This part of the ship wasn’t quite as big or luxurious as the main lobby had been. Still, the splendor of it all was impressive. I vowed to find a way to get Maria onboard one day. There was ample room for a wheelchair in the hall, and I'm sure they had special rooms just for the disabled. What was the joke about cruises? They were for the newly wed or the nearly dead? That meant they must have accommodations for the folks who couldn't easily get around by themselves.
“Here we are,” Antonio said, stopping in front of what must be our room.
Our room.
When we'd gone away to the country club, he’d gotten us separate rooms. But now… I took a deep breath, reminding myself that I had agreed to this trip. All on my own. No coercion. I understood the agreement and I knew the stakes.
He opened the door to reveal a tinier room than I had expected, which surprised me. In truth, it probably wasn’t all that small. Maybe I really didn't know what to expect. Based on the size of the ship, and the movies I'd seen, I thought the rooms would be bigger. Where I had been overwhelmed by the ship when we first boarded, now I was slightly disappointed. But, I reminded myself, this wasn’t exactly a hotel and I suppose the idea wasn’t to spend all your time cooped up inside when there was a whole world floating by.
I brushed past him, feeling the warmth emanating from his body, conscious of just how close he was as I moved forward. He said something to the porter behind us, and I surveyed the room, as small as it was.
One bed.
One, single, queen-sized bed. My heart pounding in my throat, I took a deep breath as I turned to face Antonio. The moment of truth.
He had stepped in behind me with our carry-on bags. He set his briefcase and computer on the queen bed and smiled over at me.
"Don't look so worried," he said, laughing as he handed me my overnight case. He stepped past me, through a door I thought led to the balcony. "I'll let you have the private suite."
Private suite? I followed him through the doorway, surprised to see it led to a small sitting area, complete with sofa, television and a small desk. The mini-fridge was set next to the desk, and it even had a small wet bar.
On the table stood an ice bucket chilling a bottle of champagne, with a festive basket of fresh fruit sitting nearby.
The far wall was floor-to-ceiling windows, opening out to the ocean.
"Oh, a balcony!"
Antonio laughed, "Veranda, technically, but yes, our own private outdoor area."
"Is this what all the rooms are like?" I swept my eyes around the charming self-contained suite. Nice, compact, not overly ostentatious. I must have sounded like a breathless school girl, but honestly, it was all so new, and I didn't know what to expect.
"Oh, it depends. This is about mid-grade. Every ship has a variety of rooms, everything from a simple one bed room, all the way up to high-level penthouse suites with multiple bedrooms. Are you disappointed?"
I shook my head. Disappointed? How could I be?
"Good. If there'd been more time, we'd have had one of the penthouses. But this was a last minute trip, and I used my influence with the cruise line to get us this instead of a single room. We were lucky it was available."
Antonio opened a door on our left, giving a small flourish with his hand. "Your suite, my lady," he smiled at me with those sultry, teasing eyes. The room held two double beds and a bath. In one corner there was a tiny make-up sitting area that could double as a desk.
I'm sure my face registered my relief. I couldn't help it. I mean, I knew the circumstances of why I was here. And this man made my heart pound every time I was around him. But still, I'd hoped to not have to face everything too early on.
“Here.” Antonio reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. “This is for you.”
He handed me a card, along with a key to the room.
I stared at the flat piece of plastic in his hand.
“It’s a pre-paid credit card, good anywhere onboard the ship. I’ll be pretty busy for much of the trip—especially these first few days. I want to make sure you enjoy yourself.”
I took the card. “Enjoy myself?”
“Yes,” he said, his lip curving up into that teasing little smile of his. “Enjoy yourself. I'm sure you're feeling rushed. Everything about this trip has been rushed, even for me." He glanced at his watch. "And that means right now I've got other things to attend to. So, please forgive me, but I need to leave you on your own for a while. I'll see you this evening around five. We have the early seating for dinner.”
And with that, he turned and walked out of the room leaving me to stare after him. I heard the outside door click shut, then looked down at the card still held in my outstretched hand.
Chapter Seven
I traced a finger along the railing, gazing out over the water at the pristine sapphire waves. We’d set sail about two hours earlier. After the luggage arrived, it hadn't taken me long to unpack.
But, sitting in the room by myself, wondering about Antonio's swift retreat and what that might portend for the rest of the cruise wasn't my idea of a good time. Some small part of me wondered if I’d somehow already done something wrong. It didn't seem likely, and I was probably over-thinking everything in my nervousness, so I decided a walk would be the best thing to clear my head.
The fresh air felt good against my skin. And the sunshine certainly helped my mood. I was glad Maria had convinced me to bring my camera. I raised it to my eyes, zooming in on a bird drifting lazily through the air. I snapped a few pictures, trying to catch the full wingspan level with the horizon.
“You’ve got a good eye,” said a voice behind me.
I turned to find a middle-aged couple smiling warmly.
“Thank you,” I smiled back.
“You should spend some time on the port side tomorrow morning,” said the woman, leaning against her partner as he slipped an arm around her waist. “The view will be lovely.”
“Trust us,” said the man, “We do this cruise almost every year.”
Watching them together, I felt a pang of envy. They looked so happy. They looked like – well, they looked like a regular happy couple enjoying a Caribbean cruise together. The complete opposite of whatever it was Antonio and I were supposed to be. I sighed. There was that question again, bringing the butterflies back.
“Thank you,” I said, mustering another smile, though this time, I didn’t quite feel it. “I’ll remember that.” I turned and hurried away, feeling self-conscious and a bit foolish, even though they couldn't know anything about my arrangement with Antonio.
I wasn’t quite sure where I was going, so I just followed my feet until I found myself on an upper deck. I wandered by the pools, and mini golf course, watching all the people laughing together and having a wonderful time.
It was suddenly so surreal—as if I was in someone else's dream. I couldn't even begin to feel like I fit in. My god, why was I here? What had I gotten myself into? Certainly Antonio, with all his contacts and experience, fit in here, but could I? I mean, really, what did I know about world travel? Or even, for that matter about relationships, or… sex? Would I be able to keep up my end of this bargain? Or would Antonio be sorry he brought me along?
I turned away, looking out over the ocean, but not really seeing anything. The contrast between my shipmates focus and my own was so stark—all I felt was a dull ache inside me.
Chapter Eight
I returned to the cabin at around four, giving myself plenty of time to get ready. This was our first night onboard ship. I was still more nervous than I could remember, and I reminded myself there was no going back. Regardless of the circumstances, I still wanted to make a good impression.