by Meesha
It was true he had been there for us and put money in our pockets, but he was far from the man he portrayed himself to be. I put on the front of being against my brothers so they would leave me alone to do what I had to in order to still be on the inside of the crew. When Ricio said they had something to do with the death of my father, I knew it could be true.
Big Jim was an evil man that would do whatever it took to get back at anyone he thought did him wrong. I just didn’t know why he did the things he had done to me. I had never disrespected him in any way. He showed love for me in the streets, but hated me behind closed doors. He had me spooked and I couldn’t say anything about it.
I woke up and went to the bathroom to drain my pipe. I was tired as fuck because I didn’t sleep a wink after what happened last night. I knew that bullets were about to fly, but both sides held their anger in. How they did it was still a mystery to me. it wasn’t over by a long shot, though. This was just the beginning and I knew how dirty Floyd and Big Jim could get.
After washing my hands, I went back into my bedroom and picked up my phone. Going to the contact I was looking for, I pressed the call button and sat on the edge of the bed. When the call connected, I stayed quiet until the person on the other end spoke.
“What the fuck you want so early in the morning, Max?” Beast’s voice bellowed through the phone.
“I need you to get me in the prison to see Big Jim.” I said with my head resting in my hand. “I have to stop this war that Mauricio started. Plus, I need to holla at him about something.”
“Why the fuck you didn’t go to Floyd’s pussy ass to get you in to see yo’ boss? That’s the side you chose, right? Don’t think I forgot I owe you an ass whoopin’ lil nigga. The punks you give yo’ loyalty may accept disrespect but you know I ain’t going for that shit.”
“Beast, I apologize for the shit I said and did. I was pissed because of the way Ricio came at me. When you called, I was pissed off and took it out on you.”
“What the fuck did you expect him to do, Max? You upped a banga on yo’ own muthafuckin’ brother! You lucky he didn’t lay yo’ ass down. Family or not, I would’ve blown yo’ head off. What the fuck you need to talk to this nigga about? I already know it ain’t about the so-called war because that still stands regardless. They violated, ain’t no getting out of that.”
“I can’t talk about it right now. Can you please get me a visit, please?”
“Y’all are on his list, he just don’t know it. There’s no specific day that you have to wait to see that bitch nigga. If you want to go today, you can. But let me make a call so they will be expecting you. One of these days, you will explain what the fuck his ass is dangling over your head, Max. Hit me up when you leave that muthafucka. From this day forth, I want to know your every fuckin’ move. Is that understood?”
“Yeah, Beast. I got it. Thanks, I’ll talk to you in a couple hours.”
“Aight,” he said hanging up.
I sat on the bed and thought about all the shit I had been through for the past couple years. Mauricio and Sosa left me and went to school and my life ain’t been the same since. I died when my parents were killed and nobody knew what the fuck I’d been going through. With Floyd threatening to kill what was left of my family, I had to talk to Big Jim to put a stop to the bullshit.
Raising up from the bed, I went to the closet and grabbed a black and white Nike sweat suit. I wasn’t trying to get all dressed up to go to the prison. As I headed to the bathroom to hop in the shower, my phone started ringing. I walked over to the other side of the room and picked it up and slid the button to the right.
“Yeah,” I said into the phone.
“Everything is a go, remember what I said. Max.” Beast said before hanging up.
I took a quick shower, dressed, and grabbed my keys, and wallet jetting out the crib. As I was hopping in my car, Floyd was pulling into the driveway. I didn’t have time to fuck around with him, I had somewhere to be and he was not about to stand in the way of it. Opening the driver’s door, I got in and shut the door while I inserted the key.
Floyd got out of the car and I backed up without looking at him. My phone started ringing and I glanced down at the screen. It was him calling but I didn’t even attempt to answer the call. The phone kept ringing back to back like it was a bitch trying to find out where I was. Fuck Floyd, this shit was about to be over as soon as I talked to Big Jim.
The text chime filled the car and I reached over and turned the radio up loud. I found the rap station on Sirus radio and let the music entertain me for the entire two hours I was driving. My thoughts were making me angrier by the minute and I couldn’t wait to get my chance to confront Big Jim.
My mind wandered back to the day of my father’s funeral. It was as if I was having an out of body experience because I could hear the organ playing, the choir singing, and my mother’s loud wails. I looked on as me and my brothers tried to console my mother the best that we knew how and it was breaking my heart all over again.
Taking my eyes off my mom, they landed on the black casket that sat in the front of the church. I still couldn’t believe my father was laying in there cold as ice and I wouldn’t see him again after that day. Feeling my eyes water, I tried to think about something besides the funeral, but I couldn’t.
At that moment, I saw a young me running out of the sanctuary toward the restrooms. Mauricio started walking up the aisle to follow me and Big Jim stopped him. He nodded his head as Big Jim patted him on his shoulder and went back to my mother’s side. Big Jim went in the direction I had gone and found me laid out on the floor, crying my eyes out.
As I watched Big Jim console me, I was seeing firsthand how he touched me inappropriately the very first time. He disrespected my father on the day of his funeral, in the church where his body laid in a casket. Forcing me to stroke his dick, then rubbed it against my lips. The only reason he didn’t go further was because someone was coming toward the bathroom. Big Jim went into the stall to fix his clothes as if nothing was going on. He then led me back into the church and sat me beside him while he played in the back of my pants. Big Jim threatened to kill my whole family if I told anyone about what happened that day. That was when my life became a nightmare.
A car horn brought me back to the present and I almost ran into the back of a semi-truck. Swerving to avoid a collision, God was on my side because there wasn’t another car in the next lane. I pulled over on the shoulder of the road and sat for a few moments. I needed to clear my mind before I killed myself. Looking at the GPS, I still had forty-five minutes to go before I would arrive at the prison.
Thoughts about the things I wanted to say to Big Jim overpowered my mind while I sat on the side of the highway. If he didn’t agree to call off the war against my brothers, I’d have to give him an ultimatum of my own. But what if he doesn’t accept? What would I do then? He would probably get mad and want to kill me too. I didn’t give a fuck at that point. It had been long overdue and I didn’t have a choice at that point. Fuck getting ready, I needed to be ready. Thinking to myself, “there was nothing he could do to me with a guard close by.” Everything would have to be put on the table and I’d go from there. Pulling back onto the highway, I gave the road my full attention as I followed the directions to my destination.
When I pulled up in the parking lot of the prison, my mind screamed at me to back out and drive away. The fear for the man that I was going in to see came out full force. I tried calming myself but it wasn’t working. My hands started shaking hard and my breathing quickened. I was having a hard time catching my breath and I’d never had any problems like that before. I was more afraid of what would happen to my brothers once I said what I knew I’d have to say to Big Jim.
The walk to the door felt like forever. I went to the counter and gave the woman behind the counter all the information she asked for. After she gave my ID back, I was instructed to sit until someone came out to escort me to the back. The guard called my name an
d I rose from the chair and walked where he was standing. He barely searched me before he led me to a small room that looked like an interrogation room.
“Carter will be brought out shortly. Would you like anything to drink while you wait?” he asked.
“Nah, I’m good.” I said sitting back in the chair.
“Tell Beast, Chuck said what’s up when you talk to him.” he said leaving out closing the door behind him.
“Damn, Beast’s reach is long as fuck.” I thought to myself. I’d been sitting in the room for maybe thirty minutes before I heard movement outside the door.
“Who the fuck is here to see me on a muthafuckin’ Wednesday, Chuck?”
“Man, I was told to bring yo’ ass down here. That’s all the fuck I know. I’ll be right outside the door, all you got to do is tell me when you’re ready to end the visit.” Chuck said opening the door.
Big Jim entered the room with his hands cuffed in front of him. I glanced up and the scowl that he had on his face turned into a smile. My stomach started churning and I instantly felt the bile trying to come up. I closed my eyes and the images behind them had me shaking my head trying to erase every last one of them, it didn’t work.
“What’s up, Maxie?” he said with a chuckle as he sat down in the chair across from me.
“Don’t call me that, Big Jim. I was named Maximo, not Maxie. Stop calling me that shit!”
“You didn’t seem to mind when I was on the outside. What’s the difference now?” he asked cockily.
“The difference is, you can’t act on your sadistic ways in here. I need you to call off Floyd and the rest of the crew. They are talking about killing my brothers and I won’t sit back and let that happen.
He laughed long and heartily while clutching his stomach. “What the fuck you mean you won’t let it happen? Nigga, you ain’t got no muthafuckin’ say so in the matter! You got the game fucked up! Yo’ brother disrespected me after everything I’ve done for y’all, then he tried to steal my money—”
“Big Jim, Mauricio wasn’t stealing from you—”
“If yo’ punk ass ever interrupts me when I’m talking again, I will kill you, bitch!” he snapped. “Ricio needs to be taught a fuckin’ lesson and he is going to get it. I don’t know what the fuck you thought coming here was gon’ do. I’m not calling off shit! His ass is good as dead, nigga.”
“Please, man! Don’t do this shit. I don’t have anybody left but them, I’ve already lost my parents, I can’t lose them too.” I was on the verge of tears because he wasn’t willing to even consider what I was asking him.
“What the fuck are you going to do for me to save your brothers?” he asked while smirking at me. “I haven’t felt yo’ lips on my dick in a while. Give me that satisfaction right now, and I’ll call that shit off today.”
“I’m not doing none of that shit willingly! I didn’t enjoy none of what you made me do for years! Why the hell did you do me like that, Big Jim? I need to know! The things you did to me got me out here fucking bitches left and right trying to figure out if I’m actually gay! You molested me, nigga! With a fucking gun to my head every time! Now you want to sit up here and act like I was your boy toy on purpose!”
“I did that shit because your daddy was a bitch ass nigga! You were paying for him treating me like a low budget street nigga. I got at his ass when I had his muthafuckin’ head blown off and took over his shit. I chose you to take this dick up the ass because I’m still pissed at him. Since I couldn’t bring him back to life and kill his ass again, I opted to fuck his weak ass son and get away with it. You will continue to do what the fuck I say and you better not tell a soul what the fuck I had you doing. Am I clear?”
Hearing him admit he had my father killed, did something to me. The anger that built up inside me was ready to come out. I knew I couldn’t do anything to him in the prison, but I was ready to tarnish his name in the streets.
“Nah, you not clear. You won’t stop what the fuck is planned for my brothers, that means I have to ruin yo’ ass in return. Everything that you did to me will be known on the streets. I don’t give a damn what people think happened, or if they think I’m gay. The truth will be told. Don’t think I don’t know that yo’ ass is a down low nigga because I do. There were plenty of nights I heard you and that nigga Floyd moaning passionately in each other’s ears. You had a whole nigga but you wanted to fuck with me!”
“Somebody is mad now, huh? I’m gon’ tell you this, Maxie. If you think you are going to put my business in the street without any repercussions, think again. You are a dead man walking right along with yo’ brothers. Don’t go back to my house, you no longer live there. I hope you saved up some money because yo’ dealing days are over with me. You can starve to death and I wouldn’t give a fuck. The first person that says that Big Jim is a homo, your head is going to be delivered to your muthafuckin’ brothers in a cardboard box. Don’t ever bring yo’ ass back around me, nigga! Chuck let me out of here before I kill this punk!” he said standing up.
Big Jim had the look of death in his eyes as he stared at me. For the first time in years, I wasn’t scared of him. He wanted to play tough, then I was ready to do what I had to do to blow up his spot. Fuck him and Floyd, I wasn’t taking shit off them no more.
Chapter 12
Sosa
I was up putting the finishing touches on Ricio’s surprise party. Truthfully speaking, I wanted to cancel this shit altogether because I knew that nigga Floyd had something up his sleeve after I rocked his punk ass. But Reese didn’t raise no bitch niggas, we would have to be ready whenever them niggas came for us. I was ready to light the city up and make it look like the Fourth of July.
Max was making my ass itch with his soft ass. I was going to need him to listen to what the fuck we were saying to him. He knows something because he has been acting differently for a while now, I just couldn’t figure the shit out. He would have to open up. That would be the only way we could help him. If we didn’t know what was going on, he would continue to deal with whatever it was on his own.
My phone started ringing next to my laptop, I glanced at it and it was Max. I snatched it up and answered it. “Max, what’s up, brah?”
“Sosa, I need to lay my head at yo’ spot for a minute. I’ll explain everything when I get to you in a couple hours.”
“What the fuck happened, Max?”
“Brah, would you just take my word, I will explain shit when I get back to the city!” he yelled into the phone before hanging up.
I didn’t know what the fuck he had going on but I couldn’t wait for him to pull up. I was about to call Ricio when my phone started ringing again. He must’ve been reading my mind because he was calling. I didn’t hesitate to answer, I connected the call quick as fuck.
“Ricio, what’s up?” I asked quickly.
“Shit, I was calling to make sure you were straight. What’s going on, you sound nervous. Everything good?”
“I don’t know. Max just called saying that he needed to crash at my spot for a minute but he didn’t go into detail. I’m worried about him, Ricio. Whatever is going on with him didn’t just come about last night, it has to be deeper than that. He will be by here when he gets back to the city.”
“Where the fuck is he?”
“That’s the thing, I don’t know. Before I could ask, he banged on me.”
“Aight, I’ll be through there when I leave the cemetery. I had to come see mama and papí. We will find out what the fuck is going on when he touchdown.”
“Aye, have you talked to Nija? I need to talk to her about something.”
“What the hell you need to holla at her about?” he asked with suspicion.
“If you don’t sit yo’ jealous ass down somewhere, nigga. Answer the damn question.” I chuckled.
“Hee hee my ass, muthafucka. Whatever you got to say to her, you can say to me.”
“Nah, not this time brah. I’ll call her myself.”
“Oh no you won’t! Sh
e’s right here, hold on,” he said. I heard low murmuring for a few seconds before Nija spoke softly into the phone.
“Hey, Sosa. What’s going on?”
“Is his nosy ass looking in your mouth?”
“You know it.” she said laughing.
“Okay, well just listen. I was going to cancel the party because we got some shit going on right now, but I decided not to. Have you had the chance to figure out how you were going to get him to the strip club? Yes or no.”
“No, not yet. But I will.”
“Alright. Remember it’s an all-white event, we’re about to bring his twenty-first in with a bang! We have two days before the party, I’m wrapping shit up and everything will be set to go.”
“Okay, cool. Thanks, brah.”
“That’s my bro and I have to get his mind off things for a bit, let him enjoy his day. He deserves it.”
“Let me go, this fool should be able to tell me what my tonsils look like the way he is all in my shit.” She said laughing.
“Both of you muthafuckas gon’ get beat the fuck up, stop playing with me! Give me my damn phone.”
Nija could be heard laughing in the background, while Ricio was breathing hard into the phone. “Brah, let me find out y’all creeping around. I’ll forget that I’m my brother’s keeper over that one.”
“Stop playing with her and lock her down, nigga. You wouldn’t have to worry about lil shit like that. But for real though, this ain’t that. Get ya panties outta bunch, punk.”
“What is it then?” he asked.
“None of yo’ muthafuckin’ business. Get here, nigga!” I said hanging up.
Ricio was something else. He needed to tell that girl how the fuck he felt about her and claim her. Instead of getting jealous about every damn thing she does. All those other cum banks don’t mean shit to him, I didn’t understand what the fuck he was doing with his sex life. Hopefully he will get it together soon.