"Um... How many sexual partners have you had?" I ask, deciding to turn the tables on him and see how he likes it.
"You want a number? I've never counted," Jared replies cockily.
"I'm not asking for the exact number, just a ballpark estimate. How many partners have you had?"
I watch him as he goes over my question in his head. He looks adorable right now. He's freshly showered and wearing gray sweatpants with a basic white t-shirt. He's not wearing socks, but he has on gray slippers that look like something my grandfather would wear.
"Somewhere between two and three thousand."
I'm stupidly taking a sip of my drink as he says a number I've never expected to hear come out of any person's mouth. My lips part as I spit my soda out in front of me, and it lands all over my lap. Jared jumps from the couch and leaves the room, only to come back with some paper towels. I clean myself up the best I can and sit back on the couch to face him.
"Two to three thousand partners? How is that possible?"
"Well, I had slept with a few girls before I got into this business at nineteen. My first year in porn, I shot a couple different movies each day and never took a day off. Each movie was with a different girl. Some scenes were with two girls. I shot a couple gangbangs and orgies. It slowed down after the first year, because I could start making demands based off my popularity. Now I only shoot four or five scenes a week. A lot of the films I do now are with people I've made films with before, so those don't count. Add all my film partners up, plus the women I fuck for fun, I'd say between two and three thousand chicks."
Just the thought of that number disgusts me. Any attraction I had for him just went out the window. How could someone sleep with that many people? Sex is supposed to be special, between two people who care about each other. To Jared, it's the same as having a conversation with someone. The act of making love to a woman is not important to him.
"Wow... umm, okay."
"Now it's your turn. How many people have you slept with?" Jared asks me, repeating his question from before.
"One," I answer proudly.
"One? So you may not be a virgin, but my conclusion of you looking virginal isn't that far off."
"Sex is important to me, it should be special. I can't just have sex with anyone," I say, needing him to understand where I'm coming from.
"You're making it more than it has to be. We're all mammals who have basic needs. One of those needs is to fuck each other's brains out. Some women misconstrue that and want to make it more than it is, but it's not. Sex is a part of our human nature. We should be able to be with whoever we want in order to get our urges met. If I see a woman I'm attracted to, I make it my job to fuck her, because that's what my dick wants."
"I'm guessing you've never had a girlfriend?"
He laughs and takes another bite of his pizza.
"I have, but they know my beliefs. I'm a man, and my job is to have sex with women on camera. I'll never give that up. As long as they are okay with that, then I'll be monogamous when I'm not working. But my job is my job, so they have to be okay with me fucking other women at work."
"What if they aren't okay with it?"
"If they're not okay with it, we don't date. No hard feelings."
I turn back to watch the game, not really knowing how to continue a conversation with him after that. When the second period ends I get up and take my dish to the sink. I walk back over to Jared to excuse myself.
"I'm going to go to bed. I'll be job hunting tomorrow so you hopefully won't have to deal with me for much longer."
"I told you, you could stay here."
"I know and I appreciate it, but I don't want to wear out my welcome. Hopefully I'll only be here a week, two at the most."
He shrugs his shoulders and turns back to watch the game. "Whatever, you can stay as long as you need. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," I move to walk up the stairs and back to Tawny's bedroom.
I'll get a good night sleep tonight, do a quick online search for some jobs in the morning, and start applying in the afternoon. I know it's a Sunday, but any job I would need for just the summer will be open on a Sunday. Hopefully I'll have something lined up by the end of the day.
★★★
Sunday morning gets off to a bumpy start. I wake up with a headache and when I come down to the kitchen to make coffee, I can't figure out how to work the machine. Then I'm blindsided by a completely naked woman walking into the kitchen, obviously thinking no one would be in here. After we exchange brief and awkward pleasantries, she shows me how to work the coffee machine, before going back upstairs to Jared's room. Still naked.
I enjoy my cup of coffee at the kitchen table before going upstairs to shower and get ready. By the time I make it back downstairs and am ready to search the Internet, Jared's in the kitchen and his morning companion is gone.
"Sorry about this morning. Dee said she ran into you in the kitchen," Jared says from the kitchen table. I walk over to sit next to him.
"No worries, I was just a little shocked that you had someone over. It was late when I went up last night."
Jared takes another sip of his coffee before speaking. "Well, we didn't end up shooting a scene yesterday and I never go a day without sex, so I called up Dee to help relieve the build up in my cock."
The look on his face tells me he's saying this for shock value. He likes embarrassing me.
"You're a pig, you know that?"
"I do," he smiles as he gets up with his coffee. "I'm leaving shortly to get some work done at my production office. My laptop's in the living room and I left a note with a few job websites you can check out. I also wrote down the access code to my garage so you can get your car, and my phone number if you have any problems getting in and out."
I get up to follow him out of the room.
"Thanks, Jared. I appreciate all the help."
"No worries," he mumbles.
I watch as he takes the stairs two at a time, until he reaches the second floor. I make my way into the living room and turn on the laptop. While I'm waiting I read the note he's left me on the yellow legal pad. His chicken scratch writing is barely legible, but the fact that he took the time to do this is endearing.
I spend the next two hours surfing the Internet to find the best places that are hiring for summer help. By noon I'm ready to go so I follow Jared's directions and I'm out of the house in no time.
I don't know my way around Los Angeles so thank God for GPS.
Part of me thinks looking for a job is a bad idea. Am I really planning on staying out here, or is this just a temporary move? Am I doing this to get back at Brock? No, I've barely thought about him since I left Michigan.
Winnie's right, there's nothing for me in Michigan and I never dreamed of staying in South Haven my whole life. California was always one of the places I wanted to move to. It seems so glamorous to me. I could apply for a class so that I'm certified to teach in the state of California, and then look for a teaching job once I'm certified. This could work out.
I go into the job hunt with a positive mindset. Now that I've made the decision to stay in Los Angeles, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I've applied at four retail stores, two restaurants, a secretary position, two personal assistant openings, and a job as a dog groomer. None of these places are that close to each other so it takes up my entire afternoon and most of my evening.
I'm finishing filling out an application at my last place of the night. It's a job at a bail bonds company near a seedier side of town. I wouldn't be so on edge if the sun was still up, but it's a little after eight p.m. and the sun has almost completely set. One of the male bondsmen offers to walk me to my car and I stupidly decline. I don't want to look like someone who can’t take care of myself.
My car is parked on the street a couple blocks down. I didn't think this was a big deal when I parked earlier. Now that I'm walking back, I wish I had parked closer. The darkness engulfs me in and I can hear every n
oise around me. The street has a steady traffic flow, but I’m sure the cars can’t see me on the dark, unlit sidewalk.
I almost make it to my car when I feel an arm embrace me and pull me back into a firm chest. A gloved hand is brought to my face to cover my mouth before I even have a chance to scream. The person is moving me and shoving me against my car door. I can feel my body start to weaken, my breath start to come out faster. I'm panting and having a hard time breathing out of my nose.
The man shoves me even harder against my car with his groin. "This can go easy or this can go hard. Open your car door," the rough male voice demands. How did he know this was my car? Had he been following me?
I can’t think. I know he needs me to open my car door, but I'm so shaken up I can’t remember where my keys are. Are they in my purse? Did I bring a purse? Maybe they're in my pocket.
"I said open the door now or I stop being nice." He loosens his grip around my waist just to yank my arm back with such force; I think he may have dislocated my shoulder. Warm, wet tears start to fall down my cheeks and I'm having a hard time seeing.
"You stupid bitch!" He yells at me. He pulls my purse to him and starts rummaging through it. At this point I hope he just wants to rob me. He can have my wallet.
Unfortunately, that’s not what he's interested in. I try to see through my tears as he pulls my MSU key chain out that has my car keys attached to it. I try to scream, I bite down on his hand, but nothing works. The man is determined to get me in my car. Just as he starts to unlock my door, and I’m convinced I’m a goner, I hear the sweet sound of police sirens.
The next few minutes are a blur. I somehow remember two male officers jumping out of a squad car and taking down my attacker. I remember a female officer asking me if I'm okay, and I'm not. I'm also not able to answer her. I'm then asked if there is anyone they can call for me. Is there? No, I know no one in this town. My sister is over a thousand miles away and I have no friends here. I only know Kelly and Jared.
Jared.
I have his number in my phone. Would he come? I wouldn’t want to inconvenience him. I debate this for a few seconds before the trembling of my body wins out. I really don't want to be alone. I give the female officer Jared's information before she brings me over to the ambulance to get checked out.
A half hour later I'm wearing a sling on my arm and drifting in and out of consciousness from the pain medication the paramedics gave me. My shoulder isn’t dislocated, but I am going to have some nasty bruises in the morning.
"Autumn," I hear a male voice shout from a distance. It's Jared's voice and when I look up I can see him jogging towards the ambulance.
"Are you okay?"
I don’t answer. For some reason his presence is bringing back all the emotions my attacker brought out of me. I start bawling ugly tears.
"Shh..." Jared says as he hops up into the ambulance and joins me on the gurney. He sits next to me and pulls me into his side. His right arm reaches around my shoulder as his left hand comes up to caress my face. "Shh, it’s going to be okay. I'm here," he whispers.
I'm oddly comforted by his words and the touch of his hands on my skin. I turn my head into his shoulder and breathe him in. He smells of cigarette smoke, soap, and mint. Does Jared smoke? It doesn't matter, he smells comforting.
After answering a few more questions from the police and getting my at-home care instructions from the paramedic, I'm free to go home. When I tell Jared I will meet him back at his house, he gently grabs my arm and pulls me towards his car.
"You must be crazy if you think I'm going to let you drive home. You were fucking attacked; you could have been raped or murdered. I'm taking you home and I can get someone to pick up your car tomorrow."
I'm not going to argue with him. Deep down, I don’t want to be alone right now. Jared is being an amazing friend to me and I need this comfort from him.
We drive home in silence. Every once in a while I see Jared grip the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turn white, then he looks at me and visibly relaxes, loosening his grip on the wheel. When we pull up to Jared's driveway, he stops the car and walks around to open the door for me. We make our way into the quiet house and Jared flicks on the lights.
"Stay here, I'm just going to grab a few things from the fridge," Jared says to me as he walks towards the open kitchen area. I nod my head in response and stay standing in the entrance.
A few moments later he's back with two bottles of water and a box of saltines. He carries these in one hand and grabs my hand with his free hand. He loosely grips my fingers as we walk upstairs and down the hallway. Jared brings me into his room and closes the door behind me.
"I thought it would be best if you stayed in here tonight. You're shaken up and on pain medication, and I'm worried about you. I can sleep on the floor if you want, or if you're okay with us sharing a bed, I'll use a separate blanket. I just want you to feel safe tonight."
Jared is being so incredibly sweet to me. I never would have imagined such a playboy would have such a tender heart towards me. The truth is, I don't want to be alone. Every time I close my eyes, I see my attacker and feel his hand across my mouth, his groin digging into my back. I need the comfort that Jared will bring me.
Not trusting my own voice to speak, I move towards his bed and lay on the side furthest from the door. Jared lifts the comforter and I nestle down into a comfortable position. He lowers the comforter back on me before stripping down to his boxers and joining me in bed under the covers.
"Are you thirsty? Hungry? I brought some crackers to help settle your stomach and some water to keep you hydrated. You really should probably eat something."
Jared seems nervous, like he is afraid of possibly saying the wrong thing.
"I'm not hungry, but I'll take the water. My throat is incredibly dry."
"Okay, Billy," he says as he hands me a bottle of water. I open the cap and guzzle down all twenty ounces in the plastic bottle. When I finish, I put the bottle on the nightstand and turn in his direction. We're both lying on our sides facing each other.
"I'm afraid to close my eyes and go to sleep. I keep reliving what happened in my mind. What if the cops hadn't shown up, Jared? I would have been just another statistic if the cops had shown up a few moments later."
I'm starting to work myself back up again, but luckily Jared is here to bring me back down.
"You can't think about the what ifs, babe. You made it through for a reason. The man upstairs was looking out for you and you should remember that. Live for that." Jared reaches his hand out and gently strokes my exposed arm.
"You believe in God?" I ask him, shocked.
"Don't seem so surprised. Something had to create us and I've got to believe there is something out there better than this life."
Jared's voice drifts off, almost as if he's in another place and time.
"Jared?" I ask him tentatively. "You seem like you have the life, you seem happy. Isn't it every guy's dream to be a porn star?"
He laughs and moves his eyes back to me. "It wasn't my dream. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and I'm very happy. I couldn't see myself doing anything else, but it wasn't what I dreamed of being when I was a kid. I didn't decide to do this until I moved to L.A. and fucked an adult film star. She thought I was..." Jared drifts off and looks away, almost embarrassed. "Lets just say she was impressed with my talent and I had the looks to go along with it."
I smile shyly at him. This isn’t the first time I've heard about his "talent". My sister couldn't stop talking about it.
"Enough about me, how about you? What do you do?" Jared asks me.
"Nothing at the moment. Today was supposed to be the day I walked for my graduation. I just graduated from MSU with a degree in Secondary Education. I want to be a teacher."
"Huh."
"What?"
"Nothing," Jared laughs as he sinks further under the comforter.
"No, that huh meant something. What?"
"Nothing, it's jus
t that, I never had any teachers who looked like you. If I had, I might have wanted to stick with my education, and I definitely wouldn't have ditched as much."
My cheeks feel warm and I'm glad it's dark in the room; otherwise Jared would be able to see the blush covering my cheeks.
"Are you... Jared, are you saying you think I'm good looking?" I ask him, immediately embarrassed that I said something.
"Don't act so surprised, you know you're a catch. I'd have to be blind not to think you weren’t attractive. The whole innocent thing you got going for you adds to the attraction."
"Now you're saying you're attracted to me?" I'm not sure where this conversation is going, but I kind of want to find out.
"No, I said I could see the attraction. Let's talk about something else."
I yawn, feeling very tired after the long day I've had.
"What’s your favorite movie?" I ask him. I want to get to know him a little better.
"I'm not a favorite movie kind of guy, but one of the best movies I've ever seen is Requiem for a Dream. That movie is intense and brilliant. You've probably never seen it."
"I have actually. It was during my Jared Leto phase. I was glad I watched it. I balled my eyes out during it and the movie stuck with me for weeks. I was in a movie hangover and couldn't find anything remotely comparable. It was brilliant."
I can see the intrigue in Jared's eyes, "I'm... it's the little things that amaze me sometimes."
I smile, knowing he's talking about me.
We stay up and talk for half the night, mostly about trivial things, but Jared does a great job of keeping my mind off the attack. I don’t remember when I fell asleep, or if I fell asleep first, I just remember the feeling I had right before I'm dead to the world.
I feel like I'm home.
Chapter Four
I have to pee. These are my thoughts as I'm slowly waking up to the world. The sun is bright and I'm incredibly warm under the thick comforter. I open my eyes and take a look at my surroundings. I’m in an unfamiliar room. Right, I'm in Jared's room.
Changing His Game Page 4