And then darkness overtook my consciousness.
Chapter Thirty
~Naminé~
The morning dew still clung to the blades of the tall grass as we rose from our slumber. I was growing accustomed to sleeping during the night. We awoke to a glorious day, and never before had I felt as amazing as I did after last night’s events.
We resumed our journey straight away. Stepping over a fallen log, Rydan took my hand to help steady me. We were back in the protection of a large forest.
After traveling the entire morning, Rydan was certain we were finally close to his Fëa. Calen had acquired some bread from a nearby village for us, and therefore we ate as we continued to walk.
Rydan hummed his beautiful song. My smile that stretched from ear to ear could not be helped. It reminded me of the incredible honor Rydan bestowed upon me. It must have felt intrusive to let someone connect with your mind in that way, yet Rydan had allowed me to. I would be forever grateful to him for his heartwarming gift.
We emerged from the forest. Before us lay a large bog.
“We’re close. I don’t know how, but she’s here,” Rydan reported. “She’s distressed.”
I followed him closely as he led the way around the bog. He halted suddenly. I set my eyes on the object he had his sights on.
A house made out of stone. I did not know whom it belonged to, but nonetheless, we stumbled upon someone’s home. It sat solitary in the middle of two large trees. Moss covered every surface.
We heard a rumbling snarl, followed by short whimpering from behind the structure.
Rydan immediately took off running toward the noise.
“Rydan! Be careful!” I warned.
We came around the corner. An enormous white tigress with grey stripes paced back and forth, panting. It had a rather large iron chain around its neck that fastened to a heavy ring set in stone.
“My god,” Rydan exhaled. The tiger reacted instantaneously to seeing Rydan by making a sort of chuffing sound repeatedly. He sprinted to the animal, but to my alarm, was then scooped up in a trap. The rope turned him upside down by the ankle, hanging in the air by a branch.
“Rydan!” I shouted.
“Halt!” an old, craggy voice ordered from behind. I turned to see an ancient looking female exiting her abode. “Do not take another step.”
“Please, let them go!” I beseeched.
“Oh, quit your bellyaching!” Her voice was scratchy and frightening. “I shall do what I want, when I want! What is it you are doing here?”
Rydan reached up and cut the rope that had ensnared him. He fell to the hard ground below. I knelt beside him in worry.
“Let her go!” he roared, pointing to the tiger.
“And why should I? Who are you to have a say in what I keep and do not keep?” she spat out ferociously.
I stood up proudly. “You are speaking to Prince Rydan Cael of Aselaira, son of our fallen King Remydan! You owe him the utmost respect and allegiance.”
She cackled humorlessly. “I owe him nothing,” she spat again, wiping her mouth. I realized then that she was a rogue elda—Not belonging to any one Kingdom. She dwelled in the forest in solitary. She lived her life savagely.
Eldas as a species were thought of as graceful and elegant. We lived by higher standards than our neighboring kind. Yet she chose to not live by our ways. She stood there in dirty rags and tangled hair. The grace of our people abandoned her. I didn’t believe I had ever seen an elda with such an appearance before.
“I’m not leaving here without her,” Rydan warned, referring to the tiger.
“What will you trade for her?” the she-elda tried to bargain.
“Nothing. You will just hand her over to me,” Rydan replied confidently.
A rush of wind suddenly came upon us on the still, warm evening and sent so many leaves pattering down that I for a moment thought it to be rain. I held my breath in anticipation of what her reaction was to be.
She fidgeted slightly for a moment. And then too fast for normal eyes to see, she whipped her hand out in front of her and sent a fireball flying ablaze toward Rydan.
I was too stunned to have any sort of reaction. Rydan was quicker than her, for he had already lifted his sword in front of his body to deflect the fireball right back at her in return.
She dodged the attack and sent another one hurling in my direction.
I eluded the attack by jumping behind a tree with not a second to spare. It blazed into the trunk, shaking it to its roots.
Grumbling, she hurled several balls of fire at both Rydan and myself, leaving no opening for us to do any sort of counterattack. The tiger paced back and forth in agitation, roaring and hissing.
I felt Calen dive from her place in the sky and light a line of fire at the she-elda’s head.
She screeched in horror and patted at her singed hair. It provided Rydan an opportunity to release an arrow straight for her heart.
He did not miss.
Rydan dropped his longbow at his feet. Using the sword, he hammered down on the chain, striking it until it finally broke.
With the tigress now free, she tackled Rydan to the ground in a most heartwarming embrace. Tears stung my eyes watching their blessed union.
Rydan wrapped his masculine arms around the tiger as if he had been waiting for this moment all of his cycles of life. And I supposed he had been. All Maite’Ona to exist need their Fëa counterpart like the oxygen we breathe.
“Lómë,” he whispered into her white fur. She made a unique type of sound that I took to mean contentment or joy.
Lómë’s eyes were bluer than the sky, and then would shift into bright silver, matching Rydan’s. I believed her paws to be even larger than my head. She was beautiful. To have witnessed this most precious union was certainly a gift, and a memory I would forever treasure.
Calen flew to my shoulder, where she perched affectionately. I caressed her purple-red feathers and could not be happier than I was in this moment.
Chapter Thirty-One
~Nari~
I turned onto my side. The harsh cold stone of the prison cell ground made my bones and muscles cry out in pain, but I ignored it. I was once again clothed. I was at least happy about that.
That was how I woke up. I guessed I slept through the entire journey back to the Edhel-N’dor Castle—Home of the Isil’Elda.
Lovely.
I was now a true prisoner. The small cell was dank and dark. It smelled of rotten fish and musty dirt. I couldn’t see much outside my stone door. It only had two small windows made out of iron bars—in the middle of the top, and in the middle of the bottom. Gloomy was an understatement. It was utterly depressing. No sun could reach this part of the castle. I assumed the dungeons were underground, dimly lit by torches, and probably impossible to escape.
I was certain my hanging would be coming up soon, but I could not seem to muster up the slightest ounce of concern. I didn’t care. I deserved it for what I had done. I betrayed my people by healing their enemies, only to have them in turn murder an entire village—Murder my friends. It was my fault because I had let them live. Because I gave them back their lives. I couldn’t take it.
Closing my eyes, I imagined being at the Weeping Willow with Rydan. Laying on the soft, thick grass below the dancing branches. They would sway above my face, playing in the sunlight. I could still feel the wind blowing through my hair.
I reached out to Rydan lying beside me and took his hand. He hummed his usual tune. Turning toward me, he smirked. I smiled back. I missed him so much. I missed those moments so much.
A tear fell to the dirt below. I squeezed into a ball on the ground. The fetal position always felt the best when you were at your worst. Why was that?
Mycah came to mind immediately. The way he so easily killed my people right in front of me—the way he didn’t care—sent a rush of nausea through me. I was so disappointed in him. So hurt. Confused. Betrayed. I couldn’t stop myself from releasing my pent up a
nger on him. For that moment, I did hate him. It felt impossible to ever forgive him. How could I? The images of him slaughtering innocent Tavas’Elda was permanently burned into my retinas and branded on my heart.
Even more than that, I was disappointed in myself. I let emotions control me. The need for vengeance controlled me. I had lost all sense of restraint as my rage took over. I, too, killed so many people. I didn’t like the person I was in those furious moments.
I cringed uncontrollably. I could never be saved from myself.
So many thoughts went through my head at once; it was hard to focus on any specific one. But one thing I knew—my grandfather would be ashamed of me. My parents would be ashamed of me. Rydan would be ashamed of me. I was a murderer.
I was ashamed of myself.
My atrocities were everywhere. They surrounded me, screaming. Reminding me of what I had done.
I couldn’t escape.
There was no escaping yourself.
“Do not despair, dear one,” a quiet, strained voice came from across the way.
“But I have every reason to,” I replied, not moving an inch.
“Does such one ever have a reason, when they still claim life? It could always be worse, my child.”
“If you’re referring to death, I’d almost rather that,” I whispered.
He clicked his tongue in chastisement. “That can only be described as the easy path. You cannot grow that way.” He coughed violently, making me lift my head. I couldn’t see him through the darkness.
“I don’t deserve to live. I’ve...done such horrible things,” I whimpered.
“Ah,” he started, “I see. And, if you had the ability to go back and do differently, would you?”
I stayed silent, chewing over that question.
“Hm?” he urged when I didn’t respond. But I was at a loss on how to answer.
“I’m...not sure. Either way, people would die, so I guess not,” I hung my head.
“And had you done what you must?” He coughed again, like it was a real strain to hold a conversation.
“I betrayed my people. And because of it, the ones I helped ended up murdering an entire village of innocent lives. I went mad. I killed people in revenge. A lot of people lost their lives. I lost all control over myself. But they were also killing my own kind! I had no choice!” I tried to justify my actions, but that only made me feel guilty. Could you really justify murder?
“My dear child. It is always regretful when any creature perishes. It does not matter who they are or where they came from. Death is death. It is never fair or kind.”
“I know. I feel so horrible,” I cried.
“Do not be so weak! You must be stronger than that. If you are to have any chance, you cannot let your emotions of despair and grief control you. You must not let it consume you! You cannot let the hatred overwhelm your ability to know right from wrong. You did what you had to do to survive. For your kin to survive. But do not let it go further than that. This is a time of war. It is now the time to assume a stand. We must fight for our freedom. We must fight for goodness.
“It is imperative that we lift this Kingdom back from destruction. There is only one way to do it. Only time will tell when our one hope succeeds.”
I didn't respond after that. I let his words sink in and soothe me. I could feel he was right. This was war. I hated seeing death—I hated being responsible for those deaths. But I would feel worse if I didn’t defend those who were good, if I didn’t defend my family. I couldn't regret what I had done.
We stayed silent, and I quickly drifted off to sleep.
“Vasa,” a small voice said from outside my prison door, stirring me awake.
I turned from my spot on the floor to see a small bowl of a watery soup substance and a piece of bread get set inside my cell.
It reeked of fish and seawater.
“Vasa,” a girl said again across the way before turning around and leaving the way she came. I must be at the very end of the line of cells.
“Are you feeling better, child?” the male prisoner across from me rasped.
“A little bit,” I answered truthfully. “It isn’t easy getting over that kind of violence. My emotions went completely haywire. I’m not used to it. I used to be so...submissive.”
“You are from the Earthly realm, are you not?”
“Yes, that’s right. Kennebunkport, Maine.”
“What is your name?” he asked.
“I was advised not to speak of it,” I answered skeptically.
“Ah, I see. That is probably for the best.”
“May I ask you something?” If I had to be stuck in this hellhole, I might as well try and learn something. Cathar hadn't known the answer, but maybe this guy would.
“You may.”
“Well, sometimes...when bad things are happening, my emotions take over, or my defense mechanism comes out. I’m not sure what causes it exactly, but I hear voices in my head. The first time it was in Elvish. I spoke Elvish. I hadn’t known a single word before or after that instance, yet—it happened. Do you know why?”
“That was assistance from your Fëa, child. You have a very strong gift if that is the case,” he answered dutifully.
“Wait—my what? What does that mean?”
“Are you to say you have no knowledge of the Fëa, yet you have used its power?” he scoffed.
“I guess.” I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Child, the Fëa is part of your soul. Your soulmate. You cannot function properly without them. It is critical for you to go on your journey and discover your one true Fëa. It is a miracle that she has assisted you without any sort of physical bond prior. Incredible!”
“My soulmate is a girl?! Do I like—wait...What are you saying? I don’t have to be with this girl do I?” This was way too weird.
“Only the gifted elda are born with a Fëa counterpart. They are always an animal, never a fellow elda.”
“An animal?” That was so freakin’ cool. “What kind of animal?”
“I do not know. You will not know until you encounter it. Once you meet, you will just know. You will always be able to sense each other. You will always have a connection. It feeds you power. Gives you strength. Gives you comfort. You will never know such loyalty and love again. It is one with the land and one with your soul. Should you or your Fëa die separately, the other will forever live in utter agony.”
“Gosh. Where is yours?”
“I am not a Maite’Ona. I do not have a Fëa counterpart.”
“Oh.” We sat in silence for a while after that. Or at least until another question popped into my head.
“How long have you been in here?”
“For many cycles of time. I can no longer keep count.”
“I’m sorry. May I ask why you’re in here?”
“For many reasons of treason, but to name one, I have been declared a direct traitor of the King. The false King.”
“You know he’s the false king?” I whispered in shock.
“Of course I do, child.” He coughed for a few minutes, wheezing in and out. My heart went out to him.
“Wow. I was told not many people know that. How do you know?”
He chuckled before responding. “I was present at the time of his heinous act of trying to steal the throne.”
“What?! Wait—who are you? What is your name?” I asked urgently.
“Ah, you give me your name young one, and I shall give you mine in return.”
“I am Nariella Woodlinn,” I whispered.
“Yes, I know,” he chuckled. “I only wished to see if I could convince you to say it.”
“What? Really? How could you possibly know who I was?” My heart thumped in my chest. This just kept getting weirder and weirder—And then it hit me.
“I know who you are,” I gasped. “You’re Ender. You’re Mycah’s Guardian.”
“That is correct. You have met my Óre’Dae, have you?”
“Yes,”
I bit out, anger flashing in my heart. I didn’t want to think about him.
“Then our hope has come at long-last. I knew he would come.” His voice grew quiet.
“I don’t know how much hope you should put into him. He’s turned into a monster. He’s killing my people. He used to care about me—but not anymore.” I clenched my fists.
“I see. That is most disheartening, and my dear Rydan? What has come of him?”
“He was here. In the castle. Ohtar captured him, but then I guess he escaped. Oh, and with Naminé. They both escaped, but I haven’t heard anything about them since. It’s been a while since then.”
“My dearest Naminé! I have been so concerned for her. I am thrilled to hear of her well-being. Do not fret, dear child. If she is with Rydan, she is in good hands.”
“Are you not worried about Mycah? How could this happen?” I asked, frustration taking over my voice.
“I have faith in my boy. I am not worried.”
“You’re wrong. He’s different now. Ohtar got to him. He’s got his claws sunk deep in his heart or something.”
“The war is bigger than you and I, my dear. If Remycah cannot save us, then Rydan is sure to fulfill his purpose. That is all that matters. One of them will succeed. Only time will tell which brother accomplishes the mighty task first.”
I thought about that for a moment. Was that really all that mattered? I cared so deeply for Rydan...and Mycah. Even though I couldn’t admit that right now, I hated knowing he had turned to the dark side. I would hate to think Rydan didn’t make it, even if Mycah did take back the throne. And vice-versa.
I knew I should have been thinking of the greater good. About the Kingdom as a whole—about what was best for the people. Even if that meant being happy that just one of them made it out of this alive.
But I just couldn’t. I couldn’t see the bigger picture. I couldn’t see past my best friend’s life—and Mycah.
I ignored the so-called food sitting on the floor, despite how hungry I was. I felt weakened from not having sustenance in two days. It made me tired. I ended up falling asleep, lost in thought.
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