I tried to laugh at her silliness, but it hurt to. “I’m so glad you’re okay. You’re really taking it exceptionally well. I mean, considering everything you’ve been through.”
It was kind of hard to believe. I had no idea Zaylie was so strong. She was amazing. I’d probably be curled up, broken, and crying in a corner from all that craziness. But that was just me. I was lame like that, and it was something I was desperate to work on. I wanted to be strong like the people I had around me. Eventually, I’d learn how to be.
“It was really hard at first, trust me. The police refused to let it go even though I told them I remember nothing. I don’t think they believe me. I shed many, many tears and blubbered like a little schoolgirl too. But then I realized I am alive. I have my family, I have you. I only have reasons to be happy and grateful. Nothing else. My mum is taking it the hardest, but I know we can get through this together. And my dad did something to get the police off my back, so it’ll be okay, don’t worry.”
“I need to learn from you,” I said light-hearted, but I was totally serious. “We should hang out later. I’m dying to see you and hear about all the details in person. The phone just isn’t cutting it.”
“Yeah, let’s do it. You still have to meet my cousin Lachlan.”
I agreed, and then we went on talking about less heavy topics for an hour or so, until I felt too tired to lift my head. A knock on my door had me opening my eyes, not even realizing I had fallen asleep. It was Mycah.
“Listen, Nariella. I have to go,” his voice was deathly low.
“Wait, what do you mean? Go where?” I stood up way too fast for my condition to handle and fell forward. I caught myself on Mycah’s arms as he reached for me.
“Bloody hell, love. This is getting worse.” He guided me back to the bed.
“No, wait.” I didn’t want the darn bed—I wanted an explanation. “Where are you going?”
“Nariella, we need to get you back to Luïnil. Perhaps it’s a loss of connection to your Fëa that is causing you to feel this way.” He forced me onto the mattress anyway. “Before we rip a new gateway between realms, I need to ensure the Black Eagles are not around. It won’t be protected from them using it, and I cannot have that. I have to go take care of the bodies at the Ëlemmiire and then look for Nikolai.”
“I told you, I’m not going back. If your theory is true, then once you open the portal to Luïnil, my connection to Lissë will be restored either way, so I should be fine after that,” I threw the biggest excuse I could come up with out there. I really didn’t want to go back. Not so soon.
“And if that isn’t the case? It could be anything. You may need a Healer, who the bloody hell knows.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“Mycah, did you forget you already tried that? Using your healing abilities didn’t work.”
“I have the ability to heal, yes. But I am not a Maite’Ona Healer the way you are. It stems from a different place. Either way, I cannot delay redeeming my throne any longer. I’ll be back in a few days to train with Rydan, and then we return to take back what’s ours. Look, we’ll discuss this later on. You’re clearly growing worse, and I’m afraid we don’t have much time to figure out what is happening to you before it is too late.” He turned to leave without any sort of good-bye or kiss. He was acting different and distant, as if he didn’t want to touch me. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked him fast, grabbing his hand. Coldness blanketed me. I didn’t like this. His demeanor prior to speaking with Ender and this very moment was a complete one-eighty difference from each other.
“Nothing is wrong. I just…have to clear off. I’ll be back soon.” The expression on his face was distraught and pained in a way that completely stole my words away. All coherent thoughts just vanished from my mind when I took in the unnamed emotion shining in his eyes. For a second, I almost threw him down with the urge to tie him to my freaking bed, my heart already yearning for him. But I sucked it up and watched as he took one step toward the door. I didn’t want to seem clingy, and yet, my soul was breaking over his behavior.
Mycah’s fingers clung to mine as the space between us grew. Slowly, our skin disconnected once I got too far from his reach. The loss of his touch pained my heart. Nervousness shot through me as I chewed on my thumb. Why? Why did my body react to him so strongly? And what did this “joining” thing that Ender mentioned mean? Was the pain a symptom or something? It was really starting to freak me out.
He doubled back and flew his mouth to mine, grabbing my face. The simple acts of breathing and beating of my heart suddenly halted to a complete stop as he gently kissed me. The careful restraint he grasped so tightly to could be felt undeniably from every muscle in his body. Through the touch of his satin lips, a deluge of sadness overtook me. Mycah’s sadness—I could feel it more than I could feel my own emotions, it was so strong.
When I opened my eyes, he was gone. I was left sitting utterly immobile and paralyzed on the bed as I waited for the shock and hurt to dissipate. But no relief came.
Yeah, I definitely needed answers. Answers from the one person I knew who would give them to me straight.
Chapter Twenty
~Naminé~
My footwear clacked with an echo against the stone path that covered the earthly town. I sipped my hot tea, and the warm liquid slid down into my stomach at the same moment a crisp breeze dashed through my hair. It picked up the fair strands and shuffled them elsewhere.
Rydan had insisted I join him on an outing today. I would not have normally agreed, remembering all too well Ender’s warning, and yet I decided it would be best I go, for I had a great apology to muster. I should not have said the hurtful insult to Rydan whilst at the pianoforte. It was wrong of me, and I knew in my heart Rydan nor Remycah were anything similar to the evil that was Ohtar. They may be of blood relation, and our laws and principles lost to them, but they were opposite of Ohtar. My emotions had been running high over the loss of our way home and the unknown concerning my family. I had to apologize for my horrible behavior.
I learned many things as Rydan took me from place to place, explaining this and that. He elucidated what comics and graphic novels were, what his favorite anime was, and what it all entailed. It was hard to grasp the concept, for I had only experienced a television or sketches come to life on a computerized screen once at the hospital with Ender. We did not have such technologies in Luïnil, but Rydan explained them in detail with great care.
Unexpectedly, I recognized the man who had helped Ender and me to the hospital. He was walking into a shop, so I quickly called out, “Hello again!”
He turned to me with surprise in his eyes as we drew closer. Similar to as before, his eyes appraised the entire length of my body, though unlike last time, I was in regular human clothes that Anna had let me borrow. Before he was able to respond to me, Rydan had him thrown against the side of the building as he quickly shouted, “Get your hands off me, you filthy punk!”
“Rydan, what in heavens are you doing?” I questioned with high alarm. I tugged on his shoulders for him to release the man. “This person helped us! He kindly took Ender and me to the hospital.”
“Sounds like this is your lucky day, Ray. Now that Nariella is out of your care, I promised myself if we ever crossed paths again, I’d do to you exactly what you did to her over the years.” Rydan rammed Ray backward once more with roughness and drew his lips to the side of his ear, whispering, “Except worse.”
Ray struggled to remove himself from Rydan’s hold, but thankfully, Rydan released him abruptly as he said, “I’m giving you this one pass since you helped my friends. But don’t expect it again. Funny…it seems there might actually be a tiny, minuscule heart in there somewhere.” He poked the man in the chest.
“You try anything, boy, and the cops will be on your ass like white on rice.” Ray wiped his forehead.
“Let them. I’m sure they’d love to hear about the town drunk who kept a g
irl illegally at his house for eighteen-years while physically, emotionally, and mentally abusing her. Oh, wait. That’s you.” Rydan took my hand and led me away, leaving the man staring after us. I was beyond confused.
“I cannot believe that happened. Who is he?” I asked once we were at a distance.
“That man is scum. Don’t even waste another thought on him. He raised Nari. Well, sorta. She lived with him all her life, but he was horrible to her. I’m glad you were helped when you needed it, but I wish it hadn’t been by him.” Rydan convulsed and made a “yuck” sound. I suddenly felt sick for Nariella. I had no idea she had been through such a rough childhood.
Eventually, we came to the desolation of our beloved, sacred Ëlemmiire. It hurt my heart as I lowered myself to the cool, dried grass that crunched beneath my touch. Rydan did the same as he held his hot drink with both of his hands. A large area where the tree once stood was now black and piled with ash.
“Look, I don’t want you thinking I don’t care about Aselaira,” Rydan began suddenly. My head lifted in response, listening to what he had to say on the matter. “I do. I really do, but it’s more out of instinct than understanding. I want to uphold whatever traditions you and the people in the kingdom keep close in your hearts and minds, but I don’t know what all that means yet.”
“I know, Rydan. I am truly regretful for my hideousness yesterday. Please forgive me for being so ugly. I was wrong to despair. I was wrong to doubt you.” My eyes seemed frozen on the cup being squeezed between my palms.
“No, you were right. I need to be more respectful. But I don’t want you thinking traditions are more important to me than a person. Or,” his voice lowered, but I heard the next words as if he uttered them directly into my ear, “than you.”
Instantly my eyes found his, an expression of surprise no doubt shown in my face.
“Naminé, I will fight for you. It may be wrong for us to even speak to each other by the end of all this, but that won’t stop me from fighting it every step of the way. I care about what our people want, but I don’t care at the same time when it comes to this. Being with you can’t possibly harm anyone, so what’s it matter?” Rydan kept his mercury irises embedded into mine. “Especially since we can’t even go back anymore.”
“You say that now, but you do not know what may be at stake should you follow through on it. I appreciate the sentiments, Rydan, I do. But I do not hold to hope, for it is folly to grasp at the impossible.” My hands trembled, but I knew it was important to refuse temptation. My heart would fare better in the end. Already it broke in two, but if I let this…whatever this may be between us deepen, then I would for certain shatter like glass. And I did not want either of us hurt.
He shook his head and slid a hand over his scalp back and forth, a small smile tugging on his lips. His dark hair glistened red, illuminated by the shining sun. “I won’t argue with you. Let’s just say we’ll see.”
Calen drew my attention away as she steeped from the sky below the trees, landing on the ground next to Lómë. Rydan’s Fëa cleaned her paws methodically and precisely, but her eyes stayed wide and penetrating. A low rumble sounded from her as her tail whipped back and forth.
“She’s discontent,” Rydan clarified. “I can feel how much she wants to go back home to Luïnil. Back to Aselaira.”
“Yes, I can feel the same resonating from Calen. The Earthly realm is unknown to them, but even more, they greatly desire being connected with the land once again. I know their pain.” I took a few sips of my lukewarm tea that did not hold its heat, unlike back home.
“I miss it, too. I hate that we can’t go back.” He paused for a moment before snickering, “Wow, I never thought I’d say that.”
“Your soul and blood have been reunited with its home. It is only natural for you to feel this way. It is quite a good thing.” I watched as Calen snuggled closer to Lómë, a bond of friendship between the two Fëa already formed. My breath hitched, for this could not last for long, and now not only did Rydan and I have the potential of heartbreak, but our Fëa did as well.
“What’s wrong?” Rydan noticed the pain in my face. I worked to let it go.
“Forgive me; it is nothing. Only a passing thought,” I explained, not wanting to admit what I had been truly thinking. It would be pointless to resurface what we had already laid to rest for the time being. I did not wish to argue either, as he had stated.
“There has to be a way back. There is no way Mycah would abandon Aselaira just like that. I refuse to accept anything else. And once we figure it out, my next problem will be leaving my parents to live there. It’s going to kill them if I leave for good,” Rydan muttered.
My mind also refused to accept that we would not be returning. It did not feel true, and my heart continued to automatically think that we would be home soon enough. Though, I had not thought of Rydan leaving for good until he mentioned it in this moment. I completely forgot about those he thinks of as family—humans that have a place in the Earthly realm. If Rydan returned to his true position in Luïnil, he would have to give up his Earthly home.
And if he were correct in his thinking, that there truly was a hope of us returning, I now feared either way, Rydan’s heart could not escape being broken. He had only yet to realize this himself.
Chapter Twenty-One
~Nari~
Dried, autumn leaves crunched beneath my boots as I made my way around the corner of the O’Malleys’ house to the gazebo in their backyard. The crisp, clean air that only came during the fall swirled over me, caressing my fevered cheeks. I drew in a big whiff, totally loving the smell of burning leaves that wafted in the distance somewhere. I let it soothe my breaking soul and did everything I could to resist letting the hurt over Mycah’s behavior consume me. This was my favorite time of year; I should be enjoying it. But really, who wasn’t in love with autumn?
There was Ender, sitting quietly under the expanse of the gazebo. I had looked all over the house for him, only to have spotted him by chance out the window. The vines that crawled along the beams and overhead were all brown and bare in preparation for winter that was to come. During the spring and summer, flowers of every color embellished the pretty sitting space. Rydan and I used to come out here sometimes as kids, plucking the flowers and sticking them in my hair.
“You should not be with Remycah. It is dangerous. For both sides involved,” his foreign accent made the words sound slightly harsher. He had completely ignored any sort of pleasantries such as a “hi” or “‘sup”…nothing. Not that he’d use such slang, but you know.
Then my heart got hammered to pulp in one instant, wondering if that was the reason Mycah had been so weird. Ender must’ve chewed him out during their little pow-wow. I hated disappointing my father, especially after just meeting him. It was a horrible feeling. But I couldn’t bear the thought of Mycah actually following through on what Ender demanded. Completely end what we had going on between us? Was it even possible? My balance grew unsteady as the notion sunk a little deeper in my mind. Ender waited for me to respond, but I had no idea how to. After struggling to gain a bit of composure, I decided to just dive into the questions I had burning a hole in my brain.
“Ender, what did you mean by Mycah and me joining already?” my voice was cracked and hoarse. I held my breath in anticipation of his answer. This was nerve-racking and I had no clue why.
“Has he not informed you?” Surprise molded Ender’s face. Great, now I felt stupid and naïve.
Shaking my head no, I dropped my eyes to my hands. What, was it really such a big deal that he didn’t tell me? “Should he have?”
“Of course he should have. It is a serious, permanent matter. Your souls—the essence of your beings—they’re joining together the more in love you fall; the closer you become. And our species can only truly love once. We experience lust, desire, and attraction. But there will only ever be one who shall consume our heart. The person we share our soul with,” he explained almost angrily, and
I couldn’t tell for sure, but I got the sense he was a bit frightened by the concept. A normal person should find it romantic and dreamy, but if I were being truthful with myself, I couldn't help feeling a little frightened also. Like father, like daughter?
“I don’t…know what to do. Or say. I don’t want to put anyone in danger or disappoint you, believe me, but how can I stop it? I mean, after everything you just said, can’t you understand why? It hurts just to be apart from him right now.” I tried not to cringe as I drew closer to him.
Ender stood up, covering his face with one of his hands. “No, it cannot be true. This is a catastrophe. Remycah is king over a dying kingdom desperate to be reborn. You are not part of his destiny. You will only make him fail.”
I wasn’t part of Mycah’s destiny? I finally sunk down onto the white, wooden bench of the gazebo, feeling emotionally spent and defeated in so many ways. And exhausted, but that was an entirely different situation.
But it wasn’t only the Mycah issue that distressed me. Now I had to worry about displeasing my newfound relative. The years I spent growing up without a father or mother made me fantasize about a life where I had loving parents. I would dream of playing with a super cool, awesome dad—A man who was the opposite of Ray. Someone strong, supportive, protective, and wise to teach me about life. I’d wish for a father who loved me unconditionally. I missed out on having that special, unique relationship that only a father and daughter got to have. I grew up yearning for it.
And here he was. The father I had been dreaming about all my life, who I incorrectly thought was either dead or wicked for abandoning me, stood right before my eyes. As I looked at Ender—strong, supportive, protective, wise—everything I imagined a father should be like—I couldn’t helping feeling like I was the one shattering his dreams on the ideal daughter scale.
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