“Let’s just do something else. I wanna work on this when I don’t have an audience.” Rydan shoved his hands in his pockets.
Mycah tossed Rydan a sword. “Let’s work on defense and speed then while drawing energy from around you.”
Without hesitation, Mycah raised his blade in attack mode and sliced at Rydan with fast movements. Rydan blocked and ducked, barely saving his head from Mycah’s swings. Mycah barraged his younger brother with hit after hit, their swords clanging together loudly. I worried Ohtar’s hunters would hear, but if Mycah allowed it, then I shouldn’t have to be scared. I trusted he knew what he was doing.
They continued without letup like this for a really long time. Ender joined them every now and then, and so did Naminé. It was entertaining, certainly. Mycah taught Rydan different tricks and tips that I also absorbed for future reference. I gained knowledge by all these little training sessions as well, so I paid rapt attention to each thing that went on before my eyes. I knew these were priceless tidbits that any soldier or warrior would’ve killed for. Fighting tips from a king? Yes, please. And Mycah was unimaginably skilled in battle.
Rydan looked great also. I could see him transforming into an equally skilled fighter. He was definitely getting stronger and more confident with each session they went through.
I stared at the bazillion stars that sparkled above for a moment and thought over what Ender had said about my mother. She was strong and passionate—Things that I wanted to be. I needed to keep reminding myself of that and not lose my confidence in my decision or my determination to carry through in this war. I didn’t like the feeling of a kingdom suffering, and though I had wavered when my own people rejected me, I was glad to be here now on this fight against evil. I had to remember that.
No matter what, it would be worth it in the end.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The familiar death song blared in my nightmare, startling me awake. I lurched into an upright position and clung to both elven-brothers that lay at either side of me, needing each of them for different reasons. Rydan was my security blanket, my rock, but Mycah was my anchor. I needed them both.
“Hey, what is it?” Rydan woke instantly. He probably sensed my nightmares were getting worse. Last night I had fallen asleep without either boy at my side while watching them train.
I hesitated to explain the reason for my haunted nightmares, my mouth falling open then closing with a snap. Rydan knew the reason already, but it’d be the first time the information would fall on Mycah’s ears.
“What are you purposely keeping from me?” Mycah narrowed his eyes at me knowingly, sensing my secrecy.
I exhaled strongly in defeat. I couldn’t take holding it in anymore, and part of me wondered if the reason I was haunted by my actions so badly was because I worried over what Mycah thought of it. He knew what I had done, he saw me kill his people. Did he look at me differently because of it? Shouldn’t he look at me differently? He didn’t treat me differently, but was that just because he was trying to be nice and not hurt my feelings?
“Mycah, I…” I fell backward and threw my arms over my eyes. I hated confrontation like this.
“Nariella, whatever it is, you can tell me.” He pulled my arms away from covering my face.
“Don’t you resent me for killing your people? I mean, don’t you find me a sick, vicious, murderer or something?” I threw my arms back over my eyes and waited anxiously for his answer.
“Is that truly what you’re on about? You’re worried over how I’m getting on with all that?” Mycah once again pulled my arms back and held on to them this time. “Nariella, why would you think that?”
“Because! You didn’t kill anyone, Rydan didn’t kill any of ‘em, and here I am a Tasmanian devil tearing up the entire kingdom with my uncontrollable abilities, murdering left and right! I’m a monster. You should be ashamed of me. You should hate me for it. I know I do.” I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I stared off at nothing, not wanting to meet his or Rydan’s pointed gaze. Their eyes felt like heat lamps on my temple.
“I don’t bloody hate you, love. And I don’t think of you as a monster or anything of the sort. I didn’t kill anyone because I didn’t have to. I had a means to do otherwise.” Mycah slid his fingers through my long hair.
“But I didn’t really have to either,” I whispered, the truth of those words paining my heart.
“Mm, but you did.”
“I what?” My eyes snapped to his then, surprise taking over my voice.
“Our kingdoms are at war. You defended innocent lives, and you defended yourself. Don’t you think had I been in your position I would’ve done the same?”
I couldn’t reply; I just stared at him, my eyebrows pulled together in utter confusion. I didn’t even know how to answer that.
He continued when I stayed silent, my eyes bouncing between each of his. “I wasn’t killing my people because I needed Ohtar and his army to believe I was on their side. I didn’t kill the Tavas soldiers because I don’t agree with the war against them.”
“So, you don’t think I did wrong? You don’t resent me for…killing…your people? When I was about to get executed, you still didn’t kill any of mine.” I held my breath, anxiety buzzing in my scalp and toes.
“No, of course I don’t. There is nothing more sorrowful than war and death on both sides, but there are sides. Listen, lovely.” He pulled me into a sitting position so that our faces were inches from each other. My heart leapt to my throat. “I wish you didn’t have to do what you did when you were here the first time. I wish more than anything lives could be spared. I don’t relish the sight of seeing my soldiers die for an unworthy cause. But what gave me a fright most of all when I witnessed what you’d done is the effect it would have on you. Only you are what concerns me. Not your actions, but your well-being. I could feel you were breaking.”
“I feel awful for what I’ve done.” My voice was barely a whisper, but the words resonated deep in my bones. “I don’t like the feeling of killing someone’s loved one, the way it feels to have loved ones stolen from me.”
“There will always be casualties. You cannot regret defending the side you stand on. Do not think I wouldn’t wipe out an entire army if it were evil. I am trained to kill. I am trained to fight. I do not cower from it. Until you accept this, we may never defeat Ohtar,” Mycah’s accented voice was gravely low. “And I didn’t kill the Tavas when they had turned against you because I thought you wouldn’t want me to. My only reason was for you.”
I nodded, wanting to understand, wanting to accept that death was becoming part of my life on an almost daily basis. But it was hard. Really hard. Ender’s explanation of why I couldn’t tolerate death resurfaced in my mind. I was a Healer. And that meant death was contrary to my soul. Contrary to my blood. There was a big part of me that never wanted to accept death. I shouldn’t have to. It was a sad tale that no one should have to live with it. But until evil was defeated, there would always be more of it. And to attain evil’s defeat, death would have to be involved. I was slowly learning there would be no way around it, and I meant what I had said to Mycah at the cemetery. No matter what, I’d do what was needed of me to win this war.
Mycah brought my fingers to his lips and kissed them. “You may not be aware, but Rydan and I are not training for war just so we can go butterfly hunting.” He smiled a little.
I shoved him playfully, smiling back. “I know that.”
“We’re training to fight against evil. We’re training to defend ourselves and the innocent that need it. There will be lives lost, but because of it lives will be saved.” Mycah looked to Rydan, who nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, exactly,” Rydan chimed in. “Remember what I said in my room?”
“I do. I know you were right, Ry. Like I said, it’s just kinda hard knowing what it’s like to lose a loved one and being the cause of someone else feeling that way.” I shrugged my shoulders, my thoughts going directly to my foster mom Eli
zabeth, my birth mother Nariella, and Zaylie. I hated death.
“When I take back the throne, I’m putting an end to this silly war between our races, and hopefully there won’t have to be any more death. The only thing standing in our way is Ohtar and his personal army, but not for long. I will win in the end,” Mycah said firmly, authority and duty resonating in his voice. I felt better about what I’d done knowing Mycah didn’t hold it against me. That had been my biggest concern.
There was a lull in our conversation after that, and I noticed Ender, Naminé, Calen, and Lómë stayed sleeping as we had our little chat. Curious about their Isil’Elda cultural habits, like sleeping during the day and being up through the night, I asked, “Is it strange sleeping during the night for you, Mycah?”
“I sleep whenever I’m able,” he started to explain. “I’m not bound by night or day the way I was as a child. Naturally, I am more attuned to night. We draw strength from the moon and stars. I prefer being awake whilst it’s dark, but it is not out of my ability to sleep during it instead.”
“I guess that’s why I was always drawn to sleeping outside on the roof of my house as a kid. There was something about the night sky that called me out there, even though I’d only sleep. It just felt right.” Rydan shrugged.
“And you being raised as human was an advantage. It’s why you never encountered Ohtar’s hunters when they’d enter the Lassaira Ëlemmiire in my pursuit. You were always asleep at your house when they were awake and coming into the Earthly realm. Xavier knew what he was doing.” Mycah seemed to ponder this in awe, realizing how things could’ve gone had Xavier done things differently.
“So you keep saying,” Rydan droned dryly.
“Come now. Don’t be sour, little brother. You know it was for the best,” Mycah reasoned logically. Which was true. I was more than grateful Rydan was left in the dark if it meant his survival. Same with me. We could handle the discovery and all it entailed now that we were older. We had a lot of catching up to do, but at least we were alive to do it. It sucked, yes, but it really was for the best.
“Just leave it, alright? I don’t need you trying to make it better.” Rydan refused to see it properly, his bitterness and resentment toward the whole thing not letting up.
“Ry, seriously? I get why you’re angry about it, but you’ve gotta admit it was better this way.” I reached for his hand, trying to smooth over his crankiness.
“Nari, I said drop it, okay?” He shook his head, and I sighed. Fine, I’d drop it. For now. But eventually he’d need to get over it one way or another.
Snuggling back to sleep, the night passed us by quickly, and I all too soon had the sun fighting its way to my retinas. That morning, we resumed our trek through the forests. Slowly—very slowly—the crushing pain I had inside of me lessened and a bit of strength returned, but it was happening at a snail pace. All this hiking through the forests wasn’t helping my condition, and I had no time to take rests. Any strength I gained would be depleted only moments later from the constant exertion.
Sometime later, as night returned, we spotted a glistening creek fed by a small waterfall. We decided to take this opportunity to freshen up. Pulling my boots off one by one, I jammed my toes into the cool, crisp water that tumbled over rocks in a strong current. It felt amazing as I rolled up my pant legs and stepped further in. Naminé and Ender joined in next to me. They were chit-chatting about how nice it felt.
My eyes snapped to Mycah as he dragged his shirt over his head, revealing his body that was sculpted to perfection. It didn’t matter that I’d seen him without a shirt multiple times; the thought that kept running through my head was how my fingers have been all over that hard, muscular body. I could practically feel the smoothness of his skin on my fingertips as his abs and back constricted and flexed from him throwing water over his arms.
Oh, dear god. The water glistened over the sharp cut of his muscles, and I mentally shook myself to break from gawking. I looked away, but only to notice Rydan too had his shirt off.
Holy hell.
He was like…just as hot. I was surrounded by hotness.
My cheeks blushed, I knew, ‘cause I could feel the burn on the surface of my skin and deep in my neck and heart. I affixed my eyes to my toes that shimmered in the sparkling rocks at the bottom of the creek. I was stronger than their gorgeousness. I was. I took out dozens of skilled soldiers, Skultors, the Black Eagles, and whatever else.
I could handle a couple of incredibly sexy, chisel-bodied brothers in my presence.
Piece of cake.
And then I thought of what I could do with that cake and Mycah’s body—Okay, okay. I could be good. I could totally be good.
Darn you, hormones. Darn. You.
I jumped up, calling over my shoulder, “I’m just gonna be right over here, out of sight, so feel free to do whatever. Then we can switch and I’ll wash off in privacy.”
I didn’t give them time to respond as I slid down a rock hidden from sight, dropping my head to my arms that lay over my knees. Their hotness would be the death of me. There’d be no doubt about that. I didn’t want to be so attracted to them, but I couldn’t help it. Naminé sloped into the spot on my right.
There was a breathy-giggle sound that escaped me. My cheeks flushed even more. “Sorry, they’re just—”
“Breathtaking,” Naminé finished my sentence with a blush and smile. My eyes snapped to her face, surprise by her candidness. Her eyes were set to the ground, and I matched her smile. While we waited, I asked her about Cathar and whether or not she had dream-weaved with him. She explained that she hadn’t been able to hear him speak, then when the Ëlemmiire had been burned down, she couldn’t connect with him at all.
“Nariella, come.” Mycah held out his hand for me not much later. I took it gingerly, feeling my blush return. His midnight hair was even darker wet, as droplets of water fell from the ends.
Oh, lordy, he was beautiful. His tight jaw was extra kissable in the moonlight; it took everything I had to keep my breathing even. And even then it was a little shallow.
“Yeah, I’ll only be a few minutes.” I pushed him away after we reached the water. “You crazy elves go look for firewood, or food, or a pub or something.”
“A pub?” Mycah smirked, trying not to chuckle.
“Yeah, ya know, whatever, just don’t come back until I call for you, got it, mister?” I folded my arms over my torso, nervousness bubbling within. I’d be embarrassed beyond repair if they caught me almost naked. Not that I planned on removing all my clothes, but either way I wanted some privacy.
“As you wish,” he murmured, walking away. He threw a wink over his shoulder, sending my heart crashing into my gut. Rydan joined him, smiling and shaking his head toward the ground. Ender, too, followed. Naminé stayed where she was, letting me clean off in privacy. She’d be next.
I ripped my pants off in a hurry once I knew for sure they weren’t watching and splashed water on my limbs to bathe. Jumping around, I waved my hands back and forth like a maniac to get them to dry as fast as possible, then yanked my pants back on. I did the same thing with my upper body—peeling off my shirt quickly and bathing the exposed skin like a flash of lightning.
Jamming my head through the hole of my shirt, my arms got stuck from the sleeves getting all tangled. I squeaked, almost losing my balance tripping on a rock as I continued to get my clothes back on in a jiffy. All grace and elegance had been thrown out the window a long time ago, but who was I kidding? I had known it’d be that way before I had even started.
Finally, I smoothed the fabric over my stomach and worked out calming my erratic breathing from the struggle. Lastly, throwing my head forward with my hair draped upside-down, I dipped it into the water and agitated the strands to make it clean.
Ten-minutes later, I was back to normal in complete order without anyone else being the wiser of my insanity. After Naminé cleaned up and everyone rejoined together, we entered a secluded cluster of trees near the side of
a mountain and sat down to eat the food the guys brought back.
Suddenly, a malicious, evil laugh echoed in my mind, causing an eruption of chills up and down my body. I almost jumped out of my skin, but I couldn’t tell if it really happened outwardly where everyone could hear, or if my brain had malfunctioned.
“Did you hear that?” I whispered quietly, afraid to even move my eyeballs. Not that I could move if I wanted to, I was left paralyzed in place.
I finally was able to move my eyes, but only them, and then a whole new wave of terror washed over me. Mycah looked to have seen a ghost. He was still as stone and paler than the moon above. Rydan swiveled his head back and forth, looking for the culprit. Lómë growled deep in her chest, a low guttural rumble. Ender closed his eyes with dread filling his face, and Naminé waited for the source like a block of ice.
The sinister cackle echoed in my head again, but as it went on, it increased in the atmosphere outside my mind, as if coming from one particular spot to our right. I was too scared to look.
“Dae’Sûl,” Mycah bit out as if the name was a curse word. He stood up tall and fierce, facing the direction the devilish voice came from. And I still couldn’t look. My eyes closed tightly, and dread filled my belly like a hot, heavy boulder. I grabbed Rydan’s hand, but he let go as he also stood up. Though, I only felt him do it. My eyes stayed shut.
“Doth my eyes cheat me?” Dae’Sûl began, and I could practically hear the mirth in his voice. “For, it cannot be Remycah Avel Zafriel, leisurely napping at the foot of my mountain unguarded and defenseless. Can it truly be so?”
A shudder ripped through my body, and I resisted the force to vomit. Mycah stayed silent as he stepped around my sitting position to be in front of me. The side of my shoulder fell to his legs, needing his touch.
“And as if a gift from the gods themselves, he is not alone. No, no, it cannot be that easy. Rydan Cael, the long-lost, lesser prince whom no one trifled to keep in their memory.” Dae’Sûl chuckled, a sickly, evil-type of noise. “My, my. This is quite fortunate. For me, that is.”
The Sweet Series Box Set: Books 1-4 Page 90