The four of us withdrew into our respective positions—Rydan to his task of Dúlin duty, and Lómë, Lissë, and I to draw the foul creatures away from Rydan and Dúlin before they attacked.
We were like flies circling their ankles, irritating the crap out of them. They swung their big, beefy hands at us, but we were able to stay out of reach. I rolled forward to keep from getting pummeled and slashed my blade across the back of one’s knee. He groaned and crashed to one knee, and I quickly somersaulted toward his other leg and hacked at that one too, sending him completely down. Lómë finished the job for me by severing the throat just as Lissë sliced her horn along another’s legs.
Another two were going after Rydan, and we were too far away. My stomach dropped. “Ry, look out!”
We ran with mighty speed after the Drake Hunters, and with not two seconds to spare, Dúlin suddenly vaulted into the sky like a rocket. The Drake Hunters shot their jumbo weapons at the poor thing like ravenous pigs. Explosions in a rainbow of colors burst at intervals around the dragon.
“What is that?” I yelled during a quick cut to one’s knee.
“Special shrapnel designed to cloud a dragon’s mind and all its senses. A unique formula created by Drake Hunters that they keep secret from anyone but their own kind. It’s very precious to them.” Rydan slit the last monster’s gullet. Lómë had her way with the throat of the one Lissë and I had attacked.
“How do you know all that?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“Dúlin told me,” he admitted. Oh. “Are you alright?” He strode up to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He searched my eyes, fear overtaking any other expression I saw in him. Such a worrywart.
“Yeah, I think so. It wasn’t so bad.” I panted, nodding. “You?”
“I’m fine.” He looked to the sky with his hands on his hips.
Oh, yeah. How could I forget? Dúlin was free. My focus was brought back to the flying dragon overhead. I smiled at the way he seemed to dance effortlessly and with gratefulness for his freedom.
I couldn’t help feeling completely envious. I suddenly longed to be liberated from all invisible shackles and restraints around my life. What I wouldn’t give to be utterly carefree…at liberty to do whatever I pleased and love whomever I wanted. But I knew it was a silly dream. I would never be that lucky. If death was sure to follow me everywhere, and I truly believed that it did, then I had no hope for happiness either.
Contrary to popular belief, I was quickly learning that sometimes it was the queens and kings who had the least amount of freedom of all.
Chapter Fourteen
Rydan took my hand with his and gave it a squeeze. “Just come with me. You know I’m not going to let you go off by yourself. If you’re really going to leave, then do it with your grandpa and guards.”
I rolled my eyes and huffed as I dropped my shoulders in defeat. “Fine.”
“Besides, he’s probably still unconscious. So don’t worry about it.”
“He better be,” I muttered under my breath. Not that I truly wanted him to continue being unwell, but there was no way I could handle seeing Mycah’s indifference for me. If he now hated me for causing his kingdom to exile him, I didn’t need to be around to witness it for myself. I’d happily take Ender’s word for it. Right? That would be way too painful to bear. I knew it would be.
But I stupidly let Rydan convince me to go against my instincts and return to the camp with the others. Once we got close, Tavas’Elda were in the trees like graceful monkeys and jumped from branch to branch keeping an eye out for enemies. The moment my foot crossed over into view where everyone else was, I immediately regretted coming back.
Good God, he was awake. Mycah was awake. Dúlin took off back into the sky as Mycah breached the trees with slow, heavy footfalls. I tried with everything I had not to look, but couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to see him react badly to my presence, and yet I was completely immobilized by his very presence. His strong gaze from across the way brought me up short, as if he had his mind made up about something. My heart leapt to my throat and swelled two sizes bigger. I looked away but felt his attention on my face.
Before I knew what was happening, strong arms were wrapped around my body and Mycah’s scent engulfed me in sweet oblivion. I had no other thoughts.
Only pure bliss.
Automatically, as if having minds of their own that were in complete opposition to mine, my arms returned his embrace almost violently. My hands were tightfisted around the elven fabric that covered his back, and my nose was pressed into the side of his neck until I could no longer breathe. I stood on my toes to be as close to his body as possible.
With his biceps almost crushing me, Mycah lifted my feet off the ground seconds later. His hands were splayed around my waist and shoulder—his long arms encircling me completely. “You’re safe,” he whispered harshly against my lips in a shocked tone, as if he couldn’t believe it was true.
Fingers from somebody else were trying to pull us apart as Ender’s voice broke me out of my oasis, “Enough! Enough of this foolishness! Nariella, you promised!”
I promised? Oh…yes. Yes, I did promise, didn’t I?
Ripped from Mycah’s hold, I was suddenly left grasping thin air as I watched Ender get thrown against a tree. Mycah had him pinned with his arm pressed against his throat and growled in his face, “Do not ever do that again.”
I was shocked. I had never seen Mycah treat Ender so roughly before. Ender responded, “What is the matter with you? Are you truly to leave your dominion to perish? It cannot endure without its king! You must win back your people’s love, Remycah. You know this, and yet you act so selfishly. Why are you not the great king I worked so desperately to mold? You cannot be with her, Remycah! Put your people first, for once!”
“Bloody hell, Ender,” Mycah roared, his wounded lip breaking with fresh blood from the force. “I will never be their king. You strive for nothing! They will never accept me. It is over, Ender. It is over.”
His muscles were tense and defined as he dropped his hold on my father, his Royal Guardian, and turned away from him. I held my breath as he made strides in my direction. Ender was suddenly in his path, right in between our two bodies. “I will not let you do this. Hope is not completely lost. They will embrace you as their king if you renounce Nariella.”
Mycah’s eyes ignited into living blue flames that could evaporate the oceans. Ender held up his hands as he continued, “I understand how difficult of a task it would be to accomplish. I do not wish heartache unto my daughter or my Óre’Dae. I care for you as a son, and that shall never falter. However, Remycah, this is a matter concerning thousands of our kin. Countless lives are resting on your shoulders. You cannot abandon them now. Not when we are so close to redeeming all we have worked so hard to achieve!”
“Ender, listen to me.” Mycah placed a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t want redemption. There is no attaining it now. And what I’m about to say next, I say with respect: Do not ever come between Nariella and me again, or I will kill you.”
“Fool!” Ender scoffed. “How much you have disappointed me, I cannot express. Remycah, think of your mother. Of your kingdom!”
“I do not care anymore. I will not give up Nariella for anything.” Mycah’s voice was firm.
It felt like my world was suddenly crashing down on me. Ender’s words of warning resounded in my mind. With each step Mycah took toward my waiting body, I sank lower and lower into incapacitation.
Because as much as I hated to admit it, I knew that this was a turning moment in our lives. I didn’t want him to give up anything for me. And it would be left up to me to do the right thing. I would never forgive myself if I allowed Mycah to throw his kingdom away. To throw his entire kingship away.
I would have to be the one to put the brakes on our runaway train of “love.” There wasn’t anyone else in the world that would be able to stop us. Not Ender, not even his own mother.
It would be me.
> It would have to be me.
My body shook with unshed tears as he drew nearer. “Stop,” I said, my voice raw and scratchy.
But he didn’t. He kept coming. His fingers were suddenly at my neck—warm. Familiar. Exciting.
I reluctantly pushed his hand away at the wrist, but his other was already entangled in my hair. “Nariella? What…what is this? It’s crippling.” His voice was strained and full of pain. My pain, his pain—I didn't know which anymore.
Not to mention I had no clue how to answer his question. Was he referring to the emotions I had brewing inside of me? I wasn’t in the right mind to comprehend the meaning, so I ignored it and pushed myself away from his touch. “Mycah, stop. It’s—” I couldn’t say it. I choked on the words and fought desperately against passing out. “It’s over. This is over. Like I said before, I’m not your destiny. So I’m done. I can’t do it.”
My soul and heart shattered the instant my own voice of reason registered. Quickly, I power-walked in the opposite direction of where Mycah stood. I couldn’t even look back to see his expression.
On the way, I grabbed Rydan’s wrist as I passed and pulled him along with me to anywhere but there. Lissë and Lómë followed us. I felt bad for making him leave without seeing Naminé first, but I had no other choice.
“Hey, slow down,” he protested. “Where are you going? Nari! Stop.”
“I don’t know where!” I spun around and threw my arms into the air. “I can’t do this. I’m too weak! How can I resist him? I know there’s a purpose bigger than us measly two people, but why isn’t that enough to make this any easier? I can’t fight against your mother! I mean, my own father doesn’t want Mycah and me together. And yet, I’m so close to yelling, ‘Screw you!’ and doing whatever the heck I want! What kind of person does that make me? Like I said earlier…Weak. Selfish. Stupid.”
“And like I said earlier, you’re not any of those things.” He wrapped his big arms around me and held me close. “Well, sometimes you can be a little stupid…”
I hit his back all the while still clinging to him. I muffled into his chest, “Ry!”
“Alright, alright. I’m just teasing.” He squeezed me tighter and stroked my head.
“I hate disappointing my father. I hate it. It almost makes it worse that I didn’t grow up with him. Because we don’t have that lifelong bond that keeps us close…that foundation to withstand normal teenage rebellion that everybody goes through. But only just meeting him and already disappointing him right off the bat…how can I have hope he’ll stick around when I’m putting that kind of strain on such a new relationship?” I clenched my eyes.
“You’re letting your paranoia get the best of you. Don’t think about any of that, Nari. You’re nineteen years old. If Ender really is a father, nothing you did would affect his love for you.”
“Maybe, I don’t know. I don’t know how the father thing works.”
“Just trust me.”
“I’m scared.”
“Why? What are you scared of?”
“I guess I almost wanted Mycah to hate me. Well, not hate me…but you know what I mean, right? For him to be the one to let me go. To give me no other choice but to move on. But with him willing to give up his kingdom to be with me…Ry, what am I going to do? How am I going to resist him? It just makes it all the more impossible to do the right thing.” I buried my face back into his chest and waited for his wise response that I knew he’d give.
“I don’t know, Nari. I don’t know what to tell you,” he said simply.
Disappointment crashed down on me. “But you always know how to make me feel better. You always know the right things to say.”
“But this is different. This is a matter of your conscience. If it were me, I’d back off and let them save their kingdom. I wouldn’t stand in the way, even if they were willing to let me. I know you. You wouldn’t be able to live knowing you caused so much death.”
“I know it’s the right thing to do, but my soul is going to die in the process,” I whispered so softly, I didn’t even hear myself speak.
“Nari, either way, your soul is going to die a little. But if you let him go, at least no one else has to die along with it,” Rydan whispered in return, and I knew in my heart that he was right.
“I…I have to make him fall out of love with me.” My voice had cracked and trembled as the tears pounded on my eyelids. “It’s the only way he’ll let me go.”
I froze. Like always, before ever hearing or seeing his presence, I felt Mycah approach. My body was acutely attuned to his, and it sent flares of tingles exploding throughout my veins.
“I have been more than patient with you lot,” Mycah stated once he came into view, his English accent strong and clipped in his annoyance. “But must I be subjected to torture time and time again?”
“What do you mean?” I stammered, confused. I wiped the newly wet trails from my cheeks and broke from Rydan’s hold.
“Dude, she needs to be alone right now.” Rydan tried to help keep us apart like I had asked earlier, but I could see the pain it inflicted in Mycah’s eyes.
“Rydan,” Mycah started, his temper carefully controlled, but the threat of violence was so heavily injected into that one little word, I almost flinched. “If you do not take your bloody arms off her, you won’t live to see another day.”
“Mycah, this is nothing.” I gestured between Rydan and myself. I had been dreading this moment—the moment when Mycah would confront Rydan’s and my relationship. And now that it was finally here, I wanted to die. Because I didn’t want things to have to change between the two of us. It hurt.
“I am exhausted by being forced to witness your affection day after day. Do you have any idea what it is like to be told not to touch you…to stop loving you…and then see you run off with my brother? Someone you sail past all boundaries with on a constant basis? I will not have it anymore.” Mycah drew closer.
“You won’t have it anymore? Who do you think you are? I’m not your property, and I believe I just told you that we were done. You don’t have a say in what I do,” I retaliated. I had no idea why I was angry or saying these things, because I understood where he was coming from completely. It would kill me to see Mycah so close to another girl. But it was different between Rydan and me. And I knew Mycah could feel from me that it wasn’t the same kind of love that I felt for him. “Besides, you know how I feel about Rydan. That I love him like a brother and nothing more.”
Then I realized something. Something significant. I needed to be angry. If he was supposed to fall out of love with me, then maybe this was the way to do it.
“But you’re not siblings. And it could so easily turn into something more. Especially since you are refusing—”
“You’re right. I am refusing to be with you,” I cut him off, knowing where he was going with that. “And that’s why you no longer have a say in what I do or don’t do where Rydan is concerned. Mycah, there is no more you and me. I don’t want to hurt you; I know you can feel that I don’t want to hurt you. But I’m not going to change anything with Rydan, because you’re not my boyfriend anymore.”
His jaw flexed at my words, and I did my best to conceal my regret at saying them. I couldn’t let him feel it. Perhaps he couldn’t yet if his powers were still suppressed, but I didn’t want to take any chances. I hated the thought of making him move on, but I needed him to let me go as much as I needed to let him go.
Rydan got between us and laid a hand on Mycah’s shoulder. “You should just walk away. Leave her alone.”
Mycah grabbed him by the wrist and twisted his arm. Rydan shouted in pain and anger, then threw a punch toward Mycah’s face with his other fist. Mycah dodged it by leaning backward.
Oh, for pity’s sake. Not this again. “Will you two stop it!”
It always seemed to make Rydan instantly angrier whenever Mycah was successful in avoiding his attacks, and so to no surprise at all, Rydan barreled into Mycah’s torso with fury. �
��What is your deal?”
“Why are you allowed to be so damn close to her but I cannot? It’s maddening!” Mycah retorted between gritted teeth as they wrestled on the ground. I shook my head and sighed. Stupid boys.
“Maybe because I’m her Guardian. And being close is inevitable. It’s just going to happen, alright? Get over it!” Rydan shoved Mycah’s body away from his, but Mycah only retaliated by punching Rydan’s jaw.
“Mycah,” I whisper-shouted, but tried to keep from getting too loud. I didn’t want to draw unwanted enemies to us, especially Ohtar if he was searching for us. Who knew who or what could be lurking out there. “Stop it! You’re both idiots!”
Ender was there in a flash, and with brute strength he ripped Mycah’s hold off Rydan and threw him backward. Rydan jumped to his feet, and the two attempted to go at each other again, but Ender refused to let them. With a hand on each of their chests, he kept them at bay. They glared at each other as Rydan wiped his mouth. Mycah fumed.
What was up with boys and wrestling matches? Too much testosterone. I get that Mycah had a lot of pent-up anger and aggression from his grave predicament, but come on. Beating the crap out of your younger brother was not going to help anything.
“Despicable!” Ender scolded the two royal heirs. “How disgraceful. Show some respect for the dead lying not five miles from here! We are fortunate enough to be survivors of a great war, and yet you two are needlessly battling your own flesh and blood. Shame on you!”
“He started it.” Rydan jerked his head in Mycah’s direction. Mycah didn’t take his heated eyes from Rydan’s, but he also didn’t pipe in to the discussion.
“Remycah, why is it that you are here? You heard her request. The two of you are finished. In turn, you are not to be near Nariella. Come, you apparently have much to learn yet.” Ender gestured for the two of them to leave.
“Wait,” I stopped them. “I need a moment alone with Mycah. Please.”
The Sweet Series Box Set: Books 1-4 Page 107