Did it?
“No,” she whispered.
“What was that?” Julian whispered back.
She wiped at her eyes and picked her head up. “Nothing.” She stared at him as the credits began to roll. “No, that was a lie. It wasn’t nothing. I…” She had to tell him something and it couldn’t be that she loved him. “I was just caught up in memories.”
He didn’t seem like he quite understood.
She blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears from spilling. What she wanted to tell him was that she’d tried and tried not to, but she’d fallen in love with him anyway.
“Bad memories?”
She sighed. This was headed in a direction she hadn’t been ready to take, but there were only so many times she could put off telling him the truth. He deserved to know. “Yes.”
He moved the tray of candy to the table, then twisted to face her. “Memories that have to do with Alonso.”
She tucked one leg under the other and turned toward him. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry it affects you so much.” His eyes held compassion. “Listen, I need to tell you something. I’ve put it off a few times, because I wasn’t sure when the right moment was, but you need to know this. Alonso is dead. Remy asked his grandfather about it and the man confessed to putting a stake through Alonso’s heart. In part because Alonso was stealing from him, but in part because of what he’d done to you.”
“Really?” Alonso was dead. She’d always wondered how that news would make her feel. She was surprised to find herself a little numb to it. Maybe because she’d wished it to be true for so long that it had already become a reality in her mind.
“Yes. Really.”
“I owe Remy an apology. And a thank you to his grandfather.”
“I can get you his number.”
“Good. I owe you an explanation, too.” With her elbow resting on the back of the sofa, she dropped her head into her hand. “It’s just not an easy thing for me to talk about.”
“You don’t need to explain anything to me.”
“Yes, I do.” She had to tell him, even if it would ruin the nice evening they’d been having. Memories of that day were already swirling past like seabirds drafting the ocean’s breezes. She closed her eyes and the dank scent of salt water filled her senses. She opened her eyes again, but kept her gaze on the cushion between them. “We had just completed a run for the Lafittes and were on our way back to New Orleans for whatever cargo was next.
“Then Alonso spotted a Spanish galleon off the starboard side. There was no way they saw us. It was night and we were running dark. Having a captain and a few crew members that were vampires gave us some deadly advantages.” Her chest constricted as the memories continued to slip through her mind. “She was twice our size and sitting low. Alonso smelled gold.
“He gave the order and we attacked, using the dark to our benefit. We drove the ship aground on a small island.”
“This was in the Caribbean?”
She nodded.
“Which island?”
“One of a thousand spits of land that have never been named.” She could still picture every inch of it. “It was three thousand five hundred and seventy steps long, and eight hundred and one wide.”
His brows lifted in response to her detailed knowledge, but he didn’t ask anything more, although she could see the questions in his eyes.
“When the defeated crew had been dispatched, something Alonso took an unnatural pleasure in, even though I repeatedly asked him to show mercy, we boarded the broken ship. There was gold, just as Alonso had suspected, and a great deal of it. Silver too. Some jewelry, silks, a lot of wine, and a few crates of books. It was a treasure ship and fat with it. He’d never come across anything like it and I doubt he ever did again. It was his greatest conquest.”
Julian hung on her words. “What happened then?”
“Taking all that treasure aboard the Night’s Mistress had her almost bursting at the seams. It was too much for his ship. But Alonso wasn’t about to let any of it go.” An uncontrolled sob rose up through her.
Julian grabbed her hand. “You don’t have to finish if it’s too hard.”
She shook her head, using the anger in her belly to fuel her words. “One of the crewmen suggested he leave half the treasure behind on the island, then return for it. Another crewman agreed with that idea. Alonso shot them both dead. They were human so to him, they didn’t matter. But he liked the idea well enough that he decided leaving something behind was the way to go.”
“What did he decide to leave behind?”
She lifted her head to stare into Julian’s eyes, the rage inside of her no doubt brightening her eyes with the fire of intense emotion. “Me.”
Julian squinted at her. “So you could watch over the treasure?”
She was shaking with anger. “There was no treasure to watch over. That was all onboard his ship.”
Julian refused to understand. “You can’t be telling me that he left you on a deserted island in the middle of the Caribbean Sea.”
“Yes, that is exactly what I’m telling you. My husband of thirteen months leveled his sword at me, and told me to disembark or he would run me through the heart to make room for three chests of doubloons, two casks of wine, and a crate of gold dinnerware.”
Julian’s mouth hung open. “That can’t be possible.”
“I wish that was true.”
He felt numb with disbelief, but that soon gave way to pure, unadulterated rage. He pushed to his feet, too distressed to sit. “This man was your husband?”
“Yes.”
“How dare he? To even think he’d earned that title. I’m glad he’s dead or I’d do it for him. That bloody…” Julian clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles cracked. “No wonder you don’t want to be married.”
She nodded slowly. The memories were overwhelming her. He could see it in her eyes. She had the same far-away look she’d had the day of the panic attack.
He sat back down. “Tell me the rest. What did you do?”
She shook her head with such a small movement it almost wasn’t noticeable. “I got off the ship.”
He gasped. “You did? But you’re here now. How did you survive?”
“I’m not sure. Sheer determination. Stubbornness. Anger. Being a vampire made it both easier and harder. I had my increased abilities that made some things possible that wouldn’t have been otherwise, but when the sun is your worst enemy and you’ve been stranded on an island…that was problematic, to say the least.”
He shook his head. “How did you manage?”
“I lived in the ship. Even though Alonso and the crew stripped it nearly bare, it provided plenty of shelter. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, though, so at night, I used what I could salvage to build a passable hut on the island.”
“Amazing.” But of course she had. She was incredible.
“It was hard, but my strength made it possible. The island had a stand of palms, too, so I used them for added shade.”
“How did you feed? Vampires have requirements humans don’t.”
She grimaced. “Sea creatures. Fish, sharks, whatever I could get my hands on.”
“Which explains why you don’t eat seafood now.”
“Let’s just say I’ve had my fill.”
“Did you have fishing supplies?”
“No.” She let out a soft, bitter laugh. “Not having to breathe meant I could be underwater for however long I needed to be. On the nights with a full moon, I would wade into the small lagoon on the far side of the island until I was ten or fifteen feet under, then I would just wait.”
“How did you get off the island?”
She thought back, remembering that fateful night. “I had this feeling one evening, one of those gut things you can’t ignore, that I should light my signal fire. So I did. A few hours later, a fishing boat showed up. I’ve never discounted that inner voice since that night, I promise you that.”
“A
mazing.” He rubbed at his temple. “I cannot believe you survived such an ordeal. And yet, knowing you, I can. But I hate that you went through it, and I hate that your husband did this to you.” He ground his teeth together as the muscles in his jaw tightened. Anger spilled through him like molten metal. “I hate him with a rage I’ve never felt before. I want to kill him.”
She snorted. “I’m okay with that. Revenge fantasies were all that kept me going sometimes.”
“How long were you there?”
She took a moment. “Seventeen years.”
“Bloody hell.” He stared at her, awestruck. “Bloody, bloody hell.” Then he closed his eyes for a moment. It was that or snap. The idea that this piece of garbage Alonso had done this to his Desi was horrifying. He’d buy Jean Lafitte dinner next time he was in New Orleans to thank him for ridding the world of such a wicked man.
Julian opened his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I completely understand how difficult it must be for you to trust or love anyone now. But I hope you know that I would hurt myself before I would hurt you.”
“I know you’re not him, but…” Her smile was kind, but a little sad. “Alonso made those same kinds of promises to me when we married. He swore his love and protection, his undying loyalty, his life before mine.”
“And he was clearly a liar,” Julian spat out.
She nodded. “Ultimately, things were more important to him. And I know how important things are to you, too. Not saying you’re anything like him, but I’ve been through too much to risk my heart—or my life—again. I told you because you deserved to know. And so you could understand why no matter what I feel, I won’t allow myself to go down this path again.”
“Things mean nothing to me. Not compared to you.”
She tipped her head, her smile flattening a little. “You’re an incredible man, Julian. I wish things could be different between us, but this bell can’t be unrung. My wounds run too deep. I’m sorry. I really am. I think if I weren’t so broken, we could be very good together.”
“We already are good together.”
She put a hand on his arm, then leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for listening. I’ve never told anyone that story. I feel a little lighter for it. Especially knowing that Alonso will never be able to hurt me again.”
“That’s good. I’m glad for that.”
“Me, too.” She got to her feet. “But I’m drained. I’m going to bed. But if you find anything out about those names before twilight, feel free to wake me up.”
He nodded. “Okay. Good night.”
“Night.”
She left, but he stayed there, staring into the air and thinking through all she’d told him. His anger simmered just below the surface of his understanding. It was impossible to know what had happened to her and not react. Not when he loved her like he did. Because try as he might to deny those feelings, they were there. He knew she’d been about to say she’d fallen in love with him, and knowing she loved him only brought his own feelings closer to the surface.
The need to do something crackled over him like a hot ray of sun, biting and snapping at him until it pushed him to his feet. It also gave him an idea.
He checked on her first. She was asleep, television on like it had been before, but this time he didn’t turn it off. Maybe she liked it on because it kept her from feeling alone. Whatever the reason, he just closed her door and went to his room. He changed into jeans, a T-shirt, and his leather jacket.
He dashed off a note and left it on the kitchen counter. Won’t be gone long. Call if you need me. This is for you. Love, J
Then he did something utterly rare and completely unsettling. He reached up to his throat and unclasped the chain holding his amulet. He slipped it off his neck and held it in his hand, just studying it for a moment. He’d worn it since the day Alice and Elenora had presented them to him and his brothers.
He’d grown so used to being immune to the sun’s dangers that at this point, his own forgetfulness was more likely to be the cause of his death. But Desi was more important. And proving to her that he was not Alonso was paramount.
He lay the chain and amulet over the note.
Time, suddenly, was no longer such a luxury. He left, locking the penthouse door behind him. He called the lift, rolling his shoulders impatiently. When it arrived, he stepped on, and punched the button for the lobby.
Lou gave him a nod as he walked out. “Mr. Ellingham.”
“No one gets upstairs. No deliveries. No flowers. No packages. Nothing. But if something or someone does show up, you call me immediately. If she needs anything, you call me about that too.” The sun would be up soon, so it was unlikely Desi would wake before he got back, but he wanted all bases covered. Especially if he didn’t make it back.
“You got it.”
Julian exited the building and climbed into his car. Then he turned out of the parking lot and opened it up. Elenora was about to get another unexpected drop-in.
When he arrived at his grandmother’s, the sky had just begun to lighten at the tree line. He left his car in front of the house and pounded on her doors. He hadn’t felt this sort of desperation in nearly three hundred and fifty years. The approaching dawn stung his nerves like invisible wasps.
“Grandmamma. Alice. Open up.” Then, finally, Elenora herself opened the door. She was wrapped in a silk dressing gown, her jewelry still on, and a pair of satin slippers covering her feet. “What the blazes—Julian, what’s wrong?”
He pushed past her into the safety of the house’s coverage. “We need to talk.”
“What’s happened? Tell me.” She clutched at her robe, pulling it together at her throat. “You’re frightening me, child.”
“I need a new amulet.”
She let go of her robe and her eyes narrowed. “What have you done?”
“What I should have done a long time ago. I gave mine to my wife.”
She snorted out a breath. “Giving your amulet to the woman who’s about to divorce you is not an emergency that requires such dramatics. Unless she takes off with it and you fail to retrieve it from her, which I will very much expect you to do.”
“No.”
“Julie!” She shook her head as she pointed toward the door. “Enough of this nonsense. Go back to your wife, such as she is, and explain that you will not be providing her with an amulet. She shouldn’t even know about it. And you know the rules. They are for family only. Family who intend to stay family.”
“I won’t make it.”
“What do you mean?”
He pulled down the neck of his T-shirt. “I have no amulet. It’s with Desi. I tried to explain that to you.”
She paled, an impressive accomplishment considering her already ivory skin. “You did what?”
He let the fabric go. “As I stated, my wife has mine. Now, should I go wake Alice up or would you like to do that?”
The dreams that woke Desi were uncommon. Most vampires didn’t dream during daysleep. But these dreams, nightmares really, were so awful that they had forced their way into her subconscious, compelling her to relive her time on the island. They were almost as terrifying as being trapped there again.
She sat up in bed, staring in the dancing light of the television and trying to ground herself in the here and now before the past pulled her under a second time.
It took a few moments, but the dreams receded. It was an unsettling way to wake up. And by the itch on her skin, the sun was bright in the sky.
She fell back onto the bed, throwing her arm over her face. Those dreams had come because of what she’d shared with Jules last night, but they were a small price to pay for letting him in. Now, she no longer had to push him away. He knew and understood there could be nothing between them. And he’d accepted it.
Hadn’t he?
Actually, she wasn’t sure about that. But it seemed like he had. And maybe they were a little closer to remaining friends. That w
ould be nice.
Daysleep wasn’t immediately forthcoming. It happened. Feeding would help. She got up and pulled on her robe, then shuffled out into the hall. The lights were off, but there was enough sun coming through the sheers on the windows to make the place oppressively bright.
No Julian either, from what she could sense. Maybe some info on the names had come through and he was out chasing it down. She blinked a few times to clear her sleepy eyes and checked the clock. Not quite eight a.m. She couldn’t have been asleep more than a few hours.
Yawning, she made her way into the kitchen, selected a bottle of O negative, and poured herself a glass. She stood at the counter and drank until something very curious caught her eye.
She put the glass down and pulled the paper and the necklace closer. She recognized the chain and amulet instantly. It was Julian’s. Why wasn’t he wearing it?
She read the note. Then glanced at the windows. That stupid, wonderful, crazy man. Her heart clenched at the thought of him out in that sun without protection. She ran back to her room and dialed him on his cell.
He answered right away. “Morning, gorgeous.”
“Are you hurt? Are you okay? Did you hole up somewhere? What are you doing?” She knew she sounded like a panicky mess, but she didn’t care.
“I’m fine. I’m at my grandmother’s, but I’m about to head to the police station. What are you doing up so early?”
“Bad dreams. Couldn’t sleep. Then I found your note and your amulet and freaked out.”
He laughed. Laughed! She wanted to smack him a little. “Sorry about your bad dreams, and for scaring you, but all is well.”
“But your amulet is here.”
He had the nerve to laugh some more. “I talked my grandmother into providing me with another one.”
She shook her head, grinning despite herself. Julian lived a charmed life. “You did, did you?”
“Yes. She wasn’t exactly thrilled, but—”
“But you’re the baby of the family and you get what you want, don’t you?”
He sighed. “Not everything.”
She knew he meant her.
The Vampire's Accidental Wife (Nocturne Falls Book 8) Page 15