by Lisa Suzanne
I have none.
I’m ready to sign myself over to the band and to this label, and I do.
I sign on the line.
And then I bring the contract directly to Mark Ashton, the guy whose house I slept in last night and the CEO of this label. We toast with glasses of scotch, neat.
I’m introduced to a variety of executives.
I’m treated like a star.
And as the newest member of MFB, I am a star intrinsically and by nature even though it happened completely overnight.
Dax and Brody show up, and we meet in a smaller conference room with views overlooking the city.
“We wanted to talk about living arrangements,” Dax says.
“The four of us all have places in or around San Diego,” Brody says. “That’s where we’re based, and that’s where we have our meetings and practices, so that’s where you’ll need to find a permanent place.”
Dax picks it up from there. “You’ll have all sorts of shit to do here in LA with the show between now and when it starts airing, and we’re still technically on hiatus. Adam’s got a kid due in a month, Rascal’s still temporarily playing with Ruby Ray here in LA, Brody’s planning his wedding, and I’ve got a newborn who I haven’t spent nearly as much time with as I’d like to. But that’s all good news. That gives you time to find a place in San Diego, move your shit here, and study our catalog.”
“Rascal and Kane are renting a place together while they play with Ruby Ray, but it sounds like Kane is spending more time at Ruby’s place and less time with Rascal. Would you be interested in sharing that place for the time being?” Brody asks.
I nod. “Yeah, sure. If there’s a space for me there, that would work out great.” It would give me a chance to bond with at least one member of MFB before we really get started.
Dax nods. “Fantastic. Rascal can walk you through some of our mechanics when he has down time, and you’ll be here in LA so you’ll have a chance to rub elbows with the best in the business. Go to shows. Go to bars. Check out the local scene. Fucking live life. Go to the grocery store. And enjoy the hell out of all of it, because in a few months, you won’t be able to do that shit anymore.”
Brody laughs. “He’s not lying, man.”
Dax grins. “You ready for the adventure of a lifetime?”
I nod. “I’m ready.”
Brody drums his fingers on the table. “We’ll let the show air, and obviously we need it to happen fast so we can start playing gigs again and not spoil the end of the show. Mid-January, we’ll head into the studio to record new music.”
“That means we’re all writing now,” Dax says. “We’re always working on songs and riffs and lyrics, and if you’ve got something, you write it down. You call us. You’re one of us now, and we want your fresh take on the shit we’ve done for years.”
“That’s why we chose you,” Brody says. “We saw something in you that not a single one of the other contestants had, so even though we’re in down time now, this is where you prove yourself.”
“I’m ready,” I say. “I’m down for the challenge.”
“You like poker?” Dax asks.
I nod.
“Beer?” Brody asks.
I nod a little more enthusiastically.
They look at each other. “Yeah, we chose right,” Dax says, and they both laugh. “Let’s go play some poker and drink some beer at your new place.”
CHAPTER 56: LEXI
I hate that part of a plane ride when the wheels first touch the ground after being in the air for hours. I brace myself and squeeze my eyes shut, and then we’re coasting toward the gate.
I’m back in Nashville for just two nights. Long enough to pack up what I can and allow the movers to do the rest, to break my lease on my apartment, and to say goodbye to my friends and family.
I haven’t told my parents yet. I thought it would be more fun to just show up at their house and tell them in person that I didn’t win the show but I ended up with something even better: I got my very own recording contract with Ashmark Records.
I haven’t told my friends in ERS yet, either. They aren’t going to believe it. I’m going to invite them along because I feel obligated to, but I have a feeling I already know how that conversation’s going to go.
They aren’t going to uproot their lives and move to Los Angeles, and maybe we wouldn’t need to do that if we started out a few levels higher than where we are now, but Ashmark is strategic in building a platform for a musician, so I need to be close to the label so I can contribute to that foundation.
And through it all—starting at the hotel this morning and through the ride to the airport, the plane ride, and now the ride to my apartment—Gage has been on my mind.
Certainly he turned his phone back on by now.
Surely he saw my text from before we met up in the house and filming started.
And he hasn’t responded.
Do I even bother showing up at the hotel on Friday?
I’ll be back in LA—probably staying at that very hotel, in fact. Part of my job over the next few days is to look over the housing options Shana, one of Mark’s assistants, sends my way. She asked a million questions about what I want, and she’s working hard to match me with my perfect LA home.
I want to text him, and I start about a million and one different messages...but none of them are sent.
At this point, it all just feels a little desperate. He won, and he didn’t tell me he loves me back, and he hasn’t tried to get in touch with me. The ball seems firmly in his court, and he’s not even bothering to bounce it around.
I want to fight for him, for us—but I also can’t put a damper on his victory. I don’t want to be the sad, lonely girl who looks like she’s riding his coattails. That’s never been me, and while I may have given in on other things that weren’t exactly me over the last month or so, that’s not something I’m willing to budge on.
I call my mom as we wait to get off the plane.
“Lexi?” she answers.
“Hey Mom.” I feel tears stinging behind my eyes, but I refuse to cry at the airport. “Are you and Dad at home?”
“Dad ran out to the hardware store but he’ll be back soon,” she says. “Are you in town?”
“Yeah. Just landed.”
“Come on over. I can’t wait to see you. Can you talk about where you were now?”
I clear my throat. “Sort of.”
“Okay, girlie. I’m excited to hear every single detail.”
I get my suitcase then text Danny as I wait for my Lyft.
Me: You guys around? I’m back for a couple nights and would love to see you.
He doesn’t respond right away, which I don’t take to heart. He’s never been great at texting.
I text Andy and Sam similar messages, but nobody responds. My ride shows up and I head toward my parents’ house, only a twenty-minute ride from the airport. My dad’s car is in the driveway, so they’re both at home.
And screw the nondisclosure agreement. These are my parents.
I’m telling them every detail.
Well, almost every detail.
Once we’re seated at their kitchen table, the place where every important conversation in our little family has ever taken place, I dive in headfirst.
“I was invited to be on a reality show to compete for the open spot of bassist in a band that has shelves lined with Grammy awards,” I begin. “Along the way, I fell in love, that love turned to hate and then back to love again, I pretended to date another guy, I got burned, and ultimately I came in second place.”
My parents both stare at me like I’ve sprouted an extra head.
“Wow,” my mom finally says. “That’s a lot to take in.”
“What band?” my dad asks.
“MFB.”
My dad’s brows go up. He’s heard of them. Even my mom looks surprised. “The one with that cute guy as the lead singer? Didn’t his wife just have a baby?”
I gigg
le. “You mean Dax Hunter? Yeah, that’s him. And yes, that’s the band.”
“And you came in second?” my dad asks. I nod. “Holy smokes.” His tone shows that he’s clearly impressed with that achievement.
“You should’ve won, Lex,” my mom says. “You’ve got the talent. What happened?”
“I signed a contract that says I can’t really say what happened, but they picked a guy who was just an all-around better fit.” I tap my nails on the table, and then I spill the rest. “He’s also the guy who I happened to fall for. That’s a really long story, though, so we’ll save it for another time. I’m only in town for two nights, and I need to meet with ERS while I’m here, too.”
“Why only two nights?” my dad asks.
“Well, for one, the producers asked me to stay in Los Angeles through the airing of the finale. But there’s another reason...” I trail off, not quite sure how to frame it, and then I rip off the bandage. “I’m moving to Los Angeles.”
My mom gasps. “You’re what?”
“I didn’t win the spot in MFB, but I walked away with something potentially even better,” I say, sure I wouldn’t explain it that way to anyone else aside from my parents.
My dad’s brows dip down. “And what’s that?” He picks up his cup of coffee—he’s the guy who’s never without a cup as he says it’s what keeps him on an even keel—and takes a sip.
“I was offered a recording contract with Ashmark Records. They want to branch into country music, and they want me to be the first country artist on their roster.”
“What’s Ashmark?”my mom asks. “Is that a good idea?”
“Ashmark is the record label owned by the singer of Vail. It’s the kind of opportunity I can’t pass up. Every artist they’ve signed has skyrocketed to superstardom, and they believe that I’ll be next.”
My dad sets down his coffee cup. And then, in a rare burst of emotion and an even rarer occurrence of a curse word falling from his mouth, he yells, “Holy shit, my daughter’s going to be a star!”
My mom looks at him with her jaw dropped down, and I giggle, and I guess that’s the long and short of it.
After we do a little celebrating—which really just means hugs all around and a glass of wine each since my parents aren’t really drinkers—I check my phone. I have responses from Sam, Andy, and Danny, but still, both unsurprisingly and disappointingly, nothing from Gage.
All three of them let me know they’re around and can meet tonight, and so I take advantage of the opportunity. I group message all three of them.
Me: Lemmings, tonight at 8?
I get three thumbs ups, and so we’ll meet at the local diner where we’ve shared dozens of meals and that’s when I’ll invite the three of them to be part of my new band.
CHAPTER 57: GAGE
“All in,” Brody says, and I stare across the table at him for a beat.
I feel like he’s bluffing—like he’s trying to edge me out, like he’s trying to run over the new guy. But I’m not so easily taken down. Hell, I played with a Motley Crue cover band for years and years. We got into some crazy shit in our time.
“Call,” I say, pushing my chips in.
Brody flips over his cards.
He doesn’t have shit. Not that my hand’s much better with a pair of queens, but it still beats his jack shit.
“The new guy doesn’t back down,” he says as I rake my chips to my side of the table. “I like that.” He gets up and grabs another beer from the fridge. It’s my fridge now, too, since we’re at Rascal and Kane’s place. Kane isn’t here, presumably with his woman, and it’s just the five of us. We’re already bonding, and as usual, Lexi is on my mind, but I’m not letting that stop me from getting to know these guys.
“Grab me one, too,” Dax says, and Rascal echoes him.
We play a few more rounds, and Adam emerges the big winner. We sit around as we all finish our final beers.
“We usually do this just about every night on tour,” Dax says.
“When your women allow it,” Rascal says.
“Like you’re any better,” Brody says to Rascal, and everyone laughs—including me. I may be the new guy, but I already feel like we’re all old friends. I already see a future with these guys. I already feel like I fit in.
I can’t see Lexi sitting here playing poker and drinking beer. I still think she would’ve made a great bassist for MFB, but playing in a band is about a lot more than just making music. It’s just facts that I have more in common with these guys than she ever could.
But what’s next for her?
I keep wondering that. I’d know the answer if I just asked—or maybe I wouldn’t. Maybe she doesn’t even know yet.
“So I’m married with a kid now,” Dax says. “Adam’s married with a kid on the way in less than a month. Rascal and Brody are both engaged. What about you?”
“No kids that I’m aware of,” I say, garnering a few chuckles. “I had a few women back in Vegas but nothing I couldn’t easily walk away from.” I sigh.
“Uh oh,” Brody taunts. “What was that deep breath for?”
I debate how wide to open this door, but they’re all going to see it when the show airs if they don’t already know. “Lexi.”
“Weber?” he clarifies, and I nod.
“We met at the hotel before the show started filming. We got to know each other, but neither of us admitted the real reason why we were in town. Then I basically fucked it all up when she walked in the house. I was surprised to see her, and I said all the wrong things, and now I don’t really know where things stand with her.” I leave out the words she said the night of the finale. Those words belong to us.
“Have you tried getting in touch?” Adam asks.
I shake my head. “Not yet. It’s been a whirlwind few days and I just haven’t had a chance.”
“Things will wind down,” Adam assures me. “And then once the show starts airing, your life will change forever. Don’t sit on those feelings or it might be too late to do anything about it.”
I glance around the table at the legends who are sitting here giving me advice about Lexi. All of them are in their own serious relationships. All of them had their days of being players, and all that ended when they found the women they wanted to commit to.
And I think Lexi is that woman for me.
I don’t want to be with anybody else. I don’t want to fall into old patterns. I don’t want to sleep around.
And maybe most of all, I don’t want her to abandon me.
I can’t tell them that, though.
“Thanks,” I murmur, and I leave it at that.
I can’t deny that he hit a nerve, though, and I’m more certain than ever that I need to be at that hotel on Friday night at eight.
Even if she doesn’t show...well, at least I can back away with no regrets.
Okay...maybe not no regrets. It was kind of shitty to say a girl couldn’t win this competition, even if a dude did win it in the end. But I said that to get a rise out of her. It worked...sort of. If my goal was to piss her off and make her hate me.
I did a lot of things to get a rise out of her, and those are the things I regret.
But maybe I can fix all that now, and maybe all it’ll take is for me to show up at our hotel lobby bar.
CHAPTER 58: LEXI
“What I’m about to say needs to stay between the four of us,” I say softly.
They all look at me with wide eyes, and I look at each one of them in turn. They all nod, a silent agreement that I take as their word.
“I was offered a recording contract with Ashmark Records,” I blurt.
“Oh my God,” Sam says, and at the same time Andy blows out a low whistle and Danny says, “Whoa.”
“There’s more.” I don’t know how to say it without sounding like I’m insulting them, so I just blurt it out. “They want me to take the lead on vocals, but they also said I could invite the three of you to be part of the Lexi Weber band.”
�
�The Lexi Weber band?” Danny repeats.
“It’ll be your name on the marquee?” Sam asks.
Andy remains quiet.
I nod. “They’ve contracted me for my voice, and they see me being the next Carrie or Shania or Martina.”
“And we don’t really know the others who play in their bands,” Danny says flatly.
“I’m out,” Sam says, shaking her head. “This isn’t a viable career for me. It’s a hobby. Something fun to do on the weekends that makes me a little extra cash. I’m a mom, and I want to stay in Nashville with my family.”
Andy sighs. “I’m with Sam. Born and raised here. I’m not a big city boy, and I don’t want to be.”
I look over at Danny, and I’m not really sure what I want his answer to be. I think if I’m starting over, I want to start completely over. I want to leave the shadows of ERS in the past. I think about touring with him, and as much as he’s been my best friend...I just don’t see it.
“I need a little time to think it over,” he says, and I nod.
“You can’t leave, too,” Andy says. “What’ll happen to ERS?”
“That’s one of the things I really need to think about. We’re doing okay with Jackie so far, but is it really still the same band without her?” he asks Andy, nodding toward me, and I presume Jackie is my replacement.
Andy shrugs. “So is this it, then? We disband?”
Danny shakes his head. “I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying I need to weigh what I really want.”
Andy looks disappointed, and Sam presses her lips together. “I can feel everything changing,” she says. She glances up and locks eyes with me. “Are you okay with all of it?”
I nod. “I’m ready for it.”
“You seem different,” she says.
I sigh. “I am different. I fell in love, I lost a reality competition, and I lost the boy.”
“You fell in love?” Danny asks, his brows way up high on his forehead.
I lift a shoulder, and I don’t add any more.
But I’m pretty sure that little proclamation sealed the deal.
Danny’s staying put. He doesn’t have to say it because I already know.