by Beverly Long
“I didn’t know you had cable,” Mary said, holding the remote control.
“Enjoy. I’ve got to go meet OCM’s attorney. I’ll be back by dinner. There are snacks in the cupboard. Help yourself.”
Mary waved and flipped channels. Liz left the apartment. Halfway to the hospital, her stomach rumbled with hunger, but unless she could find somewhere that pureed eggs and bacon, she was out of luck.
Howard waited for her outside the front doors of the hospital. When he bent to kiss her cheek, she pulled back. “Don’t get too close. I have a sore throat. I’m probably contagious.”
When he jumped back a full foot, she couldn’t help but compare him to Sawyer. Somehow she just knew that little short of the plague would keep Sawyer Montgomery from kissing his girl.
Oh, God, how she wanted to be that girl.
“You look horrible,” Howard said.
“Thank you. I worked all night on this look.”
He frowned at her. “If you didn’t go gallivanting around the countryside, you’d probably stay a lot healthier.”
Gallivanting? She’d saved an unborn baby from a crazy woman’s knife. She couldn’t have a lot of regrets. “Did you bring the background report?” she asked.
Howard put a hand over his mouth. “Oh, no. I completely forgot. Trust me, it’s fine. They’re great people.”
“I’m not comfortable with this,” Liz said.
“Come on. We’re both here. You don’t feel well. You surely don’t want to stick around while I run all the way across town to get them from my office. You won’t want to come back later. You’ll probably be sleeping. So, let’s just get this over with.”
Unfortunately, everything he’d said was true. “Okay. But fax them to me tomorrow. Please don’t forget. I need the information for my files.”
After a quick stop at the hospital gift shop to pick up a box of candy, they checked in at the nurses’ desk on the Maternity floor. They got the room number and walked down the long hallway. When they got there, they saw Melissa sitting up in her bed, watching a game show.
“Hi, Melissa,” Liz spoke softly from the doorway, not wanting to scare the young woman. “How are you?”
“Hi, Liz. I’m okay, I guess.”
Liz smiled at her client. Melissa Stroud had graduated from high school just three months earlier. She’d been the valedictorian of her class. Her gown had been big enough that the visitors, all the parents and aunts and uncles and grandparents proudly coming to see their offspring, probably hadn’t realized that she was six months pregnant.
They’d have all been shocked that a smart girl like that could have gotten herself in trouble.
The father of the baby had been the salutatorian. First and second in their class.
Two smart kids having dumb sex.
“I’ve brought Howard Fraypish with me. You’ve talked to him on the phone.”
“Okay.”
Liz wasn’t worried that the girl didn’t show more emotion. Generally, that was how most of the girls got through the adoption process. They simply shut off their feelings.
“How’s the baby?” Liz asked.
“Good. The nurses said she was real pretty.”
Liz thought she caught just the hint of pride in the girl’s voice. “You haven’t seen her?”
“No. They said I could. Even after I told them I was giving her away. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.” And suddenly, a tear slipped out of Melissa’s eye, running down the smooth surface of her eighteen-year-old face.
She brushed it away with the back of her hand. “It’s stupid to cry. I’m giving her away. That’s what I want. That’s what I planned on.”
Liz felt her own tears threaten to fall. She blinked her eyes furiously. No matter how right the decision was, it was always painful. “You’re a very brave girl, Melissa.”
The girl shook her head. “I’m never going to sleep with another boy again as long as I live.”
Liz smiled and patted the young girl’s arm. “Someday you will meet a fine man. He’ll make your heart race and your palms sweat.” Just like Sawyer did to her. “The two of you will get married, and you’ll have beautiful, brilliant children. Your heart will heal. Trust me.”
Melissa sniffed. “It’s hard to think about things like that. I hope she understands why I had to do this. I hope she realizes that it wasn’t because I didn’t love her.”
“She’ll understand,” Liz assured the young girl, whose circumstances had forced her to become mature fast. “After all, she has a very smart mother. She’ll understand all kinds of things.”
Melissa smiled. “Well, let’s get it over with.”
Howard pulled up a chair. He opened his briefcase and pulled out a stack of papers. In a matter of minutes, Melissa had officially given away her child.
“Do you want me to stay?” Liz asked.
“I think I’d rather be alone. But thank you. I don’t think I could have gotten through this without you.”
Liz knew from previous experience that Melissa wasn’t through it yet. She’d spend many hours sorting through the myriad of feelings, traveling down the dozens of paths her mind would wander around and through until she came to terms with her decision.
Liz hugged the girl. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Liz took the time to stop at the grocery store on the way home. She was anxious to get back to Mary, especially after seeing Melissa, and she was still feeling as if she’d gotten run over by a bus, but her cupboards were pretty bare. She needed to stock up if she intended to have a houseguest. She knew that Mary should have milk and fruit and vegetables.
Thinking about that reminded her of Sawyer buying her bananas, and she walked through most of the grocery store with tears in her eyes. Lord, she was an emotional mess.
She drove home and lugged her sacks inside. She set them on the floor next to the fridge.
“Mary,” she called out. “I got Double Stuf Oreos.”
No answer. The television was off. Liz listened for the shower. But nobody was running water in her apartment. In fact, she couldn’t hear anything. Her apartment sounded empty. The truth hit her, almost making her stagger backward.
Mary was gone.
Chapter Thirteen
She ran from the kitchen to the spare bedroom. The bed was sort of made with the sheets and blankets pulled up, just not tucked in. A white sheet of notebook paper lay on the pillow.
It took every ounce of courage that Liz had to close the ten-foot gap. The message was short and sweet.
Liz, thanks for everything. You and that cop saved my life. By the way, he’s not such a bad guy. I’ve talked to an old friend. She’s going to let me share her place. I’ll call you soon. Love, Mary.
Liz wanted to rip somebody’s head off. Either that or sit down and cry for about a week. Or something in between those two extremes. She felt as if she was on a seesaw. She’d been high in the air, and the other person had just jumped off, causing her to hit the ground with a thud. Every bone in her body ached with the pain of betrayal, of abandonment.
She wanted to damn Mary to hell and back.
Why couldn’t the girl have stayed put? What possessed her to leave? Why couldn’t she just accept Liz’s help?
Liz didn’t have any answers. All she knew was that she wouldn’t be able to rest until she was sure Mary and the baby were safe. She got herself off the floor, walked over to the phone and dialed Sawyer’s cell phone. She’d given the number out so many times in Wisconsin that she knew it by heart.
He answered on the third ring. “Montgomery.” His voice sounded so good, so solid.
“Sawyer?” she said. “It’s Liz.”
“What’s wrong?” he aske
d immediately.
She laughed. She couldn’t help it. So much for trying to hide anything from Capable Sawyer. “Mary’s gone. She left a note.”
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. She realized that Sawyer wasn’t surprised. It made her angry with herself that she hadn’t seen it coming, as well.
“You’re not surprised, are you?” she asked. “That’s why you made her write down her statement. You knew she wouldn’t be around to do it later.”
Another pause, although this one was shorter than the last. “I didn’t know,” he said. “Not for sure. I had an idea she might run.”
“I didn’t see it.” It broke her heart to admit it. How could she keep her girls safe if she didn’t anticipate, if she didn’t plan ahead?
“Liz,” Sawyer said, “don’t beat yourself up. She’s a fickle kid.”
A kid living in an adult world with adult dangers. “I’ve got to find her. I’ve got to know she’s okay.”
“No! That’s crazy talk. You aren’t going after her again. You know what happened the last time.”
Sawyer’s tone no longer held sympathy, but now a warning. A couple weeks ago she’d have taken offense. Now she could hear the caring behind his harsh tone.
“I’ll be careful,” she said. “I won’t do anything foolish.”
“You’re not listening. You won’t do anything. It’s over. She’s gone. Let her go.”
“I can’t do that.” She knew he didn’t understand. Knew that he couldn’t. She needed to help him. “Sawyer, I told you that my sister, Jenny, died. What I didn’t tell you was that I had the chance to save her.”
“What?”
“Two days before she killed herself, Jenny left a message on my machine. ‘Call me,’ it said. I tried. No one answered. I wasn’t worried. She’d left messages like that before. I got home from work the next night, and there was another message. ‘Please call me,’ it said.” Her voice cracked, and she swallowed hard, knowing she needed to get through this.
“Liz, sweetheart, it’s okay. You can tell me later.”
“No. I need to tell you now. I didn’t call. My friend and I had tickets to the opera. I’d left work late. She was already waiting outside my apartment when I got home.”
She heard him sigh. It made her want to reach through the phone and hug him.
“I tried first thing the next morning. Couldn’t get an answer. I remembered that my parents were out of town for the weekend. So, I drove to the house. You know the rest.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s not your fault. There’s no way you could have known.”
“Perhaps not. But what I learned is that people reach out for help in different ways. I don’t know if Mary’s reaching out. Maybe she’s not. Maybe she’s pulling away and I’m just scared to let go. But I can’t take the chance.”
There was a long silence from his end. “Promise me,” he said finally. “Promise me that you won’t do anything until I get there. I’ll leave in fifteen minutes. I won’t stop for gas, for dinner, for anything. I’ll be at your apartment in three hours.”
No doubt about it—Sawyer Montgomery defined good. “I’ll wait,” she promised.
“Thank you,” he said, and then he hung up.
* * *
THREE HOURS and twenty-seven minutes later, Sawyer pulled his borrowed car up in front of Liz’s apartment building. He owed Sheriff Foltran a case of cold beer. That was the price the older man had quoted.
After Sawyer had hung up with Liz, he’d called him, given him a brief update and asked where he might rent a car. The sheriff had quickly set him straight, telling him that wasn’t how it was done in the country. Within fifteen minutes, Sawyer had been on the road in a 2004 Buick, courtesy of the sheriff’s wife.
He knocked on Liz’s door. “Liz, it’s Sawyer.”
And when she opened it and walked into his arms, it felt right. He held her close, his chin resting on her head, content to let the heat of her body warm his soul.
“Thanks for coming,” she said.
Three simple words. But the way she said it, it didn’t seem simple at all. It seemed huge, bigger than life itself. It filled his heart, his whole being.
He bent his head to kiss her.
She jerked back. “I had a really sore throat this morning. It’s better, but you still might catch it.”
He shook his head. “I don’t care.” He reached for her again.
She slipped into his arms. “I knew you wouldn’t care,” she said. “I just knew it.” She lifted her lips and kissed him.
He felt as if he’d come home. He wanted to consume her, to take sustenance from her strength, her goodness, her essence.
When he slipped his tongue inside and swallowed her answering groan, he knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that life would never be the same.
He kissed her for a very long time then wrapped his arms around her slim body and held her close.
“I missed you,” he said.
“I know,” she said, her words muffled, her lips pressed against his chest.
“Are you okay?” he asked. He put his fingers under her chin and lifted her face up for inspection. She had her long hair pulled back in a rubber band, and she didn’t have a speck of makeup on. She looked pure and sweet and so beautiful.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Now that you’re here, I’m fine.”
His chest filled with something that threatened to overtake him, to humble him, to bring him to his knees. “What happened, sweetheart?”
She grabbed a sheet of notebook paper off the lamp table and handed it to him. He turned it over and read it. “Damn kid,” he said.
He noticed Liz didn’t bother to defend her. But he doubted that her resolve to find Mary had lessened.
“Any thoughts on where she might be?” he asked.
“I want to go back to the bookstore. On the way here, before she went to sleep, Mary talked about getting more books for the baby. I don’t know if that woman will tell me anything, but I have to try.”
“Okay. I’ll take a ride down there. I’ll let you know what I find.”
“I’m going with you.”
“That’s not necessary. You stay here. You don’t feel well.”
She shook her head. “I need to do something. I can’t stay here.”
He knew better than to try to argue. She had such strength, such sense of purpose, such commitment to a goal. He respected that. It was one of the things he loved about her.
Loved her. It hit him like a bullet against a Kevlar-lined vest. Bruising him, shaking him, shocking him. No longer sure his legs would continue to hold him, he sat down on the couch, hard.
“Sawyer, are you okay? What’s wrong?”
Everything. Nothing. He shook his head, trying to make sense of it. He didn’t want to love her. He didn’t want to love anybody. If you didn’t love, then it didn’t hurt when you lost.
He needed air. “Let’s get out of here,” he said, standing up in one jerky movement.
She cocked her head, clearly not understanding his quick turnaround. Hell, he didn’t understand it, either. He didn’t understand much anymore.
“Sawyer, you’re scaring me,” she said.
He scared himself. “Liz, let’s go. We’re wasting time here.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
Oh, yeah, he was sure. Sure he loved her. Just not sure what to do about it.
He nodded.
“Let’s go. I’d like to get out of that neighborhood before it gets too late.”
Sawyer called Robert from the car. “Hey, partner, where are you?” he asked.
“I’m working,” Robert said. “Where the hell are you?”
“I’m working, too. Look, I need you to help me with a little surveillance at the corner of Shefton and Terrance.”
“Are you in town? I didn’t think you were coming back until tomorrow.”
Sawyer looked at Liz. He’d used the hands-free speakerphone because of heavy rush-hour traffic. “My plans changed.”
“What’s at Shefton and Terrance?” Robert asked.
“There’s a porn store on the corner of Terrance.”
“That desperate, huh?” Robert laughed at his own joke.
“Funny. Mind your manners,” Sawyer said. “I’ve got a lady in the car.”
“Hi, Robert,” Liz interjected.
“Hi, Liz,” Robert said. “Sawyer, you did say porn store?”
Sawyer shook his head. “We’ll be there in ten minutes. Meet us at the corner of King and Sparton—that’s two blocks north of the target. I’ll fill you in then.”
“Can you give me a hint?” Robert asked.
“Sure. We’re looking for Mary Thorton,” Sawyer said. “She’s AWOL. The porn store is one of her old haunts. I don’t think it’s a trap, but I don’t want to take a chance.”
Ten minutes later, Robert walked into the porn store while Sawyer and Liz waited in the car, a block away. He returned ten minutes later carrying a brown paper sack. They watched him get into the car. Within thirty seconds, Sawyer’s phone rang.
“Store’s empty,” Robert said, “with the exception of a greasy-haired old guy in overalls behind the counter.”
“No woman, about sixty with gray hair?” Sawyer asked.
“Not that I saw.”