And yet, much like the traitorous part of my brain that refused to stop lusting after Chase before we were together, there was a part of me that could imagine having a little baby with beautiful pale eyes. I could see Chase with the infant tucked ever so gently against his muscular shoulder as it slept peacefully in his arms.
“No,” I said out loud. “That can’t happen. At least not any time soon.”
Still, I feel asleep to the thought of a tiny little bundle of joy with bright grey eyes.
3
Despite this being my third time in the doctor’s office in barely a month, the visits had not gotten any easier with each trip. At least this time they didn’t require me to have any blood drawn. I simply peed in a cup, then tried to read an article on my phone while I waited for the results of my test. However, I soon found that I couldn’t focus on anything. My mind kept wondering back to Chase and our relationship.
I had dated my ex-boyfriend Scott for almost four years. We’d met during my senior year at undergrad, and had fallen madly in love almost overnight. I’d chosen to attend medical school in Chicago because it had been the one closest to where he’d found a job, even though I’d been accepted to better schools on the East Coast. I had sacrificed so much for that relationship, believing that Scott was the one. Then, when the relationship was no longer convenient for him, Scott had dumped me. He didn’t like that I was putting my studies before him. He didn’t like that I’d allowed myself to gain some weight during med school. He just didn’t like me, I was beginning to realize. He wanted me to sacrifice everything I strove so hard to achieve, and I’d almost let him. I had a sneaking suspicion Scott was intimidated by how smart I was. He wasn’t dumb himself, but the thought definitely weighted heavily on his mind. But now, with Chase, I could tell he actually admired me — my intelligence, my ambition, my fearlessness. Scott was a complete opposite of that. Plus, Chase loved my figure, just the way I was.
I had been devastated at the time Scott broke up with me. All of my plans for the future had revolved around him. Once I had pulled myself up after the breakup and rededicated my life to becoming a doctor, I had promised myself that I would never sacrifice any part of me for another person ever again. And I was going to keep that promise now, even if the person asking for that sacrifice was really great. And Chase was really great — but he wasn’t worth losing any part of my career over. No man was.
Which was why I couldn’t afford to have a baby. Not now and maybe not ever. I continued to remind myself of this, even as images of Chase playing tea party with a beautiful little girl or fishing with a cute little boy, both with his grey eyes and my wavy brown hair, kept resurfacing in my mind. They caused a little pang in my heart, even as I pushed them away.
I was interrupted from these treacherous thoughts when the doctor reentered my room, a smile on her face.
“So,” she began, “good news. You’re not pregnant.”
It was as if a weight had been lifted off of my chest. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in over a month as I heaved a deep sigh of relief. At the same time though, I wasn’t completely surprised by the tiny ping of disappointment that accompanied the relief — the regret I felt at not being able to see Chase with a little son or daughter. I shook my head, willing away all that foolishness.
“Oh, thank god!” I replied, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. I honestly didn’t know if they were from gratitude or disappointment. “But,” I continued after a moment. “I’m late. My period is never late.”
“Have you been under a lot of stress lately?” the doctor asked.
I couldn’t help but laugh at her question as I thought over the last few months.
“You could say that,” I answered finally.
“Well,” she replied with a smile, “that will do it. We could put you on birth control, it’ll help probably sort you out.”
“Sure,” I replied, knowing I needed to make sure a mistake like that never happened again. “I would really like that.”
After getting a birth control prescription, I made my way up to Chase’s office to tell him the news — and apologize for the way I had acted the night before. Now that the stress of a possible pregnancy was lifted from my shoulders, I could afford to be a bit more understanding.
“So?” Chase asked as I slipped in and sat down across from him at his massive desk.
“I’m not pregnant,” I announced with a smile.
Something like disappointment washed across his face for a split second before morphing into a grin of his own.
Surely he didn’t want a child, I thought to myself, even if he claimed he was willing to raise one.
“That’s great!” he replied after a second. “We should celebrate.”
“Totally,” I answered. “But first… I wanted to apologize for the way I acted last night. I was exhausted and stressed out and I reacted poorly. I’m sorry.”
“I understand,” Chase said. “Things got a little heated, we both reacted badly. So I’m sorry as well — for my part in it.”
“All is forgiven,” I said with a smile. “Now… about that celebrating.”
“I was thinking,” Chase began, a crooked grin on his face, “you have three days off in a row this week, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “Almost unheard of for an intern.”
“I was thinking that we could take a little trip.”
“A trip?”
“Yeah,” he responded. “I haven’t taken any time off lately myself.”
“I don’t doubt that,” I replied, knowing how much of a workaholic he was.
“Well, I was thinking now would be the perfect time. Maybe we could spend a few days down in San Francisco.”
“That’s a pretty long drive,” I said. “Isn’t it like eight hours or more?”
“Oh,” Chase replied with a smile, “we wouldn’t be driving. I have a jet.”
I was silent for a moment, taking that information in. I guess I really wasn’t all that surprised.
“Of course you do,” I replied after a moment.
“Is that a ‘yes’?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear.
“Yes!”
“I would kiss you right now,” he stated, heat burning behind his eyes, “if I didn’t have the doors to my office open, allowing everyone to see in.”
“You’ll just have to remember to do it later,” I said, a small grin on my face.
“Oh, I will,” he said. “But that does remind me… ”
Chase paused, biting his lip as if he was nervous. Except Chase Donahue didn’t get nervous — ever.
“What?” I asked, beginning to grow concerned as well.
“You probably know gossip spreads throughout the hospital like wildfire. I just want you to be prepared, that’s all.”
“Oh,” I replied.
I still remembered how I felt when the rumors first started spreading about us, but at the time they had been merely rumors. Now our relationship was real. But it was also very new. Was I ready to allow everyone in the hospital to know about my private life? It would only encourage the rumors that were already circulating about us. Some people had even suggested that I’d slept my way into my internship, even though I’d been hired by a committee of doctors that didn’t include Chase at all. Would other speculations follow suit if our relationship went public?
“We can talk about that later,” I said after a moment. “But for now, I need to get going. I have a shift starting in a few minutes and I need to change.”
“Of course,” Chase replied, though he was looking at me closely. It was eerie how well Chase knew me already, how easily he could see my hesitation. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye,” I said with a reassuring smile as I turned and walked towards the door.
Don’t freak out about this, I told myself as I made my way downstairs to the Emergency Department locker room to change. It’s not a big deal. No one is going to care.
Somehow, though, I knew I w
as lying to myself.
4
I was able to put all of these new anxieties aside for a few days, however, as I had agreed to a mini-vacation with Chase in San Francisco. His private jet was located at a small airport only twenty minutes from his house, and from there, the flight was short and comfortable. Reclining in the plush seats of the lavish aircraft, we sipped champagne and discussed what we would do in California. I’d never visited, so I allowed Chase to make all of the plans, happy to just relax and enjoy the time away from the real world and all of my worries.
There was a limousine waiting for us at the airport, which took us to a small but lavish hotel near the Fisherman’s Wharf. The room was large, with pale blue walls and sheer drapes. There was a king-sized bed in the middle of the room and floor-length windows overlooking the harbor. It was late by the time we checked in, so all I could see were tiny balls of light indicating ships in the harbor as I peered out the window.
“The view will be amazing tomorrow,” Chase whispered in my year as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, gazing out onto the bay.
“It’s amazing even now,” I replied. “In the dark.”
We were both tired, having worked full shifts earlier that day, so we ended up passing out soon after we had settled in and ordered room service.
“I promise to make it up to you in the morning,” Chase mumbled into my shoulder before quickly drifting off to sleep. I soon followed suit, lulled to sleep by the comforting warmth of his breath of against my neck.
I woke up the following morning with the sun shining brightly through the windows and Chase’s warm body wrapped around mine. I smiled in satisfaction, realizing I didn’t need to be up for work. However, the siren call of San Francisco kept me from easily falling back to sleep. I shifted beneath Chase until he was grumbling awake, even less of a morning person on vacation than he was at home.
After allowing Chase to make up for the previous night in the shower that morning — I liked to think that shower sex had become “our thing” — we relaxed over bagels and coffee at a small café across from our hotel. We then strolled around the Fisherman’s Wharf, watching dockworkers and boats in the bay. I’d been living near the Pacific Ocean for a few weeks now, but my internship at the hospital kept me from really having a chance to enjoy it. Here in San Francisco, it was easier to stop and smell the roses — or in this instance, the ocean.
“The bay is beautiful,” I said as we watched the seagulls and pelicans. “But do you think we’ll have time to actually see the ocean? I’ve always wanted to visit the Golden Gate Bridge.”
“Of course,” Chase assured me, “Well make that happen tonight!”
Chase insisted on ducking into every little boutique that caught my eye and refused to let me pay for anything. I tried to argue, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, purchasing anything I seemed to show even the slightest interest in.
That evening, Chase made a reservation at a upscale restaurant in Ghirardelli Square, which had come highly recommended by the concierge at our hotel. We arrived early to explore the renovated old chocolate factory before dinner. A few minutes later, we were seated in a booth beside a window, with an unobstructed view of the bay.
“Thank you so much for this,” I replied after we placed our order. “This trip has been so lovely.”
“Very lovely,” Chase agreed, though his voice had a weird timber to it. I realized he was gazing at me, not the view of the bay. I couldn’t help but blush under his heated look.
“Cheesy,” I replied, trying to break the tension. I had never been good at romance or mushy things. I was a girl of science, after all. But, despite everything, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
“So,” Chase began as the salads arrived. “I did want to talk to you about something.”
“And what that might that be?” I asked playfully.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you had a slight… reaction when I warned you about the inevitable rumors earlier this week.”
“Oh… yeah,” I replied, growing serious. “Sorry. It just seems a little early to worry about that, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know. Every time I dated someone before, it seemed the whole town knew about it. And people at the hospital are the worst. I once dated a nurse; she claimed I was the reason she had to quit her job and forced to find another position,” Chase admitted. “She’s a bad example, because I think she facilitated some of the rumors herself. She was dating me for my money, I soon realized.”
I smiled. I definitely wasn’t “after” Chase because of his wealth, and I was pretty sure he knew that — and respected me all the more for it. I liked his confidence, so much at odds to mine. Even though I was ambitious and self-reliant, at times my apprehensiveness and uncertainty overwhelmed me. His confidence in me, in particular, was almost soothing. I’d never gotten that feeling from my parents. Plus, I liked that he admired my intelligence. I didn’t need to hide it from him, or be ashamed of my determination.
That he was now trying to protect me from what was inevitably going to happen, was classic Chase. I shouldn’t have been surprised that the man who spends his free time going over old cases of possible patient mistreatment would want to make sure that he handled even a personal relationship in the most professional way possible.
“I’m only looking out for you,” he continued. “Just try not to think about it when it happens. People can be cruel sometimes, and I’d hate to see you suffer from their malicious attitude.”
I nodded, and we let the subject drop as our food arrived. After enjoying the most divine lobster bisque that I’d ever tasted — and an exquisite glass of Napa Sauvignon Blanc, now that I was sure I wasn’t pregnant — we took a cab to the Golden Gate Bridge. We walked along the west side of the bridge, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Near the middle, I couldn’t help but pause as I gazed out at the setting sun.
“I’ve seen the sun set over Lake Michigan in Chicago so many times,” I told Chase, who was huddled up next to me, trying to brace himself against the chilly ocean wind. “It’s nothing like this. The ocean is so immense — so breathtaking.”
Turning to take in Chase’s reaction, I realized that — much like in the restaurant — he wasn’t looking out at the sunset at all, but at me. I moved towards him, and he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.
“You,” he whispered over the wind, “are breathtaking.”
I wanted to protest the sheer corniness of the comment — of the entire moment, on the famed Golden Gate Bridge overlooking the sun as it set behind the ocean. But I just couldn’t. Instead, I shivered — and not from the brisk ocean breeze. Chase obviously thought I was chilly, however, as he took off his jacket and draped it across my shoulders.
Reaching up, I ran my fingers across the side of his face, gazing into his pale grey eyes as the wind whipped through our hair.
“You are too,” I replied before I could stop myself.
Leaning forward, I kissed him: in the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge, with the sun setting behind us — like something out of a movie. It’s probably the most clichéd thing I’ve ever done, but it felt so right in the moment. Pulling back slightly, I smiled at him.
“I’m not scared of stupid gossip,” I whispered. “Let them talk, see if I care.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep. I let them frazzle me the last time the rumors circulated about us. But now — I don’t care. It’s my life, no one can claim I’m some kind of a gold-digger since I’m a doctor, and, damn it, if they go too far, I can stand up for myself.” I still wasn’t sure I was ready for the barrage of rumors that would most certainly overwhelmed me when we got back, but forcing myself to think that I couldn’t care less helped me calm down about the subject.
“That’s what I lo—,” he stopped, for a split second, “like about you so much. You’re gorgeous, and audacious, and you have a beautiful mind.” He sucked in a breath. “Damn it, I’ll just say it now.
I love you, Kaia Davenport.”
Without even letting me respond, he leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine again. I could feel him smiling against my lips. Allowing myself to forget about everything that had happened over the last few weeks and what would happen when we got back to the real world, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled Chase closer as we kissed against the setting sun.
That he was confident enough not to hold his breath and wait for me to respond, made me only love him more. Yes, damn it, I loved Chase Donahue. I knew that now, for sure.
5
I spent the night following our return to Oregon at my own apartment, needing a little space to clear my head after the whirlwind romance that was our trip to San Francisco. The next morning, I took the bus to work early, wanting to stop in Chase’s office before my shift. I still didn’t say “I love you” back, and knew I wanted him to hear me say it. But for some reason, I was afraid of saying it aloud.
The nervous ball in the pit of my stomach relaxed slightly when Chase smiled at me. He was dressed impeccably as always, in a bespoke suit and a pale grey tie that matched his eyes.
I can do this, I told myself.
“Morning, Kaia,” he said, an all-too-familiar smile spreading across his face.
“You almost sound like you missed me,” I smiled back.
“What if I did?” He walked around his desk and perched on the edge, close to my chair. “You seem nervous about something,” he said, before reaching up to cup my chin.
Leaning forward, he pressed his mouth against mine. I wanted to pull back, arguing that the door to his office was open and this wasn’t appropriate. But the feel of his lips on my own was causing my head to grow foggy, and any reservations I had soon flew out the window.
The Unexpected Crush, Book Three (An Alpha Billionaire In Love BBW Romance) Page 2