Love or Duty

by Rosie Harris

  ‘Since Kelly isn’t going to be able to walk any distance for quite a while, I shall need a pushchair to take her out in,’ she explained to Ellen Murphy, bringing her thoughts back to the present.

  ‘You might be able to get one at the pawnbrokers or at one of the second-hand shops in Scotland Road,’ Ellen suggested. ‘Make sure you haggle with them though or else they’re bound to diddle you when they see how posh you are,’ she warned as she appraised Penny’s crisp pink cotton dress and matching straw hat. ‘Would you like me to go and see if I can get one for you?’

  ‘That would be very helpful, Mrs Murphy. I’ll wait here with Kelly.’

  ‘I’ll take the baby along with me and leave the other two with you as well as Kelly then,’ Ellen Murphy told her as she pulled a heavy black shawl around her shoulders even though the sun was beating down outside. ‘How much do you want to pay for it?’ she asked, holding out a grubby hand for some money.

  ‘I’ve no idea what they cost,’ Penny said hesitantly. ‘Can I leave that to you, Mrs Murphy,’ she added trustingly as she handed her a crisp five-pound note. ‘Make sure it’s a nice one and big enough for Kelly to be comfortable in.’

  Ellen Murphy was away such a long time that Penny became worried and wondered if she was ever coming back. Kelly was whimpering with pain and frustration and the two smaller children were sitting on the floor with their thumbs in their mouths simply staring at her.

  Penny tried talking to them but they didn’t seem to understand what she was saying and she felt completely out of her depth. When she asked if they would like to play a game together all three of them completely ignored her question.

  She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Ellen in the hallway. The two children seemed to come to life and rushed out to see what she had bought. Even Kelly stopped whimpering and stared with interest as Ellen manoeuvred the pushchair into the room.

  Penny studied the cumbersome contraption dubiously. ‘That certainly looks very sturdy, Mrs Murphy,’ she said with a forced smile.

  ‘It ought to be – it cost enough. The pawnbroker wanted three quid for it but I managed to beat him down to two pounds and ten shillings,’ she said triumphantly as she handed Penny the change.

  ‘Well then, if Kelly is ready we’ll get going. Can you help me to settle her into it?’

  Kelly made no protest other than to let out a whimper when her mother tried to bend Kelly’s leg so that her foot could be on the footrest and then jammed her crutches in at her side.

  ‘If that is hurting then you may be more comfortable if you keep your leg out straight,’ Penny suggested. ‘Perhaps we can find a cushion or something to support it,’ she added, looking around the room hopefully.

  ‘Cushion! We’ve no cushions in this place,’ Ellen told her sourly. ‘There’s an old cardboard box the other kids play with; you might be able to use that.’

  ‘No, I don’t think so,’ Penny demurred.

  ‘Then what about sticking that paper bag with her vest and stuff in it under her bad leg and letting her hold her crutches on her lap.’

  Penny felt very conspicuous as she began to walk from Cannon Court to Scotland Road after Ellen had helped her to get the pushchair up the steps from the basement. Try as she might, she found it difficult to steer it in a straight line.

  It was a long walk to the Pier Head and by the time she reached the top of Water Street Penny was already feeling exhausted. At least I’ll be able to sit down and have a rest once we are on the ferry boat, she told herself. At the other end, though, there would be a long walk home along the promenade from Seacombe to Penkett Road.

  Although she kept talking to Kelly and asking her if she was all right, especially when she jolted her rather violently when negotiating the pushchair up and down the kerbs, Kelly remained silent.

  Penny wondered if she was already missing her mother and the rest of her family but was afraid to mention the fact out loud in case Kelly dissolved into tears.

  By the time they reached the ferry and she was negotiating the pushchair up the ramp on to the Royal Daffodil Penny realized that the reason Kelly was so silent was because she was so overawed by what was happening to her.

  ‘Where are you taking me, miss?’ she gasped fearfully, staring at the dark swirling waters of the Mersey.

  ‘Over to Wallasey; it’s where I live,’ Penny told her lamely.

  ‘You mean you are taking me to your house?’

  ‘That’s right. I thought your mother explained to you that I am going to look after you until your leg is better and you can walk again?’

  Kelly regarded her solemnly, her deep blue eyes filling with tears. She nodded her head, her teeth biting down on her lower lip. ‘Yes, I know that, but I thought you meant you were coming to live at our place and look after me there,’ she gulped in a small voice.

  Before Penny could answer there was the noise of the boat grinding against the landing stage and a shuddering as it began to slowly move out into the open river. Kelly let out a scream and clutched at Penny’s hand, her eyes wide with fright.

  ‘It’s all right; it means we are on our way. In ten minutes’ time we will be at Seacombe landing stage. There’s nothing to worry about.’

  ‘I’m frightened – I don’t like it,’ Kelly sobbed, tears running down her cheeks.

  ‘You’ve been on a ferry boat before. You must have done, because it was over on the other side in Wallasey that you ran out into the road after a ball right in front of my motor car. That was how you came to be knocked down,’ Penny reminded her.

  Kelly looked at her blankly. ‘I can’t remember nothing about what happened,’ she muttered. ‘I know my mam said that I could go to New Brighton with some older kids for the day. The next thing I knew was that I woke up in hospital and my leg was hurting.’

  She was still clutching tightly at Penny’s hand when they reached the other side of the Mersey. She wouldn’t let go even when the Royal Daffodil was manoeuvred alongside the landing stage at Seacombe Ferry and the gangplank was lowered into place so that passengers could go ashore.

  Because the school holidays had started, there were a great many young families on board. All the children were excited and eager to disembark. Penny waited until they had done so before she made her way off the boat with Kelly in the pushchair.

  It was now almost midday and the sun was burning hot and Penny found it was hard work pushing Kelly. She longed to stop and sit down but the thought of reaching home and enjoying a refreshing glass of cold lemonade kept her going.

  At least she was managing to control the pushchair much better, she thought with some satisfaction half an hour later as she wheeled it into her own driveway without mishap.

  She sighed nervously as she saw a curtain at the front room window twitch. Then, taking a deep breath, she braced her shoulders in preparation for her family’s reaction to little Kelly.

  Chapter Five

  Penny felt it was better that Kelly met her parents separately so that she wasn’t too overwhelmed. She was pleased that she had arrived back at Penkett Road when only her mother was at home. She knew her father would probably be arriving home for lunch but that would not be for another hour.

  ‘Kelly, this is my mother, Mrs Forshaw. Are you going to say “Hello” to her?’

  Kelly held her head down so that strands of her greasy dark hair fell over her eyes like a curtain.

  ‘She is finding it all rather overpowering,’ Penny said lamely as she saw her mother’s thin lips tighten when Kelly refused to speak. ‘She probably needs a drink. I know I’m gasping for a glass of lemonade,’ she hurried on. ‘It’s absolutely baking hot out of doors and it was such a long walk all the way from Seacombe Ferry.’

  ‘I had no idea you had gone to Liverpool; utter madness on such a hot day,’ Mrs Forshaw said sharply. ‘Well, if it’s a drink you both need then take the child through to the morning room and have it in there in case she spills it over the carpet.’

  He
r mother’s tone and the wave of her hand were so dismissive that Penny was made to feel uneasy, but she merely nodded in agreement.

  She wheeled the pushchair along to the morning room and left Kelly sitting there while she went to the kitchen for two glasses of lemonade.

  As she returned with them she noticed Kelly was looking around wide-eyed and could understand how frightened she must be feeling. The house was so bright and large and so very different from her own squalid surroundings. Even so, if her mother’s greeting had been warmer and more welcoming then she was sure Kelly would have responded.

  Kelly gulped down her lemonade as if she was indeed very thirsty. She managed a smile as she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth when she’d finished.

  ‘Did you enjoy that?’ Penny asked as she took the empty glass from her.

  ‘It was lovely,’ Kelly breathed. ‘Can I have some more?’

  ‘Not at the moment, because it is almost lunchtime and if you drink any more lemonade you won’t have room left for anything else,’ Penny said with a smile.

  ‘What’s lunch?’ Kelly’s small brow creased into a frown of bewilderment. ‘Do you mean we’re going to have some grub?’

  ‘That’s right. What sort of food do you like best?’

  Kelly’s eyes widened. ‘Chips or Wet Nelly or a crust with Conny Onny on it,’ she said thoughtfully. Then she added with a sigh, ‘Me mam usually gives us bread and dripping or else Scouse.’

  Penny felt at a loss. She wasn’t even sure what Wet Nelly was. She thought it was a bread pudding of some kind and decided that Conny Onny must be sweetened condensed milk. She had certainly heard of Scouse and that was a cheap stew consisting mainly of vegetables.

  She had no idea what Mrs Davies had prepared for their lunch but it certainly wouldn’t be any of those, she thought, with an inward smile. She wondered if Kelly would eat what was offered and felt apprehensive about how her mother would react if she didn’t.

  She didn’t have to wait long to find out. A few minutes later her mother came bustling through to the morning room.

  ‘As it is such a hot day and I had no idea at all where you were or what time you would be coming back I told Mrs Davies that cold ham and salad might be the most suitable for lunch. There’s fresh raspberries and cream for pudding. Do you think the child will like that?’

  ‘I’m not sure, and by the way her name is Kelly,’ Penny reminded her.

  ‘Your father will be home at any moment so I think it would be best if you two have your lunch here in the morning room rather than with us in the dining room,’ her mother responded. ‘It will give the child time to get used to being here and perhaps then she will answer when she is spoken to.’

  ‘Yes, very well, if that is what you wish us to do,’ Penny said stiffly.

  ‘I suggest that before either of you have anything to eat you clean her up. After you’ve had lunch then perhaps you should go into Liscard Village and buy her a decent dress before your father sees her; the one she is wearing is practically in rags. I imagine that everything else she has brought with her will be in much the same state.’

  ‘The only clothes she has are the ones she’s wearing,’ Penny said quietly.

  ‘In that case you’ll definitely have to go out this afternoon and buy her some. For heaven’s sake make sure you don’t take her into any of the shops where we are known, Penny, or people will start gossiping. They probably will do so anyway if they see you wheeling that horrible contraption she’s in.’

  ‘They will probably think that it is something to do with one of the many charities you support and that I’m helping out,’ Penny muttered.

  From the annoyed look on her mother’s face Penny knew she had heard what she’d said but preferred to ignore her sarcastic remark.

  Penny felt both angry and dismayed that her mother’s reaction to Kelly was so negative. She hadn’t dared hope that she would welcome Kelly with open arms, but as it was she was barely being civil towards her.

  She would have been more welcoming if I’d brought a puppy home, Penny thought resentfully. As soon as they’d had something to eat she would certainly take Kelly out and buy her some new clothes. Perhaps if she was wearing a pretty dress and her hair was washed and trimmed a little shorter she wouldn’t look so untidy and bedraggled and her father wouldn’t be quite so critical as her mother when he met Kelly for the first time.

  * * *

  Kelly was starving. She tucked into the crusty roll even before Penny had time to put any butter on it or cut the ham on her plate into small manageable pieces. Then, ignoring the knife and fork, she used her fingers to eat everything on her plate.

  She looked doubtful and shook her head when Penny asked her if she would like some raspberries and cream. When Penny offered her a taste from her own dish, however, she seemed to like it so much that Penny gave her a very small portion in a dish of her own. Kelly ate it with relish and then held out the dish for some more.

  Penny waited until she knew her father had left the house before taking Kelly upstairs to give her a good wash and to try and do something to tidy her hair before taking her out.

  Kelly looked round in awe when she carried her into the gleaming white bathroom.

  ‘I only have a bath once a week at home and that’s in a tin bath on a Friday night,’ she confided in a small voice. ‘The rest of the time the bath is on a nail outside the back door. Do you get in that great big white one, miss?’

  ‘Yes, every morning before I have my breakfast,’ Penny told her gravely.

  ‘Why? You never get grubby do you?’ Kelly said in a puzzled voice.

  ‘You also need to have your hair washed,’ Penny told Kelly while ignoring her question.

  ‘I don’t like having that done because me mam always gets soap in me eyes and it stings so bad it makes me cry,’ Kelly scowled.

  ‘Well it won’t today, not the way I’ll do it,’ Penny promised. ‘I’ll let you sit in a chair with your head back over the wash basin and I’ll use a lovely shampoo and make sure it doesn’t get in your eyes.’

  Kelly looked puzzled but agreed to do as Penny asked. It was a messy procedure and by the time she’d finished washing and rinsing Kelly’s hair Penny felt exhausted. Kelly, on the other hand, was exuberant because no soap had gone in her eyes.

  ‘I’d like to fill up the bath and let you soak in the warm water but I can’t do that because of your leg, Penny told her. ‘Instead I am going to wash you all over and then I’m going to take you shopping and buy you a new dress.’

  Kelly shuddered but made no protest as Penny stripped off her clothes and lathered the flannel with soap and began washing her from head to toe.

  Penny couldn’t believe how thin and frail Kelly was. Her ribs and shoulder blades protruded and her legs and arms were spindly. There seemed to be nothing of her, she thought uneasily as she wrapped Kelly up in a big fluffy pink towel and began to dry her.

  She felt a sense of revulsion as she re-dressed Kelly in her shabby clothes and wished that there was something else she could wear.

  The shopping trip went extremely well. It was rather difficult for Kelly to try things on because she couldn’t stand up very well. In both the shops they visited, however, the assistants were very helpful.

  Kelly loved the two pretty cotton dresses with matching cotton knickers that Penny chose for her and looked astonished when new white socks and a pair of brown sandals were added to the pile.

  ‘Now all we need are either some pyjamas or a couple of nightdresses. I suppose it will have to be nightdresses because of your leg,’ Penny mused.

  By the time they reached home again Kelly looked exhausted. She didn’t even brighten up when Penny told her that she could put on one of her new dresses and that she could choose which one.

  Kelly shook her head, yawned deeply and rubbed her eyes. ‘I’m tired, I want to go to bed,’ she said.

  ‘You haven’t had anything to eat since lunchtime. You are probably hungr
y,’ Penny told her. ‘Let’s get you all dressed up and then we’ll go downstairs for dinner. I’m sure you’ll feel much better after that.’

  ‘No!’ Stubbornly Kelly shook her head. ‘I want to go to bed,’ she repeated in a whining voice.

  ‘Oh very well, if that’s what you really want to do,’ Penny exclaimed in exasperation. ‘I’ll help you to get ready for bed and then I’ll see what I can find for you to eat and bring it up here for you.’

  Kelly brightened up, the tears and snivelling stopped. ‘Can I have a jam butty?’

  ‘You need to have something more substantial than that. Isn’t there anything else you’d like?’

  ‘A chip butty then, and could I have a sausage as well?’ she asked hopefully.

  ‘I’ll see what I can find,’ Penny promised. ‘Let’s get you into bed first,’ she added as she half carried Kelly towards the small truckle bed that had been set up on the far side of the bedroom for her.

  ‘I’ll see what I can find is what me mam always says when we say that we are hungry and all she can find for us is bread and scrape.’

  ‘I think I can do better than that,’ Penny promised as she helped Kelly to undress and put on one of the pretty cotton nightdresses that they had bought that afternoon, before helping her into bed.

  ‘Now you lie quiet for a few minutes and I’ll be back with a glass of milk and something for you to eat.’

  ‘Water’ll do if you can’t afford milk,’ Kelly assured her cheerfully. ‘Unless there is some of that lovely lemonade left; you know, what you gave me to drink when we first got here this morning.’

  Ten minutes later, when she came back upstairs with a plate of tiny sandwiches and both a glass of lemonade and one of milk, Penny found that Kelly was fast asleep.