“Anything. I would do anything for you.” Darcy swallowed back the rush of unwelcome emotions that seemed to be stuck in his throat. Elizabeth needed him to be strong. He could not allow himself the luxury of tears now nor show weakness of any kind.
“Reconcile…Theo. No matter...” her voice trailed off as her eyes closed again.
“You wish for me to reconcile with my brother?” he asked, relief quickly spreading through him.
“No matter what. Promise me,” she repeated, her voice losing strength with each word.
“I will. I promise I will, but you must promise to get well.”
Darcy closed his eyes and brought her hand to his cheek again. As he thought about how he might honor her request, the one thing she seemed to want from him, he heard the soft swish of skirts and felt a presence beside him.
*****
“You feel very deeply for her,” said the low voice of Mrs. Gardiner.
Darcy nodded and looked at the lady as he clamped down the swell of emotions that rose inside. He would not lose the tight control under which he held himself. At least that was something he was good at. He was not good at understanding others; he was not good as a brother, but control—that he could do.
Mrs. Gardiner gave him a sympathetic look. “Mr. Gardiner and I consider Elizabeth as dear as our own children.”
“May I stay? I could not bear to leave her now not knowing...” He was embarrassed by the pleading note that crept into his voice and hoped Mrs. Gardiner did not notice.
“Under the circumstances, you may stay as you are engaged. I will send Jane up. I believe she wishes to sit with her sister again.”
He nodded his head. “Thank you.”
Darcy sat in a chair on one side of Elizabeth’s bed while Jane Bennet took a seat on the other. After several hours, Mrs. Gardiner came in to relieve her niece, and the ladies took turns that way throughout the night. This type of vigil was usually the work of women, its rhythms and rituals a mystery to him. How did they know when to wake? Perhaps they had some special sense that called them when it was time. He remembered his own mother sitting by his bed during childhood illnesses. She always seemed to know when he needed her. He would not think about that now.
Darcy kept up his watch, leaving Elizabeth’s side only briefly. Once he splashed water on his face and took some tea. Another time, he stepped into the hallway so Jane could change Elizabeth’s fever-dampened nightclothes.
Upon his return, he resettled at his post, putting his head in his hands.
“Mr. Darcy?” Jane spoke softly.
He looked up into her kind, sincere face.
“Mr. Bingley has asked me to marry him,” she said simply. “Just this evening.”
“And you have accepted?” He actually felt a sense of relief at the news.
“Happily accepted. Thank you for telling him I was in Town. He called on me as soon as he received your letter.”
Darcy did not know what to say. He had been so unfair to a lovely young woman who had been nothing but kind to him. His letter informing Bingley of Miss Bennet’s presence in Town had also included a succinct apology for interfering in his friend’s life. Now, he was doubly glad he had written. “Your and Bingley’s happiness is all the thanks I require.”
She smiled. It was not her usual small, shy smile. This one lit her face. “Then you should consider yourself well-thanked every day for the rest of your life.”
After that, they fell into silence again, listening to Elizabeth’s quiet breathing. At least she did not seem to be worse. Darcy watched as Jane dipped a cloth in cool water and ran it lovingly over her sister’s face. Just before dawn, as Jane and Mrs. Gardiner were changing their watch again, Darcy saw Elizabeth’s eyes lids flutter. “Mrs. Gardiner,” he said, nodding his head toward the figure in the bed. “She seems to be stirring.”
Jane stopped and turned in the doorway. Mrs. Gardiner moved to the bed, putting her hand to Elizabeth’s forehead. She looked up and smiled. “The fever has broken. We should call for the doctor just to be certain, but I think she has turned the corner.” This time he could not stop the tear that escaped from his eye and slid down his cheek.
*****
The street outside the Old Bailey was crowded, peddlers jostling with pedestrians and men on horseback, and the usual riff-raff camped outside Newgate Prison. Darcy strode past them without a glance and went inside, nodding to the constable at the door. A roar went up from the direction of the courtroom. Someone must be putting on a good show for the spectators.
It was promising that Theo would subject himself to the chaos of the Old Bailey. It was hardly a pleasant environment, and Darcy would have thought his pleasure-loving brother would avoid it like the plague. But perhaps he actually was making some effort to learn his profession. He hoped so; with a frown, he recalled the cold letter Theo had so recently sent, telling him his allowance was no longer necessary. It was worrisome, for if the Pemberley coffers were not paying Theo’s expenses, where was he proposing to get the money?
Most likely Theo would be on the courtroom floor assisting one of the barristers, but the simplest way to find him would be from the spectator’s gallery. Darcy winced as shouts of disapproval came from the throng of onlookers, then pushed his way into the crowded space.
He could not yet see the floor, but he heard Theo’s raised voice, speaking loudly to be heard over the jeers. “When did you see Harfield after that, Madam?”
Was Theo involved in the case? Darcy craned his neck forward, but could only see the Judge and the witness, a stout older woman who said, “I did not see him after that, ‘til Tuesday night. Then he came home and sat down to supper, and he began to talk to me in a deranged state.”
A robed and wigged figure with a slight limp approached the witness. “Kindly relate what he said.” It was Theo.
The woman darted a glance at the judge. “He began to talk about the cobbler. Then I enquired who the cobbler was. He said his name was Trulock; he said the Virgin Mary was a bloody whore, Jesus Christ was a bastard, and God Almighty was a damnation thief!” Her voice rose with each blasphemy she uttered. “I am sorry, my Lord; but you said I should tell the whole truth.”
The Judge folded his hands. “Yes, yes. Mr. Darcy, have you nearly finished your evidence?”
“No, my Lord; I have eight more witnesses to examine.”
“I hardly think that necessary after the last two,” said the Judge dryly. “Mr. Siles, can you call any witnesses to contradict these facts? With regard to the law, as it has been laid down, there can be no doubt upon earth; if a man is in a deranged state of mind at the time, he is not criminally answerable for his acts; unless at the very time when the act was committed this man’s mind was sane. I confess, the facts proved by the witness bring home conviction to one’s mind, that at the time he committed this offence, he was in a very deranged state.”
The hubbub began again, with men around him shouting advice to the Judge. Theo turned to the spectator gallery with a triumphant smile, but his smile faded when he spotted Darcy, then he returned his attention to the courtroom floor.
The prosecutor approached the bench and consulted with the Judge, then turned to say something to Theo that was lost in the noise.
The Judge raised his voice, turning toward the jury benches. “Gentlemen of the Jury; the prosecutor’s opinion coinciding with mine, I submit to you whether you will not find that the prisoner, at the time he committed the act, was not so under the guidance of reason as to be answerable for this act. If he was not, as seems to be evident, you must find him not guilty.”
The men on the jury began to put their heads together, whispering, but Darcy’s eyes were fixed on Theo, who spoke clearly. “My Lord, we, who represent the prisoner, are highly sensible of the humanity, justice and benevolence of every part of the Court; and I subscribe most heartily to the law as it has been laid down.”
After no more than two minutes of discussion, the foreman of the jury struggle
d to his feet. “We find the prisoner is not guilty; he being under the influence of Insanity at the time the act was committed.”
“’E’s mad as a hatter!” cried a man to Darcy’s right.
Darcy’s mind was buzzing as loudly as the crowd around him. Theo looked perfectly comfortable in the court. Was it possible he truly had been working as a barrister? If so, why had he said nothing of it? How could he have found clients? It made no sense. His eyes followed his brother as he cordially shook hands with the prosecutor.
*****
The next prisoner was already being led in, and Theo was gathering his papers, apparently in preparation to leave. Darcy shouldered his way through the mass of spectators, then looked up and down the stone corridor. Where would a barrister go immediately following a trial? Even if he knew, it would not help, since he did not frequent the environs. He had only been in the Old Bailey once, and that in his student days when he had gone once out of curiosity to see what a trial looked like. That had been more than enough for him.
With a frown, he strode down the corridor toward the stairway. He would simply have to hunt until he found him. Judging by the look on Theo’s face when he had spotted him, Darcy doubted Theo would be searching him out. And who could blame him? Once again, he had wronged Theo in believing he, like Wickham, had made no more than a pretense of studying law and that any career he may have forged had been by luck rather than talent.
After asking directions, he found his way to a wide passageway. For a moment, he thought Theo was not among the group of mostly bewigged men, but then he recognized the stance of one who stood with his back to him, speaking with an older gentleman who clapped him on the arm and laughed. Darcy carefully picked his way past the other junior barristers until he reached his brother.
“…was well done,” said the older gentleman. “Particularly how you said nothing about his state of mind until it came time for the defense. When you said you were convinced that, in fact, he had stolen the horse, I thought Siles’ jaw might hit the table! And then in less than a quarter hour, you destroyed his case.” He turned a piercing look on Darcy.
Had he seen that face before? It seemed oddly familiar. Darcy cleared his throat. “Congratulations on your victory, Theo.” It sounded hollow even to him.
“I thank you,” Theo said coolly. “Mr. Garrow, may I present to your acquaintance my brother? William, you have no doubt heard of Mr. Garrow, the Solicitor General.”
“Indeed. One could scarcely avoid it. It is a privilege, sir.”
Garrow shook his hand with a firm grip. “You must be very proud of this young man. He has made a fine start for himself this last year. I admire a young barrister who is not afraid to take on the most difficult cases.”
Darcy wished he could sink into the floor. “I was most impressed with what I saw today. It was well done, Theo.”
Theo’s expression was guarded. “It was not a difficult case.”
“Not when you were in possession of the facts,” said Garrow. “But had you done as many barristers would do, and not interviewed him and sought out his acquaintances, he would have been convicted without a second thought.”
With a small smile, Theo said, “It would be a dull job if there were no puzzles to solve.”
“Well, I must be off,” Garrow said. “You will join us for dinner tomorrow night, Darcy?”
Theo inclined his head respectfully. “Of course, sir.”
After Garrow had departed, Theo turned to his brother. “What are you doing here?”
He should have known Theo would not make this easy. So much had happened. Had his own withdrawal shaped Theo’s life in some way? Had his lack of guidance as an older brother made Theo seek out Wickham’s companionship? How could they mend the brotherly bonds they had ripped apart—that he had ripped apart—all those years ago?
“Do you have time to talk?” Darcy asked.
“I am rather busy at the moment,” Theo replied, although clearly he was not. He simply stood there, wig and gown in hand, waiting.
Relieved his brother did not run from him, Darcy struggled to find a way to begin. He hesitated, and then the words tumbled out. “She was very ill with a fever. The wound became inflamed because of our aunt’s incompetent idiot doctor. I thought I was going to lose her, that it was all over when I had just… just found her.” He could feel himself crumbling, diminishing somehow with each sentence, as if he was folding in on himself. Finally, his voice faltered, and he turned away not wanting his brother to witness his pain, his weakness. What was wrong with him? He was in a public place. No one should see this.
Theo grabbed his upper arm and tried to turn him back. “Miss Bennet has been so very ill?”
Darcy nodded.
“But she is well now?” Theo asked, a shadow of concern crossing his face.
Darcy nodded again unable to speak.
“Thank God!” Theo exclaimed, tilting his face up, his eyes closed. “I have not seen you like this since…” Theo shook his head and ran his fingers though his untidy hair. “Even then you were so controlled, became so…” He stopped suddenly.
“Go ahead. Say it,” Darcy told him through gritted teeth.
“So cold.”
“Do you think I did not…that I do not grieve for Sebastian? Or our parents? I wanted to howl at the moon, but I could not. I had no choice. Someone had to hold the family together.” The softness of his voice only served to emphasize the depth of his pain.
*****
Theo stared at his brother in amazement. He had never seen him so emotionally raw, so exposed. “Come with me. I know a place more private.”
Taking Darcy by the arm, he guided him away. Just a short distance down the hallway, they pushed through a set of doors into an empty courtroom.
“This is more private?” Darcy asked, looking around in disbelief.
“All trials in this court are over for the day. No one will come in. We can sit in the back.” Theo made his way to an empty bench, checking over his shoulder to make sure his brother had followed. Darcy collapsed onto the seat and took a deep breath as if he had not been able to fully breathe in a long while. They sat in silence for a time.
“You were brilliant today, Theo. I had no idea you were such a skilled barrister. And Garrow is your mentor. What an honor!”
“In other words, you did not believe me when I said I was actually working in the law, trying cases. You thought I was like Wickham, who only played at it.” He could not keep the edge of sarcasm from his voice.
“I could deny it, but that would not be fair. I admit I was wrong. It makes me wonder what else I may have been wrong about. I thought I knew you so well, but I see now I did not know you at all. I would like to change that.”
“Offering an olive branch?”
“Of sorts.”
“What precipitated this sudden change in you?”
“I do not consider it sudden. That night when you were so ill after taking Anne’s medicine—that was when I realized how unfair I had been to you and how much I regretted pushing you away. I tried to mend my ways, but when I heard that gun fire and thought first you, then Elizabeth had been hurt, the old habit of being angry at you came back. I should not have said what I did. It was unfair. It was my fault.” Darcy had a faraway look in his eye and seemed to be speaking about much more than just their estrangement.
“You are doing this for her. Am I right?” Theo asked.
“Family is very important to Elizabeth, and yes, I promised her I would attempt a reconciliation with you, but truly, it is not just for her. It is more because of her.”
Theo’s first reaction was to berate his brother, to push him away. If Darcy was only doing this to please Elizabeth, Theo did not want it. Examining his brother’s face, he saw sincerity and honesty which made him willing to at least listen. “I am not certain I understand.”
“I realized I cannot be the husband she wishes for, the husband she deserves, unless I make some alternations in my li
fe. I may have been granted her hand, but it is her heart I truly desire.”
“I have never seen you like this. I had no idea the depth of your affection for her.” Theo shook his head in amazement. “You are certain she is going to recover?”
“I did not leave until the fever broke this morning, and the doctor had visited to confirm her recovery. I only went home long enough to clean up and then came here directly.”
They sat in silence again, both uncertain what came next. They had shared more real truth in these past few minutes than they had in years, and now neither knew how to proceed, how to mend what had been broken for so very long.
“Will you come with me to see Elizabeth? I think it would relieve her mind to see us together,” Darcy asked.
“It is not going to be that simple,” Theo responded warily.
“I know, but could it be a start?” Darcy asked.
*****
Theo blew out a deep breath. How did one respond when the world no longer obeyed its natural order? The sky was blue, the grass green and his brother angry. That was the way of things. Was it possible for such truths to change? Perhaps, in a single moment?
Pleasing though the thought might be, it was a great deal to take in. Now he was to face Miss Bennet? No—not quite yet. Surely it would not be too much to ask for some minutes to compose himself. His stomach pinched and grumbled. He raked his fingers through wind-tousled hair.
“I am sure you wish to be off immediately to see Miss Bennet,” he said softly.
“It would be my preference.”
Theo scuffed his boot along the floor. “I would like very much to oblige you. But the truth of the matter is that I have yet to break my fast today.”
“But it is nearly—”
“I know.” Theo shrugged, “but I find I cannot eat before Court.”
Darcy cocked his head and looked at him. Not with a causal gaze, but with an almost soul-piercing intensity. Theo squirmed. Perhaps the angry brother was not so bad after all. This intense one would take some getting used to.
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