by Diana Fraser
“And they might have done if you’d replied to your posts, if you’d been where you’d said you were. I went and checked. God, Maia, I thought you’d been abducted or something. I thought—”
“Lucy thought I’d abducted you,” Razeen interrupted. “But you’re well, Maia?”
“Of course.” Maia smiled at Razeen. “I last saw you at the airport when you kindly arranged for one of your staff to show us around. You probably weren't even informed we went to the Lodge. But it was there I met Mohammed.” She paused looking from one to the other. “Thank you, Razeen—Your Majesty—for bringing Lucy to me.”
Razeen smiled at Lucy. “It’s been my pleasure.”
Maia’s gaze first rested on Razeen, then Lucy. “How did you meet?”
Razeen didn’t move his eyes from Lucy. “She emerged from the water one night, like a water sprite. I think she’s not comfortable anywhere other than the sea.”
Maia laughed. “She was always that way. Even in winter, she’d swim in the sea.”
Lucy raised an eyebrow. “If you two have quite finished talking about me, perhaps we could get to the real issue of how long you intend to stay in this place.”
Maia smiled thoughtfully. “That, Luce, is complicated. Come and eat with us. The women are busy preparing food.”
“But—”
“Luce, the village will be expecting it.”
Razeen nodded in agreement and returned to the sheikh of the local tribe who was waiting for him. Maia fixed her scarf back over her face, linked arms with Lucy and they walked up steps to a wide, deep terrace that was obviously used for entertaining guests. The basic furniture was hewn out of the rock. At its centre was a large round table around which colorful woven cushions were strewn. To one side, stone benches were covered with dishes being brought out from the caves. A watercourse from the oasis had been diverted to water the well-established vines that climbed up and over the top of the terrace, their leaves fluttering in the breeze. The air was fragrant with spices—some of which Lucy recognized from her visit to the market—and freshly baked bread.
Maia brought Lucy to a man, tall, dark and extremely handsome, who stood back watching them.
“Lucy, I’d like you to meet Mohammed.”
Lucy eyed him suspiciously but shook his hand. He returned her suspicious look.
“Mohammed.” Lucy said shortly.
“Welcome to my home.” Mohammed said politely but with a definite chill to his almost perfect English.
“You speak English well.”
Again the slight curl of his lips. “As do you. It must be something to do with us both being educated in the West.”
Maia laughed uncomfortably. “Lucy, Mohammed has worked and studied in England—King Razeen’s grandfather established scholarships to promising Bedouin children—but Mohammed decided to return to his country to help his family and his people.”
“Please, come and be seated, my father wishes to begin.”
Lucy exchanged a quick look with Maia who was seated demurely next to her. Neither spoke as the formalities were exchanged between the Bedouin sheikh and Razeen. But Lucy felt Maia’s hand enclose her fist and squeeze it.
After the formalities were over, the feasting began and the men’s talk centered on politics and the economy leaving Lucy and Maia to talk uninterrupted. As soon as they could, they excused themselves and Maia showed Lucy around the caves.
Inside were a series of rooms connected by narrow passageways leading further back into the mountain. It was cool and comfortable and surprisingly luxuriously furnished. Maia took her further back until they were in a huge cavernous space. “This is where the people would come when they were under attack. There were stone doors that slid into position and couldn’t be seen from the outside. Obviously they’ve been removed now for safety reasons—”
“Maia, stop. What the hell are you doing here? Tell me truthfully.”
Maia awkwardly brushed her hand across the solid walls. “Mohammed, the way of life, the caves. Lucy, I’ve never felt so happy, so secure, so loved, in all my life.”
The comment cut through Lucy like a knife. Her sister was happy here, in the middle of nowhere? “Is it the security, then, that makes you so happy?”
“That’s part of it. It comes, not just from Mohammed, but also from this place. He makes me feel so different about myself. It’s like I have nothing to prove, nothing to struggle for, to fight for. I can just be myself and be treasured because of that.”
Despite herself, Lucy couldn’t help be moved by the far-away look shining in Maia’s eyes. But the stronger the light shone, the deeper her fears grew. “Sounds wonderful.”
“It is.”
Lucy took a deep breath, fixed a polite smile on her face and looked around, trying to hide her own fear.
“Razeen needs to leave tomorrow morning early if we’re to get back to Sitra by nightfall. Are you coming, Maia?” She knew the answer but she had to ask the question anyway.
Maia shook her head, her eyes full of love and sympathy. She took hold of Lucy’s hand. “Mohammed was worried you’d persuade me to leave. That’s why he was so defensive. But he has no reason to worry because I can’t leave. You must understand, Lucy. I’ve found a life here I never thought I’d have. I love Mohammed, so much.”
“Lucy opened her mouth to speak the words of sadness and loss that filled her but she swallowed instead and drew Maia to her and held her tight. “I'm happy that you're happy.”
Maia drew back and cupped Lucy’s tense face. “Oh, Luce! That means so much. And, just because I choose to live here doesn’t mean I won’t travel, that I won’t see you. I’ve earned enough money over the past few years to fund, not only what I need to do here, but trips to see you. But not for a while.”
There was something in Maia’s voice that made her frown. “How long a while?”
Maia slid her hands down to her stomach, her fingers fanning out over it. “At least six months. I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant.” The word was barely uttered. It fell from Lucy’s lips like a lead weight, stirring as it did an unfathomable pain that Lucy had spent the last eight years trying to suppress. She hadn’t known it was still there. “You want children after all we said, after all that happened? Look at the spectacular mess our parents made of it.” She swallowed the bile that threatened to rise. She had to say it. “Look what happened to me when—”
Maia pressed her fingers against Lucy’s lips. “Don’t say it. You don’t need to go there.”
Lucy gulped down a lungful of hot, dry air, willing the hurt of her past to recede. “What about all our dreams of escape?”
“I have escaped.” Maia said simply. “I don’t need anything other than Mohammed. The villagers have welcomed me with open arms; they accept me for who I am. Life is hard physically but I can use the money I have saved to drill a second well, a deeper well. It will save people so much time and effort. I’ll be able to afford a bus to run to the capital for hospital visits. I’ll make a difference here. And I have a man who makes all the difference in the world to me.” Maia shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you?”
“No. I’m sorry Maia, I don’t. I can see you’re happy but, to me, it just looks like madness.”
Suddenly they were aware of someone else present. Razeen stood by the door. “It’s not madness for people to freely choose where they wish to be, what they wish to do.”
Lucy sighed. “I guess you’re right. But that’s how it feels to me.” Lucy turned from Razeen to Maia once more. “Are you sure, Maia? Think about everything you’re leaving behind.”
“I'm leaving nothing behind. Everything I want is here.”
Mohammed followed Razeen into the room and stood behind Maia, his hands caressing her arms. Silently they gazed into each other’s eyes. Maia sighed and glanced at Lucy. If Lucy hadn’t known better she’d have imagined the look was a pitying one.
Lucy smiled stiffly at Maia and Mohammed. “Look after her f
or me, Mohammed.”
He nodded and his face relaxed into a genuine smile for the first time. “Of course.”
Lucy hadn’t lied. She was happy Maia had found happiness with Mohammed but it didn’t take away her own feelings of loss. “I think I’ll turn in now. We’ve an early start in the morning and I’m so tired.”
“Sleep well, Lucy.”
But, as Lucy walked with Razeen through the dark tunnels, she knew sleep would prove elusive. She might have found Maia—might be relieved she was safe and well—but underlying that was a sense she’d lost, not only Maia, but her own bearings.
CHAPTER NINE
Without Razeen, Lucy’s insomnia kicked in again with a vengeance. She slept in a room with other women, as tradition demanded, and spent the night thinking of Maia. Occasionally she dozed only to wake suddenly feeling something or someone was missing. She groaned and closed her eyes as she realized she was missing Razeen’s arms, his body pressed against hers.
As the first light of day inched its way into the room, Lucy rose, dressed and carefully picked her way around the beds and out into the soft light of dawn. She needed to see Razeen. She walked carefully down the rough steps and over to the oasis where the light was brighter. There didn’t seem to be anyone around and she silently watched the birds and animals gather at the water’s edge.
Razeen saw her as soon as he emerged onto the terrace. She appeared a lonely figure in the grey light and he guessed her feelings.
“Your Majesty, I—”
Razeen held up a hand before turning to his host. “I need a little time. I’ll return shortly.”
Time. He never had enough of it. It was never his own. But now, he needed to be with Lucy.
She was just turning away from the oasis when he came upon her. He opened his arms and she walked into them and held her face tight against his chest. He curled his arms around her, dropped his cheek against the top of her head and breathed in her subtle perfume. His body responded as it always did when he was near her but stronger than his physical response, was his emotional one. He wanted to soothe the turbulent emotions he sensed within her.
“You’re sad, Lucy. Why? You’ve found your sister. She’s well, isn’t she? She’s happy?”
Lucy pulled away from him. “She’s happy all right. But I can’t believe my city-loving sister would want to stay here. Do you think she’s been brainwashed? Drugged or something?”
He shook his head, unable to prevent a smile. “No. She looks like a woman who very much knows her own mind.”
“But, our whole lives, we’ve dreamed of a time when we wouldn’t have to put up with second best, when we could create our own world. And she’s given up.”
“She’s chosen what’s best for her. Not given up. Why is that so hard to understand?”
“Because if I accept that, then my life has lost its meaning. I thought the point was to keep on going, keep on moving, experiencing, tasting new things, not settling for anything that wasn’t exciting and new.”
Razeen suddenly saw, in that beautiful face, the face of a young adolescent girl who’d adored her elder sister and had taken the sister’s dreams of escape as a literal plan for life. “Nothing stays the same, Lucy. Not for me, not for Maia and not for you. Your life was what you needed at the time. It will change, as you change.”
She shook her head and he felt her body tense as if she’d made some kind of decision. “No. I go on doing what I’m doing. It made me happy then and it’ll make me happy in the future. I’m never going to be reliant on anyone for my happiness and I can’t believe Maia is.”
It was what he needed to hear. But why did it hurt? He relaxed his grip. “That simply means that you haven’t found anything or anyone to make you happy yet. But you will.”
He kissed the top of her head feeling regret, for his inability to be with her and for her inability to return his feelings. He closed his eyes against the fragrant smell of her hair—wood smoke, faint orange blossom of shampoo and cool morning air—and tried to imprint it on his memory.
“No, it’s not for me. Any of this.” She looked around, shaking her head and pulled away from Razeen. “I can smell food. We must eat and then leave if we’re to reach the city by nightfall.”
“You want to return so soon? I could arrange for a driver to come pick you up in a few days?”
She shook her head, her eyes revealing a poignant blend of pain and defiance. “No, I need to go. For now, I need to go. But I'll be back.”
“Then you’re right, we must leave very soon. The storm is forecast for later today.”
A look of doubt flashed across her face, swiftly replaced by a nod of determination. “Let’s get going then. I’ve had enough of storms for a while.”
But, as they walked back to the caves, Razeen cast a worried glance at the western horizon that had already grown blurred.
Over breakfast Lucy watched Maia and Mohammed and saw what she hadn’t seen the previous night—how much they felt for each other. When the time came to go, Maia fished Lucy’s antique compass from inside her abaya and grinned. “Good to see you still wearing mum’s compass.”
“I always wear it. It reminds me of when we used to look through the world atlas together. She showed me how to use the compass. She’d always wanted to go overseas, explore different countries.”
“And never did. She’d have been so happy to see you traveling. And, look here, you’ve still got the ‘Maia’ sticker I stuck above due north. Just look for that and you’ll know where I am. And where you are…” She looked at Lucy then and Lucy saw the tears in her eyes. “You’ll understand some day. I have to do this. I’ve chosen this because I love Mohammed.”
Lucy kissed her. “Then it’s the right decision, isn’t it? And a brave one. But you were always strong, always knew what you wanted. And I’ve always trusted you to make the right decision. So I know you have.” Lucy pulled Maia into her arms in an exaggerated bear hug to hide the sense of loss that still gripped her. “I’ll come back to see you before the baby’s due. I’ll be with you then.”
They hugged one last time and Lucy climbed into the vehicle.
Maia turned to Razeen. “Look after my little sister. She’s so strong, so capable that sometimes she forgets to allow people to care for her.”
“I will.”
Lucy didn’t look back immediately as they took off out of the valley. When she did, she saw nothing but the dust of their vehicles. Maia and her new family were lost to her.
Lucy gazed out at the wide expanse of desert that stretched, like a sea of pale gold, to the distant horizon, while Razeen and his men drove quickly through the monotonous landscape. This is what she did, she thought, absently. Either drifted on a boat controlled by someone else, or was driven in a car by someone else. And there she was, believing she was free. She was just drifting, propelled along by someone else. Her sister, on the other hand, had taken control and had chosen her future.
She glanced at Razeen. His lips formed a hard line and his expression was tense. No doubt he felt as if she’d sent him on a wild goose chase. From his perspective Maia must have seemed just fine. And no doubt it appeared insulting to him that Lucy couldn’t believe Maia could be happy in his country. She chanced another look at him—eyes fixed on the road ahead, mouth stern—and tried to contain the hurt at his withdrawal.
It was stupid to feel such things. He’d done more than she’d asked and she’d made it clear she had no interest in being with him beyond a few weeks. Besides he was the King. Why would he be interested in her? No. They had no future together and she’d done what she set out to do, found her sister and now she had to get on with her own life.
She closed her eyes and let the revving of the engine over the stones and dips of the track blot out her thoughts. She must have dozed off because when she opened them again, she had to squint and refocus. The sun had disappeared and the air was almost brown, clouds pushing their way out of the dense darkness, as if emerging from the en
d of a massive bubble blower: blood-red on brown. She’d never seen anything like it.
“What the hell is that?” She sat forward, peering at the expanse before them.
“It’s the khamseen.” Razeen glanced at her and for the first time she noticed he didn’t look merely tense, he looked worried. “We knew one was forecast but it’s moving more quickly than we thought.”
“Will we get back to the city in time?”
“Let’s hope so, or else we’ll be lost. We rely on the compasses for navigation.” He tapped the one in the car. “The khamseen brings electrical disturbances that makes them useless.”
Lucy’s hand gripped the compass that hung around her neck. A frisson of fear ran through her body. “Right.” Lucy stared at the apparition that appeared like some enormous living being—terrible and majestic—as the clouds continued to spew forth upwards, as if ejected from a giant volcano. “So how far is the city now?”
“An hour away.” He glanced at her and mustered a grim smile. “But don’t worry, Lucy. We’ll get to the city in time.”
But she could tell by the way he gripped the steering wheel his words were designed to reassure, not to tell the truth.
“And if we don’t?”
He shrugged. “We will have to sit it out. But we will get there in time. It’s moving fast upon the city. But then, so are we.”
“So it’s a toss-up as to who gets there first.”
He didn’t answer as he shifted gears to get the vehicle up a particularly steep incline. From the top of the incline she could saw the city—all soft ochre and sand tones, sitting quiet and vulnerable in the path of the oncoming storm that massed red and terrible now, obliterating from sight everything behind it as it grew into a massive wall of whirling sand.
“There are scarves in the back, wrap one around your head and mouth.”
Lucy didn’t question him. She plucked a couple of scarves and wrapped one around herself. She lay another one around Razeen’s shoulders so he could do the same once he’d stopped driving.