The sight shocked me to my core as I tried to process why they were laughing and happy, like old, dear friends. I hung back as they approached and didn’t move until they came inside.
I waited on my sofa for him to reach our apartment, but long minutes ticked by. A good half-hour passed before I decided to go find him. I started first with Hannah’s room, which was thankfully empty. If I had found them together, Cillian would have had a clear path to become king because I would have disposed of Auggie and Hannah with my bare hands.
I realized that music filtered up the stairs from the first floor. I followed it down to the conservatory, where I opened to find them both sitting on the piano bench as he played for her.
It reminded me so much of the night he first kissed me I was frozen to the spot, recalling what this Duke of Mayhem had told me once so long ago. “Usually when a ballsy girl shows up on my doorstep in the middle of the night, it’s to see how far she can get. This is usually fine for me because I like to see how far she’ll go. It’s a game, you see.”
I couldn’t help but watch and wait, my heart clutched with fear that he would pull her into a kiss like he had done to me.
“That’s beautiful, Auggie,” she said, her eyes drifting to his mouth. “Play me another one.”
He grinned. He liked the sound of that. “Here’s something new,” he told her, before he launched into the song that he sang for Jack that very afternoon. Except when he sang it to Hannah, it didn’t sound like it was written for a child.
“You came into my life, like an answer to a prayer. I opened my eyes from a dream and found you there. You are my joy in the sadness, the dark is shattered by your light. Every day I think about you. Every day you make it right.”
The second she leaned into him I thought my heart might shatter. I cleared my throat. They both turned towards me. He was immediately chagrined, while she appeared mildly annoyed by the intrusion.
I glared at her until she slid off the piano bench. “Apologies, ma’am,” she said. “Were you looking for me?”
No, I wanted to say. But instead, I used the moment to my benefit. And reminded her of her place. “Jack will be up soon. Would you mind terribly if he stayed in your room tonight? I’d like some time with my husband.” I only emphasized the word a little. It was the look in my eyes that made her step back.
“Yes, ma’am.” She darted past me and headed up the stairs.
I turned my glare to Auggie. He rose from the bench. “It isn’t what it looks like.”
“Oh, no?” I asked. “Because I know a little about how things go when an enamored girl ends up with you on your piano bench.”
He crossed the space between us. “We went for a ride. She asked me about the music, and I played her a little something. That’s all.”
There was so much wrong with that sentence, I didn’t even know where to begin. “Went for a ride? With the nanny?”
“She’s a remarkable horsewoman,” he explained. “Ribbons. Trophies. Her father’s a trainer for the Queen’s stables.”
“Seems you know a lot more about our employee than I do,” I snapped.
He sighed as he faced me. “What do you want me to say, Pea?”
“Say you weren’t going to kiss her just now.”
He spoke slowly. “I wasn’t going to kiss her just now.”
“And what would you have done if she had kissed you?”
“I would have pushed her away,” he snapped. “You should be familiar with the tactic.” He brushed past me and headed up the stairs. I followed.
I waited till we got behind closed doors before I responded. “What is that supposed to mean?”
He went straight for the bedroom, tearing off his riding shirt. “You know what it means. You push everyone away but Cillian, it seems.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
He swung around to me, bare-chested. “You don’t even know you’re doing it, do you? Ever since he touched you, he’s been right there between us. Every time we touch. Every time we kiss. God forbid we make love. I saw it today at Greystone. He’s in your head, Pea. Just fucking admit that’s why you’ve been pushing me away.”
“I’ve been pushing you away because we weren’t supposed to get physical. You were pushing me to do something before I was ready.”
“And will with that magic moment be, huh? It’s not about the six-week waiting period. It’s about him, Pea. Just admit it!”
“You know what? Fuck you, Auggie. This isn’t about Cillian. It was about you getting a little too friendly with the nanny. No matter if I push you away or not, you don’t get to go romance the help. I want her gone.”
“No,” he said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because this isn’t about her. It’s about you. And it’s about me.”
“You got that right, at least,” I snapped. “We’re in this marriage. You. And me. And you don’t get to just bug out whenever you need a groupie to worship you.”
His raged boiled to the surface. “Fuck you,” he said softly, before brushing past me to go back out towards the living room.
“Where do you think you are going?”
He stopped at the bar to pour a drink. He drained the glass in one gulp. “There is nowhere to go, is there?” he muttered. He swept everything off the bar onto the floor in a clatter.
“There’s no place you should want to go,” I clarified. “Unless there is,” I added, thinking of how close Hannah’s room was to our own.
He stared at me for a long minute before he finally advanced. “Kiss me.”
“No,” I snapped, backing away. He took a step forward.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re acting like a lunatic.”
“What’d you expect? You married the Duke of Mayhem, remember?” He took another step. “Is that what you wanted? The bad boy to tame. Is that why you can’t get Cillian out of your head now?”
“Cillian is not in my head!” I exploded.
Another step. “Then prove it. Kiss me.”
“I’m not kissing you,” I announced. “You’re acting like an asshole.”
“Maybe you like assholes,” he suggested. “You certainly seem to attract them.”
“I certainly do,” I ground out.
“Does it make the chase more exciting?” he wanted to know. He pulled me against him. “Does it turn you on to know someone’s every waking thought is about possessing you?”
“You’re the only one that feels that way,” I told him. “Or used to.”
“Oh, I still feel that way,” he assured. From how his body hardened against me, I knew he meant it. “It breaks my heart daily to know you no longer feel the same.”
The wounded look in his eyes softened me. “You know that’s not true.”
“Then kiss me,” he said again, softer, like a plea.
I hesitated a long moment as I stared into those bottomless green eyes. Finally, I caressed his cheek with my hand, brushing my thumb across his full mouth until he shuddered against me. I crushed my mouth against his as he lifted me up into his arms, my legs scissoring behind his back as he stumbled back towards the bed. We fell together onto the mattress in a tangle of arms and legs.
I heard Cillian’s damnable whisper in my ear. It only made me kiss Auggie harder, deeper, as I pressed into him. He ripped my top off with an impatient growl, exposing my breast to his hungry mouth. I cried out as he latched onto the sensitive peak. I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him back for another kiss, and another, and another, before rolling him onto his back so I could straddle him.
His gaze captured me. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said as his hands slid down to my hips and he ground my body against his hardening shaft.
I bent for another kiss and he flipped me onto my back. I watched as he crawled down my body, ripping away my leggings and opening me up to him. He dove in between my legs to enjoy me for the first time since Jack was born.
I realized
quickly that he had taken it easy on me when I was pregnant. Now that I wasn’t, he had no restrictions how many orgasms he could safely give me. He spent long minutes torturing me and fine-tuning me like his most cherished instrument, taking me over the edge so many times I was left an incoherent, shuddering mess beneath him. I was hoarse from screaming by the time he crawled up between my legs, so rock hard it damn near scared me. He captured my mouth for another kiss. I savored my taste on his tongue as he rubbed himself against me, lubricating that massive shaft. He nuzzled my neck. “Tell me you want me.”
“I want you,” I murmured, my hips grinding against him with such fevered desire all responsible thoughts of condoms and birth control were forgotten. “I want only you.”
“Why?” he persisted. “Tell me why.”
“You’re my husband,” I said softly. “And I love you.”
With a grunt he buried himself inside me, so deep and so hard I cried out. “You’re mine, Pea,” he said. “For now, and always.”
I closed my legs around his hips. “For now, till always,” I agreed, clutching him tighter inside me until he shuddered and groaned. My heels guided him to ride me harder than he had ever dared before. We had to be so careful in the past.
But those days were over. Now there was just the two of us and raw need built up over the past six weeks. Really, over the past nine months. I raked my nails across his back as he drilled into me, pushing me over the edge into blissful mind-warping ecstasy. “I love you,” I remember saying, before repeating his name until I was no longer capable of speech.
With one last thrust, he emptied himself inside of me with a victorious yell. He collapsed on top of me, his heart thundering against my breasts, which leaked all over us.
He chuckled. “Some things never change,” he grinned. “Jack still calls the shots whether he’s in the room or not.”
I trailed a finger along his back. “We might have just given him a sister,” I murmured, suddenly remember what desire had conveniently forgotten.
His eyes met mine. “Is that what you want?”
I put my arms around him. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? I want it all, Auggie. As long as it’s with you.” I pulled him down for a kiss as I squeezed him tight inside my body. He groaned into my mouth.
We didn’t come up for air the rest of the night.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I didn’t fire Hannah right away. I wanted to, I certainly felt I had a right to. But Dashie was completely enamored of her and he still needed her.
The bitch of it was, I needed her too.
The next couple of weeks were going to be chock full of errands and obligations. I didn’t have time to interview any new nannies, and I knew this time I would have to. There was no more outsourcing this decision of who would live in my home and help me look after my child.
This time, I wanted to pay thorough attention.
I decided to wait through the holidays and readdress it in the new year once things calmed down a bit. But I decided it was time for her to take a two-week holiday anyway, because I decided she wouldn’t be needed at Castlegate.
“Family only,” I told Auggie. He knew better than to argue.
We did sit down with her and re-established boundaries. Auggie apologized if he had led her on in any way, but their fraternizing had been completely inappropriate and would not continue.
As embarrassed and disappointed as she was, I half-wondered if she might quit. But she toed the line after that, as did Auggie, who was with his family whenever he wasn’t at the Academy.
My loving, attentive prince returned. He even agreed to birth control in the bright light of day after our night throwing caution to the wind. It was the right thing to do. We could still have the big family we wanted, but we would be smart about it. For their health and for mine.
That Monday following the christening was the start of Real Life, such as it was. Auggie went off to the Academy for another twelve-hour day, while I headed into Wandermere to meet with the Queen’s Royal Engagement Committee for my first meeting regarding the Christmas Ball.
I was late to the party and much of the planning had already been done. Instead I worked basic tasks to help coordinate, finalizing plans with the caterers and the decorators, coordinating deliveries, and finalizing the guest list. It was the lion’s share of the grunt work, but I did it happily.
Eloise was on the committee just as Riona and Viv. Three Byrnes for three Quinns, Giz, Mariel and me. I already knew how hard Giz and Mariel worked. I wanted to carry my weight and show them I was a team player who lived by the family oath to serve.
Eloise made her displeasure known. I could tell by the way she talked down to me, if she deigned speak to me at all, that she thought I didn’t belong among them. “Bitch,” Giz said, when we were working the guest list.
“Giz!”
“Well, she is,” she explained with a shrug.
I couldn’t argue. Eloise didn’t really care for any Quinn, but she didn’t treat Riona or Viv much better. Instead her cohort was Katherine Gilroy, Marchioness of Eldemar, an heiress in her early 40s who could have been Viv’s duller twin. Her only joy in life came from judging people, as evidenced by the way she looked me up and down like a specimen from the local zoo.
But I wasn’t going to let it get me down. I used the opportunity to get closer to Ree, who worked her ass off doing all the stuff Eloise and Katherine decided they were too important to do. We turned on some of Auggie’s music and finished our To Do list well before the deadline. We waited until after everyone else left to order in some Chinese food, celebration for a job well done.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had Chinese food?” I asked, scooping up some spicy Kung Pao chicken with my chopsticks.
“Have you ever been to China?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Have you?”
She shrugged. “A few times. I help Father on business trips. I help Father with everything, basically.”
It was clear the relationship was complicated. I decided to steer it to a happier topic. “So, did you ever send me those poems?”
She giggled. “No.”
“Why not?”
“They’re not very good.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” She shrugged again. “It’ll help make you a better writer. Feedback is critical to our growth.”
“I belong to a writer’s group online.”
My eyebrow arched. “No kidding? You can do that?”
She laughed. “Yeah. It’s kind of fun. Nobody knows I’m me.”
“How do you pull that off?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. People like the fantasy, I guess. Even me. I go by a pen name. I never show any selfies. It’s all a mystery. It’s just me and my words.”
I chuckled. I felt like that once upon a time. “Well, if you ever want a second opinion, you know where to find me.”
A genuine, grateful smile spread across her face. “Thanks, Pea.”
I grinned and said, “Anytime, Ree,” before I bit into a crispy egg roll.
Since the ball was the Friday before Christmas, we had a lot to do in a short period of time. This meant I was in Wandermere every other day. The days I stayed at Castlewick, I worked with Kelly and Audra to set up the Holiday Open House. This was Dash's favorite part of the week. He got to contribute to the decorating, and what six-year-old doesn’t like decorating for Christmas? Especially in a castle.
This would keep us busy until dinner, when Auggie returned home. Sometimes we ate with my folks. Sometimes we ate alone in our apartment. We got to do regular people stuff. It was bliss. We balanced new parenthood with our newlywed phase, making love when we could, even when we’d fall asleep trying because we were exhausted.
“I can’t wait till Christmas vacation,” I murmured as I drifted to sleep.
“Me either,” I think he murmured back.
With the Engagement Committee juggling three different event
s, I found myself bouncing back and forth between assignments. One of which was the annual presentation of the Nutcracker Suite performed by the Sofie Agassi Ballet Company at the Royal Symphony Hall. Since it was her baby, I rode with Viv to Cochrann so we could watch the final dress rehearsal.
Sean drove us in one of the state cars since I required a security detail. Viv pulled a discreet but elegant vaporizer pen from her clutch. I knew from the plume of fragrant vapor; it was not nicotine.
She caught my look of surprise. “You don’t mind, do you?” she asked, rolling down a window.
“No, it’s fine,” I told her. “I’m not opposed or anything. It’s just so weird that it’s so open here.”
She laughed. “That’s right. You’re from the States, where personal freedom is anything but.”
I didn’t care for her bashing my country, but I also couldn’t much argue her point.
She offered the pen. “I have plenty.”
I shook my head. “I’m still breastfeeding.”
“Bummer,” she said as she took another hit. “And from what I hear, Cousin Auggie plans to have you barefoot and pregnant for the next decade. Sucks to be you.”
I laughed. “So that’s the rumor these days, is it? I haven’t checked the socials.”
“He hasn’t exactly been shy about it,” she pointed out. “Be sure it’s what you want. You’re only going to have that body once in your life. Make sure it’s worth the payoff.”
I thought about Jack with a wistful smile. “It’s worth it.”
“Better you than me, that’s all I’m saying.”
“You never wanted to have kids?”
She shook her head. “I knew that wasn’t for me. Sometimes you just know, you know? I let Allen worry about issue. That was always his plan. Not mine.”
I nodded. “What happens if Cillian and Riona never have any more kids?”
She shrugged. “The shuttering of the house of Byrne, I guess. Good riddance,” she offered, toasting me with her pen.
“They’re not going to go down without a fight,” I said.
“True,” she nodded. “But that would involve Cillian sticking his neck out again. Or Riona sticking her neck out at all. I don’t see either happening, frankly.”
The Duke Takes a Bride (The Rocking Royal Trilogy Book 2) Page 24