by Anna Lowe
“No good?”
She chuckled. “Too good. I think I need to spread out my guilty pleasures. You know, like eating chocolate.”
“Like what?” The look on his face said he’d never struggled with that particular sin.
She patted his chest and heaved yet another sigh. “Believe me, I want it. Soon.”
I want you, my mate. Her wolf nodded along.
His eyes glowed a little brighter, and she wondered if he’d sensed her wolf talking to him. Which would be good, right? Maybe that meant her wolf could help him get through the worst of the Change when the time came.
She glanced at the sunlight slanting in through the open doorway as the sun dipped lower to the horizon. They’d loved their way straight through the afternoon, and night was only a few hours away. Night and the nearly full moon.
Janna opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again, fishing for words. She’d come to tell Cole about the Change. To break it to him gently, if such a thing were possible. And here she was, wrapped around him like a horny python around a tree.
But he looked so peaceful, so calm. Calmer than she’d seen him in ages, so she didn’t have the heart to say it just yet.
She would, though. She’d tell him soon.
A cool wind whispered through the pines on the mountainside nearby. Night. Moon. Coming soon.
She suppressed a shiver by snuggling closer and nuzzling his neck. Nuzzled long and hard until she’d chased the fear and worry away, at least for a little while. Nuzzling was a pleasure nearly as great as sex. Her sister and Simon did a lot of it, and she’d always rolled her eyes at them, but now she knew how they felt. She scraped up against his shoulder, then his neck, rubbing herself in his rich scent. Her wolf made happy, pig-in-mud noises as she did it, and she giggled.
“What?” Cole laughed.
“This. You. Me.” She kept right on nuzzling. “Us.”
“Us,” he echoed.
Us, her wolf sighed, relishing the word. Finally, we’re an us.
She let out her next breath slowly, because that was the problem. They weren’t an us yet. Not by a long shot. Somehow, she had to get him through the Change alive. Explain the impossible, then exchange mating bites, and then…
There were about a thousand things that could go wrong along the way, and for a moment, she despaired. But then she pushed the feeling away. Right now, she could enjoy the moment, knowing it helped Cole’s inner wolf bond with hers. That was the key.
Well, it seemed like the key. In truth, she knew precious little about what might help a human survive the Change. As a born shifter from a pack in which no one had ever taken a human mate, she really had no clue.
So she went right on nuzzling, because that seemed like the right thing to do.
“You’re a champion nuzzler,” he chuckled.
If only he knew.
“And you’re a champ when it comes to bulls,” she ventured. She’d had her heart in her throat, watching him distract the bull earlier that afternoon. The minute she’d made it to the safety of the fence with the little boy, she’d wheeled around and screamed for Cole. Watched him perform crazy, death-defying stunts, like leaping straight over the bull’s horns, then ducking under the rear legs when it kicked. He made it look so simple, as if tangling with two thousand pounds of murderous bull was nothing but a game of duck duck goose. The near misses, the instinctive reactions, the level-headed self-control. She’d seen him in action in that television replay, but to see him outfox a bull in real life… Her heart sped up just thinking about it.
Cole made a little sound that said, If only you knew.
“How’d you get started with bullfighting?” she asked very quietly, knowing she was venturing onto thin ice.
Cole didn’t answer right away. He tightened his arms around her and nuzzled a little more. So long and so pensively, she was about to apologize for asking. But then he spoke.
“My older brothers were into bull riding. Well, calf riding, at first.” He chuckled a little, and it didn’t even sound forced. “They made me help. We’d set up a little rodeo of our own…”
His voice had a dreamy, once-upon-a-time quality, and she smiled.
“Ha. My sister and I played dress-up when we were little.” They also played howl-at-the-moon and catch-the-rabbit, but she wasn’t about to mention that. “You guys played rodeo.” She shook her head. “How many brothers do you have?”
“Three. And two sisters. One of them played nurse. The other rode bulls, too.”
She laughed at the image. “What did your mom think of all that?”
“As long as no one went crying to her, she was more or less okay with it. I think,” he added in afterthought.
“Poor woman.”
“You have no idea.”
She couldn’t see his smile from where she lay against his chest, but she could feel it spread inside him.
“I figured I’d end up riding bulls, too, but I stuck with bullfighting. And it was good…”
He trailed off, and she could practically hear the unspoken word: Until. She rubbed his chest in circles,
“How’d you get into waitressing?” he blurted, changing the topic, and it sounded so ridiculous, they both laughed.
“Well, I grew up in a family of bartenders, and they made me bring them pretend orders…”
Cole cracked up, and the only thing that kept her from doing the same was the joy of listening to his deep, rich laugh. The kind of free and hearty laugh she wished she could hear all the time.
Maybe we can, her wolf started, hoping against hope.
She rolled and lay on top of Cole, wiggling and grinning like a fool until a horse nickered outside and the real world bumped her conscience once again.
Tell him! part of her pushed. Tell him now, while he feels good.
Right. Cole, I’m a wolf shifter, and you’re turning into one, too.
Like that would work.
You and me, baby, howling at the moon…
Much as her wolf loved the image, she knew that would never fly.
His wolf would like it, though, her inner beast chipped in.
Yes, Cole’s inner wolf would like that. But that was the problem. She had to find a way to let the beast out in tiny bits without letting it take control. She’d have to teach Cole’s human side to accept the animal within and teach the beast its limits at the same time. Too much, too soon, and the wolf could burst the boundaries of Cole’s two sides — literally.
She hid her face in his neck again. Time was running out. The Change was accelerating in Cole. She’d sensed him sniff her neck. Went boneless when he’d nipped her there and practically screamed, Yes! Yes! Yes!
Thank God she hadn’t. A mating bite would drag Cole’s beast right to the surface. She had to help him take it slow.
But Jesus, how slow did she dare go? If the beast outpaced her…
She shook her head. Couldn’t let that happen. No way could she lose Cole.
His hands played over her back, and she tried concentrating on the human side of her lover. The one still firmly in charge…or so she hoped.
“You know what we should do?” His tone was light and playful.
“What?”
“Go dancing.”
“Dancing?” She popped up to examine his face. Was he nuts? She had to save him. Talk to him. Help him through the Change. Dancing was the last thing they ought to do.
“Dancing.” He nodded firmly. “Like we did that night.”
Janna melted, just thinking about it. The night of their first kiss. A beautiful night, free of worry and doubt. A night that felt light-years away.
Cole ran a gentle finger down her cheek. “Dancing. You and me.”
Us. Her wolf nodded eagerly.
Well, maybe it wasn’t such a crazy idea. Dancing would let her wolf bond to his a little more, and it would be fun. They could dance for a while, then come back to his place, and she’d tell him once he was good and relaxed.
“D
ancing.” She nodded. “Good idea.”
“Do you have to work tonight?”
She sighed. She ought to be at work already. “Yes.”
“Well, I could meet you at the saloon—”
“No!” She cut him off too sharply, then backpedaled. “I mean, how about we meet at Jay’s Bar?”
The last thing she needed was for Simon or Soren or her sister to figure out what was happening to Cole. Or worse, for one of the Twin Moon ranch hands to figure it out. They’d drag him straight over to their alpha, and who knew what they’d do next. She’d heard of wolves killing Changelings if they thought madness would set in.
No way was she letting that happen. She had to figure this out alone. Cole needed her — she was sure of it. Her and time and space to make it through the Change. The peace in him came from being with her, because they were destined mates.
My destined mate, her wolf hummed.
He ran a finger along her collarbone and smiled a wicked smile.
“What?”
“You’re still naked, you know.”
She laughed. “Yeah, well. You’re naked, too.”
“Convenient,” he whispered, and the sound ran a few sensual circles around her ear before sliding deep into her soul.
She cupped his face and kissed him, long and deep and slow, until both their smiles faded to expressions that were more serious. Sensual. She was already draped across his naked body, so it didn’t take much for her skin to prickle and heat or for her calm, collected heart rate to speed up.
“Promise you won’t buck me off,” she murmured, sliding into a straddle over him.
“Promise,” he replied, looking up at her as if she were a goddess.
When she leaned back and lowered herself onto his erection, her eyes slid to half-mast and stayed there as she started to rock. And when he reached a hand out to play with her clit, she started squeaking again. Happy little groaning squeaks that made the fire in his eyes dance and flare. Her whole body rode him in long, languid waves, and he pushed up to meet every one.
“So good,” she mumbled, breaking into a faster pace. A lope, you might call it, then a wild, out-of-control gallop over bumps and valleys and streams that had her hanging on for her life. “Cole…”
It was the ride of her life — and possibly his, too, judging by how hard he clenched his jaw. His tight grip on her hips might leave bruises, but she didn’t care. Not when it kept her anchored tightly against him.
“Yes…” She squeezed over him then shuddered, completely out of control.
Cole hissed into a long, raspy groan and released inside her. Hot and sticky and sure to make a mess because they hadn’t remembered a condom this time, though she couldn’t care less. Not when their connection felt so good. So right.
“Cole…” She collapsed over him and clung to him tightly, as if fate might come along any second and pry her away.
“Janna…” He wrapped his thick arms around her and hung on in exactly the same way.
Chapter Eleven
Cole knew the bliss of that afternoon had to end sometime, but shoot. Did it have to end so soon?
Showering had still counted among the fun things they’d gotten up to, as did finding something for her to wear afterward.
“Try this one.” He’d tossed her a shirt and felt a ridiculous shot of possessive pride when she pulled on his button-down.
“How do I look?” She winked, modeling for him.
You look like mine. My woman. My mate.
The inner voice sounded a lot like the one he spoke aloud with: hoarse. Rumbly. Greedy for more.
“Good. Great.”
“You know what I like about you?” she asked out of the blue.
I know what I like about you, he couldn’t help thinking.
“What’s to like?” He tried keeping the anticipation out of his voice.
She shook her head at that and winched him into another hug. “I think I like everything about you. Especially how well you fit right here.” Her fingers played over his back, and she whispered, “I wish I didn’t have to go.”
He hugged back as tight as he dared. God, he wished, too.
“You’ll be okay?” She pulled back as she asked, chewing her lip.
“Fine,” he said, wondering if it was a lie. Being with her had brought him a blissful sense of balance. But saying good-bye…
He kissed her, then pulled away to get it over with — but didn’t quite succeed. He just ended up kissing her again. And again, because letting her go suddenly seemed like a bad idea. She squeezed her body against his, making him warm all over. Hard, too, like this was a greeting and not the parting it had to be.
“Gotta go,” she whispered at last, looking sadder than he’d ever seen her.
He held Janna by both arms and stroked her skin for a good minute, trying to soak in enough of her goodness to make it through the rest of the day.
“You okay?” she murmured, cocking her head to blink at him through her doe eyes.
“Good.” Looking at her, how could he feel any other way?
“Jess will be waiting,” she murmured, more to herself than to him.
Yeah, he was a greedy bastard, because he wanted her all to himself. But she had a job, just like he did, and it was time to let go.
He forced himself to release her, one reluctant finger at a time, and tried to muster a grin. “See you soon?”
She nodded. Quickly, enthusiastically. “Tonight?”
Janna had a way of saying the word that made him shiver in the very best way.
“Tonight.” He nodded.
“Jay’s Bar,” she said, and then she was off. Every step she took put a crack in his heart, and he shuffled a few steps closer to her car.
Mine! Mate!
“You sure you’ll be okay?” she called, like he was a kid being left home alone for the first time.
It felt like that, too.
“Fine.” He nodded and said it over and over again as she drove away.
He kicked the dirt and studied his boots for a little while before tilting his head back at the pure blue sky, streaked with the first pink hues of sunset. As beautiful as Janna. Well, almost. She was more beautiful than any view. More beautiful than the whole of Arizona, and that was saying a lot. More beautiful than—
He kicked the dirt again and sighed. Yeah, she was beautiful, all right. And perfect. So perfect for him.
“Excuse me,” an uncertain voice called.
He turned and saw a woman he didn’t recognize, approaching him with a child in tow.
“We wanted to thank you…” she said.
Right — the mother of the child who’d run into the bull pen. The little guy was at her side, hiding something behind his back while his shy eyes stayed firmly rooted to the ground.
“Come on, Johnny,” the lady said. “Give it to the nice man.”
Cole didn’t know if it was him scaring the kid or the situation, but either way, it seemed like a good idea to squat down.
“Hey,” he tried.
The little boy looked at his mother, who gestured to Cole. Eventually, the kid stuck a piece of paper in front of Cole’s nose.
“Now what do we have here?” Cole asked, taking it.
“A picture,” the boy whispered, dragging a foot in the dirt.
Cole turned the paper around, studied the jumble of lines and blobs, and whistled. “Nice picture. Did you draw this?”
He had no idea what was drawn under the crooked words THANK YOU, but it seemed like the right thing to say.
The boy nodded.
“There’s the bull.” The mother pointed, acting as art interpreter.
Cole tilted his head. Yeah, that U-shape could be horns.
“Big bull,” he murmured.
“And there you are,” the mother said, pointing to what appeared to be a stick figure. A really tall stick figure that seemed to dwarf the bull.
“Wow. I’m big, too.”
He meant it as a j
oke, but the kid moved his head in a series of jerky nods. “Really big,” he breathed.
Cole hid a smile behind the back of his hand.
“And there’s Johnny,” the mom finished.
Another little stick figure stood on the side beside a couple of lopsided smiley faces that had to be the parents.
Cole looked at it for a good, long time. Cleared his throat a couple of times, because all of a sudden he was all dry and scratchy inside.
“Well, thanks,” he said, standing up quickly. “I think I have a great place for this picture.”
“Thank you,” the mother said. Her voice was quiet, but the gratitude in her eyes just about screamed out loud. Then she took the little boy’s hand and turned back toward the house.
Cole stood there a while longer, looking at the dust settle on the road, then at the picture. Closed his eyes and looked at memories for a while, too. Good memories. Bad ones. Everything in between. Then he took a deep breath and looked up again, wishing Janna were around to put it all in words for him. Even if she didn’t say anything, she’d have that I get it look he wished he could see right now.
Then he strode to the stables, because a guy couldn’t stand and stare at an empty stretch of road all day. He dropped the picture off at his apartment — a place that felt twice as small and four times as empty now that Janna was gone — then went to the stables. The horses tossed their heads and nickered warily but settled down and let him work. Pip came over, looking strangely meek, too. The dog kept his tail between his legs and licked Cole’s hand like he’d been granted an audience with the Pope or a king.
Something inside him gave a grunt of satisfaction. Top Dog. Me. The boss.
Which was ridiculous, because all the animals knew Rosalind was the big boss. That had always been okay with him, as long as he came a close second. But tonight…something had shifted somehow. Even Thunder, who nipped anyone who came into his stall, didn’t pull any of his usual tricks.
Cole swept the center of the barn, then leaned against the creaky door. The stars had come out, one by one, and hung winking in the indigo sky. Crickets chirped and warm yellow light radiated from Rosalind’s place and the guest house nearby. The scent of stew carried on the dry air, and he breathed it in deep.