I sighed, crossing my legs and sitting on my hands. “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like maybe we have, the other times I don’t know what he wants from me. He hasn’t even spoken to me since we saw him yesterday.” Sadness seeped from me. Dane got to me more than I wanted to admit.
“Cale said that he was really upset about what happened,” Leela said, reaching out and rubbing my arm in a comforting manner. “You and Dane both have your issues, and they’re both warranted, but I think that’s what keeps you both from admitting how deeply you care. I can see that you that to you this isn’t just some fling. I also know he’s wormed his way into your heart. I believe the only way things will get easier and clearer for the two of you is if you both sit down and are completely honest with each other.”
Falling in love was often what I imagined getting hit by a car would be like. The impact is a shock, you’re frozen as everything seeps in, and by the time you realize what’s happening, it’s too late. Leela’s words resonated with me, as they usually do, and reality slowly sunk in. I did care about Dane, I might even love him.
The thought was absolutely and completely terrifying.
“I guess I should call him,” I admitted.
All Leela did was nod and give me a hug. She knew how difficult this would be for me, and got up to leave me with my thoughts.
“Hey, the reason I interrupted your sex session is because I wanted us to sign up for the self-defense class tonight. There’s one at 6 PM.”
Looking over her shoulder, she smiled widely, “I’m in, babe. Good luck with Dane-y boy.”
I shook my head at her cheesiness as she slipped out the door. I definitely needed luck. I paced my room as I went over a million different scenarios for our conversation. Things would either go wonderfully or end disastrously.
Both outcomes made me nauseous.
I finally grabbed Elle, squeezing her to my stomach, and dialed his number. After five torturous rings, his voicemail picked up. I hung up and flung the phone down in frustration. The man drove me insane and in the moment I wondered what the hell I was thinking, but I stopped myself, knowing too many thoughts would suppress my bravery. I would end up masking my feelings, and Dane would never know how I really felt.
I threw on some cuter clothes, pulled my hair away from my face, and went in search of Leela.
If Dane wanted rid of me, he would have to tell me to my face. Showing up unexpectedly wasn’t something I was accustomed to doing, but considering Dane’s behavior, I figured it was my only choice. I found Leela in the kitchen snacking on the breakfast I made.
She looked up, surprised, and said, “That was quick.”
I huffed in annoyance and explained the situation. She quickly agreed to accompany me, and rushed to finish dressing. I bounced back and forth, shifting my weight from one foot to another, as I waited. Patience wasn’t my strongest suit, and I knew it would only get worse. What if he wasn’t home? What if he didn’t want to see me? What if he told me to leave? The what if’s flew through my brain, clouding my thoughts and causing doubt to spread deeper.
Leela emerged and wagged her finger at me. “Don’t do what I think you’re doing, Korah,” she scolded. “I know how you get. This is a good idea. The only reason he’s acting this way is because he’s embarrassed. You march right up to his room and set his ass straight.”
I nodded and she grabbed her keys. Fear paralyzed me. I stood in my kitchen, my chest rising quickly as my breathing became heavier. I licked my lips and gulped a few times. In true Leela fashion, she rolled her eyes, grabbed me by the wrist, and dragged me along.
###
The frat house looked different without the abundance of decorations and empty liquor bottles all over the yard. Leela ushered me out of the vehicle, giving words of wisdom and good luck wishes as I moved as slowly as a turtle to get out. I dragged my feet to the door, longing to go back in time and change my mind, but knowing it was impossible.
Lifting my fist to knock, I was startled when the door flew open and a crowd of brothers came tumbling out. Gasping, I stepped back, barely removing myself from their path. They called sorries and instructed me on in, one of them eyeing me and giving a suggestive smile and wink before dashing away.
Why did I come here?
The inside was as massive as I recalled. No one was around, so I inched my way up the staircase, stopping to inspect the spot where the root of Dane’s, and in consequence my, problems took place. The splintered wood had rained down over the steps, flakes still stuck to them, while the rest was showered along the floor directly beneath. I imagined how the scene played out, my heart hammering at the thought of Dane purposely doing something so violent.
Cale reassured me countless times Jack was a liar, but did I really know Cale well enough to trust him? Anger flowed through my veins, warming me as I thought of Christopher. He ruined everything; my trust, my life, my safety.
I couldn’t trust a friend for the demons he’d possessed me with.
I hated it.
I continued on, my mind playing the memories of Halloween through my mind like a movie. An insanely sexy and hot, but tragically confusing, movie. I recalled Dane’s warm hand pulling me along, his seductive smirk as he flirted with me, the confidence I felt for the first time in my life.
His hands on me for the first time.
His kiss. His touch. His lips.
My body reacted to my brain, the heat spreading all over. Finally to his door, I stalled, going over my list of do’s and don’t’s before knocking. I wouldn’t accuse, I wouldn’t be upset. I would tell him I cared for him, that I wanted him. I would do my damnedest to be sultry and inviting. I’d dim my feelings to him, not revealing how deep they ran, how strongly they dominated me.
I could do this.
Biting my lip, I exhaled once, knocked, and inhaled until my lungs felt like they would burst and held it. If he didn’t answer, maybe I would pass out from lack of oxygen and wouldn’t remember how idiotic I’d been.
It finally opened, revealing his unshaven face, messed do, and hard body in nothing but his boxers. I released the immense amount of air I was holding in and broke into a fit of coughs.
“Korah? Are you ok?” he asked, reaching forward and patting me on the back.
I internally kicked myself for my stupidity and nodded. “I wanted to talk,” I croaked as the last of the coughs faded. A blush crept up my neck, settling all over my skin.
“Ok. If you think it’s a good idea,” he sighed, stepping back and sweeping his arm forward, motioning me to enter.
His appearance was haggard, his expression depressed and forlorn. He leaned against the now closed door and peered at me through his thick lashes. “What do you want to talk about?”
I licked my lips, my mouth going dry as I fought to find my words. I blinked several times, twisted my hands in every direction before finally settling on sticking them in my pockets. Leaning on my heels, I allowed my eyes to study his body, starting at his lean, muscular legs and slowly, deliberately, moving up to his crotch, his waist, his chest, then finally settling on his widened eyes. “I want to talk about you and me, Dane. There are a few things you need to know and a few things I’d like to know.”
His mouth fell open and he nodded.
Here goes nothing.
Chapter Two-Dane
Korah Daniels would be the death of me. Every inch of her oozed sex appeal yet vulnerability. Her body made me hard, her eyes made me feel, her lips made me dizzy, and her mind…good grief, she did things to me no woman ever had before.
I was beginning to kind of like it.
She was brilliant, a smart and sensual combo that was kryptonite to men. Or maybe it was me she was kryptonite for. Either way, things were changing, and it was time I got on board with it. Jack dropping the charges was unexpected, but convenient. Still, Korah saw me coming out of a jail cell.
She deserved better.
So I pushed her away, I didn’t call when all I wanted t
o was ravage her, but yet, here she stood. Her large brown eyes watching me carefully, her stance nervous as she twitched about searching for her words. She wanted to talk. About what I couldn’t say, but the sinking in my gut told me she was done.
Her beautiful face, still slightly scarred from her run in with Christopher, but still the most gorgeous I’d ever seen, studied me. She finally found her voice, back to normal now, and spoke.
“Dane, I have to tell you something. I…” she paused. A hand ran through her hair as she began pacing, her lithe body tense and rigid. “I care about you,” she finally spat out. Her brows furrowed as she glanced at me, then down at her feet. Her uneasiness filled the room, engulfing us both.
Her words hit me hard. No one had cared about me in years…well, not that I knew of. Women wanted me, longed for me, but have feelings from the heart? It was something I didn’t expect. Part of me knew I would never be good enough to earn her affections, to hold such a special place in her heart, but the other part of me didn’t give a damn. I wanted her. Sometimes, I thought I needed her. I was being selfish knowing the depths of my insecurity and commitment issues. And I was an asshole for not caring.
Fear should paralyze me, eat me from the inside out, but instead it was but a small flicker in my soul. A dimming candle at the very last of its wick. Was it stupidity to believe she could be the one that wouldn’t treat me like shit? To hope she wouldn’t cheat or lie or hurt me in some way?
Not all women were my mother, or my ex-girlfriend. I knew that deep down, but convincing my mind was a different matter. She still stared at her feet, her breathing growing more rapid, and I realized I hadn’t responded.
“Korah,” I said, stepping closer. “You know how broken I am, but dammit, I care about you, too. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She took a step forward. “Then don’t.”
Shaking my head, I groaned. “I probably will. It’s what I do. I destroy good things.”
“What if you don’t? Or what if I hurt you?” she countered.
Burying my face in one hand, I mumbled her name and opened my other arm for her. She melted into me, sinking close in my embrace. Her sweet vanilla scent assaulted my senses, her soft body woke mine with awareness. I wrapped both arms around her, urging her closer, and exhaled heavily.
“Korah,” I sighed. Her name felt right leaving my lips.
“Dane,” she replied. Her soft voice tickled my skin as her breath heated my already turned on body.
I trailed my fingers the length of her spine, delighting in her responding shiver, and tipped her chin to face me. “Korah, I’m not promising anything at this point but to be there for you. I won’t whore around, as you so gently call it. I’ll try my best, but you have to know it may not be enough.”
Her silky hand caressed my face, her dark eyes holding the fate of my heart in them. “Dane, I know you’re broken, but I am, too. I don’t know how to trust. This will be a learning experience for us both. All I ask is you try, and that’s enough for me.”
I thought of her experiences with Christopher and how she so slowly was learning to trust me, to allow me to see the part of her he’d broken so badly. She was right, of course, by saying we were both broken. Two shattered souls trying to make a relationship, work would be a tough challenge, but I knew if I could do it for anyone, it would be this magnificent creature in my arms.
Lowering my face, I took her lips in mine, gently kissing away any doubt we both held. Harmonious movement of our lips led to our bodies following suit. We explored each other in a new light, throwing all insecurities out the window and only being Dane and Korah.
We came together again and again, each time more significant than the first. She fit around me perfectly, every inch of her luscious body calling to me like it was mine. Pleasuring her was like a drug, I wanted it, needed it. Hearing my name leave her lips was like hearing your favorite song on the radio. An unexpected delight, a thrill for the small moment, except the thrill of Korah didn’t go away. It stayed with me, softly humming in my soul at all times.
She was more than I deserved, yet everything I desired.
###
“Get dressed, we’re going to go out to celebrate our brokenness,” I chuckled at my own joke as I jumped off the bed.
“Ha ha, you’re so funny,” she mocked with an eye roll, but her pink, full lips pulled at the sides revealing a smirk. She stretched, her tight body moving in ways that should be illegal, causing my mind to drift to our earlier activities.
We got ready much slower than it should have taken, both losing control of our hands and prolonging the other. Once we were finally ready, we headed out only to run into Jack on the stairs. He sneered when he saw me, his eyes settling on Korah with a sinister gleam.
“Well, well,” he sang, using his free arm to draw attention to the broken one. “What do we have here? You weren’t the one he had over here last night,” he lied.
Korah tensed, but didn’t comment, only saying, “You must be Jack.”
He walked up a few steps, stopping directly in front of her. “You can do better than this douche, I promise you that. I’m sure he’s told you plenty of lies, but this,” he pointed to his arm menacingly, “is all his fault. He pushed me for talking about some girl named Korah. So tell me, how does that make you feel? You aren’t the only one.”
I bit back a smile, almost chuckling at his idiocy. She placed her hand in mine and squeezed, a movement I would have never thought would bring comfort.
“Please, tell me more about this Korah girl. And why isn’t he in jail if he did that to you?” she said calmly, even adding a bit of edge like she was upset about it.
“His friend talked me into dropping the charges, and I did it like an idiot. As for Korah, I don’t know much about her, but I asked if I could have a go when he was finished and the next thing I know, he was pushing me. Now, honey, don’t you worry, I’d be even happier to have a go at you. Give me a call when you come to your senses,” he said with a wink. He stepped around us, walking in the direction of his room.
I spoke loud enough for him to hear me. “Let’s go, Korah, dinner is waiting,”
She giggled as we left. My only regret was I wished I could see the look on his face as he realized who he was speaking to moments before. Once we stepped outside, I pulled her to me, allowing her scent to sweep over me and calm me.
“Korah, there wasn’t a girl last night.”
She nodded against me. “I know. Cale’s told me about him.”
“Cale? When did you speak to Cale?” I questioned. I hadn’t seen my friend since early yesterday evening.
“This morning when I walked in on him and Leela in bed,” she admitted with a growing blush.
I laughed heartily, imagining the horror she endured. “Were they in the middle…” I started, earning a smack on my upper chest.
“No!” she exclaimed, her cheeks glowing brighter. “Ohmygosh, no. They were finished. But still naked and yeah…”
We laughed together this time. Never did I think I would enjoy laughter so much. We talked on and off the whole way to breakfast, learning more about each other with every topic. She loved animals, hated onions, wanted to travel someday, and her dream was to write for a magazine.
I wanted her to reach her goals more than I wanted to reach mine. What did that mean?
“So, back to Cale,” I said, shifting the topic after we finished eating. “Did you see his junk?”
She squealed, throwing her napkin at me before burying her face in her arms and laying them on the table. I heard her mumble. “Oh my God” a few times.
“Is that a yes?” I asked with chuckle.
She nodded once, lifting her face enough to say, “Only for a second.”
I grinned widely, taking her hand in mine and pulling her up. “It’s ok. I won’t get jealous since you showed me a few times this morning you like my junk quite a bit.”
The adorable blush I was seeing more and more arrived again.
Narrowing her eyes, she replied, “Do you get jealous, Dane Davidson?”
“Not usually, but I might if it concerns you,” I admitted.
It was true. Korah Daniels turned my life upside down and I didn’t know anything about who I was anymore.
Chapter Three-Korah
The court date with Christopher was less than a week away. I dreaded it as much as I wanted it over with. The restraining order, hospital reports, and witness accounts were all in my lawyer’s hands, as well as mine and Dane’s statements. He had to be convicted and pay for what he did, I didn’t see any other choice. I wouldn’t be able to sleep without knowing he was locked away, getting help, or something.
Dane and I were slowly, but surely, working through one issue at a time. He was a deeply complicated person, each layer of him that peeled away revealing a new and exciting detail. He was mysterious yet open, caring and gentle, but a strong protector when I needed him to be. Our relationship was still undefined, but I was seeing it wasn’t warranted. We cared for one another, immensely, and that really was all that mattered. Labels were just that; a meaningless word to describe a never-ending emotion that ran passionately through each of us.
Jack was lying off the taunting after almost meeting me at the frat house, story I still giggled about when I thought of it. His shocked expression as he saw me, the utter stupidity as he told me about myself. A part of me wished we could have recorded it for Dane to watch over and over. His ecstatic delight in it was amusing to say the least.
Leela and I began our self-defense classes two weeks ago. I’d found out a few things since beginning them. One, I wasn’t in very good shape and needed to start running or something. Two, I was much stronger than I ever imagined. Three, if Christopher ever snuck up on me again, I now knew how to get his ass off me.
Each class grew my confidence and strength a little more. It was empowering to take control, refuse to be a victim anymore. I no longer hated Christopher, either. The more I thought of him, the more I felt sorry for him. It really was a shame he was so incredibly weak. He needed help more than he needed anything.
Intoxicating Passion The Box Set Page 13