~~~~~
Katherine was fifteen years old the first time that she saw up close and personal how one event could completely and utterly change someone’s life. It felt really strange to think of it that way. After all, you would think that the wife and mother leaving event in her father’s and her own life would have qualified in that category, but it didn’t. She hadn’t been lying in those long ago sessions with Mrs. Hatter. Her mother leaving hadn’t been that kind of a life changing event for them -- not in the way that people expected it to be. Her dad had been a little less than overly social before her mother left them, and he was a little less than overly social with a lack of desire to talk about his personal life with other people after she left. Katherine had been a little internally focused when her mother had been around, and she had been a little internally focused after she was out of the picture. How they were as individuals hadn’t changed (although they both got a lot less tense after her departure).
The addition of another person to a family dynamic, however, was apparently something of a completely different nature (and she was pretty sure that the subtraction of a person from a family that had been a different sort of family with a different sort of person than her mother would have been something of a completely different nature as well).
The day that Ruby Twist gave birth to a baby girl was a life altering event of epic proportions. Caleb had been a little noncommittal about how he felt about becoming an older brother shortly before his sixteenth birthday all throughout his mother’s pregnancy. Despite that, Katherine knew that Caleb was never going to be the same the first time that she saw him holding Sylvie. She had never seen him looking quite so awestruck (not even the day that Alisha Nashion had fluttered her eyelashes at him and conned him into building sets for the fall drama club production their freshman year).
Caleb was completely enamored with his little sister, and Katherine didn’t think she had ever seen anything so adorable in her entire life. She and Mrs. Twist had caught each other’s eyes from across the room and shared a smile that didn’t require words. His mother had been worried that he was going to end up doing some teenage boy angst over the intrusion of a new baby. She had taken to pumping Katherine for information, but Katherine hadn’t had any information on her best friend’s mental state to give for either reassurance or preventative mitigation purposes. Caleb had been especially closed up on the topic (and Caleb wasn’t exactly a fount of information flow about what he was feeling to begin with).
Mr. and Mrs. Twist had been surprised (a baby wasn’t supposed to be a possibility from what Katherine knew), but they had also been thrilled. They had also both worried about Caleb. If the situation wasn’t so serious, then Katherine would have found it amusing that Caleb’s parents had both taken to using her as a sounding board. As it was, she found less about it to be amusing and more about it to be awed at how the people she had once felt were always keeping her at a careful distance (while still somehow managing to go out of their way to be kind to her) had practically adopted her as one of their own.
She was touched, and she was honored. The day that she had come across Spence Twist on his own in the barn while looking for Caleb still left her teary in remembrance. That the usually somewhat stoic man had opened up to her about how important it was to him that Caleb never feel like he was being replaced and how important it was to him that his son never regret the fact that he had been adopted was strangely one of the times in her life that she had felt the most special.
“I don’t want him to ever think that he was somehow something less than everything we wanted; I don’t want him to feel replaced or pushed aside or as if this makes him somehow, in some way, less essential to our lives.” He had told her after he had asked her how she thought Caleb was taking the news that the new baby was coming. She had replied (surprised because Caleb’s father had never asked her to try to translate what his son was thinking for him before) that Caleb didn’t talk about it much.
“We never really told him,” he continued with his gaze settling on something far off that left Katherine not quite sure whether he was still speaking to her or not. “We’ve told him we were grateful that he came to us, but we’ve never really told him what it was like. It’s personal, you know,” he looked back at her and reassured Katherine that she wasn’t, in fact, essentially eavesdropping on her best friend’s dad’s private mental thought processes. “His mother and I were so in love with him the first day we saw him. We had both been hurting from the lack of a child; I don’t know if either of us has ever put it into words -- that conviction that we both had that there was something missing that we had to find. But, we found it. We looked at each other over the top of that boy’s head, and we both knew that it was him that we’d been missing. He was supposed to be ours; we were supposed to be his. We all just belonged with each other.” He shook his head and gave a small exhalation of breath as if blowing the words he had just spoken farther away from him. He grinned at her and made a small shrugging motion with his shoulders. “I’m rambling,” he told her. “Caleb has always told us that you were a good listener. I think he must be right about that. It probably sounds a mite crazy the way we took to Caleb, but it’s the way it was.”
“Not crazy,” Katherine told him softly not wanting to break the telling kind of mood that Mr. Twist seemed to be in as she savored the sweetness of the picture his words had drawn for her. He heard her, she surmised, when he nodded his head in acknowledgement.
“It seems like the wrong time to try to explain that to Caleb now,” he told her. “I don’t want him to think that we’re just saying things to make him feel better. I was hoping you might have some insight.”
“Caleb is . . .,” Katherine trailed off not quite sure how to finish what she wanted to convey.
“A bottler?” Spence Twist finished for her. Katherine nodded her head in response. He sighed and got that far off look again. “Some of that’s just the way that Caleb is, and some of that . . .,” he didn’t complete the sentence. Instead, he focused back on Katherine and steered the conversation along different lines.
“My boy trusts you,” he told her, “and there are some things that a teenage boy just doesn’t want to talk about with his momma and daddy. A best friend though, a best friend that he thinks the world of, that’s someone he’ll confide in if he decides that he needs to confide in anybody.” He held up a hand as if he was a little afraid that she might jump in and not let him finish what he was trying to say. “I’m not asking you to do any pushing, and I’m not asking you to break any confidences, but if the subject comes up . . . .”
“I’ll do what I can to make sure he isn’t getting all angsty thinking silly things,” she reassured him with her best smile acknowledging the unspoken truth between them that Caleb was capable of being a dweller.
There hadn’t been any more heart to hearts with Mr. Twist on that topic, but it meant a lot to Katherine that the man was comfortable enough with her (and her place in Caleb’s life) to open up the way that he had. It was like it said in her notebook of all odd things Caleb -- the Twists just didn’t let other people in the way that she had been allowed. The conversation with Spence Twist wasn’t just a conversation with Spence Twist (no matter how sweet or heartfelt or warm and fuzzy Katherine had found it). It was another marked change of her relationship and standing with the whole family.
She wasn’t just accepted for Caleb’s sake or because he had lobbied for her presence and they appreciated the fact that having her around made their son happy. She had proved something to Caleb’s parents; she wasn’t certain what that something was. They had always been nice to her (gone out of their way to be so in her opinion), but this was different. This was some sort of acceptance of her in some ways as an equal with Spence and Ruby in their concern and worry over Caleb as well as their desire to take care of him. Or maybe she was reading the situation all wrong (and she was looking for reasons and logic fo
r something that was only in her head) and all of the things in her notebook were only the ramblings of a teenage girl with far too much time on her hands and an overactive imagination.
She didn’t believe that for a moment, and she, likewise, did not believe for one moment that there hadn’t been some sort of a relational shift between her and her best friend’s parents. That belief of hers was only furthered by the ensuing conversations that she had with Caleb’s mother.
Ruby Twist was someone that Katherine had always found to be a calming sort of presence, but she had always been what Katherine referred to in her head as in perpetual motion. The woman moved between her shifts at the hospital and her chores around the Twist place with a sort of seamless, practiced grace that made her Katherine’s mental model of efficiency. With the knowledge that the baby was coming, her chronic business never wavered -- it just did some shifting in focus.
She had actually been sitting the day Katherine came inside the house to fetch some snacks to haul out to where she and Caleb were working on a cooperative lab report for their last science project of the school year (in their usual nice weather spot of the picnic table in the Twist backyard). Mrs. Twist’s hands were moving rapidly despite her sitting posture -- Katherine couldn’t discern yet what it was that she was knitting, but she thought it might be the beginnings of a blanket.
“Not too hot out there?” The woman had asked her, and Katherine had braced herself for some sort of interrogation to follow. It wasn’t the smoothest opening line -- given that the early May day was topping out in the mid-seventies. Mrs. Twist only started off conversations with clearly lacking in thought small talk when she was busy planning out a series of questions that she wanted answers to (the great where did the plate of cookies she had intended for a church bake sale go fact finding mission of two years previous came to Katherine’s mind).
“It’s fine out,” Katherine had stated carefully wondering if Caleb’s mother had been waiting to get her alone the way Caleb’s father apparently had. “Caleb’s kind of hungry though.”
Mrs. Twist gave her a small eye roll and smiled. “He’s a teenage boy, Katherine; he’s going to be hungry for the next three years most likely. Is there a reason you’re fetching for him?”
Katherine shrugged. “He’s in the middle of finishing our graph; I’ve already finished my part. I wouldn’t want him to pass out from the lack of calories -- I’d have to finish all by myself,” she teased still trying to feel out what it was that Mrs. Twist wanted to ask her.
“I think he’ll survive another few minutes,” his mother teased back. “I’d like to talk to you though,” she admitted. “Now seems like a good time to do it. I know my husband talked to you about Caleb and the baby.”
“Caleb still hasn’t said anything, Mrs. Twist,” Katherine told her.
“Caleb is Caleb,” the woman replied. “He can say a lot of things without actually saying anything specifically about the baby.”
“I know my way around Caleb and his lack of emotional expression,” Katherine stated a little annoyed before practically clamping her hand over her mouth in horror at the way she had nearly snapped at Ruby. Mrs. Twist didn’t look offended. She shook her head slightly and dropped her knitting to hold out a hand with a small waving gesture.
“No, dear, don’t be sorry. You do know Caleb very well, and I shouldn’t have implied otherwise.” She sighed and gave Katherine a sort of self-deprecating smile. “I know Caleb very well too, and I have a few years of it under my belt. It’s frustrating for me, for Spence as well, that he’s closed up on us. We can’t read him on this. Can you understand that?”
Katherine gave her a nod. She could definitely understand that. It was frustrating for her some days the way Caleb kept things to himself (even when it was clearly bothering him to do it). She didn’t have to live with him full time, and she didn’t have the additional responsibility inherent in being his parent.
“We are very excited about the baby, but we don’t want Caleb . . . .”
“To feel like he’s getting lost in the shuffle?” Katherine finished for her.
“Exactly.”
Katherine gathered her observations of Caleb together in the back of her head as well as she could to try to ensure that there was nothing amiss in what she was about to say to his mother. “I don’t think he’s upset,” she tried gaining momentum and strength of conviction in her tone as she went. “He isn’t talking about it but not in his I’m not going to talk about it because it upsets me way. It’s more like he doesn’t know what to say because he isn’t sure what he thinks yet?” It came out as a question because she wasn’t sure about her assessment. She knew Caleb well, but a large part of that knowing was understanding just how difficult it could be to pin her best friend down when it came to figuring out exactly what it was that he was thinking or not thinking about something.
“I think he’s wondering some things and trying to sort it all out in his head, but he doesn’t want to not be excited because he doesn’t want to tamp down on your joy. He needs some time to sort things out so he’s withdrawing so that he can try to do that without it affecting you. ‘Cause Caleb actually thinks that that kind of thing actually works.” She finished off feeling like she had just mumbled out a muddled mess that Ruby wasn’t even going to be able to follow. What she got in a response was a pleased smile and a resumption of the click of the knitting needles.
“That’s what I was thinking,” she nodded as she spoke. “It’s good to know that it wasn’t just wishful thinking on my part. I’m glad I can get confirmation from someone else who understands my son.”
Katherine just stayed still for a moment taking in both the words and the knowing sort of look that Ruby was giving her while she again felt that shift in relationship she had felt in her conversation with Caleb’s dad.
Caleb never came and said to her during the entirety of the summer what he was thinking about the new baby. It had become one of those untouchable topics that littered their friendship, but the staying on the outside of the situation route that he had taken in the first few weeks after he learned the news faded into his general helpfulness. He painted the spare room a soft yellow color and shifted furniture around at his mother’s direction without any signs of complaint. He even asked Katherine if she would do him a favor and fulfill some picture requests for him that he wanted for the walls.
That day in the hospital was a complete and utter parameter shift.
Caleb was smitten. Sylvie was going to be spoiled completely rotten if he was left to his own devices, and Katherine learned to choke back her snickers and cover her smiles with her hands in the following weeks when she stumbled upon a chiding Ruby telling a pouting Caleb that he wasn’t allowed to intervene when his new little sister protested (loudly) her objections to tummy time.
Caleb cooed over her and hovered over her at times as if he was afraid that someone might snatch her away. If he had ever had any doubts about the new addition to their household (unvoiced as they may have been), then they had been utterly decimated the first time the baby had looked up at him.
The Twists had never been an unhappy family. They had never seemed like they were missing anything. They had never seemed to be hurt by their lack of deep interactions with the people around them. They had been a completely functional little unit, but the introduction of Sylvie to the mix just served to prove that you didn’t have to be actually missing something for its inclusion to still add to your life.
It was wonderful to watch (especially from the front row seat that Katherine had), and there were no lack of amusing moments (because, smitten or not, the inclusion of a newborn into Caleb’s life still had its bumpy patches). The memory of the expression on Caleb’s face the first time his beloved new sister had peed on him when he was trying to change her diaper would be enough to bring a smile to Katherine’s face in recollection for the rest of her days. The deepening horror of that expression wh
en Katherine had laughed at him and commented that he should “be glad that she’s not a boy” just added to the entertainment value.
She had years of taking care of Seth under her belt, and she was occasionally applied to for assistance when Caleb didn’t want to ask his parents about something and admit that he didn’t already know.
Seth was a little enamored with the new baby himself. She had brought him over with her on one of her regular Friday night sitting times to conduct an introduction. Seth had called her “pretty baby” and played peek-a-boo. He ended the interview with a smile and by looking up at Katherine with a request to keep her. Caleb had practically snatched the baby out of Katherine’s arms as he looked at the little boy and said with a frown “sorry buddy, she stays here.”
Katherine had snorted at him. “Seriously? He’s not even three, Caleb.”
“Just laying the ground rules early,” her best friend had replied with one of the smiles that were never far from his expression when he was near the baby.
Sylvia Twist crept into their lives and nestled herself quite close to her big brother’s heart. The Twists’ fears about Caleb’s feelings and sense of place were laid to rest, and they settled in to making themselves a functional family of four instead of the one of three that they had been for so long. Sometimes, especially when Katherine came over to work on something for school or ran into the house to get something while she was hanging out outside with Caleb (and very often Sylvie as well) and discovered that the table had already been set to include her presence without anything being said or asked, she got the feeling that in a lot of ways the elder Twists had pulled her in and made them into a family of five.
She didn’t dwell on the negative connotations of that thought -- the ones that revolved around just how often she didn’t have anyone waiting on her at home and how obvious that must be to the Twists -- and thought instead of how nice it was that they were so open to having her included.
She watched Caleb and Sylvie and sometimes pondered what it would have been like to have a sibling of her own. Taking care of Seth, after all, was hardly the same thing. It didn’t really hit her until the day that she saw that Ruby had placed a new picture on their mantle (the place of choice for the Twist family matriarch’s favorite candid shots). It wasn’t one of hers (pictures that she had taken of Caleb by himself or with one or both of his parents over the last couple of years had been rotated through that space and eventually moved to albums rather often). She was actually in the picture (a rarity for her as she was so often the one behind the lens that even her dad didn’t have a lot of actual pictures of her to display). She hadn’t even realized that it had been taken. One of the Twists must have snuck up on them without them realizing (only as she looked at the picture more closely she realized that Caleb was looking at the camera with a grin on his face and therefore must have noticed that it was being taken and failed to clue her in). The three of them (Caleb, Sylvie, and herself) were on a blanket under a tree in the yard. Caleb was sitting holding Sylvie in a sitting position while she cackled as Katherine tickled her feet from her position lying on her side next to the baby.
Someone had seen the moment and taken the picture, and Ruby had decreed it mantle worthy. Katherine had stared at it with a sense of shock that was probably all out of proportion to the event. There she was -- right there on the mantle in the midst of the Twist family memories. It gave Katherine the distinct impression that she really didn’t need to ever wonder what it would be like to have siblings of her own -- she kind of already knew.
It wasn’t the last time that she would ever find her picture tucked in somewhere on the top of that shelf, but it was the most significant. Caleb had been important to her from the first time she had met him, but it wasn’t just Caleb. Her dad was important to her, she loved him, and she would never try to do anything to replace him, but she was learning that family wasn’t something that had to be so rigidly defined. Family was always something that was open for expansion -- as long as you were willing and found the right people placed in your path. Her dad was her family. Her Grammy and Grandpa Vance were her family, but the Twists had become her family as well -- all four of them.
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